"I don't know what to do, tell me what to do!" April Kepner paced the attending's lounge distractedly, coffee in hand and gesturing wildly.
"Ah, Kepner, tackling the conundrum-of-the-day with your regular freak out are we?"
Christina Yang, formerly a resident surgeon of Grey Sloan Memorial and current cardio fellow at The Mayo Clinic, popped up on Merdeith Grey's ipad, munching a cookie and looking only mildly interested in what was going on.
"So…April's promised Jesus that she's gonna re-virginize, and she's looked Justin Timberlake in the eye and told him she's ready to recommit."
Meredith Grey took entirely too much pleasure in updating her best friend of the latest hospital gossip, April thought resentfully as Yang dissolved into a cackling fit.
"You see Yang, you don't get it, J.C and J.T both have a stake in this now, she can't let them down."
This time it was Alex Karev, paeds fellow, dubbed "evil spawn" by Christina Yang and usually the bane of April's existence, who butted in from the couch, half asleep.
"Yeah, even though J.A – dammit all to hell- is a damn fine specimen and April can't stop fantasizing about his rippling abs."
Meredith continued, while Karev snickered.
"You know Kepner, you should think about giving this guy A.K a try, pretty sure he could put J.C. JT and J.A all to shame."
Karev cracked one eye open, wriggling his eyebrow suggestively and making both Christina and Meredith crack up.
April glared. "That's it, no more talking in initials and-"
"I don't know, evil spawn, have you seen that Jesus guy shirtless though, I mean he's always flaunting it about. Talk about some washboard abs."
Christina interrupted April's outburst, looking thoughtful.
"Come to think of it, no wonder Kepner's so obsessed with him. I'd jump his bones any day."
"Christina!" April sputtered. "That- that's – that is…is blasphemy! "You"- she pointed a finger at the cardio attending's face, her own face scrunched up in disgust – "are going straight to hell!"
"Oh, I have no doubt, I hear I'm on their VIP list."
Of course, only Yang would have the audacity to actually look proud while making a statement like that. April huffed, having had enough of the three other attendings and turning around to head towards the door. She stopped short in her tracks when Jackson suddenly walked in, gym bag in one hand and iced tea in the other.
"Well, speak of the devil…" murmered Mer, and April turned around again to shoot the trio of friends her death glare, daring them to say something.
"Ooh, ooh, Mer, I need a good view, I need a good view, hold me up!"
At the sound of Christina's unmistakable voice coming through from the ipad, April gritted her teeth, desperately searching for a way to skip the awkwardness that was about to ensue. Jackson's gaze, which had been trained on April so far, thankfully focused on Christina at that point and April grabbed at the moment to quickly make her exit.
Jackson, rolling his eyes internally at April's not so inconspicuous avoidance tactics – he'd been trying to catch her eye all day yesterday, in fact, and she'd been giving him the slip – bent down to greet the cardio attending at eye level while walking into the room.
"Sup Yang, what's the body count so far?"
"So far? Zero, zilch, nada. I am Cardio-God. Bow before me, mere mortal."
Jackson really did roll his eyes this time, cracking a grin at Yang's unabashed arrogance and walking over to the table to pick up some of his patient files while dropping his gym bag carelessly on the floor.
"And by the way, Avery, boy do you and Kepner need to sort out your issues."
Christina, of course, wasted no time in getting straight to the point and Jackson looked up from the file he had been flipping through, instantly on the defensive.
"Yeah? 'Cuz you and Hunt are doing so good?" He fired back, and Yang actually looked taken aback, having been caught by surprise.
Truth was that hospital gossip was quick to spread, and if everyone knew by now that there was something going on between him and April, then Yang shouldn't be surprised at all by the fact that people have been talking about her and Hunt.
"Touche, Avery, touché."
"Bet Kepner thinks I'm hot too." Alex said suddenly, and Jackson looked at the other man, frowning.
"What?"
"I mean, she did almost end up giving her virginity to me"
Alex continued, ignoring Jackson and feigning a look of being deep in thought - an obvious ploy to ruffle Jackson's feathers, to which Christina caught on almost instantly.
"Oh yeah, remember when Kepner almost let Karev deflower her?" She piped up gleefully, making Mer chuckle and Alex guffaw loudly.
Jackson scowled, uncharacteristically losing his cool in the face of the usual ribbing he got from the three other surgeons.
"Don't even think about it Karev."
He muttered darkly to the paeds fellow before snatching up his files and striding out of the attending's lounge, frown still attached firmly to his forehead.
He kept an eye out for April as he went about his day, getting more and more impatient as he caught no sight of her. Ever since he had blown up at her about "trying to pretend like they never happened" and Mer had caught on to their little act in the OR, April had made it a point to avoid him like he was the SARS virus
And he would be lying if he said that it wasn't getting increasingly frustrating. He didn't like that things were still unresolved between them, he needed closure. He wasn't used to being around April and not talking to her. The problem though was that every time he so much as looked at her, his mind flashed back to a certain men's hotel bathroom in San Francisco.
And that's all it took.
Every little thing she did after that started to look sensual, and before he knew it he was fantasizing about her in lying in bed beneath him. It didn't make it any easier that every night for the past few months since she had left for Moline, that one particular image had taunted at him, leaving him wide awake in the middle of the night with a raging hard-on.
He turned a corner and suddenly saw her unmistakeable form disappear into the attending's lounge and hurried up to go inside before anyone else snuck up on them.
