Darling, I Think I Love You

by PoppieJoy

"I said think of me as your bed." She scolds slightly, kissing your neck again. You shiver. "You never, ever have to apologise to me. Because you can do me no wrong." A little fluffy one-shot.

So here is another one-shot for ya'll. I actually wrote this last November, when I returned home from Africa. I met someone out there and this whole thing is completely because of that person and the experience I shared with them. I've actually never written pure fluff but here it is! Except maybe the first two paragraphs. So I have just incorporated Santana and Brittany into it and I hope that you like this little, silly, fluffy drabble. Enjoy x

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, but never say never.

"Look, will you please just tell me why you've come here." You say, sighing with exasperation. "I know that you're mad and you're insecure right now, I get it and I get why. I do, but you're not the same girl I knew. You're not. And I don't know why."

"How can you say that when you know what happened?" She gasps, looking at you with those pleading eyes. Her innocent tone pulls at your heart strings.

"Because you're quiet, and I know you can be but you're never quiet around me. Never. And you're silently refusing my help and my care when I'm pretty sure you turned up on my doorstep, tears and all, desperately wanting it. Needing it. You came here for comfort but you won't accept it. What am I meant to do, B, but question why you're here? The real reason why you're here?"

She stalls, her eyes fixed solely in yours. She stares at you so intently, you are convinced she's frozen. Then she drops her gaze to the floor as if she's embarrassed and is trying to think of an easy way of explaining her behaviour.

"Britt?"

She looks back up at you and you see that she is fighting back tears. You furrow your brow, concern leaking its way through your blood stream. She notices. You see her face crumple before she speaks and it's all you can do not to brush the tears away for her.

"I came here on an absolute impulse, because you were the first person I thought of when I saw my boyfriend in bed with my sister. And you were always the spontaneous one, always the girl that said, 'fuck everything, just do it' and so I did. I didn't even think until I was sat on the plane way too high in the air to ask them to turn back." She pauses to catch her breath before continuing. "And what I realised is that I was actually kinda relieved my boyfriend cheated. Because after thinking of you straight away, I saw that being away with you, and with everyone else, I've never been happier. And then actually being here with you again... it's so overwhelming, San. I was so worried that it wouldn't be the same – that you wouldn't be the same. And then I got here and I don't know if it's because I'm blind or whether you don't feel the way I thought you did but I'm so scared that I made the wrong decision. That I shouldn't have come here and I should have just gone home because... because I needed to see...fuck..." She stops and pulls her hand to her head. You frown even deeper whilst she wrestles with her thoughts. "I needed to see that you felt it too... And I'm not sure you do."

You continue to frown at her, a mixture of concern and confusion. Tears threaten her eyes again. You unconsciously take a step forward. "Feel what?"

"Feel..." She looks around as if someone will help her explain. "Feel me." She says finally. "Feel us. Because... because I love you, Santana. I really, really love you and... and I just-" You hear the crack in her voice is full of frustration and disappointment. You can't help but feel it's your fault. "I just don't think you feel the same way like I thought you did."

You feel relief and you feel desperation all at the same time. You want to tell her that no, how could she even think that you didn't feel the same, haven't you been obviously holding back this whole time? But instead, you stand stock still and let her eyes drape over your entire being.

You start to feel the tugs of a smile in the corners of your mouth and you chuckle a little at her surprised expression. But then you suddenly realise what's happening and the reality of it clouds your face blank and before you know it, your whole body is dragged towards her and your arms are wrapped tightly around her neck, your thirsty lips pressed firmly against one another, everywhere suddenly throbbing for her touch. A desire you didn't even know existed until now.

The feel of her brushing tongue on your sensitive lips causes you to moan incoherently into her mouth and you can't help but feel heavenly when she brings her palm to grasp the back of your neck, pulling you deeper into her kiss. You could easily forget where you are and what you're doing but your cheek dampens from the remains of her fallen tears, making you pull back and examine her properly.

You smile gently, stroking your thumbs beneath her eyes, taking away all the worry she ever had. Her frown speaks otherwise so you frown as well.

"Britt?" You say, trying to get her to look at you. "Brittany?" You repeat.

She looks up, a mixture of anticipation and worry and a little happiness etched across the contours of her face. You smile.

"I love you, too." You promise her. "I really, really love you too."

She laughs breathily before taking your face in her palms and studying it. "Why didn't you say?"

