A/N: soooo this just a random drabble I did at the three in the morning while I was EXTREMELY angsty just after finding out that Matt was leaving *sniff* please review/favorite/follow, much appreciated! :D
Wall.
Deep indentation in it.
White chalky color and texture.
Smudges where people have thrown things.
Little black colorings on the untempered stone fortress.
Proof, that though this will stand the test of time,
nothing brings this symbol of impenetrable glory closer to the ground,
than the will of a child.
Will of children. Small beings with so much potential.
Adults stuck inside a new body. With a new mind. Yearning to fill social obligations. And find the mores that which stand so close to them. The power to bring a nation down. The power to build one from its ashes. Love and compassion bursting forth from every part of their existence. Skewed morals, but profound worldliness. A renewable resource of wonder. For wonder makes the world go 'round. For the sake of being fragile, they are put aside. Left to fight different battles. The elders think so highly of themselves, yet do they know what is yet unthought is the end of them? With their mighty driven thrones. With their superior knowledges, they never once acknowledge their small counterparts as something more. For who knows better than a child how to reason and explore, what right and wrong is, or how to love? Who knows that children are not small, but giants in their own right? Maybe it is because men do not live long enough to see the wonders of the universe are right before their eyes.
Maybe it could only take a man much older,
Much kinder
Someone who the storm has withered away
Into a kinder soul
Slowly chipped away at a soul so broken
From the ravages of war
From the savages of war
Where this soul found a flower
And this flower filled him
So he could carry on again
If you were that old
So very old,
And the very very last,
How could bear to see children cry?
You wouldn't be able to
Those small beams of light, that weren't really small
But they were big
Oh, they were huge
They were the ones who could control so much more
They had families
They had boundless love
They had control of the universe
Without even knowing it
They shaped every living atom in the billions of galaxies
And he went along destroying it in his wake
They weren't just another species under his mighty wrath
He's said it before
He'll say it again
But they were giants
Compared to him,
Who left destruction and hate
Who despises himself more than any being in the cosmos
And has proved again and again
Yes, he saves
But not all the time
Yes, he loves
But never as long as he would think
He does this easily
Without a second thought
To the people who might get hurt from helping
To those that he gave a chance at repentance
And to those who simply despised him
For the things he had taken from them
He almost never thinks of this
He almost never thinks of people lost
The memories lost The love lost
The moments lost He almost never thinks of this,
For if he were to submit his mind
To these indescribably painful thoughts,
He would lose his sanity
The one thing that has kept him going all of these millennia
To lose it would be suicide
But today, of all days
The thoughts return
And with a vengeance
He grabs his head and falls neatly to the floor
His clothes rustle the grating
And all of this time gone by
And not a single being to share it with
He had stopped after a while
The last one was the impossible girl
Now that she was possible again
He said 'no more'
Never did he think he would see the day
That he would say 'no more'
It wasn't a loud sentence
Nor was it spoken in his mind
It was a soft broken whisper that had told the end for him
Other people always guessed it would be
Loud, like a storm,
For his namesake
But yet it was the humble whisper
Of a man broken to time
And broken to loss
Thoughts stormed 'round in his head
Evil things not to be spoken
"It said I would die in battle, why would it say that?"
"You can't! You can't do this!"
"It's not fair! I could do so much more!"
"I don't think I can, I've found a new life here."
"You are not alone."
"I'm sorry."
"My raggedy man, goodbye."
"Run you clever boy, and remember me."
"Goodbye, sweetie."
Too much
It was too much
This was greater than any war
He had ever fought in
The warring of a tortured mind
Something not to be meddled with
There are dark things to be remembered
But he never wanted to remember
"No more. No more, please."
It was a silent cry indeed
"I've lived too long, long enough"
Hands wrapped round his ears
But couldn't block out the sound
Too much sound
Standing and leaning against the railing
Stumbling towards the doors
They open with a breeze
He falls out of the door into soft grass
Feels it between his fingers
It had been so many years
How many?
How long since he had seen another living being?
He almost couldn't remember
How long had it been?
Oh, that's right
...A very very long time
Since he had stopped taking people
On his little adventures
Far too long
Well over 400 years
Pitiful
His eyes dart around and he sucks in each breath like it will be his last. Slowly pushing himself up onto his feet, he spins around looking for the source of a new and frightening sound coming nearer by the second. The wind picks up and makes the deep maroon grass shake and flow around his feet. The groaning and whirring of time machines became defining as the graceful giant ships materialised in random areas around the startled Time Lord. The sound of them was accompanied by different sounding ships, of every size and shape, containing every evil thing that ever hated him. Shining metal hulls could be seen from miles around, with the twin suns' light gleaming off of them. He ran. Faster than he had ever run in his life.
How did I get myself into this mess?
He had been atop a cloud in the sky, just like before the impossible girl. He had finished. Never again would he submit himself to the tortures of having somebody torn away from him. Never. He had finally learned his lesson. He had ignored every time the phone rang. The TARDIS stopped taking him random places, because he would always just sit there, unmoving, until she took him back to his cloud. He almost never came down anymore. Never craved sentient contact. Never looked at the stars. Soon, he never left his box. Most days he spent in the library, filling his mind to keep the nightmares away. Learnt every language there ever was or will be to learn. Memorized every single syllable of every word there was. When he got tired of that, he made new languages. After that, he wrote books. Novels, poems, tomes. He never remembered, because it always hurt too much.
