Hey, dad, look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
"Dib Membrane," announced the speaker. Soft, broken claps echoed around the auditorium as the eighteen-year-old Dib made his way up the steps and onto the stage. His black graduation robe flowed behind him as the speaker continued. "Dib will be attending the University of Parapsychology in Australia, that's a surprise." They muttered the last part in sarcasm, but Dib cast them a glare through his glasses. He quickly turned his head to look forward, smiling as he reached for his diploma. The rolled up paper felt nice in his hand, and as he turned around to show it to his dad his smile faded. He was looking right at his sister with eyes full of sadness. Gaz returned the look along with a slow headshake. Dib sighed in defeat and made his way down the stairs and back to his seat.
After the graduation ceremony was over, Dib caught up to his sister before she got into her deep, dark purple car. The seventeen-year-old girl looked up when she saw him approach her, the same sad look on his face.
"Where's dad?" he asked in an almost monotone voice. "He promised he'd be here." Gaz stepped into her car, closed the door, and rolled down the window.
"He had to be somewhere," she said with contempt. "Apparently it was super important because he didn't even show up." Her car revved up and she sped away, taking one last look in her rearview mirror. Dib's upset and hurt eyes had completely transformed into a look of pure hatred and disgust. Gaz sighed sadly as she saw him crumple his newly earned diploma in his hand as he balled it into a fist.
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
Dib stood in his room, taking inventory of the things he needed to pack up. He was going to need a lot of suitcases, boxes, and duffel bags. He grabbed the first bag he saw and started filling it with clothes from his dresser and closet. When he finished neatly folding and packing up the first set of clothes, he heard the voice that made him want to crawl in a corner and die.
"Hello, son," his dad greeted in the doorway. He noticed Dib putting his things in bags and had to ask, "Why are you packing? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your graduation ceremony?"
Dib gritted his teeth in anger and frustration, and his knuckles turned white as he clutched the shirt he was holding just to keep himself from throwing his desk at the man standing in front of him. "Graduation was an hour and a half ago," he replied as calmly as he could without looking at him. He continued to pack.
"Oh", his dad said simply.
Yeah. "Oh," the black haired boy thought angrily, increasing his packing speed. God, the sooner I get out of here, the better.
"Well," his dad continued, "it'll be such a joy to see my son walk through the front doors of my alma mater. The University of Real Science, right here in our home state!" He said all of this with pride, completely unaware of Dib's future plans.
Dib finally looked up at his dad. "I'm not going to your old school, dad. I told you four months ago that I was going to the University of Parapsychology in Australia." He tried to stay as calm as possible, but his temper was rising with every second the man was in his room. "Don't you ever listen to me?"
"I'm sorry, son, but I was in the middle of an important experi-"
"That's always your excuse!" Dib cut him off before he could finish. "Won't you ever take an interest in what I want to do?" His dad sighed and took a step further into Dib's room.
"Son, paranormal activity isn't real science," he explained. "If it doesn't exist, it isn't real. Only science can prove things to be real."
"But I didn't want to be a scientist!" Dib was on his feet now, his hands balled into fists. He was feeling the urge to punch this man he called "dad" right in the face. "If you took any interest in me at all, you would know I've always wanted to be a paranormal investigator! And if you even so much as cared about me you would have been supporting me every step of the way!" He quickly turned around to hide the tears about to drop out of his hazel eyes. His body was almost shaking, he was so mad.
His dad opened his mouth to say something more, but Dib raised a finger and pointed it toward the door. "Get out," he muttered, loud enough for his dad to hear. Without saying anything else, the scientist turned around and walked out, closing the door behind him.
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
Can't pretend that I'm all right
And you can't change me
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
As Dib sat at his desk, sorting out what he would take with him, he found something that made his nostrils flare. Buried underneath piles of Swollen Eyeball papers and paranormal hunting gear was an old photograph of a three-year-old Dib on top of his father's shoulders. He looked like he was laughing, and his eyes seemed to be glowing in a way that seemed to say, "I love you." Seeing this picture made Dib wish that he could have a normal dad, one who loved him and was there for him and had room in his life for more than one family night a year. As the packing stopped and he looked at the picture held in his two hands, he couldn't help but think about the time when he decided his dad would be his role model. His hero.
