HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!! Oh yeah, I almost forgot... ETC!!! Guess what? I
am far too happy.... I am absolutely ecstatic to the trillionth power! It's
amazing what a few songs by Cledus T. Judd and a little plastic Duo Maxwell
can do for your mood... I'm about to do my first fanfic written to a song.
Hehehe... A whole series starting out with a few chapters written to songs.
Well, this one's gonna be written to Cledus T. Judds 'Christmas'. Um... The
next few paragraphs are warnings and the cast listing and stuff.
By the way... This might contain just a teeeeeeeny bit of Shounen Ai and Yaoi. There's some language too. It, if successful, will also contain enough comedy to make you fall off your seat. So now it's time for Christmas, Gundam Wing style!
// // = Songs lyrics
= Thoughts
Partial Cast Listing
= career, () = authors notes
Quarter Rhubarb Loser Owner of a Large Business - Quatre Raberba Winner
Trowel Carton Hardware Store Owner - Trowa Barton
Heero Yuy (I couldn't think of anything all that great for Heeros name) Um... He's Heero - Heero Yuy
Gufei (Pronounced goofy) Train Railroad Tycoon - Wufei Chang
Duo Maxwell (His name is absolutely perfect, just like the rest of him. Well, that and I couldn't think of anything good for his name.) Owner of a Coffee Company - Duo Maxwell
Silly Mo Strange Hillbilly Girl - Sally Po
Tubarsuv Sohope owner of a soap company, Doves main competitor - Tubarov
Coward a terrified person - Howard
Doggy Stay mad dog trainer - Doctor J
Munster Scarpian rejected Munster - Minister Darlian
Auto Man lost in Oz with Dorothy - Otto
Miller owner of the Miller beer company - Muller
Trace ShishKebab Stencil Maker And World-Famous Chef - Treize
Mallard Pieceocrap / Stretch Markings A Fat Duck - Milliardo Peacecraft / Zechs Merquise
Reelina (Pronounced reel in a) Pieceocrap A Stupid And Annoying Bitch - Relena Peacecraft
The Duke of Earl The Duke of Earl - Duke Dermail
Brady One Android Designed to Look Like One of The Brady Bunch - Lady Une
Ihatesya (Pronounced I hates ya) Boing Bouncy Cereal Killer - Lucrezia Noin
Stillday Ornight Not-Very-Intelligent Clock Maker - Hilde
Radish MukramaLeader of The Backpack - Rashid
Caffeine Owner of Cocaine Cola - Catherine
Please don't sue me if I made a huge amount of mispellings! I got some spellings from other peoples fanfics, some from toy boxes, some I just guessed at, etc.
Gundams
All of the gundams have retained their names 'cause I haven't been able to think of anything for 'em.
Here we go!
Quarter drove towards Wal Mart as fast as he could. "Ugh... Wow, look at how fast I'm going. A whole two miles an hour! I'm really flying now!" He said, his voice absolutely drenched in sarcasm. Well... I guess it's worth it, as long as I get something really great for Trowel. And of course the other guys, too! He thought to himself with a slight blush. "I could just get him a tie or something." The blond boy laughed at that thought.
// I don't want another fruit cake,
I don't need another ugly tie, no//
Quarter finally arrived at the large store and got out of his car. "Crap... Why did I have to wait until the last minute? I guess it's cause of work... Those bastards... Erm, I mean, those nice gentleman FINALLY decided to close my deal, but only as long as I was there. Half way across the world. For an entire MONTH!!! I don't know why it took a month to sign a piece of paper. I guess they must have had a hell of a time getting a translator willing to read them the fine print." The boy ran towards the front doors. "Well, I normally wouldn't even consider doing this... I wouldn't even consider this under extreme conditions! But this is worse than extreme. It's Christmas! So I'll do it."
//Heard they had a sale on go-carts,
down at Wal-Mart, ho ho, goodbye//
Quarter pulled out the small handgun and postal workers cap from his pocket. He put the cap on his head and ran inside with the gun. "I'm a postal worker! Everybody get down on the ground, now!" He noticed everyone was already on the ground, and was immediately approached by several REAL postal workers. Oh, great, they're gonna kill me. One of them slapped him on the back and said "They won't dare mess with us now. Just us 6 and someone might have been brave enough to try something. But with 7, we're perfectly fine. Now let's get everything we need and get out of here fast!" Quarter went off to find some appropriate gifts. He first encountered a gun display. "Hmmm... Heero was drooling over this gun last week." Quarter picked up the gun and went on to the toy section. He was about to pass right on by when he noticed a model train. "Gufei'd probably like that..." Quarter picked up the large box. "It's got three trains, some pretty big railroads, and a lot of other stuff. Seems perfect for Gufei."
