Well, now that my first year of college is officially over, I just wanted to wind down with some fanfiction writing. I'm trying to return my inspiration for my chapter stories, but in the meantime, I'll also be uploading numerous one-shots/small stories to keep my mind working throughout the summer. This piece is just a small Morgan/Reid fic, nothing too special, just fic inspired by college ending this year and my experiences throughout. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Criminal Minds.
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The morning had been hot. Extremely hot. Morgan decided to cut his run shorter than he would have liked to jog back to his dorm room, grabbing his key from his pocket as he went. As he reached his door he cracked his neck, feeling his shirt, semi wet with perspiration, gently peel off of the skin on his chest. Sniffing, he unlocked and opened the door, and at once noticed his roommate at his usual position on his bed.
"You know, your only supposed to use your bed for sleeping and sex, otherwise it supposedly ruins the comfort of the bed for sleeping and destroys your sleep cycle or something like that," Morgan notes, then he chuckled. "Man, I'm starting to sound a bit like you."
His companion didn't even look up from his work.
"Spencer, come on," Morgan huffed, stepping over past the threshold of the entryway and closing the door behind him with an audible click. He walked further into the dormitory, rubbing at his neck slick with sweat from the day's sweltering weather, shivering with barely repressed delight as the air conditioning of the room finally began taking affect to his over-heated body. "You've been studying non-stop for this practical ever since it got assigned. We've had three months to study. You're ready."
Reid hardly took notice to his roommate's frustration, keeping his eyes downcast and focused on the workbook in front of him, mindlessly sticking the pen cap in his hand under his upper lip. His anatomy book was sprawled open to a specific page (the deep muscles of the back, to be exact) next to him on the bed covers, and countless pages of notes, painstakingly highlighted and underlined and so perfect, were strewn at his feet. The workbook lay balanced on top of his cross legs, concave upwards as Reid jotted down another answer.
"Speeeence," Morgan drawled, abruptly ending his whine as he plopped down face-first onto his bed, feeling his muscles contract and relax as his body met the mattress.
"You should probably take a shower before you lay down," Reid replied, never taking his gaze away from his work. "Do you know how disgusting an average college student's dormitory is? How many germs can pass through and infect our immune systems? Did you know that the amount college students with meningitis has actually increased since-"
"Okay, okay, okay," Morgan immediately sat up, waving his hands in surrender. "I get it. I'll shower if you'll shut up."
"Thank you," Reid muttered, biting the pen cap.
"Pretty Boy, honestly though," Morgan said, his voice dropping into something more serious. "Could you please take a break?"
"Can't," Reid answered shortly. "I have to do this. Upperclassmen in admissions warned me that this is the hardest practical to take. Insertions, actions, names, as well as these workbook problems-"
"You've already got all of this memorized and sorted in that big ol' brain of yours and that workbook looks just about finished," Morgan fired back, casting a quick glance at the section Reid was working on. "Come on. We have another week before practical, and you've done everything you can to prepare. And not to mention you're armed with a photographic memory."
"Eidetic memory," Reid corrected.
"Whatever," Morgan said. "You're going to be amazing, you know that."
"That may be," Reid nodded distractedly, thumbing the ballpoint pen in thought. "Regardless, I still have papers to revise for English, a persuasive speech for Communications, lab questions-"
"All of which are due in more than a week's time," Morgan cut in firmly, narrowing his eyes at the tiny frown that came across Reid's features at being interrupted. "You have the time to take a break, Spence. You have the time to take a freaking day off, you..." Morgan trailed off, setting his jaw once he realized that this argument was falling upon deaf ears. He sighed deeply, leaning forward, resting his elbows onto his knees. "The point is... We hardly ever do things together anymore."
Reid halted his writing and closed his eyes. "Derek-"
"No, listen. We haven't gone out. You don't come and hang out with our friends even for lunch anymore. I hardly see you anytime outside of lecture and here. And even here, I can't even watch TV after a long day!"
"It ruins my concentration," Reid murmured, scribbling another answer onto the page. "Plus, you know the statistics of binge-watching television and the effects on academic performance are-"
"Reid, will you take your eyes off the damn book and look at me?"
