Disclaimer – The rights of Total Drama and it's characters belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network and all associated with the show. No profit is being made from this fanfiction, I am simply being rewarded with the unbridled joy of writing.
Author's Note – This fanfiction takes place directly after Total Drama: Pahkitew Island. This fanfiction will be located on Camp Wawanakwa (which I am going to pretend didn't sink at the conclusion of Season Five) and contain all of the original contestants (including Alejandro, Sierra and Blaineley).
This fanfiction will also contain spoilers for Seasons 1-6 of Total Drama, so be warned if you have not caught up to speed with the show. The winners from previous seasons will be as follows: Owen, Duncan, Heather, Cameron, Mike, Shawn.
This fanfiction is rated T. There won't be anything too graphic except for minor swearing and sexual references.
That's all for now, I hope that you all enjoy my new fanfiction: Total Drama Back to the Basics!
Chris MacLean stood on the worn Dock of Camp Wawanakwa, fussing about his appearance as usual. He stood frazzled, trying to perfect his hair.
"How's my hair? Is it perfect?" Asked Chris to an off-screen cameraman.
"We're rolling." Grunted the cameraman. Chris quickly composed himself.
"Greetings to one and all! I am Chris Maclean, bringing you our seventh season of Total Drama! We've been stuck on an Island. We've been to the movies. We've been around the world. We've been exposed to toxic radioactive waste, and we have thrown it all together! But now, we have returned for our seventh season, and I can promise you, it's going to be triple the trouble!" Said Chris, rubbing his hands together maniacally.
"We're back at our favourite campsite, Camp Wawanakwa!" He said, gesturing to the well-known campsite behind him, where Chef Hatchet burst out of the mess hall, chasing a raccoon with a chainsaw and screaming profanity at it.
"Yeah, it's a little more run-down then last time. But I think that's what's going to make this season so much fun!" Said Chris.
"Anyways, our initial plan was to axe all of the veterans and bring in yet another whole new cast of campers. However, the polls indicated that the fans wanted a season with all the veterans of Total Drama, and so all twenty-five of them were more than happy to come and compete again! And also, they were contractually obligated to do so." Laughed Chris.
"For those of you who are fans of the new cast, do not despair! You'll see all of your favourite newbies at some point this season, whether it's just as a cameo or they might possibly join the game! Who knows? Anyways, now for the big reveal." Said Chris.
"Fans were so excited that all of the veterans were coming back for another crack at the money, that donations started pouring in. Our first thought was that we should improve the living standards for the contestants, but why do that when we can rebuild my private cottage that Duncan destroyed last season?" Asked Chris, and he gestured to an even more extravagant cottage located on the beach.
"Anyways, in addition to that, we've had such an expansion in our budget, that now, the contestants will be competing for a grand total of TWO million dollars! Double the money means double the stakes and double the drama! Who will go down? Who will rise from the ashes? Time to find out on the debut episode of Total Drama: Back to the Basics!
(Theme Song)
"Now that we're all more familiarised with the stakes of this season, it's time to introduce our contestants." Said Chris, as the first boat arrived with the first contestants.
The first two contestants to step off the boat were two girls, one of them was tanned, thin and tall and the other was pale, pudgy and short. They were wearing the exact same clothes, despite their physical differences. The two girls were squealing with anticipation.
"Katie, Sadie, welcome back for another crack at the million!" Said Chris. Katie and Sadie squealed and ran over to hug Chris.
"Katie! It has been sooooo long since we've been back here!" Squealed Sadie.
"I know right! It has been forever since we competed!" Cried Katie.
"Katie, Sadie, our crowd's favourite BFFFFLs. You two haven't competed since the very first season, and some fans are wondering if the two of you are going to be a little rusty." Said Chris.
"Oh, definitely not. Katie and I are, like, totally going to take the game more seriously this time, and, like, try to help our team and stuff." Said Sadie.
"Oh, totes. We're definitely going to go far this time round!" Said Katie enthusiastically. Chris chuckled.
"You keep thinking that, girls. Anyways, on with the next contestant!" said Chris. Next, a tall guy with a green shirt and black jeans carrying a guitar stepped off the boat.
"Trent, our resident heart-throb! So good to see you again, man." He said, bumping fists with Trent.
"We haven't seen you since your brief tenure as Team Captain in Season Two ended in insanity, humiliation, heartbreak and your elimination. Tell me, how are you going to get back on the horse?" Asked Chris.
"Well Chris, all that insanity happened so long ago, I feel like I've grown from that and I can take the game more seriously now." Said Trent.
"Especially now that you don't have a girlfriend to throw challenges for anymore?" Asked Chris teasingly. Trent stammered.
"I'm just messing with ya, Trent, you big lug! Go stand over there." Said Chris, and Trent anxiously went to stand by Katie and Sadie.
The next person to step off the boat was an incredibly beautiful girl with long blonde hair and baby blue eyes. She lifted her sunglasses and went to go greet Chris.
"Hi, Chip!" She said cheerfully. Chris groaned.
"Really. Lindsay? You've been on four seasons on my show, and you still can't remember my name?" Cried Chris. Lindsay was confused.
"What did I say?"
"Chip. My name is Chris."
"I thought I said that?"
"Ugh, never mind, moving on. Lindsay, last time we saw you was in Season Five, when you were the first eliminated because you thought the game was too difficult and you voted yourself off. Tell me, are you going to go down the same road this time?" Asked Chris.
"No, of course not! I just really missed my boyfriend Taylor-er, Tyler during that season. But now that Tyler is going to be with me this season, I should be fine!" Said Lindsay cheerfully. Chris rolled his eyes, and Lindsay went to go join the others, hugging Trent, Katie and Sadie.
The next boat didn't arrive, but in the distance, everybody could see a guy with a cowboy hat and a pink Hawaiian shirt on a jetski, pulling behind him a blonde girl on a surfboard.
"Hey everybody, Geoff and Bridgette are coming in to pull some kind of stunt! Knowing Bridgette, this should be very interesting." Said Chris. Geoff soon stopped the jetski, and Bridgette did a flip onto the dock. She landed on her feet, but immediately stumbled, however Geoff caught her.
"That. Was. Amazing! Babe, you are, like, the best surfer chick ever!" Cheered Geoff, and the couple proceeded to engage in one of their trademark smooch-sessions.
"Geoff and Bridgette, everybody, and their thoroughly mixed saliva samples." Said Chris sarcastically. Bridgette blushed and broke away from Geoff.
"Sorry, Chris, just got a little carried away."
"I can tell. Now, Bridgette and Geoff, what's ruined you in the past is your inability to keep your tongues out of eachothers mouths, or in Bridgette's case, other people's mouths." Said Chris. Bridgette blushed bright red and Geoff frowned.
"Low blow, Chris dude. Not cool."
"I would take that back a million times if I could, Chris. But Geoff and I are going to take the game more seriously this time, and we're not going to let anyone get in the way of our relationship." Said Bridgette.
"Boo-yeah! We're gonna be a couple of millionaires by the time this game is over!" Said Geoff. Bridgette smiled, and the two went to greet the other contestants.
The next boat arrived, and off it came a short, pudgy girl with her bushy, brown hair pulled into a short ponytail and a green shirt. She squealed in excitement and proceeded to hug Chris.
"Beth! Our resident geek, how's it been going?" Asked Chris excitedly.
"Oh my gosh, Chris! You have no idea how excited I am to be here again!" Said Beth, spitting little bits of saliva all over Chris. Chris wiped his face.
"So Beth, you came so close to winning in Season Two, but narrowly lost out to Duncan. How are you going to change your game-plan this season?" Asked Chris.
"Well, I think what got me so far in Season Two is that I played a nice game and everybody could trust me! So I think I'll do that again, and hopefully I can win!" Said Beth. Chris stared at her blankly.
"That was not the answer I was looking for." Beth ignored him and went to the other side of the dock, where she and Lindsay embraced, squealing.
"Oh my gosh, Beth! I haven't seen you in the longest time!" Squealed Lindsay.
"I know! I so hope we're on the same team this time!" Cried Beth.
The next boat soon arrived, and it arrived with a large Jamaican man who looked quite intimidating at first, but the illusion was lost when a bird fluttered onto his shoulder and he cooed affectionately.
"DJ! One of our fan-favourite veterans! How's it going buddy? Injured any more animals since we last saw you?" Said Chris.
"Ch-Chris, that wasn't funny. So many animals got hurt because of me in Season Three. I'm still getting over it." Said DJ, his voice wobbling.