Quarter ran throughout the entire store and picked out a go-cart for Duo. "HEY! I've got it! I could just not get Trowel anything and tell him I'M His present!" One of the postal workers approached the frustrated boy and said "I'd get him something if I was you." Quarter continued wandering about. "Weird. I've been with the guy for just over a year and I have no idea what to get him. What did I get him last year? Oh yeah... I got him... Oh. Hehe. I got him a large supply of whipped cream..." His face turned bright red. "He put it to good use, too." Many aisles later, he spotted something he thought would suffice. "A mirror! He spends a lot of time on his hair, and all he has is that little microscopic mirror... If I got him a really big one, it'd be a lot easier for him to comb his hair." The young blond grabbed the mirror and then put everything in a shopping cart nearby. "I can't believe I carried that all around."
//Got no money in my pocket,
can't believe it's Christmas time//
He pushed the cart towards the front door and then remembered Reelina. "That stupid bitch, I can't believe she tried to come between Heero and Duo. I think I'll get her something she'll remember for a long time." Something caught Quarters attention out of the corner of his eyes. "Perfect." He placed it in the cart and pushed it to his car with a grin on his face.
Quarter was stuck in traffic yet again. "Hurry up... Not only do I have to worry about the police, but I have to get this stuff wrapped before the other guys get back. Then again, with the traffic going this slow, I can give Reelina her present very accurately. I can't believe I just robbed Wal Mart. Anyways... There it is!" The car moved forward a few more feet and Quarter had a perfect view of the building Reelina was currently in, signing some sort of peace treaty or something. Quarter reached into the back seat of the car and pulled out the rocket launcher he had seen in the gun section. "Wal Mart sure does have everything a person could need..." Quarter aimed carefully and blew a chunk out of the bottom of the building, and it collapsed in on itself. Quarter smiled and then went back to watching the road in front of him. The unmoving road in front of him.
//It's the crowds that bug me,
stuck in traffic like this//
After Quarter had finished wrapping what he had 'bought' and the other gundam pilots had gotten to the home in which they all five lived there was a phone call. Heero picked up the receiver and said "Hello." He listened to the whiney voice on the other end and slammed the receiver down. "Reelina just called and said the building she was in blew up and collapsed on itself. Apparently she got away with just a broken leg. She wanted to know if I knew who had caused that." Quarter laughed. The other four stared at him in surprise. "Quarter? You did that? I didn't think you had it in you!" Trowel exclaimed. "It was just an early Christmas present. A little surprise for her." A 6 year old boy ran into the room. "Daddy! Uncle Quarter made me go to my room, and I wasn't even doing anything!" He said as he hugged Duo. "What's wrong with you, kid? I'm not your dad! Heero is." Heero glared at Duo, attempting unsuccessfully to be angry with his lover. "Well, I guess that would make you his mother, wouldn't it, Duo?" He asked, and his question was met with an equally unsuccessful glare, and then Duo stuck his tongue out at Heero.
//It's kids causing a commotion,
it's shop at your own risk//
"Why does that kid seem to think we're his family?" Trowel queried. Quarter shrugged and then replied with "Well, he doesn't have a family, so I guess that would mean we are kind of his family. We're all he has." Duo and Heero sighed. "Great." Heero muttered as he foresaw Quarters next words. "And..." Quarter began. "Since he seems to like you two so much, you get to be his parents." Trowel grinned at the disgusted look on Duos face. Duo sighed and mumbled "Well, yeah, whatever. Fine. But he's gonna have two fathers, 'cause I'm sure as hell not going to be his mom. I'll go buy the kid a Tickle Me Elmo or something."
//It's that Tickle Me Elmo,
it's, dang, unfindable//
Duo saw the traffic and ran to the garage. He opened up the trap door in the floor and practically flew down the stairs. He jumped into the Deathscythes cockpit. "Screw the car. I'll get there faster in my gundam." Duo pulled a small remote from his pocket and pressed the round blue button in the middle. The garage lifted up into the air and Deathscythe jumped out of the basement. The garage went back to its original position. Duo flew to Wal Mart, but after seeing how many cars were parked in the parking lot, he flew over to Target. "Not as many people here. I'll just run in, buy something, and go back home." Duo landed in front of the store and hopped out of the gundam. "And now to find something for the kid." I can't help feeling sorry for him. I was in the same position he's in. Well, except for the fact that now he's got two great parents like me and Heero. After all, who wouldn't be jealous of the kid, getting the priveledge of having me for his dad?