Perhaps it was the use of his last name, which by now was never a good sign, or Morgan's tone, which took a turn for the dangerous kind of exasperation, the kind that said he was no longer playing or in the mood to not be taken seriously. Whatever it was, it caused Reid to pause in his research, and slowly the younger boy marked the page he was working on with his pen and closed the workbook, placing it on top of his textbook. It was only then that he finally looked up to meet Morgan's eyes. The older boy clenched his teeth at the sight of his roommate's bags and dark circles, the sclera around his normally vibrant and now dull hazel irises pink from sleep deprivation.
"Kid, school's not everything," Morgan muttered. "And I understand that you're an honors student and that anatomy, while it's hard, isn't the only thing you got going on, but Spence... You're killing yourself over this. You need to take a break."
There was a long moment of silence between the two boys, each wrapped up in their intense stare-down. Reid was stock-still, and Morgan refrained from twitching in anticipation over Reid's lack of response.
Then Reid opened his mouth, his chapped lips smacking, and whispered, "Weren't you going to take a shower?" and promptly grabbed his workbook and reopened it, submerging himself in the anatomy material once more.
Morgan gritted his teeth and dropped his head, fighting to breathe past the lump in his throat. He stubbornly kept his eyes dry. He nodded, even though Reid was no longer watching him, and stood. The room was utterly silent, save for the gliding of Reid's pen across paper and the shifting of pages being turned. Morgan grabbed the ready towel and change of clothes from his desk, and turned away from Reid, disappearing into the bathroom.
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He had been out for a while, simply wandering around the large campus, trying to keep his emotions in check.
It worked, for the most part. Taking walks, observing his fellow classmates as they lived their lives from his position on random benches, watching the campus ministry dogs roam around the quad, their owners watching them closely, meeting with Hotch and Emily and Penelope for lunch in the cafeteria, all of these helped calm him down.
But it was hard to maintain a decent level of composure when his phone kept buzzing in his pocket. He checked at first, and felt his heart drop whenever he read Reid's name flashing across the screen, indicating a new message.
Where did you go?
Come on, this is ridiculous.
Could you at least bring me back a mocha frappe?
Derek could you please come back?
Derek
I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want me to say?
Come. Back. I mean it.
He didn't answer to any of these. And after a while, he shut his phone off, slipping it back into his pocket. He knew that this was a childish and immature solution to the issue between him and Reid, but it was the only way he could think of in the moment to allow himself a few minutes of peace and some time to think. He was in no mood to be chastised for something that he couldn't possibly be in the wrong for.
He'd just give Reid space today, and later, when Morgan hoped he wouldn't have a head full of hot air and a heart full of hurt, he'd return.
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It was evening by the time his key turned in the lock and he walked back into his dorm room. Reid quickly glanced up from his position at his desk, where he appeared to have migrated to from his seat on his bed. The notes were spread over the table surface, and the workbook was open. Morgan fought back a confused frown; it was open to the same page that it had been open to this morning.
"You're back," Reid said simply.
Morgan pressed his lips together, giving a stiff nod. "I'm back."
Reid nodded back. "Good."
Morgan sighed, hanging his hoodie on his closet's doorknob. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife, almost palpable. He couldn't take it, he needed an escape. "I'm going to hit the head, and then I'm going to bed."
Reid didn't answer, opting to turn back to his work.
Morgan scoffed and made his way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He did his business, and afterwards, as he wiped his newly washed hands on a towel, he observed himself in the mirror. He watched as his brow quirked up in his reflection; he hadn't realized that he looked so angry. He blew out a large breath of air, closing his eyes and rubbing them roughly. He felt the heaviness of sleep creeping up on him, and he dropped his hands with a light slap to his thighs.
His reflection didn't look much better; exhaustion was evident in his features, and rather than looking angry, he just looked sad.
Morgan sighed, and stepped out of the bathroom.