"Aw, is somebody about to turn on the waterworks? Is somebody about to cry?" Taunted Chris in a baby voice, until a hand slapped him in the face.
"Not funny, Chris." Snarled a goth girl with teal hair.
"Nice to see you too, Gwen." Groaned Chris, rubbing his cheek.
"Thank goodness, a familiar face." Sighed DJ in relief, giving Gwen a huge hug, which she gladly returned.
"Nice to see you again, Deej." Said Gwen.
"So Gwen, now that you've broken up with Duncan, who's your target guy going to be this season?" Asked Chris. Gwen glared daggers at him.
"Do you want another slap in the face?" Snarled Gwen.
"No, hey, no, I was just asking." Said Chris, and Gwen and DJ made their way down to the Dock, where most of the other contestants were eager to greet them.
"DJ! Man, it's been forever!" Said Trent, giving DJ a hug. Then he made eye contact with Gwen, and he quickly dropped his eyes to the floor. Gwen sighed, but she was quickly hugged by Lindsay and Beth.
The next boat arrived, and off it came a short guy with brown hair and a vest.
"Look everybody, it's Noah, our favourite book-worm!" Said Chris.
"Spare me the introduction, Chris, I'm only here for the money." Said Noah.
"Well, you may be forgetting this, Noah, but you are, in fact, under contract. So yes, you will stand here and answer all questions I ask you." Said Chris passive-aggressively. Noah scowled.
"So Noah, you haven't had a great track record for success since you've been competing. Tell us, how are you going to change your game plan this time?" Asked Chris.
"I'd be an idiot to give up all my secrets, Chris." Smirked Noah, and he progressed to the other end of the dock. Chris scowled.
"I really don't like him." But he was quickly scooped up by an overweight teenager with blonde hair.
"Woo-hoo! Chris-freakin'-MacLean! Man, it is so good to see you! I missed you so much, did you miss me?" Asked Owen, cheering.
"Oh, I was counting the days to see you again, Owen." Said Chris sarcastically. Owen didn't pick up on his sarcasm and went to go greet the other contestants. He hugged them all one by one, until he got to Noah.
"Oh, man! Noah, my buddy! I missed you so much!" And he picked Noah up and squeezed him tightly.
"Did anyone else hear that crack? That would be my spine." Groaned Noah, gasping for breath.
Soon, the next boat arrived and a short teenager with brown hair and a gap between his teeth stepped off the boat cautiously.
"Cody! You've racked up quite a fan-base since we saw you last, many of them female! Interestingly enough, most of them received death threats afterwards. I wonder who could have sent those?" Asked Chris.
"Well, Chris, I—" But Cody couldn't even finish his sentence before he was tackled to the ground by a tall, tanned girl with purple hair.
"CODY!" She shrieked, showering his face with kisses.
"H-Hey, Sierra!" Said Cody, his voice muffled by Sierra.
"Alright, lovebirds, stand up please!" Asked Chris. Sierra picked Cody up-bridal style.
"Sorry, Chris! I was just so caught up in the Cody-ness! But now that we're together again, I'm never going to let you out of my sight!" Cheered Sierra. Cody gulped.
"Well, Sierra, last time we saw you, you went a little nutso!" Said Chris.
"Oh, silly Chris, that was just because I was deprived of my sugar-frosted Codio! Now that we're together again, I know that I can go far again!" Said Sierra, squeezing Cody.
"Sierra, please put me down!" Groaned Cody. Sierra obliged and the two walked over to the other contestants.
The next boat arrived, and off it sprung a blur of green and orange.
"Behold! It is I, Izzy the Great, and I have returned to claim the prize!" Cheered Izzy.
"Welcome back to one of our fan-favourite characters, Izzy! What have you gotten up to since we saw you last?" Asked Chris.
"Well, I've gotten up to some really crazy stuff, I got into a fight with an armadillo, then I found a cure for cancer, and then I lived in a tribe in Papua New Guinea for six months, and then I got married in Vegas, only to learn that the wedding was a complete phony, and—"
"Alright, I think we've heard enough. Moving on!" Izzy sprinted to the other side of the dock, and landed in Owen's arms.
"Big O! Izzy missed you so much!" Purred Izzy, but Owen looked down at her sadly.
"Come on, Big O! Don't look at me with those puppy dog eyes! Just because we broke up doesn't mean we can't be friends!" Said Izzy.
"Best friends?" Asked Owen.
"Forever!" Said Izzy, and Owen cheered, holding her above his head.
"Aww, isn't that just the sweetest, Cody? Maybe we could best-friends-double-date with them!" Asked Sierra.
However, before Cody could protest, all the contestants heard a rallying cry from above them, and looked up. There was Tyler, gliding towards them on a hang-glider, waving. However, it wasn't long before he began to spiral out of control, towards the other contestants. All the others screamed and ducked out of the way. Tyler plunged into the ocean, and Chris was doubling-over in laughter.
"That…was…by far…the BEST…entrance anybody has ever made!" Cried Chris, wiping a tear from his eye. Lindsay frantically rushed over to help her boyfriend as he climbed onto the dock, dripping wet and shivering.
"Tyler! Are you okay, baby?" She asked, her big blue eyes wide with concern.
"I'm fine, babe. Not even a scratch!" Said Tyler triumphantly. Lindsay cooed and the two began to kiss passionately. Most of the contestants silently seethed with jealousy.
The next boat to arrive contained a girl with tanned skin, brown hair and a purple blouse. She batted her bangs, and walked reluctantly over to Chris.
"Courtney, our resident C.I.T! Last we saw of you, you were floating away in a balloon filled with copious amounts of methane!" Said Chris. Courtney shuddered.
"I'm going fine, asides from that little escapade." She said.
"My bad!" Called Owen.
"Anyways, who are you planning to throw under the bus this season?" Asked Chris. Courtney widened her eyes in fury.
"I'll have you know that I'm planning on redeeming myself this season. I've made a lot of mistakes—"
"Ain't that the truth." Muttered Gwen.
"But I think that wrongs can always be made into rights, so I hope everybody will forgive me." Said Courtney.
"That is, if they don't vote you off first." Said Chris. Courtney ignored Chris' comments and went to join the other contestants.
The next boat arrived, and most of the contestants screamed when they saw what it brought. A sickly, demonic thing that seemed more monster than man pounced off the boat, glaring maniacally at the rest of the contestants.
"Seriously, Chris? You decided to bring that…thing back here? Even after he tried to kill you?" Asked LeShawna.
"And more importantly, Cameron?" Cried Gwen.
"I admit, I was thinking about leaving Ezekiel out of this season. However, I then realised how much it would torture the rest of you, and the price I had to pay seemed small in comparison!" Said Chris. He then noticed Ezekiel curiously sniffing his shoe.
"Yo, Ezekiel! Is the concept of modern English still lost on you?" Asked Chris.
"Money. Win. Good." Grunted Ezekiel. A voice came from behind Ezekiel.
"Ezekiel likely suffered injury to the Broca's area in the left frontal lobe of his brain, which results in a disruption to the production of speech by loss of function of the muscles that coordinate speech production and articulation." Said a raspy voice from behind Ezekiel.
"Harold, my main nerd! How have you been going, buddy?" Asked Chris, pushing Ezekiel away.
"Pretty good. I just finished a three-thousand piece jigsaw puzzle." Said Harold.
"Well, with those mad skills, what are the chances you'll get the prize this time round?"
"Easily calculable. Assuming the teams are diverse in intelligence, athletic ability and spatial reasoning, and also assuming the merge is exactly half way, that leaves me a one in twenty-five chance of winning."
"That's interesting, but…"
"As a percentage, that's four percent—"
"Okay, Harold, go stand over there." And Harold went to go greet the other contestants.
The next boat arrived, and off it came a woman with blonde hair, blue eyes and in a red dress, who immediately blew a kiss to the camera.
"Hello, everybody! Blaineley Stacey Andrews-O'Halloran here, bringing you the seventh season of Total Drama!" She said.
"Uh, Blaineley, I'm the host! I swear, we already went through this with Topher last time." Groaned Chris.
"Seriously? You let her come back? Isn't the age limit for this show, like, sixty or something?" Asked Trent. Blaineley gasped.
"How dare you! I'll have you know that I'm only twenty-two!" Scoffed Blaineley. Crickets chirped, and Noah's eyebrow raised.
"Okay, fine, twenty-five." And Blaineley went to go stand with the other contestants, most of whom shuffled uncomfortably around her.
