Little Bobby
This is my spoof of an old family sitcom (like Leave it to Beaver). It
came to me in a dream.
See it in pictoral form at http://simonandfriends.action-figure.net/bobby1.html
it's a lot better that way! Then come back here for chapter 2.
It's really insane, it really scared me when I dreamed it up. But it's
funny.
Here I go... (launching like a hurricane)
Bobby (a five year old blonde boy) walks in from school. His mother
(Dr. Zira from Planet of the Apes) goes to him.
Zira: Hi sweetie.
Bobby: I passed by Mr. Maul from next door- he was screaming, holding his
eyes, and rolling around in the grass. Did you flash him again?
Zira: Oh, honey! Yes. I just can't resist. How was your day?
Bobby: Those kids made fun of me again.
Zira: Want me to fling feces at them?
Bobby: That won't help.
Zira: Couldn't hurt. Would you like some homemade cookies?
Bobby: Yeah!
Zira: Well to bad! Ah hahahahahaha! That NEVER gets old! Here's a Pop
Tart.
Dad (John Lennon) comes in.
John: Honey, I'm home!
Zira: How was your day at the plant?
John: Uhhhh... good (thinks back on his day of playing in his band).
How was your day of flashing Mr. Maul?
Zira: Just fine.
Bobby: My school play's tomarrow!
Zira: That's great.
Bobby: I'm in it.
Zira: (emotionless) Spectacular.
Bobby: I don't know my lines.
Zira: Great.
Bobby: I burned your favorite dress.
Zira: Did you just say that to get my attention?
Bobby: No really. I did.
Zira: Sure you did.
Bobby: Mr. Celery man told me to.
Zira: Sure.
Bobby: Sometimes he hits me.
The next night...
Bobby stands with John by school.
Bobby: I still don't know my lines.
John: We're going inside. Now.
Show inside of building, Zira runs by stage nekkid.
Bobby: Why's Mommy streaking at my school?
John: It was one of her life goals.
Bobby: That's what you said about the mall.
John: That's enough.
Bobby: And the library...
John: Shush.
Bobby: And the orphanage.
Lights cut, spotlight shines on stage.
Teacher: (Skinner) Welcome to our production of Romeo and Juliet.
Little Girl comes out dressed as Juliet.
"Juliet": Romeo, oh Romeo, where fore art though?
Bobby: (not dressed as Romeo) Uhhhh, here?
Juliet: Um, is that the line?
Bobby: I don't know.
Show audience, Zira (still nekkid) sits down by John.
Zira: What'd I miss?
John: Billy doesn't know his lines.
Zira: I knew that.
John: (looks at Zira) Now I remember why I married you.
Back to stage.
Juliet: Refuse thy throne and--
Bobby: I haven't even read the script.
Juliet: (groans) Do we have a backup?
Suddenly, plywood balcony that Juliet's on collapses.
Bobby: How convenient. (runs)
Juliet: Please help.
Show Bobby running outside, Mr. Celery Man running beside him.
Mr. Celery Man: You did great. Now start another fire.
End.
I'm scared too. Maybe if I have another insane dream I'll update.
This is my spoof of an old family sitcom (like Leave it to Beaver). It
came to me in a dream.
See it in pictoral form at http://simonandfriends.action-figure.net/bobby1.html
it's a lot better that way! Then come back here for chapter 2.
It's really insane, it really scared me when I dreamed it up. But it's
funny.
Here I go... (launching like a hurricane)
Bobby (a five year old blonde boy) walks in from school. His mother
(Dr. Zira from Planet of the Apes) goes to him.
Zira: Hi sweetie.
Bobby: I passed by Mr. Maul from next door- he was screaming, holding his
eyes, and rolling around in the grass. Did you flash him again?
Zira: Oh, honey! Yes. I just can't resist. How was your day?
Bobby: Those kids made fun of me again.
Zira: Want me to fling feces at them?
Bobby: That won't help.
Zira: Couldn't hurt. Would you like some homemade cookies?
Bobby: Yeah!
Zira: Well to bad! Ah hahahahahaha! That NEVER gets old! Here's a Pop
Tart.
Dad (John Lennon) comes in.
John: Honey, I'm home!
Zira: How was your day at the plant?
John: Uhhhh... good (thinks back on his day of playing in his band).
How was your day of flashing Mr. Maul?
Zira: Just fine.
Bobby: My school play's tomarrow!
Zira: That's great.
Bobby: I'm in it.
Zira: (emotionless) Spectacular.
Bobby: I don't know my lines.
Zira: Great.
Bobby: I burned your favorite dress.
Zira: Did you just say that to get my attention?
Bobby: No really. I did.
Zira: Sure you did.
Bobby: Mr. Celery man told me to.
Zira: Sure.
Bobby: Sometimes he hits me.
The next night...
Bobby stands with John by school.
Bobby: I still don't know my lines.
John: We're going inside. Now.
Show inside of building, Zira runs by stage nekkid.
Bobby: Why's Mommy streaking at my school?
John: It was one of her life goals.
Bobby: That's what you said about the mall.
John: That's enough.
Bobby: And the library...
John: Shush.
Bobby: And the orphanage.
Lights cut, spotlight shines on stage.
Teacher: (Skinner) Welcome to our production of Romeo and Juliet.
Little Girl comes out dressed as Juliet.
"Juliet": Romeo, oh Romeo, where fore art though?
Bobby: (not dressed as Romeo) Uhhhh, here?
Juliet: Um, is that the line?
Bobby: I don't know.
Show audience, Zira (still nekkid) sits down by John.
Zira: What'd I miss?
John: Billy doesn't know his lines.
Zira: I knew that.
John: (looks at Zira) Now I remember why I married you.
Back to stage.
Juliet: Refuse thy throne and--
Bobby: I haven't even read the script.
Juliet: (groans) Do we have a backup?
Suddenly, plywood balcony that Juliet's on collapses.
Bobby: How convenient. (runs)
Juliet: Please help.
Show Bobby running outside, Mr. Celery Man running beside him.
Mr. Celery Man: You did great. Now start another fire.
End.
I'm scared too. Maybe if I have another insane dream I'll update.