Disclaimer: I disclaim thus Death Note as thus Death Note does not-uth belong-uth to me.
A/N: Possibly been done before. It's just silly little drabble dreamfic that appeared in my extraordinary (-cough- weird and dirty -cough-) mind. Enjoy! :)
Edit: Grammar, Mello's potty mouth, general better-ness.
Withdrawal Symptoms
The door was calling to him, pleading him to pull it open. That shiny, white handle could often be mistaken as a gateway to heaven for Mello - no, not mistaken; it was a gateway to heaven - and it had appeared out of nowhere from the darkness.
His stomach fluttered with excitement and he pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Surprisingly enough, Mello didn't feel anything, but this was going to be too pleasurable to stop. Just because it didn't exist, it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it.
He licked his lips and yanked the refrigerator door open as quickly as he could.
"Where is it…? Where the fuck could it be…?" Mello flung the offending pieces of food out into the nothingness of his dream world, where they slowly dissolved. "Aha!"
In his arms was a giant, man - or woman - sized bar of chocolate.
"My beloved chocolate! I'll never leave you alone to get infected by those stupid cakes and strawberries, ever again!"
Almost magically, he managed to pull the bar out of the refrigerator, even though it was too big to get through. He then proceeded to hug the chocolate intimately and then fell backwards to lie on a pink, fluffy bed.
Err… Black, leather-coated bed, obviously.
Suddenly, the chocolate was wrapper-less.
"Oh, baby…" He began to lick the chocolate, falling into some kind of hypnotised, state. It began to melt all around him, soaking into the bed sheets and spilling off the sides onto the now existent wooden floor.
"Yes, oh… Oh… Yes!" He screamed as he lapped up the thick substance. "More… More! So creamy…" Mello rolled around on the bed covering himself head to foot in chocolate.
-WHAM-
He rolled off the mattress, only to find the wooden floor was no longer there. Mello was falling into blackness, falling deep into the unknown, away from his beloved chocolate…
Then, he landed with a bump on a hard floor.
"Mello-san…" A voice whispered from the darkness.
Mello's eyes widened. "L?"
An image of L appeared in front of him, a frown on his face. "What have you done Mello-san? You threw out all my cakes."
"Where's my fucking chocolate, where is it?!" Mello franticly scanned the empty, concrete room, finding nothing.
"It's gone."
"W-what?" Mello stared at L, before shaking his head. "No, it can't be… No!"
"You shall pay for your misgivings," L said, his frown deepening. "In punishment for your cruelty to my food, I order you to," at this point the room span wildly around, "eat a thousand strawberries!"
"NOOOOOO!" Mello felt the sweat rolling off his face and fell onto his knees in despair, holding his head.
This couldn't be true! And coming from L of all people?! It was too much to bear!
L started to chuckle. "Only joking, Mello-kun. Here, have another bar of chocolate." L held out a normal sized bar, which Mello grabbed off him.
He took a bite, and then another, and another, the sweet taste of sugary goodness slipping down his throat causing such pleasure and sending a tingling down his spine…
"Mello! Mello-san, wake up!"
Mello's eyes shot open.
Who the fuck just woke me up…?
"Mello-san, are you alright? I heard you scream loudly from next door."
Mello turned to look at the evil son of a bitch that had stopped his pleasure, only to find the other boy staring right at him, wide eyed and twiddling with the locks of his white hair.
He scowled.
Near. Damn that bastard.
Mello jumped up out of his bed and grabbed the boy by the shirt. "What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" He shouted. "I was having a dammed good dream, there!"
Near simply blinked at him. "Ah. So, removing that open bar of chocolate from your bedside has side effects, after all."
Mello dropped his hold. "You… Did. What?!"
"I removed your night time comfort chocolate, Mello-san," Near answered.
So that was what had caused the erotic dream. Damn the bastard twice over!
Mello suddenly realised the side effect of having such a pleasurable dream.
There was throbbing at his crotch area.
Oh, crap...
"Well, thanks, but no thanks, for your concern, Near," Mello grabbed the smaller boy's arm and tried to force him out the room. "I'm fine, just really tired, must get back to bed…"
But Near was not so easily fooled. He had seen the sneaky glance Mello had taken towards the lower half of his body and decided to investigate with his own eyes.
He's staring at my crotch! Fucking… Agh! Damn him a third time!
Near's eyes widened as he continued to stare at Mello's area, Mello getting more and more angry as the seconds past.
How long did it take him to work it out? The guy was supposed to be a genius.
But, when he did eventually work it out, Near would know...
He would know just how bad Mello's chocolate fetish was.
Definitely not good.
"Mello-san…" Near started, looking shocked to the core, but unbelievably still staring at Mello's man-hood.
"Go back to bed, Near," Mello said through gritted teeth.
"I didn't know…"
Mello rolled his eyes. When would this guy stop staring? It was passed annoying by now, and on the edge of disturbing. He sighed; there was only one way to get rid of him…
Better ask the genius what's wrong with him.
"What is it, Near?" He hissed.
"Mello-san…You're… you're a…a… male?!"
Fin