More Than Looks

Summary: Shuichi's answer to Ryuichi's question in Track 4 of Volume 1 of Gravitation EX (Track 70 of the webtracks) as to what Eiri would have left if he lost his looks. A sweet and sappy but tough-minded look at Shuichi's and Eiri's relationship.

Genre: Romance

Rating: M for language and adult concepts.

Warnings: Sugar overload. May cause cavities.

Disclaimer: It's Maki Murakami's sandbox; I just play in it. I don't own the rights to these characters and I don't make any money from them.

Word Count: 857 not counting the introduction

Written for LiveJournal's 30_kisses community.

Prompt #2, news; letter

Thanks go to my long-suffering beta HawkClowd who pushed me to make this story better and less duplicative of the manga and who read numerous versions of this story before it was finished.

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Yuki –

I won't start this letter "Dear Yuki" because I know you don't like endearments and because it sounds retarded anyway. Since you can't see very well right now, I don't know how you'll read this. I guess I could read it to you, but that seems to contradict the whole point of writing it down. Maybe I can give it to Tatsuha to read to you if that's okay with him. I don't want to give it to Mika because she'll tell Tohma what's in it.

Ryuichi asked what you'd have left if you lost your looks and you said you'd have nothing. How can you say that? Don't you know that you are more than your looks?

After we first met, you asked me what I saw in you. I didn't have a good answer then, but I do now. After two years of loving you, living with you, sleeping, fucking, eating together, arguing, watching TV, listening to music, watching you type or make dinner, and by the way, did I mention fucking?, I know the inner Yuki better than anyone.

You can be so unpredictable sometimes, but one thing I can count on is your yelling at me when I'm being an idiot or getting on your nerves. A lot of people think I'm naïve and stupid for putting up with you, but they don't realize you only yell because you care. I'd be more frightened if you ever stopped yelling at me. That would mean I didn't matter to you any more.

You are so curious about everything in this world. You may not like people much but you observe them closely and find them endlessly fascinating, and you use the product of your observations in your writing.

I love the Yuki who writes tragic romantic fiction. Your novels may be sad but they're real and moving. Even though they break my heart, no one without a heart could write them.

You usually make a big fuss and act all irritated with me, but it's mostly an act. You are amazingly kind and gentle when you think no one (including me) is looking.

How do I know?

You put up with me and let me hang out with you before you decided it was okay to get involved with another guy. You kissed me, then taught me that true passion requires more than kisses.

You showed up at our first concert even though I told you not to. You smiled when I announced you were mine, all mine, and made a fool of myself in front of hundreds of people.

You made my body your temple after it was polluted and defiled. You went after Aizawa with a fury that thrilled me and scared me all at the same time.

You didn't say anything when I vandalized the home you left behind after you returned to Kyoto to marry Ayaka. You never asked me to pay to have it fixed either even though it must have cost a lot to clean up.

You've got a photograph of the two of us hidden in your desk drawer that you look at when you think I'm not paying attention, just like you tried to hide the photo sticker from our date.

You want to be the strong one so I don't have to worry. You complain about trivial things but you never let on that the stress of our relationship was making you sick. You didn't tell me you had started therapy either.

You stood in line to buy Dragon Quest VIII for me when I had to work but absolutely had to have the game the day of its release.

You tried to help me by writing lyrics for our songs. When I refused, you asked me to give up my music for you. Even though you were being a dickhead about it, it still meant a lot to me that you, who often seem cold and distant, cared that much.

You drive me wherever I want to go without complaint. Who'd believe you'd do anything like that without going on about it? I wouldn't believe it myself if I wasn't there to see it.

I know you wouldn't wear a ring identical to mine unless you truly loved me. You're not the kind of person to indulge in an empty gesture just to make me feel better.

Please please please forgive me for leaving you for Ryuichi momentarily. It was the mistake of a lifetime. I don't love him the way I love you nor do I need him the way I need you.

Remember when I told you "love you long time"? We are meant to be together. You mean so much more than your looks to me and I will still love you even when you're old and wrinkly.

What would you have if you lost your looks? Silly, you'd still have me.

Love 4ever and always, Shuichi

P.S. – You will hurt my feelings if you tell me that this is poorly written, so keep your opinion to yourself for a change if that's what you think, you big jerk! 3