The next boat arrived, and off it came a guy with a green Mohawk in handcuffs and an orange prisoner's jumpsuit, accompanied by two policemen.
"I swear, I did not sign up for this *beep* again." Groaned Duncan.
"Wanna go back to the slammer, Duncan? That can easily be arranged." Said Chris. Duncan gulped.
"Now, Mr. MacLean, I'm assuming there is some sort of chaperone present to watch the prisoner at all times, like we discussed?" Said the policeman.
"There most certainly is, officer." Said Chris, with his fingers crossed behind his back.
"Excellent." And the policemen released Duncan from the handcuffs, and they were off.
"So, Duncan, is it true what they say? Does prison change you?" Asked Chris.
"No way in hell am I going back to that hell-hole. And someone get me some freakin' normal clothes so I can get out of this jumpsuit." And he walked over to the other contestants, however nobody greeted him, and looked away anxiously.
The next boat arrived, and off it stepped two of the most sinister presences in the competition, both glaring at the rest of the contestants menacingly.
"Woah, here comes trouble. Here's our favourite evil couple, Heather and Alejandro! Glad to see the two of you are still together. I assumed the promise of more money had driven you two apart by now."
"Nonsense, Chris. We've decided that if we combine our talents, there's no way we can lose. And when we win, we're splitting the money down the middle and taking a million each." Said Alejandro.
"Yeah…that's what we're going to do." Said Heather.
"Are you sure the fact that nobody trusts either of you won't get in the way?"
"Well Chris, both times I have competed I have gone very far." Said Alejandro.
"And let's not forget that I actually won Season Three." Said Heather smugly.
"Let's also not forget that the only reason you won is because you led me on then knocked me off a volcano."
"Let's also not forget that you were stupid enough to fall for it."
"Let's also not forget that the stupid money was burnt in the lava anyway—" Alejandro coughed.
"Yes, we're very happy."
"Sounds that way. Move along please." And Heather and Alejandro went to stand by the other contestants, where Katie and Sadie proceeded to faint over Alejandro's good looks, much to Heather's chagrin.
The next boat that arrived brought an incredibly attractive guy with a green shirt and cargo pants.
"Justin, my main man! I've been looking forward to seeing you again. We need a bit of a boost in the looks department. These ones aren't exactly the prettiest looking bunch." Said Chris, prompting several of the contestants to raise their eyebrows.
"Whatever, Chris. I'm just hoping to take the million as my own this time." Said Justin.
"Well, you know what they say! Looks alone can be worth millions." Said Chris.
"And who says that exactly?" Smirked Gwen. Chris hesitated for a few seconds.
"Moving on." And Justin went to go stand near the other contestants, where Katie and Sadie promptly forgot about Alejandro and began to fawn over Justin, who gladly welcomed the attention.
"Ick. What do they even see in him?" Groaned Noah.
"Are you kidding? What don't they see? His perfect skin, his chiselled features…" began Owen, before realising his statement was attracting some amused stares.
The next boat arrived, and off it stepped an extremely muscular woman with an aggressive stare.
"Eva! It's been a while since you've last competed. How are you feeling about your chances this time?" Asked Chris.
"Spare me." Grunted Eva.
"I'm just saying, after Blaineley, you have competed in the least episodes of all the original cast, with only three under your belt! Do you think that's what's going to hold you back?" Asked Chris.
"Nothing's gonna hold me back. That money is mine." Snarled Eva, and she walked over to the other side of the dock, where she dropped her bag, and it crashed through the wooden planks of the dock.
"Sweet Zeus, what do you have in there? The most dense chocolate cake ever?" Asked Owen.
"Dumbbells, idiot." Snapped Eva.
"Alright, everybody, there's just one more contestant to arrive and we'll be on our way." Said Chris, and a dark-skinned, voluptuous girl with her black hair pulled into a ponytail stepped off the boat.
"LeShawna, our saucy, sassy sister!" Exclaimed Chris, raising his hand for a high-five. LeShawna simply raised her eyebrow.
"Fine." Said Chris and LeShawna carried on. Gwen immediately rushed to hug LeShawna.
"LeShawna!" She cried, embracing her friend.
"Gwen, girl, it has been forever! I missed our little talks, girlfriend!" Said LeShawna, locking Gwen into a hug. However, Harold cleared his throat.
"Sorry, Harold.' Grinned Gwen, and she stepped aside. Harold waltzed up to LeShawna and kissed her hand.
"Come on now, baby doll, give me some sugar." And she locked Harold in a hug, who awkwardly returned the hug.
"Alright, everybody's here now, right? Can we get on with the show please?" Asked Courtney.
"Great idea, Courtney. Everybody, meet at the campfire pit in five minutes!" Said Chris.
Confessional
Owen: Woo-hoo! Back on Camp Wawanakwa! Yeah, what a party! I can't wait for all the new memories! Huh huh huh, maybe I could even win the money again! Wouldn't that be cool? Being a winner…twice? Man, I would be so popular back home. I'd be the only guy in town with TWO cheese cellars!
Katie: Sadie and I are going to take the game, like, way more seriously this time. Like, can you imagine how much shopping we could do with two million dollars?!
Gwen: Why? Why can't I be like Eva, or Katie, or Sadie, and sit out for a few seasons? They haven't competed since Season One, and meanwhile I have been forced to compete every season, and each time I have been trapped in a whirlpool of drama and hatred…well, mostly drama. Arggghh! /kicks a hole in the wall of the outhouse/ …that said, I am really happy to see LeShawna and Bridgette again.
Izzy: /observing the hole in the wall/ Woah, what happened here? Anyways, I am so excited to be back at camp! I have so many good memories of this place, playing canasta in the cabins, dodging the RCMP by hiding with beavers and cuddling with my cuddly bear Owen!
All of the contestants were eagerly catching up and chatting by the fireplace, until Chris silenced them.
"Welcome, to the twenty-five of you sitting here before me, back to Camp Wawanakwa, for our most dramatic season yet!" Said Chris. He waited for a moment.
"I was expecting a chorus of cheers? Applause, at the very least?" Said Chris. Nearly everybody rolled their eyes and LeShawna stifled a laugh.
"Very well then. In honour of the intensity, and awesome-ocity—"
"That's not a word."
"Shut up, Harold. Anyways, in honour of the intensity of this season, it is being dubbed…Total. Drama. Back to the Basics!" Cheered Chris. He was met with silence once more.
"Oh come on! A little applause would be polite! Just one little clap?" Begged Chris. Silence followed. He scoffed.
"Very well then. I'm now going to briefly run through the rules of the competition, for the more independently-minded of you. Lindsay." Said Chris.
"What does independently-minded mean?" Lindsay whispered to Tyler.
"Uh…it means you're the prettiest girl on the show!" Said Tyler. Lindsay cheered.
"I'm independently minded!" She cheered, throwing her hands in the air. Noah stifled a laugh and Heather rolled her eyes.
"For those of you have haven't competed for a while, listen up. Eva." And Chris promptly had to dodge Eva's shoe from flying towards his head.
"Anyways, here are the rules. Soon, all of you are going to be split into teams. Each day, you will face a challenge—" but Chris was interrupted by Gwen.
"One team will lose the challenge…" started Gwen.
"And that very team will go to elimination." Continued Alejandro.
"Once there, they will vote off one of their own." Said Noah in a mockingly dramatic voice.
"The person with the most votes will have to pack their bags…" continued Duncan, who was back in his regular clothes.
"And leave, and never come back." Finished Bridgette.
"Ever!" Concluded Izzy. Everybody laughed and cheered, much to Chris' chagrin.
"Clearly you all read the manual. Anyways, as I was saying before Gwen rudely interrupted me, we will be deciding the teams by this afternoon!" Said Chris.
"So soon? Sweet gorgonzola cheese, Chris, we haven't even had lunch yet!" Cried out Owen. LeShawna slapped his arm.
"Ssh! You'll give him ideas." Hissed LeShawna.
"I am not ready to going back to eating that sludge." Shivered Gwen.
"Hey! Everybody, attention back to me, please! This is my time!" Snapped Chris. LeShawna rolled her eyes.
Confessional
LeShawna: Ooh, that egotistical maniac gets on my nerves. What's the difference between Chris and the devil? Chris combs his hair to hide the horns.
Chef Hatchet: I am sick of slaving day after day for those damn unappreciative kids, only to be treated with disrespect! Damn teenagers, I was treated better in prison!
"So, this time round, we're going to be doing things a little differently. There are going to be an endless number of twists at every turn!" Said Chris. Noah scoffed.