//Christmas Christmas. Unshoppable.
Christmas Christmas.//
Duo ran all throughout the store, but couldn't find anything at all that he could buy for the kid. "Jeez, no wonder everyone's at Wal Mart. They cleaned out Target already." Duo walked back to the Deathscythe, thinking about where to go next. He didn't want to go to Wal Mart, with the huge crowd that was no doubt running around inside grabbing everything they could before someone else got to it. Duo got back into his gundam and flew to several other stores before giving up and going to Wal Mart.
//It can make a fellow uptight,
I must have been to 15 stores or more//
Hmmm.... Well, at least their shelves aren't completely bare. Duo ran through the store and got to the toy section. "Kids... Why can't they ever want something useful, like a gun or something? Nooooooo... Gotta have toys. OOOOOOOOOHHH!!! I WANT ONE!!!" Duo screamed as he ran towards the last remaining go-cart. "DAMN IT! I can't afford it right now... And besides, I'm supposed to be buying for other people right now." Duo sighed and looked for something his... Hmmm... Well, I guess he's my son now. He was looking for something for his son. "Light Brite? Never heard of it, but I guess I'll get one." Duo read the name of a toy off a sign hanging above the aisle. He walked down the aisle, but couldn't find anything called a Light Brite. A woman approached him. "Are you looking for a Light Brite?" She asked him. He nodded in response. "I saw someone buy the last one last night."
//All I wanted was a Light Brite
but they sold out, last night, of course//
"Great....." Duo sighed and shook his head in despair. "Out doing some last minute shopping for your kids, huh? I know how it feels." The woman sympathized. "Yeah, well, don't get the wrong idea or anything, I mean I'm not straight or anything! The kid was homeless, and we, meaning me and my BOYFRIEND, found
him, and he just started following us around everywhere calling me dad, and after a while we just gave up."
The woman laughed. Duo asked her what kind of thing he should look for. "Why don't you buy a swing set or something?" She suggested. Duo asked where he could find one, and the lady told him she had seen some a few aisles down. Duo thanked her and went off to find a swing set. He finally found a large box containing a swing set. Duo grabbed the box, and just before he went to the front to buy it, he remembered to check the price. The braided shoppers face contorted into a look of horror as he read the pricetag. "Three hundred dollars?!? But.... That's almost all the money I have! Kids... They just have to have the most expensive things they can get. Couldn't I just get the kid some playboy magazines or something?" Duo sighed as he gave in. "Fine. I'll buy the damn swing set."
//'Time I buy my kids a swing set,
I'll be broke forever more//
Duo had hidden the swing set in the basement and was now inside the house. The other gundam pilots saw that he looked rather pissed off, and only Heero dared to ask him how it went. "Have fun?" He asked, raising his left eyebrow and giving a slight smile. Duo plopped down on the couch and screamed. He screamed for several minutes before finally talking. "Next time we have a kid, tell me long before Christmas. I had all my Christmas shopping done in September, thinking I was soooo clever and wouldn't have to deal with that last minute Christmas shopping. But noooo, of course not, just before Christmas I find out we have a kid. I don't like kids anymore..." Heero sat next to the stewing chestnut haired boy who was busy glaring angrily at the young boy trying to hide behind Quarter. Heero pulled Duos head to the right so he was looking him right in the eyes. "Next time I'll do the last minute shopping, okay?" Heero offered before kissing Duo passionately. Duo laughed. "I should probably do it. That way the other customers wont be getting a complimentary bullet in the head. Oh, damn, I forgot to buy something for you, Heero. I guess I'm your present!" Quarter stifled a laugh. "Hey, that was my idea!" Duo ran into his and Heeros bedroom and came back with a large square box that just barely fit through the doorway. "Why haven't I seen that before, if you had it in our room?" Heero asked, surprised. Duo grinned. "I just hid it in the closet behind some clothes that didn't have any spandex or tank tops. I knew you'd never find it there." Heero looked down at the clothes he was wearing, which consisted of a green tank top and black spandex shorts. And socks and shoes, but that's beside the point. Duo drug the box over to Heero. "Here. But you can't open it until tomorrow." Heero made a face and Duo laughed. The six year old boy, whos name was Haus (Pronounced house) Maxwell, ran over to Duo and wrapped himself around Duos leg. "Hey! What do you want? Why're you doing that?" Haus glanced up at Duo, his lower lip trembling. "Gufei looked at me all scary. And it was scary. So I got scared." Duo looked in Gufeis direction, but Gufei wasn't doing anything, since he had stopped as soon as Haus had run to Duo. Duo grinned and said "Well, I know he looks scary, but it isn't his fault he looks like that." Gufei grabbed Quarters Gameboy and threw it at Duo. Duo caught the small electronic device. "Hey, thanks!"
