Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
A/N: Yeah, this is another depressing one-shot. For those of you who are patiently (or impatiently) waiting for me to update my story, I have most of it written, but then I thought of this one-shot, and I just had to write it.
Just in case you're totally confused on when this takes place, it's after Edward leaves, but Jacob never enters her life. She never wakes up.
Please review and enjoy!
Maybe this was okay. Maybe jumping isn't a bad thing if it will make me happy. My mother always told me that all she would ever want for me is to be happy. That, seeing me smile, would make her proud. I knew that this wouldn't make her happy, but it made me smile. So that had to count for something.
Smiling wasn't okay. Well, maybe it was, but I just haven't smiled in so long; it's become wrong. It's odd to feel my cheeks turn up from the stationary position they'd been in. As odd as it was, I just couldn't stop. More that, I didn't know how to halt my movements. The adrenaline in my veins was far too distracting for me to remember how to stop anything.
Especially my slow moving steps towards the end of the cliff; especially that.
Edward would be mad, I suppose. I'm breaking my promise. But, quite honestly, it's only fair. He swore it would be as if he never existed. He swore that it wouldn't hurt. But everything I do is because he does exist, and every movement I make hurts. How is that fair?
My hands started to shake in anticipation. Would it hurt? How long will it take before my heart stops beating? How long before it gives up? How long will it take before I give up?
I stopped abruptly and closed my eyes tightly; my hands clenched into fists at my sides. I'm not giving up, I thought. This is not giving up. I'm not giving up because I wasn't even trying. I opened my eyes again and began moving at a slower pace towards the edge of my life line.
Alice will be sad, and Esme. I let loose a hysterical laugh at the irony of Esme and me. She jumps off a cliff, and is saved by her soul mate. I jump off a cliff and I die.
Then I though of Charlie and paused. I was his only family left. He was the brightest light in my life, other than Edward. How will the news affect him? I closed my eyes again, and let my head loll back. Charlie will be okay, I thought. He's tough. He survived several years without me; he can do it again.
Pushing any thoughts of my family behind me, I set my head up right, but kept my eyes closed. My heart increased its pace as I started walking again.
I wondered if Alice was seeing this. I wondered if she saw me every time I woke up screaming yet again from a nightmare, sweating and panting. I wondered if she even cared that everyone at school called me a freak, and that I was deserted by all of my friends. I wondered if she saw how I lost 30 pounds since they left. I wondered if she Charlie and I screaming and yelling at each other as we argued about my 'moping'. I wondered if she even saw.
I desperately hoped not. That way, I knew that they really had moved on and I wasn't making a huge mistake. But six months is a long time. They hadn't contacted me in six months, and I took it as the final answer: they don't care.
My conclusion didn't hurt as much as it should have. I just kind of sat there on my bed and thought about the only thing I could feel was gravity. Maybe it was because I already subconsciously knew this. Or maybe because I was far too lost in nothing to feel the pain. Either way, I never felt that pain…until now.
The pain only made me want to walk faster; to end this faster. But I had one last person I needed to consider before I can finally enter oblivion.
Edward, my angel.
I felt my feet reach the edge, and I immediately stopped. I opened my eyes, and marveled at the dark, rainy sky. It was pouring down rain and the wind whipped my hair in my face, but I didn't care. The chilly wind was giving me goose bumbs, but I hardly noticed. I was too distracted by the raging waters below me.
The way each wave got higher and higher, as if calling to me, begging for me to jump.
I love Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. And even if he doesn't love me, I will never back down. I will not surrender the truth. He cut me to the core, shattered my heart, severed the reason for living.
But I will love him for eternity.
This one's for you, I thought.
Closing my eyes, I let go of everything and jumped into the escape I desperately needed.
A/N: Review please! :D I'd love to know what you think of my second one-shot.