Author's Note: The English dub changes some stuff around, but in Japanese, Ed only ever calls Al by his full name in certain scenes. So I wondered about that. Started this as a drabble. Then it got longer. I hope it's okay. I'm not too great at writing emotional stuff without making it incredibly corny.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hagane no Renkinjutsuweffrigginliggin.

When Ed was about five and Al was four, they took an interest in the books on alchemy in their dad's collection. For a while, they entertained themselves with the basics: drawing circles with only squares inside and transmuting wood into simple shapes. The best part about alchemy was their mom's praise. But Ed wanted to impress their mom even more. That meant perusing the more advanced books--which were higher up in the shelves. And Ed couldn't reach those.

Not because he was short. The bookcases were obviously constructed abnormally high.

Ed wasn't going to risk breaking his neck climbing up those shelves. So instead, he persuaded Al to climb up the shelves for him.

Their mom snapped out of her daytime doze when she heard a huge crash downstairs. She rushed down to the source of the noise to find Ed and Al buried in a pile of books.

She scolded them both and ordered them to stay away from the office for the rest of the day.

So with nothing to do, they decided to play next to the river. And when they got there, Ed made fun of Al's name.

"'Edward, Alphonse--do not go into your father's office for the rest of the day!'" He repeated their mom's order, smirking. "Hey, Alphonse--your name's stupid."

Al scowled. "It's not stupid! Your name is stupid!"

"No, it's not!" Ed kicked a pebble into the river; it landed with a plop. "Edward's a good name. Everybody's named Edward. Nobody's named Alphonse. Al-phoooonse…who has 'phonse' in their name? It's…it's…" he struggled to think of the right word, "…it's too fancy! It's show-offy!"

"Show-offy?"

"Yeah!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO! ALLPHOOONSE, ALLLPHOOONSE, ALLL--hey, what are you doing?! YAAAHHH--gurgglleruaghew!"

Their mom finished the laundry just in time to see a soaked Ed sullenly walking up to the house next to a slightly dusty Al. She sent them both to their room.

From then on, Ed never called Al by his full name.

When Ed was about seven and Al was six, Ed nearly lost Al for good.

They had been staying with the Rockbells for almost three months ever since their mom's death. Worried about how quiet and withdrawn the boys had become, Pinako sent them out to the Risembool market square with Winry. The Spring Sheep Festival was coming soon, so Pinako hoped that the festive air in town might revive the Elric brothers a bit.

Ed was disgruntled that Winry was accompanying them. Al was more accepting, but he wasn't too happy about it, either. Winry had just started her true automail training with her grandmother, and automail was all she ever talked about these days. She was completely obsessed. Ed found himself pitying the sad customers who would receive their automail from her in the future. She would probably annoy them endlessly with useless shit about it.

When they reached their destination, Ed and Al managed to lose Winry at a tools display. While she gushed over the different types of wrenches and screwdrivers, Ed and Al sneaked away into the midst of the bustle of the square.

"Wait a minute, Niisan--what if we can't find her again?" Al shoved past a fat man selling tobacco.

Ed scoffed. "You worry too much, Al! She'll be fine. She'll still be right where we left her!"

Al sighed. "Well, if you say so, Niisan…" He'd become more latched onto his older brother's words during the past three months.

"Great! Hey, look, they're juggling watermelons over there! Let's check it out!"

Maybe it was because Ed was so confident that nothing bad could happen to Winry all by herself that it came as such a shock when he realized that Al was gone. He was laughing himself stupid when one of the watermelons smashed all over the guy's head. It was only when he turned around that he couldn't find Al. Anywhere.

"Al?"

Ed wandered from the whooping group chucking more fruits at the hapless jugglers. He walked around and around in circles. He kept on calling Al's name. No response from his kid brother anywhere.

Ed was all alone.

He started to panic.

"Al!"

"Al, where are you?!"

"Goddammit Al, answer me!"

Ed half-turned to ask his mom for help, but she wasn't there. She wouldn't ever be there. She was gone.

So was Al.

Al was his only family left.

Ed started to cry.

"Al!"

Then he heard it.

"Niisan!"

Ed whipped around. It was so faint. He could hardly make out where it was coming from. But then he heard the call again. It was definitely Al. Where was he? Where was Al? Ed ran from place to place. Ignoring the bustling crowd suffocating him on all sides. Tripping over a man's wool cart and banging his ankle. Feeling too many elbows jab into his sides. Crashing into a woman. Crashing into her husband. Where was Al? He couldn't tell. He couldn't tell at all. He blinked back a rush of tears. Then--

"AL!"

Ed couldn't think anymore. Couldn't rationalize. All he saw was Al, cornered in an alley, and the group of kids beating him up. Taking turns kicking at his body.

His eyesight turned red. The world turned red. Then he felt his feet charging forward. He felt his mouth forming words. Yelling.

"Get the fuck away from him, you assholes!"