//'Tis the season of giving,
'tis that time of year//
Quarter grabbed the Gameboy. "I finally got to the last level. And..." He glanced at the screen. "And you two got me killed!!!" There as a knock at the door, and Quarter opened it. Quarter was instantly knocked to the ground. "That's for nearly getting me killed." Reelina came into the room, one leg in a cast. "Heero!" She cried out and she walked to the couch. She sat down on Heeros lap and kissed him right on the lips. Duo sat still for a moment, and then, quicker than anyone could see, he shoved Reelina onto the ground and replaced her on Heeros lap.
Later that night......
Heero and Duo lay in their bed, half asleep. Duo suddenly sat up. "Heero!" He hissed. Heero rolled over and looked up at Duo. "What?" "Aren't we supposed to have all the presents under a tree and stuff?" Heeros eyes opened up wide and the two jumped out of bed. They ran out the door and into Quarter and Trowels room. "Quarter! Trowel! Hurry, get up!" Trowel and Quarter opened their eyes sleepily, and Trowel glared at the two. "Hey, we're trying to get some sleep, here. Um... You're both in your underwear. Please don't tell me you decided you wanted to have a foursome?" He pleaded. "Nope, even better, we're gonna let Gufei join in, too." Duo joked. "We need a tree." Heero said. All of a sudden it hit Trowel and Quarter. "Oh, crap! That's right!" And so, at a half hour past midnight, they woke Gufei and the five gundam pilots drove out to look for a tree. And, unfortunately for them, they didn't seem to notice that they hadn't put any clothes on and were still in nothing but their underwear.
//'Twas the night before christmas,
'twas a pain in the rear.
It's that credit card payment,
its, argh, unpayable.
Christmas Christmas returnable
Christmas Christmas
You'll see Santa hop the rooftops,
Rudolphs nose will be glowin so bright.
Theres a whole lotta parents losing sleep,
nothing silent about this night.
Christmas is pure promotion
let us not forget why.
We're all out shoppin',
we're all out buyin'//
The gundam guys arrived at a place that sold Christmas trees. "Holy crap! Heero, we seem to have forgotten our clothes." Duo pointed out, and they realised they all were. "Too late now." Gufei muttered. "This is injust!" A car pulled up behind theirs, and Reelina jumped out. "Damn it!" She screamed as she landed on her broken leg. She then ran to Heero screaming everytime she stepped on her broken leg. The dumb bitch jumped on Heero and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Heero, is that a brush in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" She asked. "Actually, I was just thinking about whats going to happen when Duo and I get back to bed..." Heero replied, resisting the urge to pull out the pistol he kept in his underwear at all times and kill her. Duo grabbed a crowbar from the back seat of their car and pried Reelina off his boyfriend.
Reelina fell to the ground, and the boys ran deep into the collection of trees.
Later....
"We finally got out of there! That damn woman... When is she going to realize I love Duo?" Trowel was driving the car, and they were going back with a tree in the back. The car pulled into the garage, and the boys all climbed out of the car and carried the tree inside. They stood the tree in a corner and put all the presents under it. "And now we can go to sleep." Heero proclaimed, but before they went to bed, Duo remembered something. "We need to put lights on the tree. And a star, too." Quarter sighed and went to the garage to look for some lights to put on the tree. Duo and Heero wandered off to look for a star. Gufei and Trowel shook the boxes under the tree that were for them, trying to figure out what they were. "Trowel. If you tell me what you got me, I'll tell you what I got you." Trowel glanced around and then agreed. But then Quarter came back with the lights. By the time Duo and Heero returned with a star, the others had already finished with the lights. Duo placed the star on top of the tree and Heero plugged everything in. Gufei tried to go back to his room to sleep, but fell asleep in the chair he had sat down on. Trowel and Quarter sat down on the couch, and the two fell asleep in each others arms. Heero had sat down on the other couch (Convenient that they just happen to have another, isn't it?) Duo sat next to him and fell asleep with his head on Heeros shoulders. Heero slipped an arm around the sleeping boy next to him and feel asleep soon after.
//It's that one string of light bulbs,
you can't ever get lit.
It's that gallon of egg nog
it's, bleah, undrinkable.
Christmas Christmas decoratable
Christmas Christmas
It's the things you buy me baby
it's the thing I buy you darlin'.
It's that Faith Hill cd,
they're all sold out of 'em.
