(- -)

Complexity

Hikaru or Haruhi?

Kaoru couldn't choose both. It had to be one or the other. Haruhi was the first person that was able to tell them apart. This was when he was able to realize that he was one person with his own personality and not a half of a real person. He knew his twin was in love with Haruhi as well and it killed him to think about it.

Hurting his brother was the last thing Kaoru ever wanted to do. But letting go of the girl who made his heart run was nearly impossible. If he went after Haruhi, Hikaru would feel betrayed and hurt. If he stepped down for his brother, he would have to let Haruhi go instead. It certainly was a complex dilemma. It was a mess and Kaoru did not know how to go about it.

He lay awake at night in his bed thinking. If he fell asleep, he knew he would dream about Haruhi – how she smiled, her bright eyes, and how perfect she would be with him. But with one glance at his brother sleeping in the bed next to his gave him guilty feelings. Kaoru's dilemma was almost like a costly gamble. If he went for Haruhi, Hikaru would surely hate him. And what if Haruhi rejected him? Kaoru would be left with nothing. But if Kaoru stepped aside and let Hikaru have Haruhi, what would he do then? At times, Kaoru blamed Haruhi for making him and his brother crazy. But then he realized that he was more grateful to her than he wanted to blame her.

So the question was…did he want to give up his first crush for his brother? The decision was just so frustrating! Kaoru thought about Tamaki afterwards. What if Tamaki ended up with Haruhi? Then Kaoru and Hikaru would still have each other and wouldn't have to fight each other for the commoner girl. That thought was soon was kicked to the back of Kaoru's brain. The very suggestion was irritating to him, although, it couldn't be completely ruled out.

"You don't look so well, Kaoru. Are you sure you are all right?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru looked up from his notebook and at his brother. It was a study hall session in class now, but most people socialized instead of focusing on their work. "I'm fine, Hikaru. Perhaps you are only imagining." Kaoru said in the most casual voice he could muster.

"You look a little pale though. Maybe you should take a nap right now," Hikaru suggested.

"I might just do that."

Sleep was the last thing Kaoru wanted to do. If he did, he would dream about Haruhi and his suffering twin. There really was no one he could talk to. The person he always talked to was the last person he wanted to talk to about his situation. Their world was still small, so whom could he go to for advice and help?

Kaoru stared at his twin brother as he talked animatedly to Haruhi. He was still unaware of his feelings for her. Kaoru smiled softly. It would not be fair if he swept in and went after Haruhi when Hikaru did not realize his feelings. So until that day when Hikaru would realize his true feelings, Kaoru would be ready. When both boys were ready, they could compete for Haruhi's heart. She would be the judge on who she liked best and which one she wanted to be with.

So for now, Haruhi was off limits. It was only fair.

"Good luck, Hikaru. I will be sure to do my best as well," Kaoru muttered to himself.

I finally got this story done! it was just loitering around my folder until just now. I couldn't really sleep so I just decided to work on something. I have heard that in the tenth volume (I think) that it becomes known that Kaoru likes Haruhi and that he knows his brother likes her too. This is just something that I think Kaoru would be debating in his head. Thanks for reading!