Chapter 1
Lily still remembers it like yesterday when she ran through the corridors to her dorm room after her fall out with her then best friend – Sev – Snape. She sighed and rolled her eyes, just thinking about that memory made a lump form at the back of her throat. It was also the time when she had told James Potter that she would rather go out with the giant squid in the lake than with him. She was glad that school year was over, and she got to go home soon after the incident, getting a chance to ignore both Snape and Potter. She had spent most of the summer in her room, crying, which made her parents very worried. When Snape had come over that summer, Lily remembers shutting the door in his face after telling him not to visit her anymore since he had chosen the path he desired, and she had chosen hers.
In the middle of summer, one night, Lily had received a letter via an unknown owl which was as dark as the night. She remembers opening that letter and at first, she did not recognize the handwriting, she went ahead to read the letter, almost half asleep.
Evans, the letter read, I am so sorry what happened that day after O.W.L.S. I never intended it to accelerate to that level, neither did I want you to get caught up in all of that. I have spent most of my time since then thinking that you must be hurting still. Maybe still crying, and I hate to think that I am the reason you are crying, or that you are crying at all. I will make sure it never happens again and though you might not forgive me ever, I hope someday you stop hating me. The letter was not signed but Lily knew exactly who wrote it. She couldn't believe that James Potter was actually apologizing, the guy she considered nothing more than an arrogant, bullying toerag. The same James Potter who would annoy her with constantly trying to flirt with her and show off.
At first Lily considered not responding to the letter but she couldn't hold herself back from pulling out a small parchment and her quill. She wrote back quickly, James, It isn't entirely your fault what happened that day. Though I do hope you mend your ways. Lily. Tying the parchment to the owl's tiny legs, Lily watched the owl take flight and disappearing in the darkness over the horizon.
When Lily had woken up the next day, she believed she might have imagined the whole situation with James Potter sending her the letter and apologizing in the letter, until she felt herself holding something in her hand. She had fallen asleep holding the letter James Potter had sent her. Lily still kept the letter hidden in her possession, though she couldn't figure out why she could never get herself to throw it away – maybe it was because that was the first actual, civil, conversation she ever had with James Potter.
Lily hated to admit but she waited for the rest of the summer for James to respond but the letter she was waiting for never came. She found herself lying in her bed, late at night, looking out the window, waiting for the dark owl to approach her, which never came. She found herself questioning why she was waiting for a letter from James Potter? She also found herself thinking if she had been too harsh on James Potter when she asked him to mend his ways? After all that day he had stood up for her.
The day she had to board Hogwarts Express for her next year, Lily had been very excited, much to the surprise of her parents and herself, given that she had returned extremely sad and in tears last year. She was hoping for a better school year, and given that she would not be wasting her time defending Snape, she could be enjoying a lot more with her friends who had been just as worried about her.
When she boarded the train and after the prefects meeting where she was greeted by a smiling Remus Lupin, Lily settled with her friends Dorcas, Mary and Alice; she watched as James Potter, with the three of his friends, Remus, Sirius and Peter walked past their compartment. James Potter had looked at Lily as he was walking past their compartment and stopped dead in his tracks, he opened his mouth as if to say something, while his hands reached forward to open the door of the compartment and Lily hated that her heart almost leaped and she had to hold herself back from spring up from her seat; but James had slowly lowered his gaze, dropping his hands to his side, looking at his shoes. He turned his face straight ahead and walked away from Lily and her friends.
"What was that about?" Dorcas mumbled in a low voice, Lily noticed that all her friends were exchanging puzzled glances. "Looked like he was coming in to see Lily" Alice shrugged, and Lily dropped her gaze. "Why didn't he? He has never stopped before" Dorcas was right of course, James would always run his long fingers through his dark hair and smile as he would say "Alright there, Evans?" but not today. "Maybe he has finally wrapped his head around the fact that Lily is not interested in him" Mary sighed. Lily bit her lower lip and then looked up with a smile. "I am looking forward to this school year" she spoke happily, it felt like she was finally getting her wish fulfilled, James Potter was no longer bothering her, but then why was she not as happy as she thought she would be? Her friends exchanged glances before they agreed with her and all of the awkward silence faded away once the banter started between the girls.
During the feast in the grand hall, Lily sat with her friends at the Gryffindor table, with her back towards the Slytherin table, ignoring Snape effectively. She did not want to talk to him, look at him or talk about him and it seemed that he was happy with his crowd – Lily was happy for him. When James and his friends finally came to the grand hall, Lily shifted her gaze on her food. For the second time in the first day back to school, James stopped right in front of Lily and opened his mouth but closed it just as quickly and without as much as a smile, he walked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. This time none of Lily's friends said anything about it.