Christmas Christmas beautiful
Christmas Christmas//
To be continued..........
Didja like it? Hmmm??? If you liked it, write a review and tell me how great it was. If you thought it sucked, tell me! I can improve, I swear! Depending on reviews, I might put up more chapters, and I might not. So long!
By the way... This might contain just a teeeeeeeny bit of Shounen Ai and Yaoi. There's some language too. It, if successful, will also contain enough comedy to make you fall off your seat. So now it's time for Christmas, Gundam Wing style!
// // = Songs lyrics
= Thoughts
Partial Cast Listing
= career, () = authors notes
Quarter Rhubarb Loser Owner of a Large Business - Quatre Raberba Winner
Trowel Carton Hardware Store Owner - Trowa Barton
Heero Yuy (I couldn't think of anything all that great for Heeros name) Um... He's Heero - Heero Yuy
Gufei (Pronounced goofy) Train Railroad Tycoon - Wufei Chang
Duo Maxwell (His name is absolutely perfect, just like the rest of him. Well, that and I couldn't think of anything good for his name.) Owner of a Coffee Company - Duo Maxwell
Silly Mo Strange Hillbilly Girl - Sally Po
Tubarsuv Sohope owner of a soap company, Doves main competitor - Tubarov
Coward a terrified person - Howard
Doggy Stay mad dog trainer - Doctor J
Munster Scarpian rejected Munster - Minister Darlian
Auto Man lost in Oz with Dorothy - Otto
Miller owner of the Miller beer company - Muller
Trace ShishKebab Stencil Maker And World-Famous Chef - Treize
Mallard Pieceocrap / Stretch Markings A Fat Duck - Milliardo Peacecraft / Zechs Merquise
Reelina (Pronounced reel in a) Pieceocrap A Stupid And Annoying Bitch - Relena Peacecraft
The Duke of Earl The Duke of Earl - Duke Dermail
Brady One Android Designed to Look Like One of The Brady Bunch - Lady Une
Ihatesya (Pronounced I hates ya) Boing Bouncy Cereal Killer - Lucrezia Noin
Stillday Ornight Not-Very-Intelligent Clock Maker - Hilde
Radish MukramaLeader of The Backpack - Rashid
Caffeine Owner of Cocaine Cola - Catherine
Please don't sue me if I made a huge amount of mispellings! I got some spellings from other peoples fanfics, some from toy boxes, some I just guessed at, etc.
Gundams
All of the gundams have retained their names 'cause I haven't been able to think of anything for 'em.
Here we go!
Quarter drove towards Wal Mart as fast as he could. "Ugh... Wow, look at how fast I'm going. A whole two miles an hour! I'm really flying now!" He said, his voice absolutely drenched in sarcasm. Well... I guess it's worth it, as long as I get something really great for Trowel. And of course the other guys, too! He thought to himself with a slight blush. "I could just get him a tie or something." The blond boy laughed at that thought.
// I don't want another fruit cake,
I don't need another ugly tie, no//
Quarter finally arrived at the large store and got out of his car. "Crap... Why did I have to wait until the last minute? I guess it's cause of work... Those bastards... Erm, I mean, those nice gentleman FINALLY decided to close my deal, but only as long as I was there. Half way across the world. For an entire MONTH!!! I don't know why it took a month to sign a piece of paper. I guess they must have had a hell of a time getting a translator willing to read them the fine print." The boy ran towards the front doors. "Well, I normally wouldn't even consider doing this... I wouldn't even consider this under extreme conditions! But this is worse than extreme. It's Christmas! So I'll do it."
//Heard they had a sale on go-carts,
down at Wal-Mart, ho ho, goodbye//
Quarter pulled out the small handgun and postal workers cap from his pocket. He put the cap on his head and ran inside with the gun. "I'm a postal worker! Everybody get down on the ground, now!" He noticed everyone was already on the ground, and was immediately approached by several REAL postal workers. Oh, great, they're gonna kill me. One of them slapped him on the back and said "They won't dare mess with us now. Just us 6 and someone might have been brave enough to try something. But with 7, we're perfectly fine. Now let's get everything we need and get out of here fast!" Quarter went off to find some appropriate gifts. He first encountered a gun display. "Hmmm... Heero was drooling over this gun last week." Quarter picked up the gun and went on to the toy section. He was about to pass right on by when he noticed a model train. "Gufei'd probably like that..." Quarter picked up the large box. "It's got three trains, some pretty big railroads, and a lot of other stuff. Seems perfect for Gufei."