"I thought I made it obvious enough the other night when you were cold and you slept, curled up in my arms and I didn't sleep at all because all I wanted to do was stare at your perfect face." You defend yourself, smiling all the while.

"I was asleep, baby."

You smile tenderly because even though she's called you that a thousand times before, it means so much more now. "I know."

You are both silent for a while, staring at each other and smiling continuously. You see the traces of tears form again in her eyes and very slowly, you lean forwards and brush your lips against each one.

You tremble as she takes your hands from her shoulders to her hips and leads you to your bed. You only have your fairy lights on but it's enough light to see that she's beautiful. Then again, you think she would be beautiful in the pitch darkness. Just feeling her presence, you know she's stunning.

She reaches your bed and falls back on it giving you the perfect view of her body. She's gorgeous. Every inch of her, even the ones cast in shadows, are faultless. You watch as she pushes herself further onto your bed, waiting for you to join her.

You don't hesitate. You lower your body so you're flushed together. The sensation of this brings heat to prickle at the tip of your neck but it's not unpleasant.

Her legs are bare and it's not until you feel them that you realise you are both half dressed in your pyjamas. Shyly, you glance down at her knickers and surprise yourself at knowing exactly what they say on the back. You smile whilst you settle yourself in between her hips and you look back into her eyes.

"Hello," She says, tracing her fingertips down the side of your face and to your jaw line, pulling you closer for the lightest of kisses.

"Buenos," You smirk, when you part lips.

She smiles. It's incredible when she smiles. It's like the whole room fires up. You lean in closer, your bare belly itching to feel hers.

As you kiss further, you find your hands automatically moving to remove her pyjama top as if it was their sole purpose in life. They find exactly the right place so it doesn't go wrong and when it's finally abandoned on your floor, you gasp at the remembrance she isn't wearing anything underneath.

Upon her realisation, she tugs at the back of your own bra strap and softly unclasps it, smiling contently as she falls back into your sheets. You discard the bra and fall on top of her, breathing in the scent on her neck. When you hear her sigh, you start dropping butterfly kisses all across her skin there, and when you reach her ear you tell her, "I've never seen something so beautiful in all my life."

Her soft release of breath against your jaw makes you kiss her harder, the touch of her own fingertips against your back causing you to moan. You tangle your hands in her long blonde hair, feeling so right and so happy and not caring that you are two girls in a world where touching each other this way is forbidden.

She pulls gently at your long raven locks, catching your lips with hers and smiling into it. The tips of her fingers dance down your back, across your stomach and in between your legs. You have never felt anything so right in all your life. Her touch is ghostly – delicately shy of doing the wrong thing. It's something you have never experienced before - to be held back on, rather than to be pushed hard and desperately. This was desperate but in a more modest way.

She tells you she loves you again, as you place your left thigh in between her legs, knowing it will cause her to sigh once more. It does and you surprise yourself at how beautiful it sounds. It's almost like the whisper you've been waiting for your whole life. The softest of sounds that tells you, indefinitely, that this is right and that she is the one – the one you have been dreaming of your whole, entire life.

She stops suddenly, pulling her head back and into your pillows. She looks so beautiful, you feel like crying but the worry painted over her face refrains you from doing so.

"San?" She says, her ocean blue eyes jumping back and forth, from your left to your right. You remove your hand from her tumbling hair and cup her cheek, almost in reassurance. You make sure you look straight into her eyes so she knows the sincerity you feel towards everything that is Her. "You... You really want this?"

You look down to her lips, over to her nose and back up to her eyes. The smile that appears on your lips is delicate and humble. Emotion fills your voice and your heart. "More than I've ever wanted anything, B."

She breaths in sharply, as if she's been holding it for ages under water. Then she releases it, the sweetest of smiles colouring her milky skin, her glittered eyes tantalizing yours with the most innocent of seductive looks. It's breathtaking.

Without another word, you close the gap between your lips once more and gasp when you feel her slide your pyjama bottoms down until they are off and thrown somewhere carelessly on the floor in your room. Now you are both just in your knickers, you instantly feel closer, causing you to pull each other closer together, if that's even possible.

It's like discovering the world again; the skin to skin contact on every part of your being sends shivers and fire through every inch of your body. Her arms wrap tightly around your back, her hands roaming recklessly, feeling as much as they can in the time that you have. Her hand moves softly back in between your legs and as the pads of her fingers dance there, you push ever so gently with your left thigh between hers.