"Your twists are so common that they're getting predictable." He said dismissively.
"Oh, but this challenge is going to be the very opposite of predictable, Noah." Said Chris, rubbing his hands together, and cackling in glee. This was met with mixed responses from the campers. Heather, Alejandro and Eva smirked. DJ, Beth, Katie and Sadie whimpered. Noah, Gwen and LeShawna rolled their eyes. Izzy laughed along with Chris. Ezekiel sniffed Chris' shoes. Owen was so nervous that he farted, which was met with a chorus of "ew!" and "Owen!".
"Anyways, so now for the big reveal. The number of teams this time will be—" but he was cut off by Sierra.
"Ooh! Ooh! I bet that there are going to be four teams this time!" Cried Sierra.
"Why do you think that?" Asked Beth.
"Chris has gone with two teams every season except for Season Three, so that is borderline cliché, but even if there were three teams, there are twenty-five of us, so that wouldn't work! We would all fit equally onto teams if there were five teams, but that is too much, so four sits perfectly in the middle!" Said Sierra. Everybody looked at Chris.
"Was she right?" Asked Beth. Chris hung his head in shame.
"Yes." And most of the contestants cheered. However, Harold still had a question.
"Chris? Even if we have four teams, there are still twenty-five of us, which makes the teams indivisible." Said Harold.
"Indivisible? Does that mean that they'll, like, disappear?" Asked Lindsay curiously. Everybody laughed, and LeShawna put her hand on Lindsay's shoulder.
"Girlfriend, hush."
"Not invisible, Lindsay. Indivisible. They'll be unequal. Anyways, that's an excellent question, Harold, and to answer it, I'll tell you today's challenge. Today, before the teams are formed, one of you will be getting kicked off. Today, not tomorrow, not next week, not in a month, today."
"Okay, we have established that it is today, could we move on please?" Groaned Courtney.
"So, here is how the challenge is going to work. There are four flags hidden all around the island. Once you find a flag, you're going to stay there, and that'll be your team until the merge. There are six people to a flag, so twenty-four team spaces total. And twenty-five desperate losers." Said Chris.
"So it's sudden death. So unpredictable." Commented Alejandro. Chris ignored his comment.
"The first person to find the flag for their team will be the Team Captain, which gives a pretty major advantage, because Team Captains are going to have a lot of governing power this season." Said Chris.
"Of course, if you're not happy with your new team-mates, you're more than welcome to leave and try your luck with another flag. However, that does run a higher risk of being eliminated." Said Chris.
"Anyways, one more thing I should mention; the challenge begins now. So get going." Said Chris. Most of the contestants scrambled for the woods.
Confessional
Bridgette: So we pretty much get to choose our teammates this time. That's a big advantage, but I am kind of worried about what will happen if we lose. Like, how can you choose which friend to vote off? Anyways, my three picks for team-mates are Geoff, LeShawna and Gwen. I definitely trust them over almost everyone else.
Izzy: I haven't gotten a chance to be Team Captain once, but I think I would be the best captain! I'd lead my team straight to the merge! Anyways, I'm not really sure who I would want on my team, but definitely Big O!
Sierra: I know everything about this show, twists, consistencies, continuity, facts, trivia, I even know every skin-care product Chris uses! And trust me, it's a long list. So I should be able to track down those flags easily, I just need to make sure my Cody-Wody is on my team!
All the contestants, excited by the possibility of potentially being allowed to choose their team-mates, quickly split into groups. Gwen and LeShawna immediately paired together.
"Girl, we should go with Bridgette and Geoff. If there are four of us on a team, then we have the majority vote on the team." Gwen bit her lip.
"I'm not sure that's a great idea, LeShawna. If we lose more than twice then we're forced to turn on eachother. And I just don't want to lose any more friends this season." Said Gwen.
"I understand, girl. We'd better get a move on though." And Gwen and LeShawna hustled into the woods.
Meanwhile, Blaineley was struggling to find a partner. She began to approach Bridgette and Geoff.
"Hey, buddies! Just for old times sake, how about we team up? What do you say?" Asked Blaineley. Geoff scoffed.
"Yeah, right. Why don't you, like, kidnap us and send us to Siberia while you're at it." Said Geoff, and he and Bridgette walked away. Blaineley groaned, but then came face-to-face with Ezekiel, who was sniffing her hair.
"Yeah, not that desperate." And she descended into the woods alone. Meanwhile, Eva was about to leave the woods, when Izzy approached us.
"Whoa-ho! Pretty sneaky, trying to get away from us, Eva!" Cheered Izzy.
"What are you talking about?" Asked Eva.
"Y'know, our alliance! Me, you and Noah!" Izzy was dragging Noah along despite his protests.
"That was all the way back in Season One, and didn't it end in you abandoning us?" Asked Noah, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope! I don't recall anything like that! Oh, and we're bringing Owen with us this time too!" Said Izzy, and Owen picked up Noah in his trademark bear hug.
"Great. An extra three-hundred pounds of weight that has to be fed every thirty minutes." Sighed Eva.
"Hey, I'm not a baby! …that said, I could go for some chicken. And a burger. Oh, and extra fries. And maybe a chocolate sundae with extra chocolate sprinkles and—"
"Hey, can I come with you guys?" Asked Justin. Noah raised an eyebrow.
"Really? Even after last time, when you stole a briefcase containing a million dollars from us?" Said Noah in disbelief.
"Justin is our worst enemy. We must make sure he goes down, straight to hell where Satan will torture him for the rest of eternity and—"
"Okay, one step at a time, crazy girl." Said Noah, and the four descended into the woods. Justin sighed, and walked past as Sierra picked up Cody and charged into the woods with him.
Meanwhile, Duncan walked up to Katie and Sadie, who were about to leave together.
"Hey ladies, you need some company in those woods?" Asked Duncan, winking at them.
"Um, why would we, like, go with you? After what you did to Courtney and Gwen." Scoffed Katie.
"Yeah, no-one will, like, ever trust you again." Said Sadie and the two girls walked into the woods.
Confessional
Duncan: /scoffs/ those two girls had no idea what they were talking about. I still have friends. I have…uh…crap.
Sierra: The polls don't lie. After he and Gwen broke up in Season Five, his popularity went down lower than Lindsay's score on a math test.
Everybody was soon separated and in groups in the woods. Heather and Alejandro were walking through the woods together in silence.
"So, if we get to a flag first, then which of us should be Team Captain?" Asked Alejandro. Heather scoffed.
"Me, obviously." Said Heather.
"Heather, my flower, what is wrong with you today? You have not looked at me since we got to the island. Is the money already causing you to have doubts of our relationship?" Asked Alejandro. Realising she couldn't afford to lose Alejandro, Heather smiled and grabbed his hand.
"Of course not, honey." She said, with a little too much venom on the last word.
Confessional
Heather: If I do win the money, I'm not sharing a dime with Alejandro. He won't understand, but boys are temporary, money is forever. Still, I can't afford to lose him as an ally just yet.
Alejandro: /smirking/ I know Heather isn't going to share the money with me, I'm not an idiot. But she needs me too much to cut me loose just yet.
Courtney was poking around the woods, looking for the flag.
"Get your head in the game, Courtney. This is the fifth time you've been on this show, and you will not be eliminated first." Groaned Courtney. Just then, she heard a rustling in the bushes.
"Who's there?" She called out fearfully. Duncan stepped out of the bushes.
"Don't worry, princess, if you're scared, I can protect you." He said winking. Courtney scoffed, and turned away from him.
"Seriously, princess? Hasn't this whole silent treatment thing gotten kinda old?" Asked Duncan.
"First of all, don't call me princess. You lost that right the minute you planted your lips on someone else." Scoffed Courtney.
"You're still feeling bitter about that? That was almost three seasons ago, and Gwen and I are over now." Said Duncan.
"Great, glad to know you sacrificed our three-year relationship for a fling."
"Okay, if you add up all the time we were together over the time we weren't, it's probably only about eight months."
"Eight months of my life I'll never get back."
"Cut the crap, princess. Are we gonna team up or not?" Courtney looked at him flabbergasted.
"Why would I ever team up with you?"
"Because there's a reason that you're alone in the woods. You're not the only one who screwed over the last person who trusted you in this game. And it just so happens it was also Gwen." Said Duncan.
"I would rather be eliminated first then be on a team with you."
"Suit yourself, princess. But if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you want the money more than anything, and you're going to need an ally or two if you wanna survive." And Courtney began to walk away. However as she did, Duncan noticed something in the corner of his eye. A yellow fabric in the tree next to him.
