Impossible Crush
Disclaimer: I do not own Community.
Troy Barnes was hardly a genius. It was actually a miracle that he was passing Algebra and his grade was always on the verge of dropping to a D. If math hadn't been Annie's weakest subject so she hadn't wanted to risk getting a B, she wouldn't even be in his Algebra class in the first place. Not that Troy seemed to even be aware of her presence for all that she sat behind him and always exchanged papers during student-grading quizzes.
Annie was well aware that Troy wasn't the kind of guy that she should like. He had little – if any – respect for academics and she'd seen him order 'nerds' to do his homework. Nerds like her but not actually her because then at least he might remember her. Then again, maybe not because those people who ensured that his work was done never seemed to hold Troy's attention for longer than it took to hand over the materials needed to do the homework and then to pick up the finished product at the end. Not that Annie would ever have done Troy's homework even if he did ask. Oh, no. Really, she wouldn't have no matter how badly she wanted him to succeed.
Annie had big plans for herself. She wasn't one of those girls who would ever have been satisfied skating by on looks but frankly she didn't have that option open to her. It had been a miracle that she had even gotten on the cheerleading team although from the way the other girls treated her, she was starting to think it was more of a punishment. It seemed like all those teen movies were wrong; being a cheerleader didn't automatically make you popular.
Annie wasn't pretty and everyone knew it and they had to drive that into her skull every freaking day. Her mother always assured her that looks didn't matter and that she'd grow into her own but it was clear that she didn't believe it. It was still nice of her to say, perhaps nicer than if she had believed it. But then, her mother had always been gorgeous and so she just didn't know what to do with her gangly daughter.
Annie didn't have the looks but she did have the brains. The problem with that was that it wasn't enough to just be smart, you had to do something with it. You had to prove to everyone that you knew what you were doing and that you could put that intelligence to good use or it was completely meaningless. She wanted to be good for more than playing Jeopardy.
Because her brains were frankly all she had, Annie had always been a bit uncertain about them. She worried that even if she got all the other answers right, one missed question would get her dismissed as an idiot. She had been near tears the day that she had said that Taylor was the tenth president instead of Tyler. She'd known the answer but the names had just been so similar that she'd flubbed it. It didn't matter that no one else in class knew the answer to that because she'd gotten it wrong in front of everybody.
When you've got a lot of ambition, it always helped to spend time with people who also have plans for themselves. Troy had a plan. He was going to go off to a good college on a football scholarship. He'd play in college and then who knew? He might manage to make the pros and he might not. Either way, at least he'd be getting a college education and that was more than she could say for some of his friends.
Troy was never going to be one of the brilliant ones but Annie didn't think he was quite as hopeless as he liked to pretend. His friends, perhaps. Choosing to be stupid was one of the more difficult things in this world for her to understand, after all. Maybe being too smart could be isolating but where would being stupid get you? Washed-up by the time you were thirty.
Troy and Annie didn't make sense together. Troy would certainly agree to that once he had her pointed out to him. He cared about football and fun and friends and she cared about her future. She wouldn't really fit into his world and he would get absolutely lost in his. High school was hardly 'Beauty and the Geek', after all.
There wasn't much in Annie's life that didn't make sense but her fascination with Troy was one of them. In fact, it might even be the biggest mystery she had…whatever that said for her mysterious factor. She couldn't help it, though. At first glance he appeared to be just another stupid, self-centered jock but Annie knew that he wasn't, not really.
There was something special about him. He could control a room with what appeared to be effortless grace. He was always handsome but when he was playing football or even just talking about it his whole face would light up and make him almost stunningly good-looking. He had the same drive to be perfect that she recognized within herself although he channeled it in a completely different direction than he did. It was so very difficult to explain what it was she saw in him but every time she caught a glimpse of him it made her day a little better, never mind when she spoke with him.
Annie always found it hard to talk around him, which might explain his lack of remembering her. She wasn't quite sure if this was normal but after extensive online research, she had concluded that it was pretty standard as far as teenage crushes went.
When it came down to it, what Annie wanted most was to help Troy. It was a laughable concept, she knew. He was the Homecoming King and people were already talking about his chances for becoming Prom King as well. He had a great scholarship and was basically getting paid to do what he loved. She was the awkward little girl who was petrified of failing and had been having stress headaches since she was four. What could she possibly help him with? He seemed to be doing just as well as she was if not better because she didn't see him relying on Adderall more and more to make it through the day.
Still, she knew that if she ever were in a position to help him then she would absolutely jump at the chance, no matter the circumstances. Maybe then she'd get a chance to make a slight impact on his life as he'd already made a huge one on hers. He might even remember her. And then…well, thinking that they'd even manage to be friends was far too optimistic, let alone anything else.
Boys like Troy might not have been able to get any girl but they sure did have a wide selection to choose from. If Troy ever decided that he wanted a girlfriend who was smart he could always find one without having to rely on someone as awkward as Annie. Looks and brains sometimes went hand and hand and Annie tried so hard not to resent those lucky, lucky women. Maybe one day she'd manage it. For now, Troy had just broken up with a girl who thought that the slaves were freed during the Civil Rights Movement.
Annie turned into Algebra. Troy was already there, texting pretty openly considering the school's no phone policy. Despite what everyone said, she had never actually seen anyone's phone get taken away and all the cool kids texted so of course Troy would be, too.
Unbidden, a smile made its way to Annie's face at the sight. He'd probably put it away when class started anyway so why not use it during the passing period? She made her way to her seat and neatly set her books down on the floor beside her desk.
"Yo," Troy said suddenly. "Does anyone have a pen I can borrow? I just heard that we have a test today."
The teacher had been talking about this test for two weeks now and so Annie was prepared. She had four pens and seven pencils, all pre-sharpened because you could never count on the school sharpeners to work properly or to even be in every classroom.
"Oh, here, I have one," she said, smiling a bit too much like she always did when she was nervous.
Troy turned around, surprised that anybody actually had extra supplies. He grinned at her. "Thanks," he said, accepting the pen. "Annie, right?"
"You're welcome," Annie said softly as he turned back around in his seat. Perhaps he did know who she was after all.
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