Etched Pattern

by Sakura Sango

Fingers grazed along the marks, purple eyes following his fingers' path as they traced down each mark, fingers etching an intricate pattern on the boy's arm. It seemed wrong that such a beautiful pattern had to be associated with pain and suffering.

Title: Etched Pattern.
Author: SakuraSango
Rated: PG
Pairings: Implied Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Summary: Fingers grazed along the marks, purple eyes following his fingers' path as they traced down each mark, fingers etching an intricate pattern on the boy's arm. It seemed wrong to Tsuzuki that such a beautiful patter had to be associated with pain and suffering.
A/N: Wow, ok I have no idea where this came from. It just started with a thought of Tsuzuki tracing the marks while Hisoka lied in bed. So I wrote up that scene and before I knew it, it grew into this story. Both before and after the scene.

X-x-x-
"I should be stronger than weeping alone
You should be weaker than sending me home
I can't stop you fighting to sleep
Sleep in heavenly peace"
'Silent Night' By: Damien Rice
x-x-x

Gasping Hisoka sat up quickly, blankets held up to his chin. Tears stung at his eyes as he looked around the small bedroom. Quickly his mind registered the dresser off to the left, the closed closet door to the right. The window right in front of him. He was in a room, a safe room. The sakura tree was not around. He was safe, it was just a dream. A dream!

Closing his eyes he could feel the man next to him roll over, he had awaken Tsuzuki again. Again he had had that horrid dream. Again he had to live with the pain of that night. The night when his innocence was taken and his life had been cursed.

Feeling his breathing and heart slow, the teen carefully lied down again as he looked around the room one last time. One last reassurance that the dream had been nothing but that, a dream. Emerald eyes stayed wide open staring at the ceiling before trailing over to the man lying next to him in bed.

Tsuzuki smiled gently his hand snaking our from the blankets to touch the warmed cheek next to him. Hisoka closed his eyes as he felt fingers ghost his skin. Tears welled in his eyes though they would never fall. He wouldn't allow them too. But still he wished at the same time that he could cry. He just wanted to curl up into Tsuzuki's awaiting arms and cry himself to sleep.

Sensing the turmoil in his young partner's mind Tsuzuki rose up, the blankets falling off of his lithe body. Hisoka sighed as he released the death grip on the blankets, his last lifeline to protecting the horrible marks on his body from prying eyes.

Staring into Hisoka's eyes, catching them and holding them hostage with their intensity, Tsuzuki rose to a half-haphazard sitting position, his body leaning heavily on his right arm.

Tsuzuki pushed away the blanket, his eyes never breaking contact with Hisoka's emerald eyes. Slowly he bared his partner's body, fingers splaying across the soft skin. Tips ghosting the boy's shoulder and arm.

Glancing down, Tsuzuki bit at the inside of his mouth to keep from cursing Muraki to a horrible death. How could he hurt...torture such a young boy. A boy that had just begun to live his life. Someone so young and innocent.

Fingers grazed along the marks, purple eyes following his fingers' path as they traced down each mark, fingers etching an intricate pattern on the boy's arm. It seemed wrong to Tsuzuki that such a beautiful pattern had to be associated with pain and suffering.

Fingers slid down the boy's thin arm, sliding across the crook of his elbow before heading lower. Already he could feel Hisoka calm under the touches, the silent reassurance that he would always be here.

And as the teen calmed, Tsuzuki could feel his heart slowly mend again for the night, having been broken by the boy's broken cries- as he cried for Tsuzuki, his voice breaking with fear and pain.

Tsuzuki had never told the boy about how he would scream his name after every nightmare, Tsuzuki just did not see why he had too. It didn't matter, even if he didn't scream anything Tsuzuki would always be there to sooth the aches. The deep scars. So there was no reason to make the boy uncomfortable.

Tsuzuki could remember when they had first started sleeping together, Hisoka refused to let Tsuzuki pull down the covers after such dreams. He would practically toss the shinigami out of the bed, refusing to let him back in until the marks had faded.

Slowly as time went on, Tsuzuki was able to slowly get Hisoka to warm up to him. It started small, though to him it felt like a monumental occasion, with allowing Tsuzuki to stay in the bed. Slowly it moved to uncovering and then finally the touches.

For some reason, Tsuzuki's touches seemed to help the boy relax. To allow him to fall back to sleep, his mind at ease. Though the boy would never admit to that.

Sliding to the end of the marks on his left arm Tsuzuki turned to Hisoka's right arm; his fingers following the same path, tracing the same design. He could trace it in his sleep, he had followed them enough times to know exactly the path they were to take.

Again his fingers followed down the boy's arm, purple eyes watching at how Hisoka relaxed. Slowly emerald eyes closed as breaths became deeper. Soon he would be asleep, only good dreams to come.

'No more nightmares for the night,' Tsuzuki hoped silently as he traced down the boy's arms.

Hisoka could feel his mind slipping as Tsuzuki slid down his right arm. The light touches becoming further and further away, almost as though he was slipping into a Black Hole. Closing his eyes, Hisoka focused on his breathing, his mind slipping further and further away.

Off to his side he could feel Tsuzuki shift slightly on the bed. Even without opening his eyes, he could tell what the older man was doing. They had done it enough times before. Back when Hisoka had refused to let himself relax, when he was wary of what the older man had in mind. Even though he never felt any ill-intentions Hisoka could not help but to wonder if it was a rouse to get him to 'loosen up enough' to have a wild romp. But over time he slowly realized that the touches were just to sooth the boy and nothing else.