"What the…" he muttered. He saw that it was a flag. He chuckled.
"Hey, princess!"
"What do you want?" Called Courtney from afar. Duncan chased after her, a yellow flag in hand. Courtney saw the flag and gasped.
"You still sure you don't want this?" Asked Duncan, wiggling his eyebrow.
Confessional
Courtney: I will never trust Duncan again after what he did to me, and I would certainly never ally with him. But I do need a team.
Duncan: So, Chris said that Team Captains have a lot of say this season. I could twist this to my advantage. Maybe I'm not so screwed this season.
"Attention, campers! The first flag has been found and two team spots are already taken up! There are still another twenty-two up for grab, so you'd better scramble!" Announced Chris.
DJ and Trent, who were working together, were walking into the forest.
"Don't worry, DJ. There's probably plenty of time to find a flag." Said Trent.
"Knowing Chris, he probably hid the flag somewhere dangerous." Shuddered DJ, but just then, Trent stopped.
"DJ, look!" In front of them was a cave. Trent peered in, but couldn't see more than a few feet in front of him.
"Dude, it's pitch black in there. The flag must be in there." Said Trent.
"You're right!" Said DJ. There was a moment of silence and hesitation.
"What are you waiting for? Go get it." Said Trent. DJ stammered.
"M-m-me? Why me?" Stammered DJ.
"Look at me! What chance would I have against a bear?" Exclaimed Trent.
"You think I have a chance?!" Cried DJ.
"Well, yeah, you took out polar bears, killer whales—"
"That's not funny." Said DJ, frowning. Just then, they heard two voices coming towards them.
"Oh my gosh, Tyler, look! It's Brent and DK!" Cried Lindsay, and she rushed over to greet them, Tyler in hot pursuit.
"Have you guys found a flag yet?" Asked Tyler.
"Not yet. We think there's one in that cave." Said Trent.
"Well, why don't you go get it?" Asked Lindsay innocently. DJ and Trent remained silent.
"No worries, bros. I'll go get that flag." Said Tyler triumphantly.
"Ooh, you're so brave, Tyler!" Cooed Lindsay, cuddling her head to his chest. Tyler began to descend into the cave.
Confessional
Trent: I have to admit, I was kind of worried because Tyler and Lindsay aren't the most useful pair. But hey, how bad could they be?
"Alright guys, I'm in. I'm feeling my way around, I'm feeling—"
"Thanks for the update, Tyler." Chuckled Trent.
"No worries, my main bro." Called Tyler
"Aren't you scared that he'll wake up the bear?" Shuddered DJ.
"Nah, man, if there was a bear in there it would have woken up when we first arri—" just as Trent said that, a guttural roar emerged from the cave, followed by a high-pitched shriek.
Confessional
Trent: /sighing/ I've been wrong before.
"Tyler! Are you okay, baby?" Squealed Lindsay. DJ clamped his hand over her mouth.
"Sssssh! You don't want to let the bear know we're here!" Whispered DJ furiously. Just then, Tyler emerged from the cave with a green flag in hand. He was panting and his red jumpsuit was ripped in places.
"Tyler! Are you okay, baby?" Asked Lindsay, rushing to her boyfriends side. Tyler lifted the flag in the air, before promptly collapsing.
"Well, I guess we're a team now." Said Trent nervously
"Attention, campers! Four more spots have been taken! Better get your skates on, because if you don't hurry up, that equates to one humiliating walk down the Dock of Shame." Announced Chris.
"You guys are useless. We're wasting valuable time." Grunted Eva, as she, Owen, Noah and Izzy scaled up the hill leading to the 1000 foot cliff.
"Come on, you can do it, Owen!" Cried Izzy, as she stood behind the lovable oaf, trying to push him from behind. She had no success in this endeavour.
"I…can't…do…this." Puffed Owen, who was sweating so much that he left a tiny trail of water in his wake.
"Amen to that, brother." Said Noah, who was being carried up the hill bridal-style by Eva.
"I should have left when I got the chance." Sighed Eva. After a long walk involving many snack-breaks for Owen, they finally reached the top of the hill.
"I swear, Izzy, if we walked all the way up here for nothing, I will throw you off this cliff." Snapped Noah.
"What do you mean, 'we'?" Scoffed Eva.
"I'm sure it's here, Noah. How you may ask? Well for starters I have almost microscopic vision, but I'm also a little psychic!"
"You don't say." But just then, Izzy found a red flag in the bushes and cheered triumphantly.
"And, the title of team captain goes to Izzy aka E-Scope aka Kaleidoscope aka Esquire! And my teammates, Big O, Eva, and Noah-it-all!" Noah raised an eyebrow at his new nickname, praying it didn't stick.
"You know what, crazy girl? I think I'll pass." Said Eva. Izzy stopped dancing.
"What are you talking about, Eva?"
"Look at this team! We have this sarcastic moron, a three-hundred pound ball of butter and sweat—"
"Hey, I'll have you known I'm two-ninety-eight!" Protested Owen.
"Whatever, and we are led by Canada's Most Wanted! I think I'll try my luck for a better team." Said Eva. Izzy's eye twitched.
"Say one more word, and I'll throw you off this cliff for treason!"
"Smell you later, crazy girl." And Eva turned around and sprinted down the cliff, while Izzy was screaming profanity at her.
Confessional
Eva: It was a calculated risk to leave. There must be a better team out there, but whether I get onto one is the question. But the day I settle for a team of morons is the day that pigs fly. I am Eva, I do not settle, you hear me?!
Izzy: Eva will pay for her crimes! And damn right I'm Canada's Most Wanted, and proud of it too!
Noah: I must say I am more than a little relieved Eva left, however I do hope some more helpful people arrive. Because if I have to stay on a team with just Izzy and Owen, I might just volunteer myself for elimination.
"It's been less than two hours since the challenge begun and nine people have already joined teams! Duncan, Courtney, DJ, Trent, Tyler, Lindsay, Izzy, Owen and Noah are all guaranteed to proceed to the next round, so all of you better up your game!" Announced Chris.
"Spots are being taken up pretty quickly, LeShawna." Said Gwen, biting her lip worriedly.
"It's okay, girl. We'll be fine, I promise." However, as she began walking, her foot caught on an opening in the ground and she tripped over.
"Are you okay?" Asked Gwen, trying not to laugh.
"Ugh, can you help me up?" Groaned LeShawna, and Gwen extended her hand and helped her up.
"What even was that?" Asked Gwen. LeShawna looked down and yelped.
"Red ant farm, damn." Said LeShawna, flicking an ant off her arm. Gwen grinned, and pulled a plastic tub out of her pocket, and began luring red ants into the tub.
"What in the hell are you doing? Why are you collectin' those things?" Shuddered LeShawna.
"Just making sure Heather sleeps comfortably tonight." Said Gwen, grinning maliciously. LeShawna burst out laughing, and Gwen saw something in the corner of her eye.
"LeShawna, there's something in there. It's blue, or something. I…I think it's the flag!" Cried Gwen.
"Seriously?! Grab it!" Cried LeShawna.
"Hey, I'm not doing it."
"Ugh, fine!" And LeShawna stuck her hand into the pit, and pulled out the flag, but proceeded to curse as she was bitten by many red ants.
"Girl, we did it! We are on a team! You wanna be captain?"
"Nope. Done it before, hasn't worked out for me. Besides, you'll be a great captain." Said Gwen, smiling, and the girls proceeded to hug and dance. However, just then, they heard the voices of people nearby. Heather and Alejandro stepped out of the bushes. Gwen and LeShawna panicked, and LeShawna stuffed the flag into her bra reflexively.
"Really?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow before LeShawna shushed her.
"What are you two doing here, standing around?" Asked Heather suspiciously.
"Nothing, just standing around, enjoying the sun, watching the birds." Said Gwen, trying to sound casual.
"Have you got a flag?" Asked Heather accusingly.
"Nope, no flag here." Said LeShawna.
"Then why is there red fabric coming out of your shirt?" Asked Alejandro. LeShawna realised she hadn't concealed it very well and cursed.
"We been served, girl." And defeated, she pulled the flag out of her shirt. Heather and Alejandro grinned.
"Looks like we've found our team, chica!" And the two began to kiss passionately.
"NO!" Screeched Gwen. Everybody stared at her.
"LeShawna, please forgive me, but for four very long seasons I have been stuck on a team with this leech, and I am not about to stick around for a fifth!" Cried Gwen.
"Gwen, it's okay! Whoever comes next, we'll outnumber them four-to-two."
