Title: With you
Author notes: This is a slash story which it means boy on boy love so if you don´t like it skip it
Set after Fannysmackin´
Song by Rascal Flatts
Set in Nick´s POV
"I can almost hear your voice in the morning
Softly, whispering my name
And I can almost taste the sweetest of your kisses
And I can feel you touching me again
Oh, I´m getting so good at playing make believe..."
Whiskey, bourbon, scotch, wine, beer, pain pills, sleeping pills, nothing helps excepts you, but you are gone, gone and I´m pretty sure I´m loosing my mind and I´m also sure I couldn´t care less, they can all go to hell, I have you now so...
They speak to me, they try to tell me that you wouldn´t want this for me that you loved me so much that you would wish for me to get better.
How in the fucking hell do they think to come to me speaking in your name? Like I didn´t know you? Like it was their husband who was murdered by those monsters.
Are they that stupid to think that I´m going to come back to work? That I care?
I just want to stay here with you, with my memories, with my pain.
" I can almost talk to your memory
Oh, I can almost smell a trace of your perfume
The one you always wore just for me
We´re together; we´re together in our room
Yes everything is like, just like it use to be
And I´m getting so good at playing make believe..."
You´re smiling at me, and I´m happy, you´re drinking with me, you´re in my arms, safe, and I want just to stay that way, screw the world, the innocents, they´re not anyway so, you were alone nobody help you, so why would I help someone?
Gris is here and he´s yammering about understanding the grieving proccess and I want to punch the dumbass I´m not grieving I´m defeated, I´m insane, and I´m gonna stay that way because you´re here and I can almost...
"That I can almost talk to your memory
Oh I know, I been clinging (I been clinging to) to some old memories
Yeah but I don?t care (I don?t care)
Because they are bring, bring you back to me
And I love my memories..."
Because I have memries is because I´m still breathing my mom came and I threw her away, she had the nerve to tell me that it will all go away, I slammed the door so fast that she was stunned.
Sara is the only one that comes close to understand she just sits here with me and doesn´t speak, she has her own memories to drown on.
We smiled at each other and it feels so real because you´re here with us with me and I can almost...
"I can almost pretend our love ever ended
And that someday you´ll be coming back to me
And Oh I´m getting so good, oh baby, at playing make believe
That I can almost talk to your memory
Oh I´m getting oh so good at playing make believe
That I can almost talk to your memory
To your memory..."
You start to vanish and my body is screaming at me to stop it that you can´t dissapear, and yeah I want to be with you so much that the almost isn´t enough...
So I close my eyes and pull the trigger...
And now I´m with you.
And everything is better.
The end