She watched him out of the corner of her eye, making sure that he wasn't about to mentally collapse on her.
It was a special day, special being used in the worst sense.
It was the day she died.
He had always spent the day alone, and she had always let him, because to tell the truth, it hurt. It hurt because Aeris was prettier than she was, sweeter than she was, and gentler than she was. Hell, she had even been thinner than Tifa, though Tifa wasn't as much of a sissy.
And he…
He'd been impossible not to fall in love with.
And despite telling herself that she was over him, that he was a selfish bastard who didn't care for anyone but the dead…she still cared for him.
It had faded, the hurt, the feeling of betrayal. She remembered when it was fresh, when the realization hit her that he wasn't in love with her.
It was strange, how easily one can misinterpret the smallest of actions. Disinterest? It could be a sign of hidden emotion. A smile? It could be a sign of true love.
But a girl could only fool herself for so long, and when she'd died…
He'd been devastated.
She watched him recede from her, falling slowly out of line as they all scattered after the final battle.
She'd called him, over and over again. Sure, you don't answer your phone, but I don't see you throw it away! She'd clung to that hope, that though he wasn't answering, he was still listening. She'd tried to bring him back to her, in so many ways. She'd stopped hating Aeris, it was no use to hate the dead, but she had come to a heart-stopping conclusion.
I can't replace her.
He doesn't want me.
Even when she was gone, he still didn't want her.
But she wouldn't let go of him.
And slowly, as she watched him suffer, watched him reborn, and welcomed him back with sweet open arms, she had realized something else.
It was all right now.
She didn't need him to want her, didn't need him to fall in love with her.
So she helped him, helped him find a place in life, helped him become something of an older brother to the orphaned children they'd cured together so recently. She helped him see how beautiful the world was, and she expected little in return.
She would be there for him, whether he wanted her or not.
And so today, she hadn't even called him—she'd just shown up at his doorstep, ignored how sexy his hair looked when he had just woken up, and told him she was spending the day with him.
He hadn't protested.
They hadn't done anything special. She just didn't want him to be alone. She'd helped him clean, because his place was a mess, and she'd mended one of his jackets where it had gotten torn. She'd carefully ignored how close he was, the smell of him, his tired blue eyes, his painfully bright smile.
She'd ignored how good his body felt so close to hers when she'd gotten on behind him on his bike, ignored how good they looked walking into shops, pretended not to notice every time he accidentally brushed against him.
It was hard, but then, life was hard. She would do it for him, so that he would come out of his shell and live his life like the rest of them were doing.
They'd saved the world together—it was a shame not to enjoy it.
Cloud Strife, she thought leaving him with a hug at the end of the day. If you can't love me, if there's nothing I can do…
Then I guess I'll be your friend.