"No! I can't do it! LeShawna, I'm sorry, but this is not my team!" And Gwen marched away and left LeShawna flabbergasted.
Confessional:
Gwen: I do feel genuinely bad leaving LeShawna with those backstabbers, but I have had enough Heather for a lifetime. Hell, I've had enough for eternity.
LeShawna: I understand where Gwen is coming from, but I don't like those ding-a-lings anymore than she does. Guess I'll just have to take them down myself.
"Attention, contestants! All four flags have now been located. There are no more spots for Team Captain up for grabs, but now it is time to scramble so that you can find a spot on a team! I'm talking to Gwen, Eva, Justin, Beth, Katie, Sadie, Ezekiel, Blaineley, Sierra, Cody, Bridgette, Geoff, and Harold! All of you better get cracking, because one of you is going home tonight."
While waiting for two additional team members to show up, Lindsay was filing her nails, Tyler was still unconscious due to his injuries, Trent was humming, and DJ was trying to remain as quiet as he could as not to awaken the bear again. Just then, they heard a voice muttering from the woods.
"Guys, someone's there." Whispered Trent.
"Stupid Heather, stupid Alejandro, stupid Chris…" muttered the voice.
"I think it's Greta!" Cried Lindsay.
"Wait, you mean Gwen?" Asked Trent. DJ's face widened into a smile.
"Hey, Gwen! Get over here!" He called.
"DJ? Is that you?" Called Gwen, as she made her way through the foliage. Lindsay did a little squeal and embraced Gwen.
"Welcome to our team! Oh this is going to be so much fun!" She said. Gwen noticed the unconscious Tyler and raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah, so much fun." She sighed.
"Well, now we just need to wait for our sixth member. Who do you think it'll be?" Asked DJ.
"You're looking at her." Said a tough voice from behind them, and they all turned around and came face to face with Eva, grinning wickedly.
Confessional
Gwen: Overall, I could have ended up on a worse team. DJ is one of my close friends, so I'm happy that I have him, Lindsay and Tyler may not be the most book-smart people I've ever met but at least they're nice. Things might be a little awkward with Trent but we're at least on good terms. The only one I'm a little concerned about is Eva, she and I hung out a few times during the first season, but she can sometimes get a little aggressive. All in all, I can't complain, I guess.
Eva: This team is definitely preferable to Izzy's league of morons. Gwen, Trent and DJ have proven that they're somewhat competent in the past. I won't say the same for Lindsay and Tyler, but hey, we can always off them.
Lindsay: I am, like, so happy about my team! Brent, DK and Greta are all super super nice, and I have Tyler with me as well! Ava is kind of scary, but I think that maybe we can become friends!
Trent: /rubbing his head nervously/ Um, yeah, it might be a little awkward being on the same team as Gwen. We haven't really properly talked since we broke up. That said, I'm sure the two of us can at least be friends. Right?
"One team has been completely filled up! Fourteen spots have been taken, and only ten more are up for grabs! It's getting serious, guys!"
LeShawna was still refusing to speak or make eye contact with Heather and Alejandro. She was also slightly furious at Gwen had abandoned her. Heather was filing her nails, and Alejandro was resting in the sun. Just then, Bridgette and Geoff walked through the bushes. LeShawna saw them and her eyes widened.
"Oh my gosh, Bridgette, Geoff, thank the lord you two are here!" And she embraced them both.
"I know this goes without saying, but I think that these two slugs need to go first." She said, pointing at Heather and Alejandro. Heather scoffed and continued to file her nails.
"Heather, what are we going to do now? Unless someone either desperate or gullible enough comes along, we're outnumbered." Said Alejandro. Heather grinned.
"Don't worry your pretty little head, baby. I have it all under control. I've gotten out of stickier situations before."
Confessional
Heather: Yeah, I'm not too worried. Bridgette and Geoff are usually too engaged in their routine games of tonsil hockey to be a threat.
Bridgette: I'm more than a little apprehensive about our team so far…yeah, I have Geoff with me and LeShawna is one of my closest friends, but we have two of the show's largest adversaries on our team. Heck, Alejandro managed to get me out in Season Three and he wasn't even on my team!
"There are only eight spots remaining, campers! Katie, Sadie, Beth, Blaineley, Ezekiel, Harold, Sierra, Cody and Justin, you all better get going!" Called Chris from the campsite, as he and Chef Hatchet were relaxing in fold-out chairs and sipping ice tea. They were also observing all of the contestants from the monitors.
"Man, some of these kids are so slow. It's like watching paint dry. I just wanna yell at them 'get on with it, dummy!'" scoffed Chef, as he saw Katie and Sadie wandering aimlessly in the woods.
"Chef, my man, why didn't you just say so? Just the flick of a button and I can have these losers scrambling for their lives." Said Chris, and he picked up a walkie talkie.
"Send out the killer bunnies." Said Chris, and he threw the walkie-talkie over his shoulder. Chef howled in laughter.
"Some of the interns lost fingers handlin' those bunnies." Laughed Chef.
"I know. That is what's going to make this so fun." Laughed Chris.
"Oh, look, we've already got a show! And Chris and Chef began to tune in eagerly.
"What are we, like, going to do, Katie? We can't be the first eliminated! Not after we've already worked, like, so hard!" Cried Sadie.
"It's okay, Sadie! We'll find a team, don't worry." Said Katie.
"How can you be sure?" Asked Sadie.
"I just have a feeling!" Said Katie. Sadie bit her lip.
"I don't think feelings are going to get us on a team. What if we, like, can't be together? Hello, Katie?" But something else had already caught Katie's attention.
"Oh my gosh, Sadie, look at this adorable bunny rabbit!" Cooed Katie.
"Katie, we need to focus—"
"Who's a good bunny? You are! You a-OW! He bit me!" Whined Katie, holding out her hand which was bleeding. Sadie rushed over to help her friend.
"Are you okay, Katie?"
"I'm fine! It's just a little bite."
"Are you, like, sure we don't need to go to the infirmary? It could be infected or something."
"Ooh, like that time my aunt Melba got that infection from a paper cut, it like turned all green and was, like, oozing with pus and—" But Sadie's eyes had turned wide with fear.
"K-Katie?" She whimpered. Katie turned around and gasped. Staring at them, was a pack of vicious-looking bunnies, baring their teeth and growling at them." The two girls screamed at the top of their lungs and proceeded to sprint away as fast as they could, the bunnies in hot pursuit.
Hearing Katie and Sadie's screams had gotten Cody, who was not very far away, very nervous.
"Are you sure we shouldn't be moving away, Sierra? I-I mean, whatever that scream was about sounded pretty bad." Shuddered Cody.
"It's okay, my Cody-Wody! Whatever comes your way, I'll protect you!" Said Sierra, but Cody quickly shushed her.
"Sierra, listen! There's someone there." Said Cody. Sierra began to listen.
"This is so irritating, I can't believe nobody has found our flag yet—"
"It's Courtney and Duncan!" Whispered Sierra. Cody gulped. He had made an enemy of both of them, and wasn't at all willing to team up with them.
"Are you sure, Sierra? Courtney and Duncan aren't trustworthy team-mates…"
"Cody-kins, if we wait much longer, one of us could be the first person to be eliminated! And I don't want that at all! Season Five was horrible for me!" Cried Sierra, her eyes growing wide with fear. Cody felt bad and sighed.
"Alright, let's go." Sierra gave a little squeal and they approached the area. They broke into the clearing, where Cody was relieved to see that Beth and Harold had found their way to the flag as well. Beth beamed when she saw Cody, and immediately ran to hug him.
"Cody! I am so happy that you are here!" She beamed. Harold also approached the two to greet them, while Duncan scoffed.
"Seriously? Super-freak and her little pet? It's bad enough that we already got Harold!" Complained Duncan, but everybody ignored him.
Confessional:
Beth: I know that Duncan can be a good person deep down, he just doesn't like to admit it. We did make it all the way to the Finals together in Season Two. Courtney, on the other hand, I don't trust one bit. But I like Harold and Cody, and I don't know Sierra that well but she seems pretty nice.
Harold: I think it's pretty clear how this team is going to play out. Courtney and Duncan are the clear minority, so Beth, Sierra, Cody and I will probably just team up against them. That said, both of them are pretty smart, so they could turn the tables around. I guess we'll just have to see how things play out.
