A Little Piece of Heaven
Your hand still fits perfectly in mine. I can't believe I ever thought of leaving you behind. I had wanted out. It had all become too much. I had just wanted the best for you. Randy kept glancing at me. He always told me I would get this far away look in my eyes whenever I think of that day…
"I'll come round after training."
"Hmm. Okay. Around half six then?"
"Yeah, sure."
Randy lent down and gently kissed me on the check. He flashed me his trademark dazzling smile, the one I could never get enough of. With a sigh I turned and walked away.
"Baby, I'm sorry. You know what coach will do if I miss another training."
I turned around and said,
"Alright, just don't be late, okay?"
His smile could let him get away with anything.
Fourth period. History. I sat alone. Everyone overlooked me in that class. Even the teacher sneered at me. Homophobes. I remember when I used to love this class. Now it's the one I most dread going too. Fag was muttered as I walked down to the back of the class room. Tommy, my 'best friend forever' in primary school, now hung out with the 'in' crowd. They all threw paper balls at me when Randy wasn't around. Everyone loved Randy. He was the star of the football team. Every girl wanted him. Every guy wanted to be his friend. But he chose me to be his best friend; the one he fell in love with. They all hated me for 'stealing their quarterback'. To them I was nothing but a disgusting faggot.
Lunch break. Phil isn't here today. He's the only one that actually likes me at this school. We've been friends since forever. He still loves me, even though I'm gay. I might not bother going to the cafeteria. Every day Randy says I can sit with him and his other friends. I did once. They all acted so polite. But later they cornered me in the hallway and said if I ever tainted their table again, they'd leave me with more than a black eye. I had to tell Randy I'd walked into a door. I decided to walk out and go to the park. I'd always loved the swing. I always spend hours there. It made me stop thinking about everything.
It's nearly seven thirty. I suppose he's not coming then. I should have expected this. He's been like this for a while now. He doesn't want me anymore. Nobody does. I'm all alone now. I don't even know why I bother anymore, my life is pointless, the only decent thing in it was Randy, and now he doesn't want me either. I may as well end it before I have to endure anymore pain…
Dear Randy, I love you. Always have, always will. But I can't do this anymore. I'm just so scared I'll lose you. And without you, I'm nothing. You will always have my heart, but everybody's gotta breathe their last breath sometime. And I guess my time is now. It's building up inside of me. A place so dark, so cold. I have to set myself free. Here I am with you; I'm there till the end. Memories are calling, so farewell my friend. Goodbye Randy, please try to remember me...
Message sent. The bottles of pills are calling my name. But I guess I'm content. Without me around, he can focus on football. Date the head cheerleader. Be a normal jock. I was just holding him back.
One pill, two pills, three pills, floor…
Jeffy. Please. Please wake up. I need you. Im nothing without you. Don't leave me Jeffro…
Randy? I slowly opened my eyes.
"Oh thank God. Jeff can you hear me?"
"No. I'm deaf idiot."'
"Jeffy! Don't you ever scare me like that again, okay?"
"But, you don't want me anymore. You're better off without me. You could be normal if I wasn't around."
"Jeffro, you don't understand. I'd give up everything for you. I love you..."
"And I still do. Forever and always."
Randy smiled at me. I squeezed his hand and dragged him towards the ice cream parlor.
--I know its crappy, but it was for creative writing at school. Just thought I'd share it x]