I DO NOT OWN THE AVENGERS(though I wish I did) OR THE SHAKE WEIGHT OR SONIC BLADE THEY ALL BELONG TO OTHER MUCH SMARTER PEOPLE.
I will try to put the Head Cannon Before every story. Here is the first one:
#1
It all really starts one night when Bruce, Steve, and Tony are all unable to sleep, and end up sitting in the TV room all night mocking late-night infomercials. It's the first sign they have that the three of them might all be more alike than not. Later, when they're together, nightmares get chased away with cuddles, but sometimes they still end up out in the TV room, because it's a bit of a tradition now.
Tony walked into a dark kitchen hoping to find something to calm his nerves after the dream he just had. He hope for a bottle of brandy or scotch but settles for some of Bruce's foreign tea. He puts the kettle on the stove when he hears another person walk into the kitchen. "Oh I didn't expect anyone else to be up." Steves explained as he rubbed his head.
"Couldn't sleep?" Tony asked already knowing the answer.
"Yeah something like that" was his only answer.
"Well I am making some of Bruce's weird tea because I couldn't find the alcohol. You want some?" He pulled out two cups not waiting for a response.
"Make it three Tony," called Bruce from the door. He rubbed his eyes adjusting to the light. Bruce walks further into the kitchen to grab a pop tart out of the cupboard.
"I don't understand how you can eat those cardboard things," Tony shrunk away from the shiny wrapper that was thrown his way.
"I'm sorry not all of us have million dollar taste buds," Bruce snarked back after breaking a piece off for Steve. He took the broken piece and nibbled at the "crust", it was his favorite, Smores.
"They are not million dollar taste buds they are just.. refined," he joked back the glint in his eyes making up for any malic perceived in his statements. He placed the two cups of tea in front of his... friends. He could say that now. "So what brings this lovely bunch of misfits to the kitchen at," looks at the clock, "3 in the morning?"
Bruce simply looked at him sighed and responded "Oh you know the usual." He looked to the Captain expecting an answer like his.
"Another nightmare. Third this week. They are getting worse as the winter sets in," Steve sighed out between sips of his tea.
"Well I don't particularly see the point in a restless sleep. Let go see what's on the television," Tony tried to sound optimistic but knowing his own reasons for being in that kitchen were not far from the other supers made it mark.
"What is going to be on this early?" Bruce questioned but still followed.
"Reruns" Steve responded without a backward glance.
They all place themselves with an appropriate distance between them as Tony ask JARVIS to turn on the television and put the remote on the phone he had in his pocket. Tony turned and looked at his fellow supers. They were sad and he could tell so he placed himself in between the two. The distance was much more appropriate to Tony. He placed his arms on the back of the sofa surrounding both of his friends. "So what do you want to watch?" he began to flip through the channels.
Bruce settled in to the body next to him, he was far more used to the way Tony acted, and replied "Doesn't matter to me as long as it is not the news." He looked to Steve for a more concrete decision.
Steve felt awkward. He usually did when it came to Tony but when he looked to Bruce he felt surprisingly more comfortable. "I have no opinion either way we go," he settled into the couch and allowed Tony's skin to touch his neck.
Tony sighed in relief as he felt Steve finally relax. He just wanted them comfortable and he needed to know they were okay. He always felt better at being able to touch the people he is afraid of losing. "Why don't we just pick a channel and see where it lead us?" he looked to his companions. "JARVIS random channel please." What popped up was not exactly what he was expecting.
"This is not a workout this is a revolution" The camera brings a close up to a very muscular arm.
"Steve I didn't know you did comercial?!" Tony slapped him on the back a glare is all he got in return.
"This is Shake Weight for men and it's going to kick your butt," the announcers voice dropped with each syllable.
"What is he doing?" Bruce leans forward to inspect the commercial.
"It doesn't look like much. Maybe a dumbbell." Steve answers also leaning forward to inspect the device.
"In just six minutes Guaranteed." The male model that was working with the weight had started to produce some sound that normally come from a bedroom.
"He sures sounds like he is getting a workout," Tony says sarcastically imitating a few of his sounds.
"Ordinary weights isolate one muscle in one direction. But shake weight harness the power of dynamic inertia. To totally redefine strength training." Some of the model movement are slightly suggestive and this of course encouraged Tony's perverted mind.
"What is he doing with that? It looks like he is giving someone a hand job!" Bruce almost raised his voice at the television.
"It's Dynamic Inertia Bruce." Tony whispered moving his hand in a suggestive manner.
"Tony, stop that" Steve shot a well placed glare but this didn't stop Tony from seeing the pink creeping up his face.
"Steve are you blushing?" Tony leaned over to see his face.
"This is a very suggestive commercial how am I not suppose to blush. You are not helping any" Steve turned away slightly
"You know they did an awful lot of research for this" Bruce piped up from the sideline still slightly listening to the commercial.
Tony turned back to Bruce and started to talk about what kind of experiments they could have used. Steve turned back into Tony as another commercial began about ruining your food by trying to cut it. They again began to discuss the stupidity of the "SONIC BLADE" both Tony and Bruce asked about how he cut his sandwiches and if they were ever ruined by knives. They continued to watch the infomercial until the sun came up. All the three eventually fell asleep. Steve turned away from Tony but was still touching while Bruce snuggled into Tony's arm. That's how it started. Using the stupidity of other to comfort the stupidity of themselves. Many night did the trio collect on the couch to watch infomercial in the dead of night even after they shared a bed.