Hi, this story happens to be a fuller for the boredom I have during the time my Beta is well....Beta-ing. I hope you enjoy this random-ness.

Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, I don't own Ben&Jerry. I wish I did but I don't. : )

I have finally discovered true love--- Ben & Jerry.

"Fuck!" I screamed as I cut my self with the razoring and throwing the spoon halfway across the room. I quickly decided that shaving just wasn't worth it tonight. It's not like I have anyone special to de-hair for.

"Might as well grow the damn Amazon!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, echoing in my condo. I jumped out of the bath and dried off and lost my balance as I stepped on my fuzzy slippers. I managed to catch myself before falling to the ground of course, because I have that much skill.

"Bella, are you okay? Should the Fire Brigade be alerted?" Alice shouted above her favorite show, House. I rolled my eyes. Alice picks now to torment me. I think the fuzzy slippers have threatened me enough today.

"No, Alice. I'm fine... I think. We have any band aids?"

"Bella, yes. With you in the house we always have band aids, stupid." Alice said moving toward the cabinet.

Hi, I'm Bella Swan a.k.a The Natural Disaster. On the time when I am not killing myself with slippers, I am writing a Daily Column in the North Valley Village New Paper.

Sure, it pays good money. And sure, I get to go to many places. But I want to be a writer. I can write like nobodies business, I've been told. For the past four years I have been sitting in that little cubical in that little fuck of a corner. And I've enjoyed every second of it.

You wanna know why?

Edward fucking Anthony fucking Cullen. This man was pure sex appeal. Every girl he walked by fainted, like in those old cheesy sitcoms. His bronze hair blew around in the wind and his man-pecks flaunted themselves under that suit of his. Well, not exactly like that but pretty damn close. Edward Cullen. I loathed him and fully worshiped him. I wasn't noticed by him in the work place of course. I was tall, but pudgy. I was funny, but I had a honking horse laugh. I had a face and... well yeah, a face. So, as you can see, for the past 4 years I've known Edward Cullen, he is pretty stuck in my mind. I procrastinate every summer to get in shape and win him like Alice has been telling me, but with a hectic schedule I have on my hands... When Ice Cream is seen can't be resisted.

So, here I am. On my way to ending the 5th summer since I have known Edward Cullen and I was feeling better then ever before. I had lost 40 pounds so I weigh at 115 now. (Alice banned all junk food and meats.. I happen to be a veggie now.) She stacked up my wardrobe which could make Hedi Klum cry and I finally felt worthy of some peoples existence.

Some.

So it was a late Friday. I was throwing my jacket over my shoulder as I logged off my computer and chewed on a Weight Watchers bar and pushed in my chair with one peep heeled clad foot. And she walked in.

Julie Hanson. My boss, who hates me. Ever since I dropped her donut and she ate it, she hated me. What? So it is my fault she likes the taste of Grass, Sidewalk, and my shoe? Nooo. But she hates me anyways.

And she has one thing I have always wanted. Noo... not an all elevator pass. Edward.

When I was around her, I felt bad for myself. I think everybody did, except the Beauties. Yeah, yeah... I named the popular group of people in my job place. The cliques started in 2nd Grade and they are still around now. I happen to be the president of Nobody Town. Actually population 1.

So here I am. Bella Swan. Party of one.. well two as in counting Alice. But on the Edward boat, one.

I am determined to make this next year the best. If its the last thing I do.

Want me to continue?!

Review!