Quarter ran throughout the entire store and picked out a go-cart for Duo. "HEY! I've got it! I could just not get Trowel anything and tell him I'M His present!" One of the postal workers approached the frustrated boy and said "I'd get him something if I was you." Quarter continued wandering about. "Weird. I've been with the guy for just over a year and I have no idea what to get him. What did I get him last year? Oh yeah... I got him... Oh. Hehe. I got him a large supply of whipped cream..." His face turned bright red. "He put it to good use, too." Many aisles later, he spotted something he thought would suffice. "A mirror! He spends a lot of time on his hair, and all he has is that little microscopic mirror... If I got him a really big one, it'd be a lot easier for him to comb his hair." The young blond grabbed the mirror and then put everything in a shopping cart nearby. "I can't believe I carried that all around."
//Got no money in my pocket,
can't believe it's Christmas time//
He pushed the cart towards the front door and then remembered Reelina. "That stupid bitch, I can't believe she tried to come between Heero and Duo. I think I'll get her something she'll remember for a long time." Something caught Quarters attention out of the corner of his eyes. "Perfect." He placed it in the cart and pushed it to his car with a grin on his face.
Quarter was stuck in traffic yet again. "Hurry up... Not only do I have to worry about the police, but I have to get this stuff wrapped before the other guys get back. Then again, with the traffic going this slow, I can give Reelina her present very accurately. I can't believe I just robbed Wal Mart. Anyways... There it is!" The car moved forward a few more feet and Quarter had a perfect view of the building Reelina was currently in, signing some sort of peace treaty or something. Quarter reached into the back seat of the car and pulled out the rocket launcher he had seen in the gun section. "Wal Mart sure does have everything a person could need..." Quarter aimed carefully and blew a chunk out of the bottom of the building, and it collapsed in on itself. Quarter smiled and then went back to watching the road in front of him. The unmoving road in front of him.
//It's the crowds that bug me,
stuck in traffic like this//
After Quarter had finished wrapping what he had 'bought' and the other gundam pilots had gotten to the home in which they all five lived there was a phone call. Heero picked up the receiver and said "Hello." He listened to the whiney voice on the other end and slammed the receiver down. "Reelina just called and said the building she was in blew up and collapsed on itself. Apparently she got away with just a broken leg. She wanted to know if I knew who had caused that." Quarter laughed. The other four stared at him in surprise. "Quarter? You did that? I didn't think you had it in you!" Trowel exclaimed. "It was just an early Christmas present. A little surprise for her." A 6 year old boy ran into the room. "Daddy! Uncle Quarter made me go to my room, and I wasn't even doing anything!" He said as he hugged Duo. "What's wrong with you, kid? I'm not your dad! Heero is." Heero glared at Duo, attempting unsuccessfully to be angry with his lover. "Well, I guess that would make you his mother, wouldn't it, Duo?" He asked, and his question was met with an equally unsuccessful glare, and then Duo stuck his tongue out at Heero.
//It's kids causing a commotion,
it's shop at your own risk//
"Why does that kid seem to think we're his family?" Trowel queried. Quarter shrugged and then replied with "Well, he doesn't have a family, so I guess that would mean we are kind of his family. We're all he has." Duo and Heero sighed. "Great." Heero muttered as he foresaw Quarters next words. "And..." Quarter began. "Since he seems to like you two so much, you get to be his parents." Trowel grinned at the disgusted look on Duos face. Duo sighed and mumbled "Well, yeah, whatever. Fine. But he's gonna have two fathers, 'cause I'm sure as hell not going to be his mom. I'll go buy the kid a Tickle Me Elmo or something."
//It's that Tickle Me Elmo,
it's, dang, unfindable//
Duo saw the traffic and ran to the garage. He opened up the trap door in the floor and practically flew down the stairs. He jumped into the Deathscythes cockpit. "Screw the car. I'll get there faster in my gundam." Duo pulled a small remote from his pocket and pressed the round blue button in the middle. The garage lifted up into the air and Deathscythe jumped out of the basement. The garage went back to its original position. Duo flew to Wal Mart, but after seeing how many cars were parked in the parking lot, he flew over to Target. "Not as many people here. I'll just run in, buy something, and go back home." Duo landed in front of the store and hopped out of the gundam. "And now to find something for the kid." I can't help feeling sorry for him. I was in the same position he's in. Well, except for the fact that now he's got two great parents like me and Heero. After all, who wouldn't be jealous of the kid, getting the priveledge of having me for his dad?
//Christmas Christmas. Unshoppable.
