Title: What Did You Expect
Author: darknesshaunts
Pairing/Character: Veronica, Dick
Word Count: 1677
Rating: PG
Summary: The awkwardness of dealing with drunk!Dick
Spoilers: Mentioning of Season 2 finale and I guess for 3.09
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Veronica Mars. No copyright infringement is intended.

Here's how it happened and you better listen closely because I'm not telling this story more than deemed necessary. It was a while back, between the fall and winter classes at Hearst after Logan and I broke up. I was on a case, believe it or not, when I ended up in a bar on the other side of Neptune taking care of a drunk 09er. This sophomore came to me for help after her precious jewelry had been stolen. A diamond ring that was once the ring her grandfather proposed to her grandmother with. A necklace given to her by her mom right before she died of cancer. Other miscellaneous things included bracelets and earrings. The prime suspect was her ex-boyfriend who was hard up for cash to support his cocaine habit. A dangerous mission it seemed, getting involved with druggies but I was also hard up for cash. The girl was paying me five grand, plus expenses. Probably more than what the jewelry was worth, not counting sentimental values. Although when you have money sentiments are the only things with value.

I staked the guy out at his place first until he left his house at 6:18 PM. By six-thirty he was in a back alley buying a few viles of that white powdery stuff I was pretty sure wasn't sugar. No exchanges for jewelry but he did have a pretty nice hunk of pocket change which could have meant he already pawned it off. Fifteen minutes later I watched him snort two lines in the drive thru of a fast food restaurant. The time seven o'clock came around I ended up following him into a bar; not exactly the smartest move but I was still hoping he was going to give it up or flash it around in there. He went into the bathrooms and I was contemplating just leaving or playing the old "Is this the women's room?", insert dry heaves here act to see what he was up to. Before I could even make up my mind I was distracted.

"Veronica Mars," I heard a voice call out as I stopped and hesitated to turn around. The voice was slurred as I assumed the person was drunk off their asses already. But I could still recognize it and that's why I was hesitating because there was no way the voice could have belonged to the person I was imagining in my head. But sure enough as I turned around there he was: Dick Casablancas was slung over the bar with a bottle of cheap scotch clenched protectively in his hands. Now when I say cheap I mean nothing you'd think a rich kid would be drinking but probably the most expensive thing this place had. Even if you weren't of legal age slipping the bartender enough cash got you something. "Hey I knew it was you. I can spot a short, fiesty blonde when I see one." With that came another swig of the ol' bottle and he made a face like he didn't really want to drink it because it was foul tasting but the only thing that would do to ease whatever was going through that head of his. Which I really has no intention of figuring out when a walked over there just to shut him up before he blew my cover.

"Dick," I said plainly, shaking my head at how pathetic he looked. His hair was ruffled in a complete mess and the buttons on his shirt didn't even line up. I didn't want to know why he was dressing himself when he was plastered either. "Please tell me this isn't some kind of hazing thing, you know I don't mesh well with that kind of thing." I sat at the stool around the corner next to him before glancing over to see if my buddy had come out of the bathroom yet. Must've been a lot of line of coke he was snorting up in there, or maybe a deal was going down. Either way I couldn't be distracted by Dick.

"What are you doing here, Ronnie? I didn't know you were that poor you had to come here. Look around, we're in the shallow end of the gene pool." That earned more than a few glares from other patrons with the volume level he was speaking at. I glanced around a little ashamed as I put my hand on his back when he put his head back down on the countertop. Coming in here was a bad idea...

"I was just about to ask you the same. I wasn't aware someone of your stature would come to places like this either. So tell me, whose the lucky girl you want to take advantage of tonight?" Although by the looks of it Dick was the one going to be taken advantage of if he didn't get out of there soon. Which was even more of a scary thought as to how he'd leave. I was starting to feel responsible for getting him out of there now and I never wanted to feel responsible for Dick. Ever.

"No, no girl. Just drinking away were I don't know anyone. You know since my brother did jump off a building it's kind of affecting me," He drank again. I frowned. How do you answer something like that? This huge asshole who had done horrible things was now vulnerable because his brother died, the same one that raped and almost killed me, and I felt sorry for him. What a turn of events. "But you're here so my plan isn't worrking. Time to go to plan B."

I was almost afraid to ask. "What's plan B?"

My fears were brought to light when the drunken frat boy picked his head off the counter and grabbed the back of my head to pull me in closer and lay a big ol' rough kiss on my lips. Logan would be pissed. I pushed him away. He tried to kiss me again but I broke him off.

"What the hell!?" I screamed out and more people stared. A few guys that looked like they could be older PCHers stood, probably thinking he was hurting me. I slung my arm around Dick's shoulder and no longer cared about the five grand case as I waved the guys off and attempted to carry Dick outside. "Come on, help me here. Walk," He was too heavy, too tall, and leaning all his weight on me. I hated being teased about being short any other time but now I wanted to use it as an excuse.

"You know...you're actually pretty. No wonder my brother did you when he had the chance," I clinched my teeth together and tried not to say anything. If he hasn't been drunk off his ass it would have been a low blow that only would make me storm away in anger or slam a door in his face or something. I let it slide as I carried him out into my car and convinced myself I was doing the right thing. Even though he'd left me alone, passed out in a room so people could do what they wanted with me, I was the bigger person. That's how I'd get to sleep at night.

"Don't throw up in my car or I'm kicking you on the side of the road," I threatened as I pushed him in the passenger seat. I could see my guy come out of the bathroom through the slightly tinted windows of the bar and considered going back in there. But then again I had already made it my mission to get Dick somewhere safe. Maybe drop him off at Logan's...

He was facing the door when I got in, scrunched up in fetal position. The second he started dry heaving I shot a look at him. "Hey! Don't even think about it," I demanded and he turned over towards me. I'd forgotten the case by now and was just praying he didn't ruin my new Saturn or else I'd have him pay to detail it. Which I doubted he would do though, the second he became sober he'd forget I had even done him this favor. I was willing to forget the night as well because I wasn't really too keen on sharing information about Dick trying to make out with me. Although it wouldn't be the first time just the only time I remembered. It was slightly repulsive.

"Why're you doing this?" He said, voice clearest I had heard all night. He couldn't already be sobering up though. It was like the cliche scene from the movies: two people who hate each other, one gets drunk, the other helps them. That same line comes from the drunk person's mouth. I assumed I'd have to answer with something like 'Because I want to'. But in those scenes the two people always ended up falling in love or something and I definitely didn't want to fall in love with Dick Casablancas. Even in his vulnerable state I doubted he would ever fall in love with me, which was a good thing. He'd never love anyone but himself. And maybe his party hog...

"So I can blackmail you and rub it in your face in the future," Was my explanation and it was quite safe and honest. I picked up my camera from my side. "Smile!"

I'm telling you that's the whole story. He passed out after that and I took him to Logan's. After a brief awkward silent moment I left. As for my case, it turns out her roomie stole the jewelry and I got five grand to clean the puke out of my car.