You probably don't know this but I'm not really as confident as everyone thinks I am. It's all an act. A petty, misguided act. They say to "fake it 'til you make it"…

I still haven't made it.

It's as if I'm the only one who sees my flaws. Everyone thinks I'm this perfect and pristine girl. In reality, I'm just a girl. I can look in the mirror and pin-point all of the things wrong with me as quick as the snap of my fingers. My lips are too small, I'm not very shapely and my eyes are dull and too far apart.

This is all my opinion, but people (mainly guys) seem to think differently.

Of course I am labeled for my personality defects but why is it that nobody sees my physical imperfections? They look over them and compliment me relentlessly. They shower me with presents and endless urges to go on dates. But there is something that truly bothers me.

Why?

I constantly cry out for help. Not out loud!- But I give slight clues… They just look over them. They never seem to notice.

I'm so confused. It hurts to think anymore. I could feel the wires in my brain throbbing for a break. But I can't stop. I continue to search different sections of my mind for the answers I so desperately needed. I've been sitting quietly on the floor beside my bed for hours now, trying to my best abilities to come up with excuses as to why they were treating me as if I was special.

I wrapped my arms around myself, pretending it was someone else holding me. I needed someone- anyone to just encircle me with love and compassion- something very few people are willing to give.

I shut my eyes tightly and day dream. I rub my hands firmly up against my arms. Realizing I was cold I sat up and stretched from the floor. I lie down and hug my pillow.

"Brittany." A cracking voice urged. It sounded more like a sob.

The call seemed so distant yet so near. I fluttered my eyes open and silently cursed the person who awoke me from my pleasant sleep. I wipe the possible drool of my cheek and around my mouth and look up from my pillow.

"Brittany, please wake up." Someone sobbed once more.

I sit up in my bed resting my back on the board and waited for my vision to return to normal. The person soon came into focus.

"Alvin?" I said sluggishly. I wiped my eyes with both palms and blinked a few times. Yea it was him…

He was here… In my bedroom… Crying his eyes out. Yes, I gave him a key to my house, but I didn't expect him to actually use it…

"Are you… Crying?" I tried to keep the laughter out of my voice but failed miserably. I knew that if Alvin Seville cried it was something serious but I just couldn't help myself. I bit my lower lip hard in hopes that the pain it caused would make me stop laughing.

He had his head down in his hands. He was kneeling by my bed so I got a very clear message when he looked up at me. The message said 'Shut the fuck up' and that's just what I did. A light gasp escaped my lips as I got a full view of his condition. Red, puffy cheeks with tears that lingered in his blue eyes. I could now see his pain and suffering. The wanting, the lingering passion waiting to burst. He wanted to talk, I could feel it.

Well, whatever it was, I was beyond ready to listen.

I quickly pulled myself up to my knees and took both his hands. I heaved him onto the bed. He sat cross legged in front of me.

It was intense.

The tears continued to fall from his red cheeks. I also sat Indian style waiting for him to speak. When he never did, I decided to make the first move.

"What happened?" I whispered placing my hand on his.

"That bitch. She cheated on me." He placed both arms around his body as if trying to hug himself. He put his head down again. His whole body shook with each sob of misery. My thought process went into over drive.

Maybe he needed someone to hold him… as much as I needed someone to hold me.

With that in mind, I reached over and hesitantly took him in my arms. He instantly hugged back. I could feel His warm touch rubbing in the small of my back while he cried softly into my understanding shoulder.

I needed this- we both did.

I began to shed a few tears myself. Seeing him break down in front of me of all people really tore my heart. He would never cry in front of me. So why now? Why didn't he go to some other friend's house? It's true we are best friends but we are also enemies.

Last time I checked, enemies don't break down each other's arms. I'd love to see the day when Batman and The Joker share this type of display of endearment.

I could feel him pull away. Though I yearn for his touch again, I didn't argue.

I felt a lot better. I smirked and got up from my bed. I walked over to my bedroom door and slipped through the crack.

"Wait. Where are you goin'?" I heard his cocky voice bellow from the doorway.

I snickered. "All back to normal." I muttered to myself. "I'll be right back." I shouted waving him off. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I returned with chips and kool-aid. Holding the cups tightly, being careful not to spill the red liquid on my white carpet. I laid down a cheap blue towel at the foot of my bed and sat there, waiting for Alvin to sit next to me.

He laughed at my shabby attempt at an indoor picnic. I laughed with him.

"Food?" he asked skeptically.

"Yea. Food always goes great with grieving." I scooted over and made room for him on the towel.

"Aren't you on a diet?" He grinned and crossed his arms.

I shrugged. I let out a small 'humph' and picked up my drink. "Oh and by the way, If you spill any of that punch on my carpet, I will kill you." I stated nonchalantly from inside my cup.

He playfully rolled his eyes at my humorous threat. He plopped down in his seat and began to eat some chips.

We talked for hours. Not once did I regret setting up the last minute picnic.

"Were you lonely?"

"What kind of question is that?" I snapped getting defensive. But only because the answer to his question was a big fat 'yes!'

"I mean… why did you hug me?" He said redeeming himself.

I thought over the question before smiling. "Cuz you looked like you needed one." I shrugged. "No need to thank me. I'm just a nice person and besides a girl can't hug her best friend?" I teased nudging him in the side.

We almost never hugged.

"True, true." He nodded, tilting his head in a sarcastic manner. "Now, why don't you tell me why you really hugged me?"

I sighed in defeat. Usually I would fight back and urge the lie but decided to let this one slide. It was only fair that I tell him the truth after he'd put all his sufferings out in the open.

I shrugged uncertainly and began to ask my endless questions. "I don't get it. Why would they look over all my flaws, when they know I have them. Now that I think about it you're the only other person who really notices them, seeing as how you point them out every chance you get." I lightly snarled at him. He turned away with a sheepish smile. "I just needed someone to treat me like a person and not just a future trophy wife. Why do they act as if I'm perfect? Why do they do that?" As I continue to ramble he forms a frown on his face.

"Why do they build you up?" as I asked my last question his head snapped up and he looked at me with much seriousness.

"So that in the end tearing you down will be all the more fun." He said through a bitter-sweet smile. It scared me a bit. I knew he was most likely referring to his situation with his girlfriend. She had acted as if she loved him and then cheated on him with his best guy friend. What a rough spot.

I gave him a sympathetic smile and caressed his cheek. He looked back at me and softened his once dark eyes.

I guess in a way, when you don't think about it so hard, the answer is staring you straight in the face.