Christmas Christmas.//
Duo ran all throughout the store, but couldn't find anything at all that he could buy for the kid. "Jeez, no wonder everyone's at Wal Mart. They cleaned out Target already." Duo walked back to the Deathscythe, thinking about where to go next. He didn't want to go to Wal Mart, with the huge crowd that was no doubt running around inside grabbing everything they could before someone else got to it. Duo got back into his gundam and flew to several other stores before giving up and going to Wal Mart.
//It can make a fellow uptight,
I must have been to 15 stores or more//
Hmmm.... Well, at least their shelves aren't completely bare. Duo ran through the store and got to the toy section. "Kids... Why can't they ever want something useful, like a gun or something? Nooooooo... Gotta have toys. OOOOOOOOOHHH!!! I WANT ONE!!!" Duo screamed as he ran towards the last remaining go-cart. "DAMN IT! I can't afford it right now... And besides, I'm supposed to be buying for other people right now." Duo sighed and looked for something his... Hmmm... Well, I guess he's my son now. He was looking for something for his son. "Light Brite? Never heard of it, but I guess I'll get one." Duo read the name of a toy off a sign hanging above the aisle. He walked down the aisle, but couldn't find anything called a Light Brite. A woman approached him. "Are you looking for a Light Brite?" She asked him. He nodded in response. "I saw someone buy the last one last night."
//All I wanted was a Light Brite
but they sold out, last night, of course//
"Great....." Duo sighed and shook his head in despair. "Out doing some last minute shopping for your kids, huh? I know how it feels." The woman sympathized. "Yeah, well, don't get the wrong idea or anything, I mean I'm not straight or anything! The kid was homeless, and we, meaning me and my BOYFRIEND, found
him, and he just started following us around everywhere calling me dad, and after a while we just gave up."
The woman laughed. Duo asked her what kind of thing he should look for. "Why don't you buy a swing set or something?" She suggested. Duo asked where he could find one, and the lady told him she had seen some a few aisles down. Duo thanked her and went off to find a swing set. He finally found a large box containing a swing set. Duo grabbed the box, and just before he went to the front to buy it, he remembered to check the price. The braided shoppers face contorted into a look of horror as he read the pricetag. "Three hundred dollars?!? But.... That's almost all the money I have! Kids... They just have to have the most expensive things they can get. Couldn't I just get the kid some playboy magazines or something?" Duo sighed as he gave in. "Fine. I'll buy the damn swing set."
//'Time I buy my kids a swing set,
I'll be broke forever more//
Duo had hidden the swing set in the basement and was now inside the house. The other gundam pilots saw that he looked rather pissed off, and only Heero dared to ask him how it went. "Have fun?" He asked, raising his left eyebrow and giving a slight smile. Duo plopped down on the couch and screamed. He screamed for several minutes before finally talking. "Next time we have a kid, tell me long before Christmas. I had all my Christmas shopping done in September, thinking I was soooo clever and wouldn't have to deal with that last minute Christmas shopping. But noooo, of course not, just before Christmas I find out we have a kid. I don't like kids anymore..." Heero sat next to the stewing chestnut haired boy who was busy glaring angrily at the young boy trying to hide behind Quarter. Heero pulled Duos head to the right so he was looking him right in the eyes. "Next time I'll do the last minute shopping, okay?" Heero offered before kissing Duo passionately. Duo laughed. "I should probably do it. That way the other customers wont be getting a complimentary bullet in the head. Oh, damn, I forgot to buy something for you, Heero. I guess I'm your present!" Quarter stifled a laugh. "Hey, that was my idea!" Duo ran into his and Heeros bedroom and came back with a large square box that just barely fit through the doorway. "Why haven't I seen that before, if you had it in our room?" Heero asked, surprised. Duo grinned. "I just hid it in the closet behind some clothes that didn't have any spandex or tank tops. I knew you'd never find it there." Heero looked down at the clothes he was wearing, which consisted of a green tank top and black spandex shorts. And socks and shoes, but that's beside the point. Duo drug the box over to Heero. "Here. But you can't open it until tomorrow." Heero made a face and Duo laughed. The six year old boy, whos name was Haus (Pronounced house) Maxwell, ran over to Duo and wrapped himself around Duos leg. "Hey! What do you want? Why're you doing that?" Haus glanced up at Duo, his lower lip trembling. "Gufei looked at me all scary. And it was scary. So I got scared." Duo looked in Gufeis direction, but Gufei wasn't doing anything, since he had stopped as soon as Haus had run to Duo. Duo grinned and said "Well, I know he looks scary, but it isn't his fault he looks like that." Gufei grabbed Quarters Gameboy and threw it at Duo. Duo caught the small electronic device. "Hey, thanks!"