Closing the door shut behind him, he saw her glance up casually and stiffen at the sight of him.
"Hey, so, um – I know we haven't talked much lately –" she began lamely, but Jackson didn't give her the chance to finish.
"So, we need to figure this out."
He said abruptly, sparing no time for small talk. "Because, this – he gestured between them – "isn't happening anymore. I mean, do you want us to be friends, April, or-"
"Of course!" She exclaimed, interrupting him. "Of course I want us to be friends! We are friends Jackson."
She was earnest, but contradicted her words by her actions by instinctively taking a step back from Jackson when he took a step towards her.
"Okay…" Jackson said slowly, maintaining eye contact with her, purposely not letting her look away.
"So then this…other thing…between us…" he dragged out the words, and April swallowed.
"I- yes." She cleared her throat.
"A-about that." She swallowed, clamping her lips shut and shifting from one foot to the other.
Jackson raised an eyebrow. "You wanna finish that sentence April?
"I-um – I can't be around you…without – without – thinking- about - about whathappenedinseattleandeverything."
His mouth curved upwards, but he didn't comment on her amazing fast-talking skills.
"Me too." He was still maintaining eye contact with her though, and she was looking at him with those wide eyes and he knew exactly where her mind was at, because his mind was at the same place.
April closed her eyes, shutting him out. Looking at him was doing things to her, and her mind kept going back to how he looked, naked.
Not. Good.
"Um, um so, yeah, I can't really do that with you, because, because, Jesus, you know, and-"
"I know." His voice was soft, and she opened her own, looking at him with what he thought was something close to regret, but he couldn't be sure.
"S-so, um…what do we do?"
"We stay away from each other." Jackson answered, even though his eyes said something else entirely, goading her to debunk his plan, daring her to look away.
But she didn't, and he felt a sinking feeling as she took longer and longer to respond.
His eyes strayed to her lips while he waited for her to say something, and he licked his own, remembering how hers felt, unable to stop himself from fantasizing.
"I – I think that would work."
Jackson glanced back up, a bit jarred by the determination in her voice.
"You do." He said flatly, wary of hearing what was to come next.
"Yes." She bounced on the balls of her feet. "We- we stay away from each other, this – this – thing – between us goes away – we get back to normal, it can be like it was before again. It'll be fine!"
She was sounding a little too optimistic, a little too cheery for his liking, and he couldn't help coming back with a little dig.
"So you still want to pretend nothing happened or-"
She blushed, and Jackson felt a rush of satisfaction. Good, he wanted her to feel a bit guilty. He couldn't deny that it had hurt, when she had started babbling about revirginizing and wiping the slate clean. He didn't want it to be clean, he wanted his mark there, it had it's rightful place there, and her denying it wasn't going to make it magically disappear.
"No, it happened, I know it happened, and I'm not pretending it didn't happen." She said quietly.
"Good."
"But." She continued, and he closed his eyes, sighing.
He felt a tap on his chest, and opened his eyes back up to see her staring up at him defiantly, a fire to her that hadn't been there before.
"But, you - you never called me, never wrote, never said a word after I left. Not once. I mean, I didn't either, fair enough, but neither did you! Which means that I'm not the only one who pretended that nothing happened, so did you! And you were completely fine with maintaining that silence. Completely."
Her voice was flat, and he didn't have a comeback for a minute.
"I'm willing to bet you'd never have contacted me if I hadn't shown up at this place anyway."
She paused. "Would you have?"
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
She turned to leave, but he grabbed at her arm, stopping her. He hadn't thought this through, hadn't even thought what to say, but he couldn't have her thinking he'd never have called her. Truth is, he didn't know what he would have done, because she had decided to show up.
"No wait – no, I didn't say that."
He sighed.
"Look, you're right okay, I didn't think of it that way. And I'm sorry, I am, I'm sorry I didn't call you, but truth is that I didn't know what to think, alright? I wanted you to wait for me and you weren't there, so I thought you had wiped your hands off us and left. Didn't want to be reminded of what had happened, wanted to leave it all behind. And so I left you alone."
"And I was a mess, April."
He was pacing now, one hand grazing his shaven head as he looked down at the floor with the characteristic frown between his brows.
"Mark had died, suddenly I didn't want to leave for Tulane, I wanted to continue with what Mark had taught me…it just, I was just getting back into the swing of things when you showed up, and that threw me for a loop all over again."
He looked up.
"I'm sorry." He said sincerely, this time, and April nodded, a feeling of sadness sweeping through her.
"Me too." She smiled a bit, and he smiled back.
She touched his arm. "And I'm sorry about Mark, I thought he'd be fine, you know, I'd never have left if I thought –
"I know."
They kept smiling at each other until the tension started seeping back in, and suddenly that old feeling of easy camaraderie was lost, leaving just the sexual tension behind.
"Right, well, I better – " she said lamely, and he nodded, swallowing, letting her slip past him out the door and massaging the knot in his neck that had refused to go away since she had come back.
So basically, this fic's gonna be an uncomplicated, hassle-free, light-weight sorta deal…a lot of cutesy stuff and probably not a lot of depth, lol. I'm honestly not really feeling japril right now, because the finale was a bummer, but I figure I gotta dip my toes in again somehow. Also...it probably won't be that long...maybe 3 chapters max, I made sure to have almost all of it written this time so I'll be able to update regularly and won't make you guys wait ;) lol. I know I have a bad track record of doing that. Anyway, hope you enjoy and please leave a review!