It was probably the most swear words Ed had ever said in a sentence. He hardly registered what he was doing. That wasn't good. He was a scientist, wasn't he? Comprehension, deconstruction, reconstruction. He didn't comprehend anything. He didn't even have any materials to draw a transmutation circle with. All he had were fists. And he shoved these into any one of the kids he could reach.

"You! Leave! My! Brother! Alone!"

Then a boot cracked his head open. Stars blurred his vision. He fell. He heard Al crying out something--his name? He couldn't tell. He couldn't tell at all…

Then everything stopped. The kicks. The hurt. He opened his eyes. Hazy images grew clearer. His eyes focused. He saw the man that he had crashed into before beating the kids away. They were going. They were gone. The man chased after them.

Ed coughed. Everything was still crazy. He couldn't remember anything.

Al.

He sat up.

"Al!"

He threw his arms around his little brother and held on like a tourniquet. As if Al would suddenly fly away. Al was hurt. Not badly. He had bruises everywhere and his lip was cut and bleeding. But he was conscious. He was alive.

"Niisan," he mumbled weakly. "I'm okay."

"Alphonse. Alphonse. Alphonse. Goddammit. Don't do that again. Don't leave me all alone again!" Ed repeated his name like it was a mantra to keep him there. He hung on and cried like he hadn't cried since their mom's funeral.

He was hardly aware of anything except for Al. He didn't notice the man come back to ask if they were okay. All he could do was say Alphonse's name over and over and cry over and over.

Winry eventually found them. Ed had stopped crying by then. She swung her new wrench into his and Al's skulls and yelled at them for abandoning her. Then she hit them again and yelled at them for putting themselves in danger. Then she cried, too. She was such a crybaby. She was always crying.

The man had enough courtesy to take all three of them back to Pinako's house, where he explained what had happened to the kids. Pinako thanked the man for his help.

Ed was a walking shell throughout most of the discussion. He kept staring into space.

Al was awake, though. Even though he was worse off than Ed. Or maybe because he was worse off than Ed. He hadn't had the strength to keep the group of punks from dragging him away from Ed. He'd let them beat him up. He'd let them beat Ed up. He'd felt absolutely helpless. Like he couldn't do anything at all.

From that point on, Al was determined to learn how to fight better. But not to attack. To defend. To protect himself. To protect Ed. Sort of like armor.

Later that night, both boys were bandaged up. They were back in their house. In their room. In their beds. It was late, but Al was wide awake. And pondering over something.

"Hey, Niisan?"

Ed didn't respond, but Al knew that he was awake, too.

"Earlier today, after you fought those guys, you said my name. My full name."

"…so?"

"Remember when I was four and you were five? You said that my name was stupid. Right? You never said it again after that."

"What's your point?"

"How come you said it today?"

There was a long pause. Ed sighed.

"I don't know. I guess I was just scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?"

"I don't know! I panicked, Al, okay?"

Silence fell. Then Ed spoke again.

"I hope I'll never have to say Alphonse again."

Al smiled sadly. "Because it's stupid?"

Ed smiled weakly. "Because I don't ever want to see you in danger again, Al. I don't want you to leave me by myself."

"…I won't."

Five minutes passed quietly. Then Al grinned.

"I hope I never hear you say my full name because then I'll be in danger again."

Ed grinned. He tossed aside the blankets and stood up. Twisting his face in horror, he reached out with his arm and shouted, "Alphonse! Alphonse! You drew that transmutation circle wrong and now there are dinosaurs forming and they're attacking you!"

Al tumbled out of his bed, laughing.

"Alphonse! They're eating your face, Alphonse!"

Al's laughing slowly subsided. "Okay, Niisan, it's not funny anymore."

"Alphonse! Alphonse!"

"Al!"

When Ed was about fifteen and Al was fourteen, Ed saw Al again for the first time in four years.

And Al wouldn't come with him.

Time slowed even as the Doors dragged him back into darkness. Because all he could hear was Al telling him that he couldn't go with him. Because he wasn't Al's soul. And then the Doors yanked him further away. Further away from Al. The Doors slammed shut on him. Complete darkness. Nothingness.

Al was leaving him alone again.

Then something registered in Ed's brain.

No. Al wasn't leaving him alone again. He was leaving Al alone.

He punched the Doors open. White light blinded him momentarily. He saw Al look up in shock.

"Alphonse!"

Al stared at him. Stunned.

"Alphonse! Alphonse! Someday, I'll bring you back!"

Ed felt the Doors struggling to regain control of him, but it was okay now. It was all right. He got his message to Al. It was going to be okay.

The Doors pulled him back.

"Wait for me!"

He didn't say Al's full name too often. Maybe because he didn't like it. Because he thought it was stupid. Because he only said it when Al was hurt. Or threatened in some way. When he thought that Al would die.

He only said it when Al was in danger. And when he panicked. But why did he say it when Al was in danger? Why did he say it when he panicked?

Because he loved him.

"Wait for me!"

And as the Doors withdrew into a slit, he saw it. Just barely, but he saw it. His biggest wish.

Al smiling.