//'Tis the season of giving,
'tis that time of year//
Quarter grabbed the Gameboy. "I finally got to the last level. And..." He glanced at the screen. "And you two got me killed!!!" There as a knock at the door, and Quarter opened it. Quarter was instantly knocked to the ground. "That's for nearly getting me killed." Reelina came into the room, one leg in a cast. "Heero!" She cried out and she walked to the couch. She sat down on Heeros lap and kissed him right on the lips. Duo sat still for a moment, and then, quicker than anyone could see, he shoved Reelina onto the ground and replaced her on Heeros lap.
Later that night......
Heero and Duo lay in their bed, half asleep. Duo suddenly sat up. "Heero!" He hissed. Heero rolled over and looked up at Duo. "What?" "Aren't we supposed to have all the presents under a tree and stuff?" Heeros eyes opened up wide and the two jumped out of bed. They ran out the door and into Quarter and Trowels room. "Quarter! Trowel! Hurry, get up!" Trowel and Quarter opened their eyes sleepily, and Trowel glared at the two. "Hey, we're trying to get some sleep, here. Um... You're both in your underwear. Please don't tell me you decided you wanted to have a foursome?" He pleaded. "Nope, even better, we're gonna let Gufei join in, too." Duo joked. "We need a tree." Heero said. All of a sudden it hit Trowel and Quarter. "Oh, crap! That's right!" And so, at a half hour past midnight, they woke Gufei and the five gundam pilots drove out to look for a tree. And, unfortunately for them, they didn't seem to notice that they hadn't put any clothes on and were still in nothing but their underwear.
//'Twas the night before christmas,
'twas a pain in the rear.
It's that credit card payment,
its, argh, unpayable.
Christmas Christmas returnable
Christmas Christmas
You'll see Santa hop the rooftops,
Rudolphs nose will be glowin so bright.
Theres a whole lotta parents losing sleep,
nothing silent about this night.
Christmas is pure promotion
let us not forget why.
We're all out shoppin',
we're all out buyin'//
The gundam guys arrived at a place that sold Christmas trees. "Holy crap! Heero, we seem to have forgotten our clothes." Duo pointed out, and they realised they all were. "Too late now." Gufei muttered. "This is injust!" A car pulled up behind theirs, and Reelina jumped out. "Damn it!" She screamed as she landed on her broken leg. She then ran to Heero screaming everytime she stepped on her broken leg. The dumb bitch jumped on Heero and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Heero, is that a brush in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" She asked. "Actually, I was just thinking about whats going to happen when Duo and I get back to bed..." Heero replied, resisting the urge to pull out the pistol he kept in his underwear at all times and kill her. Duo grabbed a crowbar from the back seat of their car and pried Reelina off his boyfriend.
Reelina fell to the ground, and the boys ran deep into the collection of trees.
Later....
"We finally got out of there! That damn woman... When is she going to realize I love Duo?" Trowel was driving the car, and they were going back with a tree in the back. The car pulled into the garage, and the boys all climbed out of the car and carried the tree inside. They stood the tree in a corner and put all the presents under it. "And now we can go to sleep." Heero proclaimed, but before they went to bed, Duo remembered something. "We need to put lights on the tree. And a star, too." Quarter sighed and went to the garage to look for some lights to put on the tree. Duo and Heero wandered off to look for a star. Gufei and Trowel shook the boxes under the tree that were for them, trying to figure out what they were. "Trowel. If you tell me what you got me, I'll tell you what I got you." Trowel glanced around and then agreed. But then Quarter came back with the lights. By the time Duo and Heero returned with a star, the others had already finished with the lights. Duo placed the star on top of the tree and Heero plugged everything in. Gufei tried to go back to his room to sleep, but fell asleep in the chair he had sat down on. Trowel and Quarter sat down on the couch, and the two fell asleep in each others arms. Heero had sat down on the other couch (Convenient that they just happen to have another, isn't it?) Duo sat next to him and fell asleep with his head on Heeros shoulders. Heero slipped an arm around the sleeping boy next to him and feel asleep soon after.
//It's that one string of light bulbs,
you can't ever get lit.
It's that gallon of egg nog
it's, bleah, undrinkable.
Christmas Christmas decoratable
Christmas Christmas
It's the things you buy me baby
it's the thing I buy you darlin'.
It's that Faith Hill cd,
they're all sold out of 'em.
Christmas Christmas beautiful
Christmas Christmas//
To be continued..........
Didja like it? Hmmm??? If you liked it, write a review and tell me how great it was. If you thought it sucked, tell me! I can improve, I swear! Depending on reviews, I might put up more chapters, and I might not. So long!