Growing Pains

She was scared, so scared. She jerked upright in bed, little body trembling as the beast tried to take hold of her. It clawed at her insides, tore at her mind. She sobbed, shoving small hands over her mouth in an attempt to stifle it. She didn't want her mommy or daddy to know she was crying; they were already so worried because of all of her nightmares.

In reality, nothing bad had happened. There had been talking, and the cold ones with the red eyes had left. There was no fighting. No one got hurt. No one had died. She remembered staring at her paws - her paws, for cryin' out loud! - and shaking. There were too many voices in her head, too much at once. She couldn't handle it.

Sarah wailed. She heard her mother leap from bed, sensitive ears alert to all around her. She could hear her father muttering, what's wrong, what's wrong? as he dragged himself up. Her mother's footsteps were light as she rushed to Sarah's door. The click of the hallway light as her father followed, the high pitched, irritating squeal of squeaky door hinges as her mother pushed it open. She'd never really noticed that noise before, but now.

"Sarah, honey? Sweetheart?" Her mother sat at the edge of her bed, reaching for her, when Sarah whimpered and hiccuped again.

Ashamed, the little girl lowered her eyes. Tears escaped them, unhidden, as she struggled for the words. "Mommy." She keened as her mothers hand stroked her cheek, her hair, wiped her tears away. "Mommy, I wet the bed." She whispered, shame burning so deep inside of her she felt sick.

She began to shake. She could feel it beginning to crawl over her skin again, and she didn't know, she didn't know how to control it and -

Her mother began to sing. The voice was soothing, familiar, and Sarah focused on that. Her father was there finally, lifting her from her bed and walking carefully to the bathroom. Her mother joined a few minutes later, after stripping her bed.

Her father bathed her, lovingly, as her mother continued to sing. She felt sleepy again when she was removed from the tub, dried with a towel warmed from her mothers body, which had hugged it close to her chest as she waited.

That night the six year old slept between her parents, and the dreams didn't come back. Still, in her sleep she fidgeted and worried because tomorrow when she went to play with James down the street, she wouldn't really be playing with James. She'd be with him at a Pack meeting, surrounded by adults, and when she phased they'd all see that she wet her bed. Sarah didn't want that.

Her mother watched her brow furrow and she worried as well. She worried about her baby, who carried the weariness of a grandmother in her eyes. She worried about the time a few weeks ago, when they couldn't find a few children.

She worried about torn clothes, about wet sheets, about the activity in the woods. She worried but she slept, and in the morning, she did the laundry. She watched Sarah go outside, "Goin' to James' mommy," being called over her young daughters shoulder.

She stared out the window, across the street at one Sue Clearwater's house and she worried.

ZZZ

"I don't want to go." James muttered, scratching at his scabbed elbow. He had slipped on the stairs outside his house, rushing to meet Sarah. The wound was already healing. Thankfully, his mom hadn't seen that. The woman had started asking a heck of a lot of questions, one's he wasn't prepared for. Nine years old was way to early to be dealing with this crap.

Mom had always said the only thing she hated worse than theif was a liar, and he was the latter. Did that mean she hated him? His heart stung at the thought.

"Me neither, but we have to...Jacob said it was mand...mana..."

"Mandatory." Marie Neilson, a girl from two blocks over chirped softly. Sarah was surprised she hadn't heard the girl coming.

"Yeah, that." Sarah finished lamely, looking down at her shoes. They were starting to get holes in the toes, but mom really couldn't afford new ones, and they weren't leaking yet. She'd live.

"You okay?" Marie was seven, and a really pretty girl. All the boys in Sarah's grade had crushes on her. Which really wasn't that fair at all, because Sarah thought she was kinda cute herself, but...Oh well.

"Yeah. We should get going."

James sighed, resigned. "Yeah. Come on." He grabbed Sarah's hand - they were crossing a street, and you always buddied up and held hands when crossing a street - and watched as Marie grabbed the other one. He and Marie were the older ones, so they had to watch out for Sarah. Is was their job.

"Into the woods to bring some bread, to Granny who is sick in bed, never can tell what lies ahead, for all I know, she's already dead." Marie sang in a soft voice, eyes startlingly hard as she stared straight at the woods. Sarah shuddered between them, squeezed their hands tighter. "Into the woods, it's time to go, it may be all in vain, I know. Into the woods- but even so,I have to take the journey."

"Into the woods?" Sarah asked, as they broke the tree line and climbed over a rotting log.

"Into the woods." James assured, holding onto her tighter. He had to admit, being what he was...the world around him looked brighter. More vibrant. He could hear a chipmunk digging below their feet as they successfully scaled their obstacle.

"Straight into the Lion's Den." Marie said confidently. pulling her shoulders back and thrusting her head into the air.

"No, the wolves' den."

The children started at the new voice, ears straining to figure out where it was coming from.

