How I Met Your Mother- "Robin"

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended

Summary: In a Stinson family fantasy, the famous film noir "Laura" is recast.

Story Note: If you adore Ted, you may want to choose something else. Barney and Robin have some fun with Ted Waldo Mosby here.

General Note: If you prefer to stick to ending one as aired, fine by me. But they did create an upbeat alternate ending which can be viewed (sorry can't put the web link up on ffnet but try google search or youtube or go to my Buffy Rebecca verse in a few days.)

And oh, come on. After that Canadian rehersal dinner and the proposal, how could Barney ever let Robin go? And you know she'd kill him first. You want "in the real world", fine…Robin's not right for him and Ted's a fool to risk his happiness over the wrong girl but the right best friend...

Part I...

"New York City, circa Spring 1944…It was an exciting time to be alive. The Nazis were in trouble in Russia and just hanging on in Italy but not quite finished yet, prosperity was on the horizon though all were doing their bit for the war effort. My greatgranduncle Barney, one of New York's finest, famed Lieutenant of Detectives, undrafted due to gallant line-of-duty (and a few others, not so line-of-duty) injuries and all-around awesomeness as a detective, had even gone to the whole length of restricting himself to one suit per season." Cut to shot of circa 1944 Barney in suit, overcoat, fedora, ala Dana Andrews, standing in circa 1944 New York City street outside McLarens' Bar, at that time owned by Carl's grandfather, Carl.

("One suit? No…" mock horror look to the three Scherbatsky-Stinson children, Ellie, Robin Jr, and Barney, Jr. on couch, beside the second speaker, their mother the beauteous and ever-bodacious Robin Scherbatsky-Stinson, famed newscaster and producer, all four of whom rolled eyes.

"And who was this mysterious great-granduncle we've never heard of, that even my bro-in-law doesn't remember…?"

"Barney J. Stinson, much decorated Lieutenant of Detectives…The memory will come back in a moment, right, natural bro?"

"Yeah…Sure…Great uncle Barney." Sigh, smile from Barney's older brother James, seated on other section of couch by his husband Tom. "How could I have forgotten to ever mention him…?"

"Busy lives…" the narrator, one Bernard Stinson, Sr. noted quickly.)

"Anyway, as I was saying, the Spring of 1944 was a grand time to be alive and alive in New York City. The Depression was over and though suit rationing was in effect…Even FDR restricting himself to a winter and summer suit…Patriotism, and Eleanor, you know…"

Cut to shot of Eleanor "Robin" Roosevelt grimly eyeing Franklin "Barney" Roosevelt in his wheelchair as he rolled through a tailor's shop, she beside him…Numerous comely young women adoringly following, requesting autographs of the great president, and all starved for male attention due to wartime male rationing. "Aw, Babs…How can I pick just one?" "Franklin, there's a war on…And we'd better be talking suits."

("Ok to my being Eleanor on the idea you respect her that much…" Robin eyed Barney sternly.

Barney, giving "what" stare…"Totally. A great woman. Plus, have you seen photos of her when she was young. In my days of brodom I would've gone on that…And given her low self-esteem at the time…" "Barney?! Kids!" "Just making sure Bboy Jr doesn't listen to nasty stories about Mrs. R's appearance. Girl was hot till she got a little depressed after Franklin made a foolish mistake and let awesomeness go to his head... Hey, remember those pics of Mom when she and I first dated and she got all…Eggh…" "I thought burned those?!" "Robin…Darling…I keep everything…And you know the storage facility where I keep everything." "Just lets be sure 'awesomeness' never goes to your head…" frown. "Wife-bro?" hurt look. "Sorry. Filed point in your favor, hus-bro."

"That is really admirable, Barney. You sticking up for Mrs. Roosevelt like that." Ted Mosby, best friend of the said Barney Stinson, Sr, narrator, the usual sort of reasonably good-looking, anxious-to-be-recognized posuer, hanger-on type, taken under wing by the awesome, noted high-mindedly in his usual effort to seem both well-informed and noble.

"Hey, I am not a 'hanger-on', nor 'anxious-to-be-recognized poseur'…" Ted frowned from his chair. "And I am well-informed, I don't 'seem' to be."

"You did ask if we'd read the latest article about you in 'Architecture Today'…" Robin noted. "And you did bring a dozen copies of the article, honey…" Tracy Mosby, long-suffering and lovely…Person, (at Robin's quick frown)…Wife of said Ted.

"I thought my friends would like a copy…I'm not a poseur and I've never hung on…" said Ted, sulking in his usual way.

"I am not sulking, Barney!"

"He's really gonna be mad by the end of this, you know…" Robin noted, aside, to your narrator, Bernard Stinson, Sr. "Pissed. But after that fantasy about killing off Tracy with 'cancer' and us divorcing so he could get you…He deserves this. For Tracy's sake, even if she's forgiven him." High-minded look. "You be right, hus-bro." Nod, slap of hands.)

"Getting back to the story…Detective Lieutenant Stinson had been called to this place, a popular NYC watering hole, by his own chief, the politically-minded, though not totally corrupt, Commissioner of Police, Randolph Erickson."

("Objection…" Lily Erickson, lovely…Person… if rather small-sized female friend of your narrator called from her chair, interrupting the flow of narrative as she so often did. "You're not the judge in the family, you can't object." Barney frowned.

"I granted her the power in family/friends interaction." Marshall Erickson, male secondary bro and second best friend of your narrator, noted from his chair next to her. (Oh, and let me mention, Marshall is balding…Bald-ing…Hee, hee…) "Though really, Lily, it's ok. I kinda like the idea of being all tough and politically –minded and just a little corrupt, in the story. Plus I get to be 'Randolph'. I love that name."

"Fine…" Barney sighed. "State your objection."

(Balding…Marshall is bald-wait for it-ing.)

"Withdrawn, since ma honey's stated the case so well. But not too corrupt, though he ought to have a sexy mistress named Raven who looks like me." Beam.

"No wife, at this time…Of course." Stern glare at Barney.)

"Stinson…" the shrewd, balding… ("Barney!" Lily glared. "No, it's ok, these powerful guys are always balding, like Picard." Marshall beamed. Oooh…Picard Erickson…Lily pictured.)

"I'm giving you a new murder case. The one making the headlines, as usual…You being our most awesome lieutenant of detectives."

"Naturally, Commissioner." Nod.

"The case is that, in case you've been too busy solving incredibly awesome cases, of the brutal murder of famed pioneering ad agent and career girl, one Robin Scherbatsky…"

("Honey?!" "Barney?!" Robin, Lily, Tracy. "Kids?!" they eyed the respective three Scherbatsky-Stinson and the two Erickson children who rolled eyes collectively.)