NA: This is gonna be ten small stories about MelloNear that are right now just collecting dust in my computer and I might as well upload these. Maybe someone out there will like them :)
Love and Hate
It makes the emotions start burning — NearMello
Ficlet
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I
Why
"Near?"
"Yes?"
"I don't get it."
"What is it that you don't get, Mello?"
"This," he blurts out and a white breath escapes from his stiff lips. "This fucking attraction to you. I'm not supposed to feel this way, you know. Why you of all people?"
Near leans closer and places his small hands on leathered shoulders, tilting his head forward so his cold-as-ice forehead touches Mello's throat. "You do understand that not everything has a reason? You can compare this to the physics' laws. Strange comparison but it follows the similar pattern; we believe that Newton's laws are true but how can we be so certain? Maybe we have lived in a lie all along and we have to start from the beginning again."
"Where the hell are you going with this?"
Near looks up with that wicked smile plastered on his abnormally cute face, a smile he only spares for Mello, for one single person in the world. "There is a point in my speech."
"Well duh, but I don't bother to see it."
Mello places one of his gloved hands in Near's hank of white locks, bending his face to one side so Mello can kiss the loose skin on his throat. Faint apples flash on his cheeks and he coils like a worm, which only makes Mello's possessive threats grow larger and he tilted Near' face back until he can face large, black eyes deeper than wells, more beautiful than the most rare gemstones, cold but emotional.
"Mello, it's not polite to interrupt me in a middle of a conversation," Near states matter-of-factly and straightens his lips to a thin line, looping one finger around his locks. Mello lets one of his hands run down his hair down to the smooth curve of his shoulder. Near may look expressionless and empty as a teenager's wallet but Mello isn't stupid, he knows Near, he knows Near so much his ace-card doesn't work.
He knows Near. He needs Near. He craves for Near.
"It's not like you have anything important to say anyway."
"Mello, don't be ridiculous, you must have some insight in what exactly we are doing."
"Yeah," he murmurs and runs a hand through his blonde hair. "But I choose not to think about it."
"That's unwise."
"What the hell?"
Near looks down at the floor which is covered by a thick layer of brown dirt running in small rivers between cracks. "In the end isn't it about catching Kira?"
Mello loops his fingers around Near's wrist to make him stop toying with his hair. "How the fuck is this related to Kira?"
"Don't act stupid, Mello, you know where I'm heading. I don't say I don't have feelings for you because I do have feelings for you, strong feelings." Hearing him saying it like that, with that monotone voice that sounds like a radio makes it sound so wrong, like it doesn't mean anything. "But it started with a race to catch Kira. You want to win and your desire is so strong you chose not to work with me but working alone."
"Please, don't bring that up. It was a hundred years ago."
"No, it wasn't," Near says, still immune to any dose of sarcasm. "You are fully aware that this puts you in a dangerous situation, ignoring the Kira-case with all its risks and spend time with me instead."
"You don't want me to like you?"
Near signs and tries to pull away from Mello's grip but to no avail. For hell Mello is going to release him now or he might never see him again. Near is complicated, like an equation without a solution, blurry and obscurely, melting inside the wallpaper with emotions impossible to read. But Mello needs him, he really does need him like he never has needed anything before. "I never implied that, Mello."
"You know, you should trust me more."
Near clips his eyes. "Yes?"
"You think I'm an idiot. Yes, you do," he growls when Near tries to argue, "and it pisses me off. I know you truly are L's successor according to L himself but I'm number two. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing." He wraps one arm around Near's shoulders and pulls him closer again, breaking the distance until skin touches skin. Smooth fingers moves across the round jaw-line, he smiles and kisses the cheek, before moving closer to Near's extremely adorable lips. "You're just a bitch to me because I make you feel. I can feel your desire, feel your thirst. You don't like it, admit it."
"It's true," Near murmurs but allows Mello to catch his lips between his own. "However… I… think… Mello, I can't talk when you're doing that."
"Fair enough. I hate your ramble," he whispers softly and tilts Near's head backwards so he can deepen the kiss and enjoy the bright flush starting on the bridge of Near's nose walking down to his cheeks. "But I'm damn addicted to your kisses."
Near smiles slightly and Mello can't prevent himself—Near sitting there with cheeks like a child and eyes filled with emotions is like a ventilator soon overfilled and is gonna pour out and ruin everything. Mello nips on Near's under-lip, before forcing his tongue in, taste the essence of Near, feel him, lick him. Near's taste is impossible to describe; it's like nothing and everything glued together and Mello doesn't really care, he only craves.
Kira. Kira is still out there.
Hell, he fucking knows. He doesn't have time for this but what can he do when he's addicted to a drug that doesn't hurt him? He is black and Near is white but they want the same thing. They want to win and their similarities—and differences—make them blend like acrylic paint. He wants to know why but understands that there is no answer. He wants to comprehend and Near wants to back off but they both fail. This is their lives now, this is what they have.
Near snakes his arms around Mello's chest and leans closer, mouth still tightly locked. A Near with emotion is like a Kira with a heart, it's unbelievable and elaborated. He needs Near and that's everything he has to play with.
"Near, I don't fucking understand," he whispers and wipes away a lock from Near's forehead. "Why Near? Why?"
"I have no answer," Near replies. "I don't assume there are any."
"Yeah," he says and nothing more. Letting it out and lets the silence place its cloth over them, until they shove back the reality and replace it with a fairytale that probably doesn't even exist.
He has to catch Kira.
Instead he kisses his worst enemy.
Just why?
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to be continued