In Your Dreams
Metro Man was late. Megamind had been waiting hours for the hero to show up. Where is he? He thought as he tapped his foot. With his super speed, shouldn't he have been here the second I called? As usual, Roxanne Ritchi was sitting in the kidnapping chair, her ankles and wrists tied. Minion was watching the monitors when there was nothing to watch.
Megamind swore this was the last time he did an evil plot after midnight! All he wanted was to show Roxanne how unpredictable he could really be! Well, all that did was give him a complaint for kidnapping so late at night and an endless wait for Metro Man!
I might as well threaten Miss Ritchi with my new pet alligators, he thought with a smile.
"Since we obviously have time, Miss Ritchi," he cackled, breaking the long, sustained silence, "quake in fear at my…"
But as soon as he had turned around he realized Roxanne had her back slumped against the chair, her eyes shut and her head hanging off to the side. Megamind looked more closely and realized she had fallen asleep.
"Minion," he called, "am I really that boring?"
But the fish had also fallen asleep and was floating freely in that fish bowl on top of the gorilla robot suit.
"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!" Megamind mumbled, slumping into his big black chair.
He couldn't blame them for falling asleep though. He was feeling rather tired himself. What time was it now? Three a. m.? What was taking Metro Man so long?
He must be thinking of something clever to say in our witty banter, he thought, chuckling. That buffoon may have super strength, super vision and the works, but brains are something he lacks of.
Megamind was pulled out of his thoughts as Roxanne stirred a little and made a slight groan in her sleep. It must not be very comfortable, falling asleep in that chair all tied up. He tried to knock this out of his giant blue head, but it came back with plenty of more thoughts as he gazed dreamily at his captive.
From the moment he had first seen the reporter on TV, he had had a thing for her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on! She had perfect skin, brilliant blue eyes and gorgeous short brown hair. He became even more interested when he had first kidnapped her and she didn't even scream! Even though he had been trying to get one out of her for the past few years, he was thrilled that there was someone, other than Metro Man, who wasn't afraid of him.
He sighed heavily as he continued to watch Roxanne in her peaceful slumber. He knew very well that she could never be his, even if he wasn't a villain. She was perfect, while he was a blue-skinned alien with an enormous head. Roxanne obviously preferred brawny, handsome men like Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes. No, she would never want him in a million years.
And yet, she seemed to enjoy their banter during every kidnapping. There had even been some flirting, though maybe that was just to try and get him off guard. Either way, it was working, even now when she was asleep.
Megamind's eyelids fluttered as they tried to keep open. He had stayed up the night before, planning to destroy Metro Man with a ray that released sulfuric acid. Surely, the hero couldn't fight against that. It wasn't long before they had finally shut tight.
His vision blurred and he found himself on a grassy hill. Funny, he didn't usually have dreams like this, and the shining sun was hardly ever involved. He usually dreamt of what actually happened in real life: going to jail, breaking out of jail, failing miserably, going back to jail, etc. When he wasn't dreaming about that, he was in a world where he had destroyed Metro Man and became Evil Overlord of Metrocity! Then there was Roxanne Ritchi…
He heard a slight gasped and turned to see the lovely reporter sitting on a picnic blanket with a shocked expression on her face. The shock turned into a scowl that made Megamind want to run. Great. Even in my dreams, she still hates me.
"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.
He couldn't resist the banter. "Well, excuse me, Miss Ritchi, but this is my dream and you have no right to be here!"
"What are you talking about? This is my dream."
"No, it's mine!"
"No, it's mine!"
This was pointless. The 'witty banter' had turned into childish bickering. It wasn't until after the line was repeated twenty times that Roxanne finally put up her hands.
"Okay, enough! This is just stupid. You're already holding me captive and you have to kidnap me in my dreams, too? My life doesn't revolve around you, you know?"
It's more like my life revolves around you, Megamind wanted to say aloud, but couldn't, even if it was just a dream. But instead, these words came out: "Did I ever mention how beautiful you look when you're angry?"
