Setsuna Satsuma
by *EvilSquirrel
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, but I do own some Satsumas...
Meiou Setsuna eagerly awaited the snack that Kaioh Michiru was currently preparing. It had been a long day of battles, so the fourteen senshi were tired, bloody and hungry beyond all reason. Even through the tiredness, two of their number were kind enough to prepare food...well...two of them prepared food, but not kindly. Makoto was on the warpath and didn't like the kitchen setup in Michiru's apartment, so there were several egg yolks splattered on the wall.
The two wavy-haired senshi were tearing through the refrigerator, frantically looking for more food. Ami had received a grapefruit, which she ate without removing the rind, and Rei was choking down a pear. Haruka eyed a package of tofu with distrust, while Chibi-Chibi buried her face in cold Campbell's soup. Usagi was pounding the table, yelling for food, while Yaten teased that she didn't need any. Michiru had whispered that Setsuna's snack would be next.
As Makoto poured applesauce into a pink bowl, Michiru held out an object so horrifying to Setsuna that it made her turn pale. The small, orange orb in Michiru's hands scared the guardian of time beyond the point of screaming. Then Michiru uttered two fateful words...
"Satsuma, Setsuna?"
Chibi-Usa giggled. Taiki snorted into his SlimFast. Mina was quaking from repressed laughter. All at once, everyone except Usagi and Setsuna were rolling on the floor laughing and pounding on the ground.
"I don't get it." Usagi muttered, a large sweatdrop rolling down her face.
"I'm...so...sorry...Satsuma---I mean Setsuma---I mean...heeheeheehee!" Michiru said in between bursts of laughter until the name confusion made everyone (except Usagi and Satsuma...I mean Setsuna) laugh even harder.
Setsuna stared at the little orange fruit now in her possession.
"It's all your fault!" She accused the tangerine, unpleasant memories filling her mind.
* * * * *
Flashback(s)
"Dear Meiou Satsuma," the note read "I would go out with you if you weren't named after a fruit I'm allergic to. Love, Houyuno."
"It's not fair!" a sixth grade Setsuna sobbed.
"Here she is, Chronos," the queen of Pluto beamed, holding up a baby SailorPluto "our little Setsuna."
"Have you gone daft?" King Chronos asked. "That's not a tangerine!"
* * * * *
"And now they're doing it too!" Setsuna sobbed.
The rest of senshi were still rolling all over the floor, kicking their feet and howling.
"I've had enough!" Setsuna cried in a wild rage, and proceeded to bop all the people who were laughing over the head with her Garnet Rod.
FIVE HOURS LATER
"And...and then I got the letter..." Setsuna sobbed, pouring out all the puns and misconceptions having to do with Japanese tangerines and her name, while peeling the fruit and eating the little pulp sections.
Usagi suddenly got the joke and began to giggle...then to snort...then to laugh...then to roll on the floor and pound her fists on the ground.
"YOU INCONSIDERATE LITTLE...."
"AAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Usagi yelled, dodging and running from Setsuna, who was wielding the Garnet Rod and screaming bloody murder.
The rest of senshi woke up from their state of unconsciousness, and saw the half-eaten little fruit on the counter top. This sent them into more fits of hysterical laughter.
And so it continued into the night.
Konyets
by *EvilSquirrel
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon, but I do own some Satsumas...
Meiou Setsuna eagerly awaited the snack that Kaioh Michiru was currently preparing. It had been a long day of battles, so the fourteen senshi were tired, bloody and hungry beyond all reason. Even through the tiredness, two of their number were kind enough to prepare food...well...two of them prepared food, but not kindly. Makoto was on the warpath and didn't like the kitchen setup in Michiru's apartment, so there were several egg yolks splattered on the wall.
The two wavy-haired senshi were tearing through the refrigerator, frantically looking for more food. Ami had received a grapefruit, which she ate without removing the rind, and Rei was choking down a pear. Haruka eyed a package of tofu with distrust, while Chibi-Chibi buried her face in cold Campbell's soup. Usagi was pounding the table, yelling for food, while Yaten teased that she didn't need any. Michiru had whispered that Setsuna's snack would be next.
As Makoto poured applesauce into a pink bowl, Michiru held out an object so horrifying to Setsuna that it made her turn pale. The small, orange orb in Michiru's hands scared the guardian of time beyond the point of screaming. Then Michiru uttered two fateful words...
"Satsuma, Setsuna?"
Chibi-Usa giggled. Taiki snorted into his SlimFast. Mina was quaking from repressed laughter. All at once, everyone except Usagi and Setsuna were rolling on the floor laughing and pounding on the ground.
"I don't get it." Usagi muttered, a large sweatdrop rolling down her face.
"I'm...so...sorry...Satsuma---I mean Setsuma---I mean...heeheeheehee!" Michiru said in between bursts of laughter until the name confusion made everyone (except Usagi and Satsuma...I mean Setsuna) laugh even harder.
Setsuna stared at the little orange fruit now in her possession.
"It's all your fault!" She accused the tangerine, unpleasant memories filling her mind.
* * * * *
Flashback(s)
"Dear Meiou Satsuma," the note read "I would go out with you if you weren't named after a fruit I'm allergic to. Love, Houyuno."
"It's not fair!" a sixth grade Setsuna sobbed.
"Here she is, Chronos," the queen of Pluto beamed, holding up a baby SailorPluto "our little Setsuna."
"Have you gone daft?" King Chronos asked. "That's not a tangerine!"
* * * * *
"And now they're doing it too!" Setsuna sobbed.
The rest of senshi were still rolling all over the floor, kicking their feet and howling.
"I've had enough!" Setsuna cried in a wild rage, and proceeded to bop all the people who were laughing over the head with her Garnet Rod.
FIVE HOURS LATER
"And...and then I got the letter..." Setsuna sobbed, pouring out all the puns and misconceptions having to do with Japanese tangerines and her name, while peeling the fruit and eating the little pulp sections.
Usagi suddenly got the joke and began to giggle...then to snort...then to laugh...then to roll on the floor and pound her fists on the ground.
"YOU INCONSIDERATE LITTLE...."
"AAAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Usagi yelled, dodging and running from Setsuna, who was wielding the Garnet Rod and screaming bloody murder.
The rest of senshi woke up from their state of unconsciousness, and saw the half-eaten little fruit on the counter top. This sent them into more fits of hysterical laughter.
And so it continued into the night.
Konyets