Hello HxH world! I am so pleased to be posting my very first HunterXHunter fic, featuring our very own Gon and Killua! For those who don't know, I've got a slew of Yu Yu Hakusho fics already (check them out!), so it only seems natural to visit Togashi's other brainchild.

Two notes: 1. This fic will most likely have long periods between updates (I'm thinking every few weeks) so if you like what you see hit the follow button so you get updates on when I post. 2. I haven't decided on a rating, so please keep an eye out as it is subject to change. That said: read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own HunterXHunter, but I'm really excited that I get to write this disclaimer about it.

Gon only ever looked at Killua when he wasn't aware of it.

Of course, he had to look at him sometimes, when they debated on their next course of action, when they glared at each other for something innately juvenile, when one of their moves was dependent on the others. But these were just looks; never during these moments did Gon ever let himself see Killua.

There were two reasons for this, one of which being he had learned very early on that Killua hid what he felt when he thought he was being studied. The second reason was less simple. It hadn't really occurred to him why he avoided looking at his friend too openly when he was younger; it simply wasn't something he found himself comfortable with. It took years of near constant companionship, then devastating separation, and then reconciliation before he was able to pinpoint what exactly led him to keep his eyes away.

He only put the pieces together when he realized how much he loved watching Killua sleep.

There was a safety in looking at his sleeping features, knowing that the other wouldn't return his look with a questioning one, knowing that any expression which crossed it would be genuine. When Killua slept, he looked again like the child he was when they first met.

In the moment that Gon became aware of this, he found himself suddenly afraid.

After that, it became harder to look at him in those smaller ways. When Killua would serve him a playful punch, he found himself shying away grumpily rather than returning the gesture, or if he did, returning it without the other's subdued restraint. When Killua would tug on his hand to show him the way, he would yank back, stepping in front of him to keep his eyes from view. When Killua would grace him with an honest smile, Gon would feel his chest tighten unbearably.

Sometimes he wondered if Killua ever felt similarly.

Even so, there was no place he would have rather been than at Killua's side, or rather, than have Killua at his. There was such comfort in having him there, something that he realized after having been apart for so long he had taken advantage of. Especially while the other slept.

It had become a habit, like many things had in their long history together, to share their space as much as any situation would allow. When they sat together to eat, they would do it side by side or find their legs tangling together under the table in a half-hearted war. When they bathed, it was not uncommon for one of them to follow the other into the bathroom, brushing teeth while the other showered, talking as much as a mouth full of toothpaste would allow. When they slept, and when either it was called for or convenient, they sprawled out on the same bed, oftentimes waking up in a mess of limbs and untidy hair.

Gon had always been quick to sleep, but more and more often he found himself awake in the middle of the night, staring up at the ceiling before daring to turn to the side and take in the features of his closest friend. He always did, though, as if drawn in by a magnet of infinite force. Killua had always had a magnetism to him, had always been someone he was drawn to. He had known that the moment they met; though he had never told the other that. Then again, he didn't think he had to.

While asleep, Killua held everything that Gon wished to see in him. When he slept soundly, his face was peaceful. When he had a nightmare, his whole body shivered in fear, face contorting into an agonized shape that Gon had never seen on him when he was awake. It was very rare that he would sleep talk, but when he did it was usually out of exhaustion, and it was usually about Gon. He never made much sense, but it made the black haired teen smile nonetheless. More often than not, Killua slept slightly curled onto his side, his hands palm down against each other cushioning his head. Gon wondered why he found such comfort in the feeling of fingers against his cheek.

When a thought like that would pass through his mind, he'd find himself fighting against the urge to reach out and touch him. He knew, mostly from experience, that any touch with intention would wake him. Killua had grown used to his tossing and turning (he too had been a restless sleeper as a child), but whenever someone touched him with meaning he'd be wide awake within seconds. Gon wondered how much of that his parents had instilled in him and how much of it was his own mechanism for defense. Even so, that fact alone was the only thing keeping him from reaching out and replacing the pale boy's fingers with his own.

When day would break, hours after the young Hunter wrestled with his brain back into sleep, he'd find himself wondering what had caused such a desire within him, especially since he couldn't even look at the other. All the while, Killua went blissfully oblivious, waking with an exaggerated yawn, putting too much time into deciding on his outfit for the day, chatting excitedly about what sorts of goodies they'd hunt down for breakfast.

Gon looked away as the boy stretched, his arms over his head, taunt. He gazed for a moment before focusing on his clothes when Killua turned his back, slipping out of his nightshirt and exposing contoured shoulder blades. He stared ahead and focused on the thought of pastries and cereal while not imagining the way his friend's face would light up at the sight of such treats.

Gon never looked at Killua when he was aware of it. He made damn sure not to.

If only he could put the rest together and figure out why, he wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of Killua noticing.

After all, losing Killua was the last thing on his mind.

Next chapter will be from Killua's POV. Leave me nice words if you like it so far!