Roxanne's blue eyes widened. "What?"
"You captured my heart the minute I saw you." Where is all this coming from? "But I know very well, Miss Ritchi, that you would never accept me. With my blue skin and giant head, it's perfectly obvious. After all, when does the villain ever get the girl?"
The reporter blinked. Megamind was sure she would be clawing his eyes out by now if this wasn't a dream. Instead, she beckoned him to sit beside her. He hesitated, but fulfilled her wishes.
"You're not a villain," she stated. "You kind of do bad things sometimes, but you never hurt anyone. You've certainly never hurt me. As for your looks, my parents taught me never to judge a book by its cover. You may seem evil, but you're not that evil."
Megamind's heart leaped in his chest. He knew this was definitely a dream, since never in a million years would she say something like that! His heart beat even faster as she leaned in towards him.
A loud crash interrupted. Megamind woke with a start and fell out of his spinning chair. Roxanne's and Minion's eyes shot open as Metro Man appeared before them.
"Don't you know it's rude to awaken someone at this hour?" Megamind grumbled, his voice slightly broken.
"Don't you know it's rude to kidnap a lady this late?" Metro Man replied.
"Oh, you're the one to talk! Where were you three hours ago?"
But Megamind didn't hear the comeback because he was too busy glancing at Roxanne. She looked sleepy, and for some reason, shocked. He sighed, thinking about the dream. It was nothing more than that.
Metro Man was confused when his nemesis didn't respond. "Uh, hello?"
Megamind snapped back to the hero. He wasn't in the mood for any more banter.
"Tell you what, Metro Man. I'll make you a deal. Since you were late, the moment to destroy you is gone! How about if I give you back Miss Ritchi now, you won't send me to jail this time?"
All three pairs of eyes widened in surprise. Roxanne's mouth hung open. Megamind just wanted his rival to take her already, so he wouldn't have to look at her another minute.
"Well," Metro Man stammered, "I guess we could call this one a draw. Don't go bragging that I let you escape this one."
"Believe me," Megamind said, though he was sure his rival didn't, "you won't have any problems with that."
Without another word, Metro Man untied Roxanne and scooped her up in his arms. The villain watched with envy in his heart.
"What kept you?" the reporter asked the hero as he flew her home.
"I haven't been getting much sleep," Metro Man explained, "and lack of sleep affects my powers. Don't tell Megamind that."
At the mention of his name, Roxanne's face fell and began wondering. Metro Man noticed this.
"Are you okay, Roxy?"
She shook the thoughts out of her head. "Yeah, I just…had a really weird dream."
"What about?"
"Nothing."
Meanwhile, back at the Evil Lair, Megamind was changing into this pajamas and bat slippers. Minion picked up his master's uniform to get it cleaned.
"What was that all about?" he questioned. "Are you alright, sir?"
"Yeah," Megamind said in a voice barely audible. "Just exhausted, that's all."
Minion began checking the pockets, since Megamind never emptied them himself. There had been several occasions when he had left a dehydration cube in there and a person appeared out of the washing machine. The fish robot took out a small device and looked at it curiously.
"What's this, sir?"
Megamind's eyes widened as they beheld the device.
"I had completely forgotten all about that! That's my Mind Walker! It's supposed to allow me to enter minds. I was going to use it on Metro Man, so I could find out his weakness. I hadn't had the chance to test it yet."
Then the pieces came together. He must have activated the device when he fell asleep. That's why Roxanne had argued that it was her dream! And all those things she had said…
"Minion!" he cried happily. "Do you know what this means? Roxanne doesn't think I'm a villain!"
The fish wasn't processing. "I'm…sorry, sir?"
"Sorry? Why should you be sorry? I've never felt so happy in my life!"
Minion watched, still confused, as his master began laughing and dancing happily around his bedroom. Megamind halted when he realized his friend was still standing there. Then he remembered the device and snatched it from the robot's hand. He wondered what else he could find out tonight.
Unfortunately, the Mind Walker was crushed in his sleep. Oh well.