You are taken aback when she finds your right hand on her cheek and slowly guides it towards her naked breast. You hover above it, afraid to touch because it almost seems forbidden. She finds your chin with her finger and brings your eyes together.

Its okay, she whispers through her eyes, I want you to touch me there.

The feeling is foreign to you and for a moment you are scared of doing the wrong thing, or making her feel uncomfortable rather than good. After all, it becomes a responsibility, making her feel good and you don't ever want to abuse that. Her soft moans and harder kisses tell you she was right – that everything is okay.

It's like having a conversation through kisses. Kisses and touches. By biting softly down on her lower lip, you're telling her you want every last inch of her. By moving your thigh upwards, you're telling her you want to make her feel good. By running your tongue along her line of bottom teeth, you're telling her you want to taste her because she's beautiful and you love her and she fits so perfectly with you together like this.

You forget whatever it was you thought you were insecure about - the rough skin on the tops of your thighs, the little layer of fat that covers your womb, the valley in between your breasts – because none of that seems important now. When her hands roam freely up your thighs, the only thing you're thinking about is how good it feels. When her fingertips trace the freckles over your lower belly, the only thing you're thinking about is how beautiful she looks beneath you. When her lips press to the valley in between your breasts, the only thing you're thinking about is how much you love her and how much she loves you. This girl, who doesn't see the cracks in your foundation, who doesn't notice the insecurities you protect around your body, who doesn't care that you have 'worthless' and 'stop' carved into the skin on your right thigh. This girl, who is blind to everything that is all you can see. This girl, who makes you forget and makes you become a girl who is beautiful. A girl with no flaws, no insecurities and no fears. This girl, who makes you the only girl in the world.

She raises herself so her kisses can float down to the scars are on your left arm. You rise with her, sitting on your knees, watching her lips press so softly on the places where pain has marked your body. Once every scar has been touched, she gently takes your head in her hands, kisses you once, and applies the lightest of pressures on your shoulders so you fall into a tender cocoon of feathers and love. You look up at her and smile for she is the most beautiful thing you think you have ever seen.

Her kisses start to butterfly down your neck, across your chest, above your abdomen and over to your right thigh. Her lips press a little harder on your 'worthless' and 'stop' scars, lingering longer than the others. You feel her lips hovering gently above them and when she exhales, her soft breath cascades them with protection and comfort. You know you will never touch your legs that way again.

When you sense her hesitation, you sit up and are met with her tear-filled eyes.

"Baby?" You say, cupping her cheek with your right palm. You want to say something else but nothing seems good enough.

She locks eyes with you and after staring intensely for several seconds, she wraps both her arms around your shoulders and nestles her head into the crook of your neck.

"I'm so sorry," She says, into your neck.

"Britt?" You say, kissing her hair, "No regrets anymore... just love. Please."

She breaks away from you and looks intensely in your eyes again. You wipe away a lone tear that escapes them one more time and then you kiss each of her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead and then finally her lips and you tell her, "I love you so much. I love you so much that every moment I'm not with you, I feel like everything is done with half as much effort and with half as much fun. Even before I knew you felt like this, I've always known that it's better when it's with you. It's better when I'm with you and when we're doing stuff together. It's always been better that way. Otherwise, I just feel incomplete. I knew it was love; I always have. But you, Brittany..." You pause to lift her palm to your heart. She frowns before settling her hand on your chest and letting another tear fall from her beautiful eyes. "You will always be the only person who makes my heart beat faster, louder and stronger than ever before."

She does that funny smile then where she curls both her lips inwards and cocks her head slightly to the side, before sniffing once and capturing your lips in the perfect kiss.

"I love you," She tells you, pulling you in for another hug, "And I promise my love is stronger than the scars on your leg. I really, really promise."

You kiss her hair again and softly pull both of you backwards, so her head is resting on your chest.

"Turn over," You instruct, twisting her so she is facing the wall. She does as you say, so you curl behind her, fitting your arms around her waist and finding her hand to grip it tightly. You berry your face into her neck, kissing it so lightly, it makes her visibly shiver all the way down her spine. "I'll always protect you."

She freezes momentarily before turning back around and wrapping her own arms around you, her long legs perfectly intertwined with your shorter ones. Her head rests above yours and after she kisses the top of it, squeezing tightly, she whispers firmly, "No, San. We'll always protect each other."

...