"You three need to pay better attention." Leah stepped easily over the log, eyeing three of their seven newest members. "And Marie, stop being so...morbid. Into the Woods? Really?"

"Well, I thought it fit." Marie muttered, chastised. The wolf inside of her trembled at the dominace in Leah's voice.

"Come on. I'll lead the way." Leah sighed. She had always wanted a sister - both as a normal human, and later as a wolf - and now she had two. She just wished the circumstances were different. The life she led was no place for a child.

"What are they doing here?" Sarah whispered. Her voice wouldn't rise above the soft noise, and she could feel a tremble starting. It wasn't the ripping tremble though. It was one of fear. Her Pack turned to face her, glad to see that Leah had found their three straying members.

"Who?" Jake asked, head tilting to the left. His mannerisms were so doglike sometimes, James didn't know how people didn't know what they were. "Oh? The Cullens?" He strode quickly to Sarah, dropping to a squat in front of her. "They're going to help you learn how to fight. Jasper here taught me, and we figured he could teach you too. We don't want you to have to fight, but one day, that might happen. The Cullen's live close, their smells might set one of you off. We need to train you to be calm, to be strong."

"I don't want to." She breathed, staring past Jacob and at Emmett. He was big, wolf big...not to mention a lot more dangerous to her than any of her Pack would ever be.

"Sarah. Look at me." Jacob's voice became deeper, harsher. She trembled again, eyes snapping to her Alpha in fear. "We have to do this, Sarah. We don't want you to hurt your family, or any other kids. Do you want to hurt your mom or dad?"

Leah visibly twitched at the tone, the words he was using on the child. He paid her no mind, watched as tears welled up in Sarah's eyes. "No."

"I didn't think so. So we need to be brave, okay? Jasper won't hurt you. Will you feel better if it's Doc Cullen, or Alice?" She shook her head. No. "Okay, then. We're going to get you to go first, because you're the youngest. You'll have to try the hardest. It isn't going to be easy honey, I know. Now I need you to phase for me. Leah."

The older shewolf knew what to do. She took Sarah's hand and led the girl behind some trees, turning her back as the little girl stripped. She tried to ignore the soft sniffles she heard, but her heart thumped painfully in her chest. This wasn't right. It just, wasn't right.

"I need you to phase now Sarah. You have to try and concentrate." Jacob called when the rustling stopped. The older pack could care less about nudity but naked children running around wasn't a good idea, at all.

There was a low, pain filled whine as Sarah's body did what her Alpha commanded it to do. The pups phasing was slow, every bone in her body breaking and popping audible to everyone else present. Jacob stared passively until the muffled cries of pain stopped, until two little cream colored ears poked over the top of the bush.

Sarah leaned on Leah's side, just a bit larged than a real, everyday wolf. She was heaving, bile rising from the pain. She stopped, vomited, began to whimper. The older shewolf stroked her youngest sisters head, gently helped her to start walking again.

Leah decided that she fucking hated Jacob.

"All right. I need my calmest wolves here. You know who you are."

Sam, Jared and Embry moved forward without hesitation, stripping down and phasing. Their transformations were quick, effortless. Sarah envied them. In her head Into the Woods played over and over. She was scared she was going to wet herself - wet herself, oh God why did she have to think of that?

Jesus, Embry swore softly. His eyes were full of sympathy and he flattened to his belly, crawling to his little sister. He nuzzled her neck, told her it was okay.

Sam's voice filled the phased wolves' head, assuring Sarah that these things happened, there was nothing she could do about it, and if she had another nightmare she could call Emily, or Leah, or even Sam himself.

Jacob knew there was something going on, and he allowed his wolves to talk as he approached Jasper. "Go easy on her, she's only a baby." He said quietly to the vampire. "If you can, maybe help...calm her down a bit."

Jasper nodded, didn't hesitate in wrapping his mind around Sarah, forcing her to be calm. She knew it wasn't her own doing, but she was relieved that her bladder had settled and that she was no longer trembling. Slowly, she turned to face the vampire.

He began to walk towards her. "All right, Sarah." He used her name, addressed her directly. "I'm not going to hurt you, we're just going to work on teaching you how to evade being hit. Jacob said that if you ever get near a vampire, he doesn't want you fighting, he wants you to call for help and keep away. So we're going to teach you how to do that for your Alpha." He allowed the Southern lilt to fill his voice, another tool in soothing a worried mind. That voice was gentler, softer, more inviting.

"Your brothers are going to help walk you through it, tell you where to go. Just listen, and don't be scared. This is only practice. Think of it like a game of tag, and Jasper's it." Seth offered, standing beside his real sister, a hand on James' shoulder. The young boypup didn't like having Jasper so close to Sarah, who he had been friends with nearly his entire life.

Sarah took a deep breath, steadied herself. Tried to focus. She liked tag. It was fun. She could do this.