Then, one day a terrible noise sounded over his ship from the sky. It sounded like a million starships bursting into orbit just above Cardiff, which was where he had stayed all this time. He scrambled out of his sofa in the library and ran up the ramp to the TARDIS doors. But he drew up short when he got there.
I've betrayed the trust of everyone, everywhere. Why should I go out there now? They've all probably forgotten about me anyway.
He hesitated at the doors a moment longer, but his curiosity soon took over as he pushed the doors and stepped outside. The force from the wind almost took him off of his feet. His eyes glazed the sky in horror and amazement. It was, in fact, quite a few starships packed into the sky all over Cardiff, and every single light, every gun, faster, every deadly thing, every evil weapon, pointed directly at him.
"You-are-the-being-known-as-the-Doc-tor! Con-firm!"
Daleks. It's always them, isn't it? How did they find me?
"Yes! Very good! Did you read that in a pamphlet somewhere then?
Good. Good to know his sarcasm was still intact.
"You will come with us now, or we will wage war on this puny planet, and every inhabitant thereof, destroying it for the glory of our empire and the galaxy!"
Sontarans? That's not good. Very not good.
He looked closely and staggered back in realization. They were all here. All for him. Every single being that disposed him was here now. They had somehow tracked him down again after all these years. He thought that he was hidden. Silly. Of course they would know he would return to Earth.
This is like the Pandorica all over again.
The last two weeks were a blur. He had tried to reason with the fleets,but to no avail. He couldn't bluff his way out of this one. He had to agree to their terms. At least they were faithful in their agreement. He watched through the Windows of a giant ship as they flew up and away from the earth, leaving it unharmed. He sighed in relief as they led him down corridors and to a cell. Chained him up and left him on the ground without food and water for days on end. The usual rant. You can come out when you agree to tell us everything. Nothing new. But then the days blurred together, they didn't let him sleep, and then they took him up top. Threatened him with the destruction of Earth until he wanted to punch them in the face. Then they released the bombs. Gone. Humans were gone. They destroyed everywhere except England and most parts of the North. He had no idea that they had lied to him, and that the human race still lived on. How he wept for the humans. Killed because he wouldn't say a few words. But how important those words were. He told them to stop. He would tell them, but he needed his ship. If he did anything like try to disappear, then they would and could fire on him and entertained of the earth. He got into the TARDIS and flew it across the galaxies, leading the fleets to his home world. He was forced to say his name. It took everything he had to say no. But they were going to completely destroy earth, and if that wasn't enough, they also had multiple planets hostage, ready to be blown up entirely. Then he broke his promise. He said it. Hovering over Gallifrey, the Time Lock broke, and all hell let loose.
From there, a chase ensued, and lasted long into the days, then they tracked him down to a remote spot on Gallifrey, one of the few untouched places of beauty that the Time War hadn't destroyed. With the help of their new found Time Lord friends, they managed to trap him there. Which brings us full circle back to the events of now.
Running. Always with the running. It will be my death.
He scrambled up rolling hills and ducked past trees. He could always hear the sound of heavy boots following him. He ran until he could run no more. Until a huge cliff dropped beneath him as he skidded to a halt. The heavy footfalls came closer until they were right behind him. He turned around, ready to face them. All weapons trained on him, and he felt the heat from their stares burning holes into his head. His eyes were red rimmed as he calmly shoved his hands into his waistcoat pockets. He rocked back on his heels and looked at the ground. He would not show his fear and pain to these evil beings.
"Right. Okay. Yes, so, this is it. No more running. Here I am. Now what do you want with me? You had me open the Time Lock, and for what? Now most of you will die along with me. You lot never think these things through, do you? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"
His anger had erupted, and his fists were clenched so hard that his nails dig out wells in his skin. He had become the Storm. The Predator. The Destroyer of Worlds.
"We want you to feel our pain. To know what its like to be endlessly bombarded with loss and defeat. To know that there is no chance of escape, ever."
Why that cheeky Sontaran, I ought to wring his neck...
"Loss? You speak to me of LOSS?"
He began to walk towards the Sontaran, but was stopped by the sounds of weapons beings turned up and readied at him. He glared at them and stepped back to the cliff face, ready to be done. He stepped off the edge, only to be pulled back last minute by a strong arm.
"Oh, no you don't. Only we will get to do that."
"You have destroyed us all, and you will beg for mercy that will never come because of what you do here today! I have fought against you for so long, that my fight has gone, and you will be left to wonder when you ever, ever thought this was a good idea. Remember this when your family is all gone, remember this when you and every other living being is blasted off the face of this planet and every last planet in the universe! Remember me, when everything is gone, and remember that I could have helped you!"
As compassionate and fiery as his moving speech was, there was still a few new soldiers in the ranks, unsteady with their guns, and a shot was accidentally fired out. No one figured out who the transgressor ever was. The shot burned into his right arm, and he yelled out in frustration and pain. The rest of the troops were arguing among themselves and each other about who fired the shot, and that it was unfair that one of them did it, and not all of them together.