"Quick, Gaz," an excited young Dib shouted. "Dad's going to be on TV soon!" Dib had just turned three years old, and for his birthday his dad was going to do something special for him on his show. Two-year-old Gaz sat on the couch while Dib lied on the floor with his hands supporting his chin. The introduction for "Probing the Membrane" flickered on the screen.
"Hello, everyone," he greeted. "Before we start today's show, I want to wish my son, Dib, a happy birthday. This is for you." He walked over to a table that had what Dib called, "scientific stuff" on it. Dib watched expectantly as he saw his dad pour liquids of all colors into a large bowl. He then lit a match and dropped it into the concoction. The audience gasped in amazement while Dib smiled happily. A puff of smoke had risen out of the bowl and spelled, "Happy Birthday, Dib."
"Those were good times," Dib said to himself. "Back when you cared." As Dib put the picture back on his desk he briefly thought about how he had decided that he wanted to be a paranormal investigator. Maybe it was on that one camping trip when I saw Bigfoot.
After a few more hours of packing, he gathered the last remaining bags and looked around his almost completely empty room. A feeling washed over him that was a mixture of happiness and relief, but also sadness. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Gaz standing behind him. She almost looked upset that he was leaving.
"Have fun at college," she said simply. Before turning to go back to her room, Dib embraced her in a hug. She was tense at first, then relaxed and wrapped her arms around her brother.
"Just one more year and you'll be out of here, too," Dib whispered in her ear. Gaz squeezed her arms tighter around him in an effort to keep in the tears. When she let go, Dib was half surprised to see her curve her lips up in a tiny smile at him. She quickly turned around and headed back to her room. Dib took that whole moment as a good-bye.
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's all right
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
And nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand
"Well, I don't know how," Dib said to himself, "but I did it." Placing his hands on his hips, he marveled at the completion of playing Tetris with his bags and boxes, which he had successfully gotten into his dark blue van. "Now I can finally get out of here." As he was about to get into the front seat of his car, his dad stopped him. They locked eyes before the scientist opened his arms wide, requesting a hug.
"Don't you want to say bye to your dad?" he asked Dib, who replied with a frown.
Oh, now he wants to start caring? he thought angrily. "Why should I?" he continued aloud. "You wouldn't remember me leaving anyway!" His dad lowered his arms.
"Of course I would, son," he replied, sounding a little hurt.
"You didn't even remember about my graduation ceremony today!" Dib shot back. "Even though you promised! How the hell can I trust you to remember that I'm leaving for good?"
"Y-you're leaving," his dad muttered, "for good?"
"Yes, dad. I've told you twice already that I'm going to Australia."
"But what about coming to visit?" Dib crossed his arms.
"Why the hell would I do that? You wouldn't even remember that I'm your son after a couple months of not seeing me!"
"Of course I would!" his dad shouted. "I love you guys!"
Love? That's the first time he's ever said that. "Face it, dad. You don't love us. Even Gaz can't wait to get out of this house." There was a silence between the two before his dad spoke up again.
"Can't I at least have a hug?" Dib just rolled his eyes.
"Fifteen years," he simply said. His dad tilted his head to the side.
"Fifteen years?"
"It's been fifteen years since you gave me a hug," Dib explained. "Why start now?" He turned around and got into his van. The engine revved as he turned the key. His dad approached the rolled down window of Dib's car.
"Son, why did you choose a school in Australia?" The boy let his temper loose, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. As the temper was let out of its cage, the truth poured from his mouth.
"You want to know why I picked a school all the way across the globe? It's so that I'd be able to get as far away from you as possible!" His hazel eyes were fixed on the road ahead of him as he stepped on the gas pedal and sped away from his former home, leaving his dad standing alone on the sidewalk.
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be
Perfect