AlN:Well I havent actually written in quite some time. I thought the best way to get back in the groove is with something totally off head. I have been thinking about this idea for awile. Tracker was always such an intresting character to me, to bad they never really gave him more of a storyline, so I thought I would do the honors. Keep in mind I didnt see the end of season 7 or 6 and havent seen any of 8. So I dont know exactly what happened with Sean when he came back or what Emma is doing as of now, in college. Just bare with me, and CONSTRUCTIVE cristicism is always a must.
*The title of this story is taken from a Tori Amos song.*
Summary: Sean is killed, in the army. Before he died, he wrote a letter to his first love Emma Nelson. Now for his last wishes she has to bring Tracker back home, to Wesaga to have his ashes poured out in the ocean. The two embark on a trip of redemtion and forgiveness.
Disclaimer:I dont own a thing about Degrassi. I am just a fan of this ground breaking show.
The sun shot harsh rays from the window pain, a slight wince could be heard from her small lips. Blonde hair thrown about like an old rag. The alarm had gone off for more than two minutes now, yet she couldnt pull herself to make the next step. Suddenly a voice entered the room. "EMMA! Get up!" it yelped, obviously annoiance in the voice. "Leave me alone, Manny." Emma slurred through the big blanket on top of her. With frustration burning in tow, Manny yanked the covers from her head, looking at her harshly through brown lids. "Look, Em, I know ever since-" she was cut off as Emma began to speak. "Just dont say it, I dont want to talk about it, thats it." she warned, waving her hand at her bestfriend to leave. "Damnit Emma, I am hurting too. Can you see that? Or do you even care?" she asked, eyes welling up, facing deep into the eyes of numbness and contemept. Emma didnt answer, as she simply pulled the covers back over her head. A breath could be heard from the brunnetes mouth. "This came for you." she said emotionless, throwing it about on top of her. "I love you, but you have to get a grip, soon." she muttered, walking out of the dorm room, head down. Emma rose up, slightly, grabbing the package. It seemed to be the size of a small television. The adress came from a military base, one she was told Sean was in. A shiver julted through her spine, leaving tingles on the back of her kneck. 'I cant open this.' she thought to herself petting it slightly with her right hand. Something like this could only break her more, yet she yearned to know what exactly awaited her, and what it had to do with the now dead, Sean Cameron. Reaching for it once more, she opened it little by little. Closing her eyes, she finally dared herself to look into the brown, precisly taped box. Inside contained something that at first made Emma sick to her stomach. A small urn containing the remains of once young and lively Sean. Holding it with one hand, and her stomach with the other, her eyes rose to the ceiling. A small trail of exales came to play as she slowly tilted her head back down to see not only the clay struture, but an envolope aswell. Her hand gently was removed from the urn, and onto the letter. More quickly and sure this time, her fingers ripped away at the white. The words jumped out at her, a hand lay over her mouth, holding her tears back, only slightly.
Dear Emma,
I know right now, getting this letter may be strange. It was something that a few of my army pals and I thought was only right to do. If you are in fact reading this, im sorry. Heh, that sorta of made me laugh. Apoligizing for my own death. I guess its funny the way life works out. Anyway, I dont know exactly what I would put it one of these type letters. You know I was never good with words. I guess all I want to say is that, your my bestfriend, here and in the after life. I have never met another human being as brilliant as yourself. I know sometimes I didnt know how to handle things, or how to tell you what I felt, but right now, the words seem to be flowing...okay. When your this near to death, that tends to happen, i've heard. Or maybe the fact that it took me awhile to figure out exactly what I have always wanted to say, and now is just the right time, sadly to say. Im at war, and your half around the world. Great time to get my feelings right, heh. Another reason I am writing this is because, if I am dead, I have a few slight requests. Its a bit cliche, but i never was an original type guy, I would like to, maybe have my ashes put into the ocean, at Wasega Beach. I would like it if Tracker was there, too. Last time I saw my brother, I was sixteen and rebelious. I want him to know me, know me now. I want him to see me let go, so he knows I died for something right. That I grew up to me something better. Em, I know this is all just coming to you at once, but the Emma I have always known was strong and independant, and willing to help out a friend. So, I am asking you, as friend, as the only person who seemed to give two shits about me, to do this one last thing for me. Your last goodbye to Sean Cameron. Well, I guess thats all I really wanted to say. My flashlight is diming. Emma, if I have any last words to you, I want it to be, Thank you. You have made my short time here, a little bit brighter, and its alot harder than it sounds. See you again, maybe, heh.
Love,
Sean
Her mouth lay open, eyeing the paper as if were going to bite her. Catching each word as if she had to say them slowly, as if she had to analyze every detail of his writing. The curves on his letters or the way he wrote her name. Emma read the letter over and over for the next two hours. Sean was dead, and even he could except it, yet she couldnt. 'Your last goodbye to Sean Cameron...' the words rolling in her mind through the rest of the day. She had never thought that she would ever actually have a "last" goodbye with Sean. Once they would say it, it was only a matter of time till he was back in her life. It was a game that had been going on for more than six years. Now, her opponent was gone, she was in the ring, doing a constant dance with her instability. He was there, and then he wasnt. Emma was never used to people leaving and never coming back. He was the first that left her without an 'I love you'.
The blonde, her hair now up, in a throwed ponytail. Her pajamas still intact aswell as the dry salty tears taking her face over. The door opened slightly, revealing Manny and Liberty this time. "Hi, guys." Emma forced a smile as she raised her eyebrows. "Hey Emma." Liberty said first, obviously feeling the aqward vibe in the room. Her lips curled up a bit, forcing a smile to her broken friend. Manny moved closer, nibbling on her bottom lip, eyes tightly shut as she sighed inwardly. "Em, i-im so-sorry. I didnt mean to get you upset-" she was cut off once more by Emma, this time a smile hung from her face. "Manny, its okay, im sorry. I-you, were right. I have been a bit distant and lousy since Sean died. I have to get over it, one way or another." she shrugged, her face turning to the right, staring at the blank wall. "Sean died only a month ago, your not ready, I should have known that." Manny's frown drooped low as she moved strand of hair from Emma's eyes. "Your not ready,baby." Manny looked at Emma, her face blank and sure. "No. I wasnt ready for the truth. I wasnt ready to give him up. I dont want to get over Sean, I dont think I ever will." A dry chuckle escaped her lips as she burried her head into her pale hands. "Thats what was in the package.." she muttered, her voice low, hidden beneath her greasy palms. Manny picked it up, her face, gathered up into a strong lemon reaction. "Em-Emma, Sean wrote this?" she asked, oblivious to the fact that she read it ofcourse. "Yes." she said simply, her chin now rested firmly on her knees. "Are you going to do it?" she asked, finger pointed down on the scribbled words. "I have to." was all she said before she grabbed the letter from Manny's hand, placing it back into the box it came from.
A/N:I know its short, but I wanted to start it out slow. Then get a faster hold of it. Next chapter will feature Tracker, his life, and is answer to Sean's request. Please review! Thanks, all.