Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine.

A/N: After reading about DC's upcoming relaunch and other recent storylines, well, just a little fun. I'm most familiar with the Flash world, so the view's a little slanted.

"Life just hasn't been the same since the crisis," Wally West noted reflectively as he tipped his beer bottle back and forth.

"Which one?"

"Huh?"

"Which crisis?" Roy Harper asked taking a sip of his beer.

"Infinite. I mean, crisis on multiple earths was great. Well, not great-great, because Barry did die and all, but, heck, I became the Flash. And I was a kick-ass Flash. Still am."

"Damn straight."

"But then infinite crisis happened and I was written off. I mean, I get that it was Bart's turn to wear the red pajamas. And it really wasn't his fault that the readers never quite accepted him. He had been doing really well as Kid Flash. He seemed to have finally found a spot after the Impulse thing."

"Yeah, they screwed both of you over, but at least you didn't wind up dead."

Wally shrugged. "That's true, but Bart's back now. After final crisis, I got my hopes up with Barry coming back and all, but it's been nothing but a major disaster."

Roy nodded in agreement. "See for me, infinite was pretty good. I got a whole new life. Red Arrow. Part of the JLA. Finally some real respect. Got to hang out with Hal and Dinah and everything. Even Bats wasn't treating me like some sort of protozoan scum."

"He never treated you like that," Dick Grayson noted.

"And Wonder Boy finally speaks," Roy replied sarcastically. Dick scowled. "You know, you really don't have a right to say anything. Your life hasn't been completely screwed up to the hilt. After final crisis, I lose my arm, my daughter's killed, I'm back to being a drug addict and you're the god-damn Bat. You actually got promoted."

"I was supposed to die in infinite," Dick noted quietly.

"But instead you get nursed back to health by Babs, take a world cruise with Bruce and Tim, move to New York…" Wally glanced at Roy. "Am I missing anything?"

Roy smirked. "No, but if he had been killed, maybe he could've come back from the dead as screwed up as Jason did. Perfect Robin number one a deranged psychopath. Think of the storylines."

"Jason's not that bad."

"Do you just automatically defend any current or former member of the Bat family?" Roy demanded. "It's like psychological with you. Can't say anything bad about Brucie, or Tim, or even fucking Jason?"

Dick ignored him. "Being partnered with Damian isn't all it's cracked up to be. The kid is annoying, irritating, stuck-up, doesn't listen-"

"Says the man who is in how many monthly titles?" Wally asked.

"Yeah, well, that's changing soon. Bruce is back and he's soon to be the only Batman again."

"Ooo, you get demoted to Nightwing. Big fucking deal. The Bat suit never really fit you anyway. Too much of a damn optimist to play Mr. Dark and Gloomy." Roy pointed his beer bottle at Dick. "You need to be Nightwing."

"Yeah, well, I got completely screwed with that entire dead and back again routine," Wally stated. "Don't get me wrong, I love that Barry's back, and the potential, all the would-have, could-have, should-haves are endless. The possible storylines…" Wally shook his head. "We could have been set for years. But somehow I got majorly screwed. Hal comes back and the GL world actually gets better. They even bring Guy back as a GL. Hell, Kyle even had his own series for awhile and then is automatically incorporated into the GL world when that series ends. The whole Sinestro Corps War story…they all had a role, especially Kyle and Hal. Kyle, Hal's replacement. But Barry comes back and it's truly a where in the world is Wally situation. Big Flash storyline, a chance to highlight all the speedsters, and it's Barry, Barry, Barry. Completely not fair."

"You know, dude, I am really trying to feel for you here, but daughter dead and drug addict just seems a bit more unfair than your situation."

"But at least you're still in a monthly title. I lost my title, the Titans and the JLA. I'm lucky if my name is even mentioned. Again, Hal comes back and does Kyle fade into obscurity? No. Barry comes back and it's what you do mean there's another Flash besides Jay and Barry. Christ."

The threesome grew quiet. Roy rolled the beer bottle between his hands. "You know, I think things really went downhill for you after the twins. My life has been up and down for years, even though this recent patch is the worst. But you…you haven't really had a good groove since those twins were born."

"There's nothing wrong with my kids."

"I'm not saying there is. It's just that I think your problems started before infinite. Hell, I bet infinite tried to deal with your problems by getting rid of all of you and giving the title to Bart…except it didn't work out for Bart so they brought you back to try to save the title and managed to fuck that up, too."

"Hey-"

"No, Wally, Roy sort of has a point, even if he isn't stating it in the most diplomatic of ways. You have to admit that things have been a little rough since the twins were born."

"So, I'm supposed to wipe out my kids?"

"Well, no, that would be truly tragic. No parent should outlive their child. Roy can attest to that. But apart from Irey, didn't you say almost all the Flashes you met in the future when you and the other speedsters fought Cobalt Blue were mostly Allens? Were there any Wests besides Irey?"

This time Wally scowled.

"You know, if they tried any of this shit with Supes or Bats, they'd be out on their asses. I mean, did anyone actually think Bruce had really died? Get real, he can't die. Just like Robbie here can't die. Wal, face it, you and I are completely expendable."

"Roy, I am not safe. I-"

"Dick, give it a rest. You are about as safe as can be. Timmy and the little demon, too. Hell, even Jason is safe. The fact is, if you're adopted by Bruce, your life is set in more ways than one. Same for the original JLA members. They may die, but eventually they all come back."

"Should be the same for the original Titans," Wally noted dully.

"I'd agree with you, but I'm not an original member." Roy took a swig of his beer.

"You are to us," Dick said. Wally nodded.

"Whatever." Roy leaned back in his seat. "You know, I heard a rumor that Peter Parker is going to bite the dust. Maybe we should see what Marvel has to offer…"

A/N: Here's hoping Wally and Roy find/reclaim their spots in the DCU soon.