And while he still did not like being touched he had to admit that the touches did sooth him. And that they did help him to sleep soundly afterwards. Which was heavenly bliss after the nightmares of that fateful night with Muraki.

Sighing Hisoka turned his head to the side, his cheek resting on the soft pillow under him. Already he could feel his body slipping away being swallowed up, only to be cradled gently in sleep.

Tsuzuki glanced up from the wrist that he had traced when he had heard the light sigh. A gentle smile crossed the man's face as he watched his partner's face soften. Even in sleep he never got to see this relaxed face. It pained him every time he saw the pain that crossed Hisoka's face while sound asleep. The one time that he should have relief from pain, and it still was not granted to him. Only when Tsuzuki traced the marks with light touches did he get true relief.

Shifting lightly, careful to not disturb Hisoka, Tsuzuki rose to his knees sliding along Hisoka's side, clothed legs brushing against Hisoka's bare side.

Starting at collarbone Tsuzuki slowly traced the design on the boy's chest. Fingers ghosted the soft flesh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Fingers rounded around the corners, tracing the boxes, while silently wondering what they meant to Muraki. There were a few that looked like words, but Tsuzuki had always wondered if they really were words or just part of the intricate design. Maybe they really meant nothing.

'No,' Tsuzuki reminded himself, 'they do mean something to Hisoka. Even if the meaning is not carved onto his flesh, it is carved into his mind.' That was why he did this every time.

No matter how little sleep he had, Tsuzuki never rushed the process. Even long after Hisoka had fallen asleep, his mind already occupied with sweet dreams. Tsuzuki never skimped on a design or touch. He couldn't. It was the only way that he could help Hisoka! The only way! That was why he did it every time, even several times a night.

And no matter how long it took, even if it never ended Tsuzuki would never stop. Not as long as it helped Hisoka. Even if they broke up and went their own ways he would still be right there on the doorstep waiting for Hisoka to let him in.

The deeply colored marks were slowly fading, the reminder of the horrible dream slowly fading away. Fading away to hide until they were needed again. Until they decided to rear their ugly heads.

Fingers traced down Hisoka's chest and towards his stomach. Leaning down Tsuzuki closed his eyes, his mind's eye retracing the marks, the path they ran down the boy's skin. Bending further down Tsuzuki pressed his lips against a raging mark, his lips trying to help sooth them away.

Gasping Hisoka whimpered airily as he was pulled further into the dreams. Fingers twitched lightly, wanting to stroke the brown hair that tickled his chest, to card through the thick soft strands. Yet they remained on the bed, deciding to act on another day. He knew there would be more nights like these, there always were.

Fingers slid along Hisoka's stomach twisting and turning in a confusing pattern, yet knowing exactly where to go without any thought. They had taken this course enough times. It was just like driving to work while half asleep, somehow the path was just known.

Pulling his lips away Tsuzuki stared at the marks on the boy's chest. He was beautiful, there was no denying that. Anyone who did was a fool or blind. Tsuzuki knew just how beautiful Hisoka was, with or without the marks. Sighing he leaned back down, his lips ghosting over the marks on along his collarbone.

Fingers slid down until they reached the waistband of low riding pajama pants. Pulling away they fell onto the bed, on Hisoka's side, holding Tsuzuki up as he kissed his way along some of the marks.

Sliding along the sheets, Tsuzuki felt his fingers ghost along Hisoka's side, not following any marks but instead just wanting to feel his younger partner's body. Fingers splayed out over the flat, soft stomach, the tips playing with the soft skin. Sometimes he forgot just how young Hisoka really was, how young his body felt.

Closing his eyes, Tsuzuki tried to keep his thoughts clean, he didn't want to rush the boy. He had read the boy's file and talked to Hisoka during the long nights. He knew the hell that Muraki had put him through, and it had made him not completely willing for anything further then the light touches.

And while it was hard for him, Tsuzuki had decided early on he could wait. He would lie there beside his lover and wait until he was ready. Nothing would be gained if he rushed. Instead all that he had gained would be lost. So Tsuzuki had agreed to himself that he would wait for the right time.

Slowly he pulled away, purple eyes staring into his partner's face. All the lines of pain and torment were gone, replaced with a small smile. Brushing away the blonde strands away from his face, Tsuzuki smiled as he felt his heart swell with happiness. As long as Hisoka was happy, he was happy. And as long as he could help he would.

Tugging up the blanket, he slowly re-covered the boy, sliding the soft, cotton material up to his chin.

Hisoka muttered lightly in his sleep, his words jumbled and slurring slightly, before settling back into a deep sleep.

Smiling again Tsuzuki bent down, kissing Hisoka's forehead lightly before lying back down. Lying there in the moonlight filled room, Tsuzuki watched as his young lover slept, his chest slowly rising and falling. He could lie here all night watching the boy sleep.

Scooting closer to him, Tsuzuki brought Hisoka into his arms, cradling the boy as if to protect him from any further nightmares. Slowly his eyes slid shut, as he cradled the boy close to him. The both of them slipping off to a peaceful sleep.

X-x-x-

And I'm done. Haha don't ask where this came from like I said before it just came and I had to write it. So how was it? Was it worth a review? A concrit? Feel free to tell how you think it was...