"I need you to calm down, San." She says, staying seated on your bed and looking at you with those ocean blue eyes that seem to speak thousands of stories.

You smash your right fist on your bedpost and grunt angrily. You close your eyes because you don't trust yourself with words right now. You grip the bedpost and try and tell yourself to breathe. Breathe in and breathe out. Breathe in and breathe out.

"Fuck this," You mutter, and you have no idea what you're actually fucking, (no pun intended).

"San," You hear her whisper. It makes her feel bad when you swear and you know that.

"I'm sorry, Britt." You say, letting your head drop. It starts to shake and its only when you feel a little dizzy that you realise it's in anguish and frustration.

"Baby, come here." She offers, her arms opening on the bed. You follow because you suddenly feel like being absolutely no where but home. Somewhere no one can hurt you. Where you're safe and where you're not alone. Somewhere like Her.

You snuggle deep into her arms, nestling further and further into her as you can. "They're never proud of me."

She shifts slightly before hugging you tighter and kissing the top of your head. "That's not true."

"Yes it is." You argue, sniffing. "Since I've been home, they've made it very clear that they're disappointed and mad at me and all I've done is try and make it up to them, even though I'm useless and it just seems to make things worse. I want to be happy so bad, Britt. I've found all these auditions, I've gone to them with my own money, making my own way, without anyone with me and when I do well, they just say that's good and carry on with whatever they were doing before. My mom doesn't even look up from what she's doing half the time... I just want her to be one of those moms that calls you as soon as you're out, or wraps you in a big hug when she sees you so you can jump around together about the fact you did well in something you haven't done in ages." You stop because you know you're getting to upset over nothing. Complaining about your mom has never got you anywhere.

"You're not useless," Is all she says, pulling you closer still.

"Sometimes, B, I am." You reply softly, encircling her waist with your arms. "I can't seem to find a good enough job, either for me or my parents. I have no idea what I actually want to do right now. I know, completely for sure, that I want to write music. I want to write forever because it defines me... It helps me understand myself but it's so hard to get into and I have no idea where to start. And I want to act. I want to act more than anything. To be in shows, in plays, in performances anywhere – TV, Film or on the stage – and just have fun. Do something that I love. They want me to have a normal job and I know it's stupid but I just feel boring if I do that."

You stop when you realise what this is really all about and she senses it, reaching for your chin to bring you close to her face. "San?" She asks, looking deep into your mocha eyes, "When it all comes down to it, what do you actually want? If you were told you could either have your dream job or you could work in any old job but be incredibly happy, what would you choose?"

You know what your answer is before she's even said it. You know that you're really angry at yourself more than anyone else. You know that, after everything is stripped away and left bare for the world to see, it's your pursuit of happiness that makes you feel like this.

"Any old job but being happy." You answer, glancing down briefly at her lips and back up to her eyes.

"And what's being happy to you?"

You lean a little closer so your lips brush. You inhale heavily, closing your eyes so you feel her as well as smell and taste her. When you open your eyes again, you breathe in deeply and sigh out a breathy, defeated, "You. It's all you."

She smiles slightly to herself before raising her right hand and tucking your loose hair behind your left ear. "I guess you have your answer then."

You frown because even though you know that you do, she still doesn't know why.

"Because," She continues, leaning towards you, "I'm never going anywhere."

It comes out of you too fast before you can stop it but she doesn't mind. She finds your lips and traces them with the pad of her thumb as your whimpers come out in separate bursts of relief. For as long as you've known you've loved this girl, there has always been a small part of you that denied everything and persisted in convincing you she was lying and she was never going to stay. You think to yourself how incredible she is and how much happiness there already is in your life. Happiness that gives you all the answers you need. Happiness that makes you feel balanced and okay. Happiness that makes you both invincible.

"I love you," You say, kissing her thumb as she continues to stroke your lips.

"I love you too, San." She replies, leaning forward to kiss you so her thumb is pillowed in a bed of lips. "You're going to be okay, baby. You're a beautiful person, never forget that. You're so true, to me and to everything you do. And I think, because of that, you can do anything."

"Oh, Britt..."

"And," She says, pulling you back into her arms, "You can write for me whenever you want. All day if it'd make you happy, okay?"

You nod; retrieving a pen you know is on your bed somewhere. Once you've found it, you find her left arm and write,

Gelukige – you are my happiness.

I love you.

And on her right,

I want to write about you,

Because like writing,

You define me too.