Jasper moved slow, feigning to the right. He watched as the pup crouched, tail swishing in the air. She looked almost playful, and he was glad they had made this into a game, that his powers worked on wolves. She was tense, ready to wrestle or dodge away.

She looked like a giant puppy.

As she leaned further to the right, muscles coiled, he lunged left. She yapped, jumped. Barely, she avoided him. Still, he was proud, and so was Jake. Slowly but surely, Jasper picked up the pace. It was a game of cat and mouse, with Sarah bouncing away from him. Until she decided she would bounce back.

Excited, energetic, playful, the giant shepup leapt at Jasper, teeth bared. It wasn't meant to be threatening, but those teeth could rip him. His granite arm grasped her neck, slammed her down. Not meant to hurt, just meant to show his dominance and -

Horrified he let the pup go. The pack hadn't attacked him, had been expecting the pup to get carried away but...

She was whimpering on the ground, tail tucked between her legs and they could all smell it let alone see it. The six year old shepup had wet her fur in fear.

"Oh for fucks sake Jacob, you piece of shit." Leah snarled, slamming her elbow into her Alpha's chest, nearly breaking a rib as she stalked forward to their youngest. "Get out of here." She snarled again, spinning on the vampire's and then on her Pack. "Now!" The shewolf screamed, the scream ending in a roar as her clothes shredded and she became a wolf.

Jacob watched her, calmly, then nodded. "Clear out everyone. We're calling it a day for now. Same time tomorrow. Marie, your turn tomorrow."

Marie stared at her Alpha, wide eyed and horrified. She grabbed James again, scuttled back the way they had originally come. The phased wolves aside from the girls turned human, slipped away into the afternoon for their patrols, which they'd do on two feet for now. At least until Sarah had calmed down.

The rest of the Pack hesitated, wanting to comfort their youngest sister, before they too left. Quil walked the twinpups home.

Jasper apologized once to Jacob, before the vampires and the Alpha wolf left together, leaving behind a shamed little girl and an angry woman.

ZZZ

"Here honey." Leah stood in the water, naked and holding Sarah against her leg. The river was rapid here, but it had been the closest moving water. Push had come to shove, and they had gone. Sarah didn't mind being naked around Leah, nor did she mind Leah being naked around her. She was still young enough that she showered with her mother.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault, it's Jacob's fault. He's an asshole." Leah stooped low to help splash water over Sarah. "If you want to sit, I've got you."

The little girl didn't like curse words, but she sat anyway, leaning against the strong legs of her sister. She had always wanted a big sister, and Leah seemed like the perfect one, even if - to Sarah, anyway - she was more motherly than anything else.

"I don't mean to." She murmured finally. "I just can't help it."

"You're still a little girl, Sarah. These things happen. It's not your fault, and Jasper was an idiot for doing what he did. No one's mad at you, no one thinks you did bad. You did good today, really good. I'm so proud of you. You lasted a long time. So what if you got a little over excited? Jasper had no right to grab you like that, and the next time he does, I'm going to rip his fuckin' arm off." Leah grabbed the little girl under the arms, hauling her up. "Lets say you and sun dry before we get dressed again, okay?"

Sarah had never sun dried before, she was used to having a towel waiting, but oh well. It sounded fun, and no one else was around. The girls lay on the bank of the river, staring at the canopy of trees above them. It was a rare sunny day, the grass beneath them dry, warm. She felt her eyes growing heavy, but forced herself to stay awake. She liked spending time with Leah.

"Does this happen at home?"

"Sometimes." Sarah admitted.

Leah thought back to the frantic I'm sorry and slowly raised herself to her elbows. "Do your parents get mad?" She asked, voice low. She could feel herself becoming angry.

"Nope. Mommy'n daddy real nice about it." The little girl slurred. Her eyelids drooped and Leah allowed a smile, nearly as rare as a sunny day in La Push.

"C'mon kiddo. Let's get you dressed then I'll walk you home." She helped the girl stand, again - the fourth time that day, fuck - and helped the sleepy child get dressed. When stumbling feet caught roots too many times, Leah scooped the pup into her arms.

She set the girl down at the forest edge and walked with her to her porch. She watched until she was certain Sarah had gone inside, to her mothers arms, sleepy and warm and young. She walked across the street to her own house, where her mother glanced at her absently, before turning away.

Silently, Leah promised herself she'd do everything in her power to help Sarah, to help all of the pups. This wasn't the life she wanted for them, she knew it wasn't the lives they wanted for themselves. As she walked to her room, she realized she didn't know what to do.

Still, she'd think of something. She had to. She'd help the pups stop phasing, and then she would stop phasing too.

Leah thought that after that happened, she'd leave. Leave La Push, leave the state, maybe the country or the continent. Leah's brow furrowed and as she slept, she worried.