So, I was surfing Google Images for funny Harry Potter pics, and I found this one:
. #harry%20potter%20vs%20twilight%20facebook
(If it doesn't work, look for it on my bio.)
So, I started thinking, what if I wrote something to flesh out the song? And here is the product of that psychotic brainchild!
Enjoy! - Mary
The Dark Lord Voldemort was sitting at a grand table with two of his most trusted followers, Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. He groaned, putting his hands over his face.
"What did you say you wanted to do, Bellatrix?"
"Watch a movie! It's a Muggle invention that uses moving pictures to tell a story. But you can't interact with the pictures, and the movie I want to watch isn't a real story."
"It's called The Lion King, my Lord," Lucius interjected.
"Ugh, fine, just don't expect me to watch it with you."
"Oh, please my Lord! It would be such fun to watch it with you!"
"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine."
- One and a half hours later -
"That was amazing!" cried Bellatrix as the credits rolled.
Lucius and Voldemort both nodded in agreement, the latter far more reluctantly.
Bellatrix gasped.
"I have the most brilliant idea ever!"
"What now, woman?!" Voldemort cried.
"You know that song, Hakuna Matata, right?"
"Yeeeees."
"We should make a parody of it! Like, one that fits with our evil regime!"
"*gasp* Instead of Hakuna Matata, we use the Killing Curse!" Lucius cried.
"Yes! That's a perfect idea, Lucius!" Bellatrix cackled madly.
"We shall make the most evilly awesome song ever!"
- About two or three days of planning later -
It was time for the weekly Death Eater meeting. Bellatrix, Lucius and strangely Voldemort all had these creepy grins on their faces.
"Is everybody here, Severus?" called Voldemort.
"Yes, my Lord," called Severus, who had seen the threesome watching the film, and catching them later whispering maniacally, had a slight inkling of what was going to happen.
"Good, good. Bellatrix, if you would please begin."
"Ok! Please take one paper and pass down the rest."
She flung a spell at an area of the room, and suddenly, a jaunty tune began to play.
LV (Lord Voldemort): Avada Kedavra!
BL (Bellatrix Lestrange): What a wonderful phrase!
LM (Lucius Malfoy): Avada Kedavra!
LV: Ain't no passing craze!
BL: It means I'm killing
LM: Mudbloods, House Elves, or Slaves!
LV: It's our problem freeeeee
BL: Philosophy!
LM: Avada Kedavra!
And as they continued, more and more Death Eaters joined in, until, at the very last chorus, all of the Death Eaters were singing.
The door slammed open, and Harry Potter cried out, "Surrender Lord Voldemort, for I, the great Harry Potter, have come to stop your … nefarious … schemes?"
The Death Eaters carried on, oblivious to the boy wizard in front of them.
"WTF?!" Harry cried out.
"I know, right?" said Maya, who stood right behind him.
And there you have it! Maya* is the name of my little sister (* not her real name), and she requested that she be put in here after I told her about the story idea. I hope you enjoyed.
Yaaaaaaay! - Mary