...

"You know the way buttercups shine yellow under your chin if you like butter?" She says, rolling over so you're facing each other.

"Yeah,"

"Well," She begins, lifting her right palm to place her fingers under your chin, "Do you think if I held my heart underneath yours, it would shine bright red?"

You laugh because it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever been asked. Then you're both laughing because, really, how could a heart shine red?

"Of course, baby." You reply, kissing her fingertips through small fits of giggles. "Of course."

...

You lie there, trying so hard not to wake her with your sobs. They're breathy and muffled from being released into a pillow and it's all you can do not to release your stomach and let it all just rack out.

But you can't. You know you can't because she's sleeping so peacefully and it's been so stressful for her the last couple of days. She doesn't deserve to have your wallowing self pity lumbered on her plate as well.

You breathe deeply, nestling your head further into your pillow and tightening your grip on the duvet, all the while telling yourself to stop. Stop this stupid crying and go to sleep. Because it's not worth crying over. It's never been worth crying over.

The duvet rustles beside you and you stiffen, cursing yourself for disturbing her slumber. You wait until it dies down and then you breathe out, accidentally emitting a restricted choke jolting both you and, apparently, the girl beside you.

"San?" You hear her soft voice and you just collapse inside.

"I'm sorry, Britt, go back to sleep." You tell her, pulling the duvet closer.

There is silence and stillness for a while before you feel her shift slightly and move across so she is directly behind you, spooning you into comfort. Her arms encircle your waist, her hands gripping your own, as she softly kisses the back of your neck – that place that makes you shiver every time – breathing soft caresses of love and tenderness.

"Think of me as your bed, baby." She whispers, pulling you closer to her body. Her warmth. "I'll wrap you up and protect you, without ever judging. I'll keep you warm and safe when you're sad and most importantly, I will never, ever leave you. I promise you that."

You are so overwhelmed and so exhausted, that you cry even more. Her hold tightens and you have to bring her hand to your lips so she knows how much that means to you. Because it does. It means the absolute world.

"I'm sorry," You repeat, breathing in deeply.

"I said think of me as your bed." She scolds slightly, kissing your neck again. You shiver. "You never, ever have to apologise to me. Because you can do me no wrong."

...

The fireplace makes this time warmer, you notice, as she hovers above you, gently kissing the corners of your shoulders and the indentation in your neck. You feel it on your naked body, the way the flames emit a heat that reacts so intoxicatingly with the heat of you and her. It's not sticky and sweaty though; it's perfect.

Her kisses move down your chest, along your abdomen, grazing your hip bones before they reach your inner thighs. You know where she's headed and where she wants to go and you know that, for the first time, you have no worries about it. You want her there. You want to feel her lips on your most intimate places. You want her to taste you just as much as you want to taste her. You want her in every way imaginable.

Her fingertips toy playfully with the hem of your underwear and when her head appears at your face again, you open your eyes, curious.

Her eyes are dancing with a cocktail of excitement, pleasure, and anxiety, glitter and stars bouncing off the walls around you. She smiles carefully, glancing briefly down at your lips before returning to your eyes again.

"Can I?" She asks, her fingers edging further under your pants with every breath.

You can't move for a second because you can't believe she's just asked you something like that. It's so considerate.

You smile lightly, lifting yourself up so you're closer to her. "You can do anything to me."

The way she looks at you then tells you that you said the right thing. When you're lying back on the carpet, and her hands are gently sliding your underwear down your legs and off your ankles, you find a lock of her beautiful blonde hair and grip onto it, as if it's a lifeline to her love-making.

When she's back to lying on top of you, both of you completely naked and vulnerable to the world, you find her lips and trace them with your thumb. You're so close, paper would struggle to come between you.

Her hand is on one of your breasts, whilst the other is playing with your hairline. Yours are fixed tightly on her back, one of them softly stroking up and down, causing her to shiver every once in a while. She rests her nose on top of yours and breaths in the scent of heavy kissing and spontaneous love-making.

"You're beautiful and I love you and I never want you to forget that." She says, kissing your lips. "That was me, making love to you, because that's all I want to do, for the rest of my life. Just me and you, making love until the world ends."

"Okay."

"Plus," She says, smirking playfully, "You taste super good."

You snort because it's the silliest thing you've ever heard; you could not taste nearly half as good as she tastes.

Please review if you have the time and thank you for reading! Poppy x