He ran and pushed his way through the crowd, startling a few of them into shooting him, but instead they missed and shot others. Soon a full out battle began between the ground troops, and others began to fly out of their ships to join the fight. He ran on until he thought his lungs would burst, and stopped right in front of a grassy knoll overlooking the battle, and paused to see the fighting creatures before him. Everywhere, in the sky, and on the ground. High in mountains, and underneath the great western sea in the kingdom's of water, there was death. Something had to be done.
He called his TARDIS to him with the sonic, and it materialized before him. He shoved through the doors, and began punching in things into the database, and giving off massive amounts of energy. He was going to create another, stronger, Time Lock. It began to work. He felt the waves of vortex energy swirling up through the TARDIS to the sky, engulfing the planet. This Lock was of different make, but it would still work well enough. He stepped outside of his ship, and whispered a new name to the sky as the Lock hardened and became solid energy. There was no way out of here now, unless he broke the Lock again, he was stuck here forever. Unless, of course, he left within five minutes before it solidified. Then he would be fine. He turned and saw the continued fighting and walked towards his ship.
As the fighting behind his escalated, a stray shot escaped the crowd and hit the Time Lord in his stomach. Lights flashed in front of his eyes as he struggled to contain the pain. He dropped to his knees as golden regeneration energy flowed around him.
"No. No not now. Anytime but now."
He gasped and rolled to his feet and stumbled towards the TARDIS, only to have another shot hit him squarely in the chest. He fell to the ground again, clutching his shirt. He felt his hearts beat slow to a stop and the regeneration flowed over him, and he was hit again. He fell backwards and his hand fell limply to his side. The regeneration had stopped. He was dying now. It was time to say goodbye. He prayed a silent prayer to all of his family and all of his companions if past, and felt his body grow cold.
The troops fought continually around his body until there were only a few survivors, and they were soon picked off by passing Daleks and Gallifreyans. It would be weeks until a group of Time Lords found him next to an old model TARDIS. The small group looked over the now dead body, and decided to give him a burial. Some of them, he had known when he was a small child, but they wouldn't recognize him now. He was taken and buried in proper formal fashion and thought about never again by his people as the war continued inside of the new Time Lock.
Thousands of light years away, and many years into the future, and past, people mourned. They knew not why they did, but they knew it was terrible.
In the late 1970's, a couple stared out into the sky wondering why this night happened to be sad. A pain had formed in their gut, and they only knew that it was time to keep carrying on. The man went back inside while his redhead companion stayed outside and stared into the night sky, with beautiful green eyes still full of wonder for the stars. She sighed and went back into the house to finish writing the next chapter of a story she was deeply into.
A young woman shot down targets with her husband in a shooting range. They stopped shooting at the same time and looked at each other before staring into the sky for a moment. They felt deep sadness for a moment, then it was gone.
"Alrighty Mickey boy, I'd say that's enough practice for one day, don't you think?" the woman asked her husband as they strode away from the course.
In Victorian London, an ancient lizard woman from the beginning of time made her way to her carriage, only to be stopped mid-walk with a deep sadness radiating from somewhere in her.
"Strax, do you feel that?" she asked with a worried look in her eyes.
"No madam, I do not feel anything, well, actually... I might. What is this? It is almost like... an inner war feeling... interesting..." the short Sontaran chortled as the woman stepped up onto the carriage and rode off through the night.
A redhead secretary sat in a restaurant with her mates,talking about the day's office drama. No one noticed as she looked through the pained glass windows into the distant sky. After a moment she went right back to talking and thought nothing of it. But for just a small moment. She felt sad for no reason at all.
Oh well. Life goes on.
A man in a heavy army greatcoat strode into the street with a coffee in his hand, enjoying the quiet of the night. They had just gotten in a great bust. An Ectomorph had gotten its greasy little hands on his vortex manipulator somehow, and it had been a rough night trying to track the bugger down. They had eventually found it and got the wristband back, but it was badly damaged, and there was some work to do before he got it working again. All a day in the life for the Torchwood team. Tonight though, Jack looked up at the night sky and find himself depressed. He felt something wrong all day, but had been ignoring it until now. He leaned against the wall of a nearby shop and sighed to himself. The feeling finally passed and he went back on his way to the base to finish up for the night.
Ianto, here I come. He thought to himself grinning.
In another universe...
A young blonde girl sat on a bridge over the river Thames. A skinny man with a pinstriped suit sat next to her swinging his legs over the water,making her giggle. She stopped suddenly, and looked up at the sky with a confused look plastered on her face. Then she began to cry, and the man held her close.
"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked baffled at her suddenly strange behavior. But soon, he felt it too, and he choked back a sob with her.
"You can feel it too, John?" the blonde asked and he just nodded yes as they stared at the sky together.
All across the universe, people mourned, though they knew not why. The universe had lost a great man, but it would never let anyone forget the good he did. The stars still shone just as brightly as they ever had, and life went on.
That was the day the universe sang back.