First Seal (Tag to "Head of a Pin")
By Evergreen
"I started all of this?" Tears leaked out of Dean's eyes as he asked that terrible question to Castiel. He shivered, already knowing the answer. The pain in his body didn't even touch the crushing guilt that flowed through him. His father would have been so proud.
"A righteous man who sheds blood in hell shall break the first Seal." Castiel's even response did nothing to assuage the raging guilt that swept through Dean.
Dean swallowed, unable to speak without breaking down completely. He knew the demon had been telling the truth. His father always had said that demons lie, but not when telling the truth hurts more. Alistair always knew what buttons to push, how to work over Dean perfectly. Dean had studied under him, learned to torture under the demon. Why was he saved? He was broken, ruined forever. His father had never broken, not in a hundred years in hell. Dean had only lasted thirty years. What was that compared to the fate of the world? Nothing. He was nothing but a damned puppet. If he had known about the Deal, he would've held on. But he didn't know and he gave in to protect his own sorry ass. His father would be so proud. Alistair had said that Dean had left part of himself in hell and he was right. He hoped that it wasn't the human part. It was his selfishness that started all of this. His desire to never be without Sam. Sam had died and Dean made a deal to get him back. That deal put him in the place that began the end of the world and Sam on a dark path that Dean was truly shocked to find him on. Sam thought that Dean wasn't aware of everything that Sam was doing or could do. Dean knew more than he let on, but he was powerless to stop Sam. Sam was his brother and Dean would die for him. And that Uriel business was a shock. What kind of omnipotent being let that kind of perversion happen? Angels killing angels? Dean swallowed against the lump in his bruised throat.
He closed his eyes against the weight of the words that Castiel shared next. "And only he will be able to end this."