You are probably wondering why I found it so awkward to be in close proximity alone with Ginny while we were getting ready for Bill and Fleur's wedding. Wouldn't you like to know. Oh right. You would. That's why you're reading this. Ha!
I can't even begin to explain. I'm just gonna say it involves a couple Vampires, a Warlock, and Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Sorry. I couldn't resist. It was just too easy. In case you're wondering, I, Harry James Potter, am a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. Sad isn't it?
All right, all right. It really involves, erm… I'd tell you if Ron weren't reading over my shoulder. But he is. So you're not getting anything out of me. At all. So bite me.
Thank god, Hermione came in and dragged him away before he had me decapitated. Or rather, castrated with a fork, or dull spoon. Wow. That actually sounds really painful. And Ginny'd kill him. I don't know why he's making such a huge deal about it. I mean, we are engaged and do live together. Of course, he thinks we sleep in different rooms, so I guess he's still really naïve. But he can't be. He's shagging Hermione all the time.
It's actually quite disturbing. I used the key they gave me to their flat and when I opened the door, you could hear them going at it. Needless to say, I closed the door instantaneously and didn't come back until I owled first.
What was I talking about? Oh right. When Gin and I were first going out. Heh…
It really involved, erm… random, or not so, disrobement and other things to that nature.
Oh shit. Ron read that.
"Yes! All right, Ron! I've shagged your little sister! Happy now?" Maybe I shouldn't have yelled that. Oh holy mother of Jesus, he's got a beaters bat! Help me!
Thank you, Gin. I knew I loved you. She scared him off by, wow this is awkward, by throwing a box of condoms at him. Why am I awkward about writing in my own journal? Oh, who knows. Hermione came in and grabbed him by the ear. And she has fake nails, so I think his ear won't be regaining feeling for a while. Poor fucker. Stupid one, but I do feel somewhat sorry for him. Ginny tells me Hermione isn't above cruel and unusual punishment. I don't know how she defines 'cruel and unusual' but I'm pretty sure it involves the Imperius Curse and a bedroom. Oh that poor, poor man.