He furrowed his brows at the change of scenery before him. Reid's desk lamp was turned off, and the notes and books were now neatly stacked and closed, pages saved and pens capped. The chair was pushed into the alcove underneath the table. And Reid was sitting cross-legged on his bed, hands clasped in his lap, nervously observing Morgan.
"Spence?" Morgan said, emphasizing the unspoken question through his tone. He had expected for Reid, like every other night before, to settle in for the night behind his desk, hunched over and writing corrections or answers. This was different.
Reid blinked, pursing his lips together as he swallowed, shakily exhaling before opening his mouth to speak. "I couldn't do it."
Morgan blinked. "Couldn't do...?"
"I mean, you left," Reid said, wringing his fingers together as he continued. "You left, and... All I could think about, all that I could focus on, was whether or not you were coming back. And it's irrational, I know that, we're roommates after all, but... You know?"
Morgan found himself nodding, even though internally he was a confused mess as to where Reid was going with this. Reid seemed to deem Morgan's response satisfactory, for he began speaking again.
"I was worried, and so I tried to work on my homework again and... I couldn't. I just stared at the same page all day. I couldn't bring myself to pick up the pen and finish it," the younger man chuckled brokenly, running a hand through unkempt hair. He exhaled sharply suddenly, and sniffed.
Morgan felt his heart drop. "Spence-"
"I can't focus when you're not here, Derek," Reid whispered, chancing a glance up at the other boy. "I couldn't find the answers. For the first time, my mind was muddled and scattered everywhere, and I couldn't focus. Do you know how rarely that happens to me? And how scary that is for me?"
His voice was thick with tears, and his eyes glimmered in the dull light of the dorm room. Morgan walked forward those last few steps, slowly sitting next to Reid on his bed. Though the circumstances were serious, they relished in each other's presence. They drew comfort from having the other close by, though if Reid's quivering breaths were any indication, that comfort could dissipate rather quickly.
"I need you, you know," Reid muttered. Morgan turned to look at the younger boy. Strands of unruly hair kept Reid's face hidden from sight. "It may not seem like it most of the time, but I do. I do need you. And that's why... That's why I'm going to try harder. I'm going to try giving myself breaks from working all the time. I'll try to put some time aside for our friends, for you, for us."
Reid turned to look at Morgan at long last, the strands of hair slipping down past his left eye. Morgan met his gaze steadily. Reid offered a wavering smile and huffed out a breath of bitter laughter.
"I just... I don't ever want you to leave like you did this morning ever again," Reid said. "I'll lose focus. I'll lose sight of the answers, whether they're for school or just for us. And I'll get scared. And... I don't want that. I need you."
Reid's eyes eventually overflowed, and a few stray tears managed to slip down his reddening cheeks. Morgan couldn't take it anymore, and he reached out and gently brushed away the strands of sandy hair covering Reid's face, tucking it behind his ear. Reid watched all of this with a scrutinizing stare, his bloodshot eyes watery, and biting his lip to keep it from trembling. Morgan paused, and moved his hand toward Reid's mouth, thumbing Reid's bottom lip until the younger boy finally released it from between his teeth.
Then, with only a blink as a warning, Morgan leaned in and kissed him.
It was soft, barely a touch of the lips. But it was reassuring, warm, secure. Like Morgan was trying to get it through to Reid that he was there, and Reid received that message loud and clear, eyes fluttering shut in bliss. It was a gentle peck, then another, then a third, and before they knew it Reid was on his back, Morgan settled between Reid's open thighs, their mouths sliding together hungrily. Tiny gasps and broken moans escaped the two, their hands wandering over their clothed backs and torsos. When they finally pulled apart, panting, and Morgan caught sight of the small shadow of uncertainty in Reid's expression, he smiled.
"I need you too, Spence," Morgan said, nudging Reid's cheekbone with his nose. "You infuriate me to no end, but God, I need you."
"I'm going to try," Reid whispered, his eyes closing again. "I'm going to try, I'm going to try. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Shhh," Morgan murmured, kissing each of Reid's leaking eyelids tenderly. "Stop talking now." He kissed Reid's lips, and they got lost in each other once more.