Katie and Sadie's little chase had come to an abrupt end when they decided to flee up the 1000 foot hill and found themselves at Izzy's new team. Both girls were thoroughly exhausted, Katie was lying on the ground panting like a dog in the sun, and Sadie was leaning over the side of the cliff, vomiting. Izzy was tending to Katie's bite, while Noah stared in disbelief at his new team mates.
"I swear, those bunnies were, like, so mean! Their eyes were vicious and their teeth were like razor blades!" Whimpered Katie.
"I don't think I'll ever be able to look at my cousin's pet rabbit the same way ever again." Cried Sadie, wiping her mouth.
"It's okay, girls! You're now on Izzy's team! I've gotten into fights with the most hideous of creatures, including Chef Hatchet, so you're safe from harm here." Said Izzy. Noah was still in disbelief.
Confessional:
Noah: /sighing/ I'm starting to think I should have followed Eva. I mean, I probably could have barely tolerated Izzy and Owen for a season, but now that Dumb and Dumber are here I don't think I'm going to manage. Right now, I'm just praying to all the deities I don't believe in that the last person to come along is somewhat reliable.
Leshawna, Bridgette, Geoff, Heather and Alejandro were waiting for their last team-mate to arrive.
"Who's left that might end up on our team?" Asked LeShawna.
"I think Blaineley and Ezekiel are still left. Personally I'm not okay with either." Said Bridgette.
"Isn't there one more person? I can't remember who it is though." Said Geoff, but just then, a lone figure stepped into the glade. It was Justin. He smirked, looking at his new team.
"This is going to be fun." He grinned. Alejandro leant over to Heather.
"What's our plan now?" Asked Alejandro.
"Don't worry, honey. Like I said, I have it all under control.
Confessional:
Heather: /smirking/ Justin is kind of a wild card in the game. He's been allied with both good and bad before, but he's definitely one vote we could use on our side.
LeShawna: Justin is kind of unpredictable. He could ally with us, but he could ally with them. We need his vote more than ever if we're going to get rid of Heather and Alejandro.
Justin: I know how important I am to both of their sides. I think I'll wait around to see what each side has to offer me first. I'm smarter than I look, I'm not just flawless skin, hair, abs, arms, legs, elbows, knees, eyes, nose, lips and ears.
The sun was setting over Camp Wawanakwa, and the sky was a deep orange. Izzy, Owen, Noah, Katie and Sadie had a lovely view of the sunset from the top of the cliff.
"Sadie, look! The sunset is, like, so pretty!" Cooed Katie.
"I know! I've been thinking of dying my hair that colour!" Said Sadie.
"Wait, really?" Asked Katie.
"Why, do you think I can't pull it off?" Frowned Sadie.
"Sure you can, I just think it would suit me better." Sadie gasped.
"You did not just, like, say that!"
"It's true!" And the girls promptly began to slap at eachother, while Noah rolled his eyes.
"The sun looks like a big block of gouda cheese." Moaned Owen and he began to salivate and shuffle towards it, being pulled back by Izzy before he could shuffle over the cliff. Just then, Chris' voice came over the loudspeaker.
"Attention, campers! There is one spot remaining, and it is going to either Blaineley or Ezekiel! The other will be eliminated. Now, for the sake of my being home in time for dinner, I will reveal that the remaining team is at the top of the 1000 foot cliff. Blaineley, Ezekiel, go nuts." Said Chris.
"Great. So it's either the fame-obsessed cover girl or the terrifying monster so desperate to win money that he stayed in the cargo hold of a plane for months without food or water." Sighed Noah.
"Oh my gosh, Blaineley is, like, so mean. I would be so unhappy if she was on our team." Said Sadie.
"But Ezekiel is, like, super scary. I wouldn't want him either." Said Katie.
"I don't want to hear any of this nonsense! Izzy's team of super-duper ninja-ness is accepting to all things of any genus, phylum, class, order, family or species!" Said Izzy.
"Where does Zeke belong?" Said Noah sarcastically.
Confessional:
Blaineley: Ugh, I can't be bothered walking up a thousand-foot hill! But no way in hell am I going to be the first person eliminated. I'll just have to get creative.
Ezekiel: Money. Win. /licks the camera lens/
Blaineley was at the bottom of the hill, and began to walk up, but was quickly overtaken by Ezekiel who began to bound up the hill at an animalistic speed.
"Hey! Wait!" Cried Blaineley. Ezekiel turned around and growled at Blaineley.
"I can help you out, you know. If you help me get up to the top of this hill, I'll make sure you stay in the game. I promise." Said Blaineley. Ezekiel sniffed her feet, and continued to growl ferociously.
"I have lots of money." Offered Blaineley. Ezekiel's eyes lit up and he gestured for Blaineley to jump on his back. Blaineley climbed on and Ezekiel continued to ride up the hill. Soon, they arrived at the top of the hill, where Izzy, Owen, Noah, Katie and Sadie were all waiting.
"Huzzah! Ezekiel and Blaineley, welcome to our team! You are gonna love it here!" Said Izzy, who began to give a belly rub to Ezekiel, who gladly welcomed the attention, while Owen picked up Blaineley and hugged her much to her chagrin.
"Uh…hello? Am I the only one seeing the slight mathematical technicality here? Team of six, seven people. One of them has to go." Said Noah.
"You're more than welcome to leave, Noah." Teased Izzy.
"No thank you."
"Well, who, like, has to go? Blaineley or Ezekiel?" Asked Katie.
"Ooh, I have an idea! Let's vote on it!" Agreed Sadie.
"Are you kidding me?" Asked Noah.
"Do you have a better idea?" Asked Katie. Noah remained silent.
"Alright, well let's vote! I, like, vote for Ezekiel, because it'll be like having a pet on our team!" Cooed Sadie. Katie gasped.
"Oh my gosh, you're right, Sadie! I vote Ezekiel too!" Said Sadie. Noah looked at them in disbelief.
"Are you kidding me? Blaineley may not be the most pleasant person, but at least she is somewhat in possession of her mental faculties! I vote Blaineley!" Said Noah.
"I vote Blaineley too! She and I made a great team in Season Three!" Said Owen, hugging her again despite Blaineley's protests.
"Well, it's all down to you, Izzy. Who do you choose?" Asked Katie. Izzy scratched her chin.
Confessional
Noah: Well, crap. Knowing Izzy, she'll probably make the completely wrong choice. Crazy girls should never break ties.
Ezekiel: Money. Win. Eliminate. No.
"This is definitely a tough decision. Blaineley, you seem like a super cool person, but let's face it, Zeke is a mutated monster and you can't really beat that. Therefore I vote for Ezekiel!" Said Izzy and Ezekiel roared triumphantly. However, Blaineley only smirked. She took a twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket, and put it in Ezekiel's hand.
"That's not the reaction I was expecting. In fact, it almost seems—" Noah was cut off when Blaineley kicked Ezekiel in the jaw, and shoved him over the edge of the cliff. Ezekiel screamed as he tumbled down and eventually hit the water. Katie and Sadie were shocked at this display. Izzy confronted Blaineley.
"You! We voted Ezekiel in! That was an underhanded move!" Cried Izzy.
"Whatever, it's too late now. For now, I'm your team-mate and you're going to have to cope." Said Blaineley, smirking.
Confessional
Izzy: That was *beep*ed up! I'm going to have to keep an eye on Blaineley. There is no room for traitors on Izzy's team of super-duper ninja-samurai-ness!
Noah: I'm not going to lie, unpleasant as Blaineley is, I was definitely relieved to see Ezekiel tumbling off that cliff. Now, I'm just going to have to find a way to pull my team along.
Blaineley: /smirking/ Like I said, we just have to get creative.
The twenty-four remaining campers were sitting at the campsite, where a dripping and drenched Ezekiel was being prepared for elimination. Chris chuckled at the unfortunate incident.
"Ezekiel, man, I never thought I would see this day. Each and every time you have competed in the competition, you have been the first eliminated of the whole bunch." Said Chris, howling with laughter.
"He wouldn't have been if it weren't for Blaineley." Defended Sadie, scoffing. Blaineley rolled her eyes.
"Nonetheless, Ezekiel, you are out of the competition, for good. And there won't be any sticking around this time either. We are making sure this island is one-hundred percent Ezekiel free."
"What are you going to do? Drop him out of a plane, fling him from a catapult, flush him down a toilet or shoot him from a cannon?" Asked Duncan.
"Well, considering this is Total Drama Back to the Basics, we thought it would be a nice throwback to Season 1 if we brought back the Boat of Losers. Especially considering the places that some of you ended up through the Flush of Shame." Said Chris.