Lily noticed that James and his friends were talking to the first year Gryffindors animatedly rather than pulling any pranks like they usually would. They were answering their excited questions and comforting the unsure 11 year olds. What had happened to the James Potter Lily had seen growing up in this very hall? He looked so different – not physically – James had not changed one bit over the summer, only his annoying smirk was replaced by a – heart-warming smile. 'Heart-warming?!' Lily was shocked by her own thoughts. James turned his head in Lily's direction and when he looked straight in her eyes, heat started rising to Lily's cheeks and she looked away quickly. Not daring to look his way the entire evening after that.
"You all go ahead, I will meet you in the common room" Lily told her friends after dinner. "Alright" Alice smile as she linked her hands with Dorcas and Mary, who smiled before they left for the common room. Lily was going to escort the new Gryffindor students to the common room with Remus Lupin like last year. "Hello Lily" a soft voice spoke, "Remus" Lily smiled and got up from the bench. "How was summer? I did not get a chance to speak with you on the train" Remus smile, "Summer was great" Lily responded. "Shall we?" Remus asked, and Lily noticed a group of new Gryffindors looking at Remus and her. Lily nodded, "This way please" Remus instructed the first years and Lily started walking beside Remus as they led the first years through the grand hall.
The astonished look on the first year students face was priceless. It made Lily smile brightly as she watched them pointing towards the moving painting or the staircase. "Be careful now, the stairs like to change" Lily spoke softly. She remembered how this was precisely her reaction the first time she walked in these corridors and next year would be her last year walking in these corridors. It was surreal to her – this whole world – even though she has been a part of it for six whole years. She could not believe that a world like this existed and she was a part of it, no matter how small. No matter how painful that one memory was of last year, the happy memories she had created here were always going to win over that one sad memory. Hogwarts was her home and she loved being here, as a matter of fact she loved this place more than her home where she grew up. She was treated here as a normal person rather than as a freak like back at home, and although there was a war going on right now, she would never give up this place just to be safe.
"This is the Gryffindor common room" Remus started explaining the first year students, but his voice faded in the background when Lily's eyes fell on a certain black haired boy. He was sitting with his friends on the couch as usual. This time it wasn't this boy who caught Lily looking at himself rather it was Peter, who at first just smiled at Lily and then very subtly gestured Sirius to follow his gaze. "Oi Evans!" Sirius smirked, bringing Lily out of her trance. James threw a dirty glance at Sirius. "I mean, Hi Evans" Sirius corrected himself, without dropping the smirk. Lily was baffled at James and Sirius' reaction and for a moment did not know what to do. She thought it was better if she would just drop her gaze and focus on her duties rather than the pranksters.
"Mind if I ask you something?" Remus asked Lily as they walked back to the common room after patrolling the corridors for the last time for the night. "Sure, go on" Lily smiled looking up to Remus. "I noticed you looking at James" 'Shit!' Lily thought to herself, "Are you waiting for him to talk to you?" he asked. How does Remus Lupin always know what was the other person thinking? "No" the words came out of Lily's mouth as soon as Remus finished his question. It did not sound convincing at all, not even to herself.
Lily had to look away before her cheeks turned the same color as her hair. "He – seems different" Lily confessed in a low voice. "Because he is not talking to you?" Remus jested, and Lily shook her head, rolling her eyes as she supressed a smile. "No, he is not joking around" Lily replied. "He would not go around hexing anyone" Remus looked straight ahead, "Why? He used to enjoy doing that" Lily sighed, much to her surprise, her voice sounded accusatory and she immediately felt guilty about sounding that way. "I didn't mean –" she started correcting herself. "He did enjoy pranking people" Remus nodded, "Do you believe people can grow up?" Remus asked Lily. "Of course" Lily nodded, her brows creased together. But could James Potter grow out of his habit of being arrogant and a show off?
"James is not the same person you have known until now" Remus told Lily, "In fact, he has always been very different than what you see on the outside, but he has matured even more" Remus said it with so much respect in his voice for his best friend, it made Lily curious just what did she not know about James Potter? What was it about him that made Remus so grateful for him to be his friend? "So you mean he is not a prat?" Lily jested, "He might be arrogant, but he is not a prat" a playful smirk played on Remus' lips, which was a very rare sight. "But his heart is always in the right place" Remus completed.
Lily and Remus had become good friends since last year when they started their prefect duties together. He was the only one of James' friends that addressed Lily by her first name and who Lily addressed by his first name. He was the only one who was not annoying to Lily and was friendlier than the rest.
"Well, Good night" Lily said once they reached the common room, "Good night Lily" Remus responded and the two of them proceeded to climb the stairs on the opposite end of the common room leading to their dorm rooms.
A/N: Hey Readers,
This is my first attempt at writing a Harry Potter fanfiction. I was initially going to write a one-shot but I got inspired to write more. I would be uploading shortly. Leave me a review till then, let me know your thoughts. Don't forget to hit that follow and favourite button if you like the story. Thanks!
-JT