Have you ever?
A/N – This is GL's toy-box I just play in it!
Summary- Jag's thoughts during parts of iDark Journey/i and iRebel Dream/i skipping some parts in between. Might be a little AU I honestly havn't read the books in forever so I don't remember a lot of what happened at this perticular point.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever
Have you ever
Jag Fel sat across from the beauty known as Jaina Solo at the banquet in the Hapan court. She looked miserable but beautiful just the same. She displayed a beautiful strapless red dress. It flared out at the hips and it hugged her petite form showing off every curve on the young woman's body. It was just one of the many reasons he loved her. She was beautiful in every way. She had spunk and she was stubborn. She could almost out-fly him on some occations but they were evenly matched in talent.
He loved her so much. He knew that much. He had probably fallen in love with her that day on Ithor. She knocked him off his feet
But she didn't love him. She was too busy to be in a relationship with anyone let alone love someone besides family. Which he wasn't even sure how their relationship was. Jaina was staying in the palace while her family stayed with the refugees. Although both the Solos were offered residence in the Hapan palace, Leia however, declined feeling it was her duty to stay with the refugees. Jaina took up the offer for some reason wanting to be away from her family even with the recent death of the two Solo sons.
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away
You'd give anything, oh
To make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
He couldn't actually say how he felt for two reasons. One with Jaina going dark as Kyp had put it, he was purely afraid of her. With Kyp's tales of what she could do with the force he did not want to be on her bad side, although he feared he already was. Every time they had a confrontation it ended in some sort of yelling or arguing. The second reason was he was scared of expressing his feelings, which was going to be so new to him, and then being rejected. His ego, being the size or a normal fighter jock's, would be badly bruised. He didn't care, although it would ruin his reputation to the point of no return, he would at least never be left wondering if she would or wouldn't have loved him or even shown affection back.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever
Oh
He often tried to be kind. After all he had lost three siblings himself and understood fully how it felt. Jaina however seemed to think no one understood, that no one could relate. Many people could. They had lost brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, the list could go on forever. There are so many people who want to help her but she always refuses. He could understand to some extent why she felt that way. She was a Jedi. She could feel her brothers die. It didn't make it less of a loss for him when he had lost Davin, Chak, and Cherith though. Even if she doesn't know, he couldn't stop loving her.
Have you ever found the one
You dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait
For the day when they will care
It was something he could not stop doing. He would love her always. He knew she was perfect for him.
iBut she doesn't love me/i him he reminded himself. He stayed up at night wondering about her. She had left Hapes with Kyp. iIf I had taken the chance to tell her how I felt would she reciprocate the feelings/i
Have you ever loved somebody
(So much)
So much
(Makes you cry)
Makes you wanna break down and cry
(Somethin' so bad)
So, so bad
(Sleep at night)
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't
(Come out right)
Oh, have you ever
Have you ever, ever, ever
iBattle of Borleias/i
A Vong warship closed in on him. It was over his only hope is he would die fighting rather than give up completely. iJaina/i Two X-Wings roared over me. It was Jaina and Kyp. i What does she think she's doing? She and Kyp can get killed! Well I guess anyone could but now that Jaina has the Goddes role to play she cant risk her life. Yet she came back. Maybe she does care. /i His heart leaped with joy at the thought. It was the only thing that kept him going for the remainder of the battle.
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cause baby, I can't sleep
Jaina looked beat. Jag and Jaina were both lead to General Antilles' office. Jaina was here for one reason; he was here for another. Jaina was here to be reprimanded; he was mostly likely here to be congratulated. He wondered why she did it. i It's now or never buddy ask her /i "I need to talk to you. Privately"
She looked up slightly shaken but answered quietly "There's a little conference room down the corridor."
That would be good no one would notice our absence "That'll do." She got up looking horrified. iShe thinks I'm going to yell at her./i
They approached the conference room and he pushed the door open, let her walk past and closed it behind her and himself.
"I know what you're going to say." She said cringing slightly her eyes seemed to shimmer, probably from tears threatening to spill.
iShe thinks I'm going to yell at her and I'm afraid she's going to yell at me. That is if she didn't save me for the reason I think she did/i "I don't think you do." He collected his thoughts unaware that she was speaking. She choked up trying so hard not to let the river of tears come forth behind her wall hiding her emotions. He caught up to what she was saying and answered calmly "No. We both know your command decisions were far afield of common sense and effective strategy. We don't even have to discuss that. What I have to know…" he took a deep breath and stepped closer to her gathering all his courage ihere we go/i "What I ihave/i to know is this: Why did you do it?"
"I…I…" He finally saw the tears begin to spill, her answer just a mumble. It broke his heart to see the woman he loved cry, especially when he was the cause of the tears. "Everyone is going away. They keep going away and I can't stop it." The last part of her jumble of words he had to strain to hear "I didn't want you to go away." ishe/i does ifeel something /i He did the only thing he could think to do, he pulled her into his arms letting her lean on him as she cryed. He could feel the tears soaking into his uniform and he rested is head on hers, gently stoking her hair.
"I won't go anywhere" iI promise/i he added silently to himself.
She lifted her head slightly "Why?"
i what/i "Why what?"
"Why won't you go anywhere?"
i It's now or never./i "Because I don't want to." He leaned down and kissed her. It was the most wonderful experience of his life. The best part was, she leaned into the kiss accepting it wholeheartedly. She smiled slightly into the kiss. It was all going to be ok.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you (have you, have you ever needed) ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever
He hadn't seen Jaina in days. The next times he saw her was after another battle to defend Borleias. Since the stike team got back from Courascant alive and since Lando was Lando, he would have a huge party with pre-invation brandy. He was going to ask Jaina to join him. He had to figure out a way to ask her without seeming like he was asking her out - so to speak. She walked towards him and asked "What's up?"
Calrissian got back from Coruscant alive so Calrissian being Calrissian, he throwing a party for family and friends. And friends of friends, and anyone who looks interesting. He said he has pre-invasion brandy. Care to go?" She turned to think. i does she not want to go? Is she reconsidering our relationship/i
"Love to." She linked her arm through his and the new couple walked down to Calrissian's party.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever, ever, ever
Oh, have you ever