"Ooh! I ended up in New York! It was sooooo fun, I went on a huge shopping spree!" Cheered Lindsay.
"I ended up at the bottom of Niagra Falls." Said Gwen bitterly.
"Anyhoo, Ezekiel, the Boat of Losers awaits!" Said Chris, and he led Ezekiel, who was restrained by Chef Hatchet, down the Dock. However, the Boat of Losers had faced a significant downgrade. It was now a rubber lifeboat without a motor, and looked like it could pop at any second.
"Have fun, Ezekiel. It's self-propelled so try not to get lost at sea." And Chef Hatchet threw Ezekiel into the boat. Ezekiel growled, and to Chris's surprise, jumped out of the boat, and into the sea, swimming away until he could no longer he seen.
"I'm sure he knows what he's doing." Said Chris, and he walked back to the other contestants.
"Anyways, now that Ezekiel is gone, twenty four of you remain."
"On Team One we have, Tyler, Lindsay, DJ, Trent, Gwen and Eva."
"On Team Two we have Duncan, Courtney, Beth, Harold, Sierra and Cody."
"On Team Three we have LeShawna, Heather, Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff and Justin."
"And on Team Four, we have Izzy, Owen, Noah, Katie, Sadie and Blaineley."
"I'd suggest you all get a good night's sleep, for in tomorrow's challenge, one team will be going to elimination, and one person will be going home." Said Chris.
"For now, I'm going to allocate you into cabins. If you remember, we separated the teams in Season 1 into four cabins. That's how we're going to work it this time as well."
"In Cabin 1 will be Lindsay, Gwen, Eva, Courtney, Beth and Sierra."
"In Cabin 2 will be Tyler, DJ, Trent, Duncan, and Cody."
"In Cabin 3 will be LeShawna, Heather, Bridgette, Izzy, Katie, Sadie and Blaineley."
"And in Cabin 4 will be Alejandro, Geoff, Justin, Owen, Harold and Noah. Get to sleep, campers, because tomorrow's challenge will be a tough one."
Cabin 1 – Lindsay, Gwen, Eva, Courtney, Beth, Sierra.
"Eee! Beth, we totally have to share a bunk!" Squealed Lindsay, and Beth squealed in unison and the two rushed to the first bunk.
"If they squeal like a pair of pigs being lined up for slaughter the whole time, I'm just gonna sleep outside." Groaned Eva. Meanwhile, Courtney was setting up her bunk, when she accidently knocked over Gwen's suitcase.
"Oh, sorry." Said Courtney, picking it back up.
"It's okay." Said Gwen coldly, who was now bunking with Eva. Courtney, immediately sensing the tension, felt uncomfortable, and was immediately distracted by Sierra, who began hanging upside by her bunk, fantasizing about Cody.
Confessional:
Courtney: I wish Gwen would just forgive me already. Yes, I was kind of horrible to her last season, but she's done bad things too! Whatever, it's not like we're on the same team anymore.
Lindsay: Beth and I aren't on the same team, but at least we get to share a cabin! I'm so excited, because we haven't properly spent time together since that time we defiled the Mona Lisa in Paris and got arrested!
Cabin 2 – Tyler, DJ, Trent, Duncan, Cody
The five guys shuffled into their new cabin, Tyler, still recovering from his injuries sustained during the episode, was on a large amount of painkillers and nearly unconscious. DJ and Trent helped him onto the bed, where he fell asleep immediately.
"Poor guy. I hope he's okay for the challenge tomorrow." Said DJ.
"Pathetic, in my opinion. I've gotten into scrapes with worse things than bears on this show, and I'm fine." Scoffed Duncan, who was now resting on his own bed.
"Dude, really? Why would you say that?" Said Trent.
"He needs to man up, and so do all of you." Said Duncan nonchalantly.
"Really? Because last time I checked, your insistence on being 'a man' left you with no friends." Frowned Trent.
"Whatever, lover boy. I don't need friends. I just need allies."
"Have fun finding anybody who will trust you."
"I will."
The tense atmosphere in the room was cue for the rest of the guys to go to sleep.
Cabin 3 – LeShawna, Bridgette, Heather, Izzy, Katie, Sadie, Blaineley.
LeShawna slammed open the door of the cabin in frustration. Katie and Sadie were already squealing about sharing a cabin and being immensely annoying. However, she noticed something odd.
"What the…" She muttered. There were only three bunk beds and seven girls in the cabin.
"There are only six beds!" She cried in anger. She noticed a post it note on the floor which read "Budget cuts. – Chris." LeShawna scrunched it up in fury.
"I will murder that sadistic shred of a man." She scowled.
"Whatever. Obviously one of us has to sleep on the floor, because I'm not sharing a bed with any of you." Said Heather.
"There is no way that I am sleeping on a floor. I need my beauty rest." Said Blaineley.
"I think you need a lot." Said LeShawna, and Blaineley scowled at her.
"Look, I think the only fair way to settle this is to take turns in sleeping on the floor." Said Bridgette.
"Okay, surfer girl, but that still doesn't solve the question of who has to sleep on the floor tonight. And spoiler alert, it is not me." Scoffed Heather, but Izzy spoke up.
"I have an idea! We could play a massive game of paintball, all across the island, and the first person to get paint on them has to sleep on the floor! It'll be fun, I can steal the guns from Chef Hatchet and—"
"Or we could just draw straws." Suggested LeShawna.
"I think my idea sounded more fun." Pouted Izzy. Katie volunteered her makeup brushes, and all the girls drew. Blaineley let out a scream of frustration, holding up the short brush.
"No! No way am I sleeping on that dusty, cockroach infested floor!" Screamed Blaineley, but the other six girls had already claimed a bed.
"No! I am a star! I do not deserve to be treated like this!" Screeched Blaineley.
"You're a star? We've all been jumping through hoops for Chris for years, and you've just hosted some lame talk show that no-one watches and competed in two episodes." Pointed out LeShawna.
"I'll have you know that Celebrity Manhunt was incredibly successful, and-"
"Okay, stop whining, please! I've had enough of all you weirdos for one day." Scoffed Heather.
"Think of it this way, Blaineley. Only one of us needs to be eliminated for you to get a bed." Said Sadie.
Confessional:
Blaineley: This is so unfair. I need a bed. I am bringing those dumb girls down if it is the last thing I do!
LeShawna: Blaineley is getting' on my nerves quickly. Let's hope she gets out soon.
Cabin 4 – Alejandro, Geoff, Justin, Harold, Owen, Noah
"Oh, yeah! The cabins! I have had so many great memories in here! The midnight after-hours parties, the moonlit games of poker, canasta and spit, the fun times with Izzy…oh, Izzy…why did she have to dump me?" Bawled Owen.
"Well, that escalated quickly." Said Noah. Owen leapt onto one of the beds, but it couldn't hold his weight and it snapped in two.
"Are you kidding me, you fat donkey? Day one, and one of our beds is broken?" Cried Alejandro in disbelief.
"I guess two of us have to sleep on the floor." Said Harold.
"I'm sorry, what? I have five sisters, I already compete for enough." Said Noah.
"Yeah, and, uh, my modelling agency says it is a necessity that I sleep on a mattress every night, or I slouch, and posture is everything." Said Justin, quickly claiming a bed and lying on it.
"Don't get so comfortable there, pretty boy. I am not sleeping on that floor." Snapped Noah.
"Guys, calm down! We should all take turns in sleeping on the floor, and we'll have an organised schedule of who does and when!" Said Harold.
"Did you not just hear me? Modelling agency? Gosh, sometimes it just goes in one ear and out the other with you people…" Said Justin.
"Well, someone has to do it, unless we want to share beds." Said Geoff.
"Fine, whatever. But I'm not tonight." Said Justin.
"I'll sleep on the floor tonight, gosh! You are all so stubborn!" Sighed Harold.
"And I think that it is only fair that Owen must sleep on the floor too. He is the one that broke the bed." Smirked Alejandro. Owen only sobbed in response.
Confessional:
Justin: What can I say, this face needs it's rest. Tyra Banks says that the most important thing in your make-up bag is a good night's rest…or, uh, so I hear.
So many questions on only the first day! Which team will come out on top during the first challenge? Will Gwen ever warm up to Courtney again? Will anybody ever trust Duncan again? Will Justin use his position of power in his team? Will Blaineley ever just shut up? All the answers and more on the next episode of Total Drama Back to the Basics!
There you have it, guys! The very first chapter of Total Drama: Back to the Basics! I hope you all enjoyed it! Peace out hombres!
~The Drama Machine.