A/N: Hyde is leaving Point Place for good, but not before spilling his heart out. The inspiration for this story came from a song titled "Easier Said Than Done" by Donnie J. Hope you guys like it!
Hey doll,
By the time you read this I'll probably be out of town already. You know I'm not good with words and I know that I would not be able to tell you everything I have to tell you in person, but I have to get everything out of my chest now because I can't start over if I leave things unresolved. Jackie, you and I could not be more different, yet we couldn't be more perfect for each other. I remember when I first met you, I could not stand to be around you because I thought you were everything I hated, but in reality you were everything I feared. I knew, even then, that you were smarter than everyone gave you credit for and I was afraid that you would call me out on all my bullshit and be the one person to break this wall I've been building up for years.
I tried so hard to hate you and to make you hate me. I don't know how you did it though, but you managed to ease your way into my life. I never told you this, but I secretly enjoyed the moments you and I shared, even before we got together. Remember when I taught you how to be zen? Or the day we went to the mall and sizzler? I denied it then, but I knew you were someone who would have a great impact on my life, no matter how much I pretended to despise you.
Doll, not only did you ease your way into my life, you also eased your way into my heart in a way that no one has ever, nor will ever manage to do so. I found you so overwhelming and so many times I tried to convince myself that I was never going to be good enough for you. I can't offer you all the gifts you want or the future you wanted and that made me think of myself as not deserving of you. Yet, you never gave up on me and all those material things came second to what you felt for me.
You, Jackie, made me who I am today. You helped me grow into someone I can be satisfied with. I always had this reality of what my life would be like and I was sure that was the only way for me, but the hope you had in me made me want to be better. Jackie you made me better.
I know I can't change what happened between us, no matter how much I want to, but I also know that things will never be over between us...if I stay. I know that as long as I stay here in Point Place, you'll always have hope that we'll get back together. That's why I'm leaving. I can't keep holding you back Jackie, it's not fair to you. I know I love you and I won't deny that anymore. I will always love you, but I'm not ready to settle down, and I don't know if I ever will be, and that's why I need to be away from you, because I want you to be happy and have everything you want, because baby you deserve it.
Look, I want to say that I'm sorry for all the stupid shit I've done in the past, and I'm sorry for screwing up so many times. I'm sorry for screwing us up, and for as long as I live, that will be my greatest regret. But you will always be my favorite memory. Jacqueline Burkhart, you were my first love and you will be my only love. It will be impossible to love anyone as much as I love you Jackie.
I hope you forgive me one day and that you don't regret the time we spent together, because I don't, not for a second.
Well enough of this pansy ass shit. I'll see you around doll. Someday, I promise.
Steven J. Hyde