My friend, who sadly doesn't have a Fanfiction account, came up with this idea. So, here it is! I quite enjoyed writing it, and I'm pretty sure she did too:) Sorry for any OOCness:D Please R&R!
Disclaimer: We sadly don't own LotR. If you thought so, I might suggest you see a doctor:D
"Whats do yous wants to eats, Precious?" Sméagol looked lovingly upon his Ring, the One Ring to rule them all. Precious didn't respond.
Sméagol, with a hurtful look, asked again, "whats do you wants to eats?" The waitress, with an irritated look, glanced up from her notepad.
"Are you going to order or not?"
"Yes, yes. We will go first, since Precious is being stubborn. We woulds like fish."
"How would you like that cooked, sir?" The waitress asked.
"We don'ts wants it cooksed, we wants it raw, juicy, and scrumptious!" Sméagol sang. "Woulds you like raw fish Precious?" Precious, again, didn't answer.
"Would you like me to just bring out the fish?"
"Yes yes, that's fine." The waitress scurried off.
"Now Precious, you needs to quits being so difficults! Now tell us, whats woulds you like to eats?"
"I wanna go to Mordor!"
"Whats?"
"I wanna go to Mordor, and bind everything into darkness!"
"We'll do that's later, buts for now, whats woulds you likes to eats?"
"The world."
"The worlds?"
"No, the world."
"Worlds?"
"No, world."
"Why woulds you wants to eats the worlds?" Sméagol asked, confusion written on his pale face.
"I don't. I want to eat the world."
"Thats whats we keeps saying!"
"No, you keep saying 'worlds'."
"Exactly! You want to eats the worlds!"
"Has the rest of your party decided what to eat yet?" The waitress asked.
"Yes yes. Precious wants to eats the worlds, whatever that means." The waitress turned her snooty gaze upon Precious.
"You want to eat worlds?"
"No, I want to eat the world." Precious laid stress on the d in world.
"One world coming right up, uh, are you a dude or a chic?"
"I'm a ring."
"Okay….I'll just go get your world for you to eat." The waitress left, again.
"Precious, thats a stupid fats waitress. She can'ts give you the worlds to eats!"
"I didn't ask for the worlds."
"If you don'ts stops this, I'm goings to breaks up with yous!"
"My heart lies with Sauron. My goal is to get back to him, to bring everything into darkness! Oh yeah!"
"You means…"
"Mean."
"…yous don'ts loves us?"
"Nope."
"Sméagol, why are you crying?" Gollum whispered later that evening when Sméagol had returned to his cave, without his Precious.
"Precccious brokes ups with us." Smeagle began to cry.
"It's ok, you haves us."
"But you aren'ts my Precious!" Gollum adapted a hurt look.
"Whats did yous says?"
"You aren'ts my Precious!"
"Fine then!" And with that Gollum left.
"Whats a bads days, Sméagol, whats a bads days."