Author's Note: First off, this is really out-of-character, especially for the Joker - but it's slash, for cryin' out loud! The only reason this is a Harlequin tale is because she's mentioned - I'll get back to ones with her actually in it eventually, I promise. "One bad day" is a reference to a line by the Joker in the graphic novel The Killing Joke - which is also incidentally the first real comic I've ever liked.

They were in the kitchen again - but slow-dancing in a kind of waltz this time instead of rolling around together on the floor. A soft classical piece issued gently from the radio on the counter as they held each other close. Crane's eyes were closed, his face buried in his more masculine partner's neck.

Joker smirked suddenly. "Betcha can't tell me what this song's called," he teased. It was one of the many somewhat cruel games between them: Joker loved to torment Jonathan because he couldn't think straight when sexually aroused.

Jonathan's reply, however, was immediate, muffled slightly by the clown's neck. " `Concerto for Clarinet in A Major: Adagio`, by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart."

Title and composer's full name, damn him!

Unfortunately, this also meant that Jonathan hadn't been stimulated yet.

Pity.

The Joker decided he would just have to change that - later though: Jonathan seemed to be enjoying their present methods of exchanging affection.

Joker was silent as he listened to the peaceful, drowse-inducing composition - one of many that Jonathan seemed to like - and after a moment he admitted, "It is kinda nice."

"Mm-hmm," Jonathan agreed dreamily. He then suddenly raised his head and met Joker's eyes, his next comment seeming to Joker to be completely unexpected and out-of-the-blue.

"I think someone knows," he said abruptly.

A puzzled Joker's brow furrowed. "Knows what?"

Jonathan rested his cheek against his lover's. "About us."

Joker snorted derisively. "How could they? It's not as if I" - he was about to say fuck but exchanged it for a gentler term - "make love to you in public." Then his eyes grew hungry, and he began to stutter, as he usually did when he got excited. "Unless, unless you, you wanted me to. . ." He trailed off suggestively.

Jonathan looked up at Joker again and, without warning, began to cry. "What if, what if someone does find out?. . .If they came across us one day. . .Oh, Joker - what if it's Harley?. . .You know how she is. . .We'll be ruined. . .They'll take you away from me. . ." His breath hitched as a sudden, terrible realization hit him. "What if, what if the Batman kills you?. . .Or someone else does?. . .One day, when no one's expecting it. . .All it takes is one bad day. . .What if that happens to me?. . .I, I know you'll eventually get over me. . .over us. . .find another nice man to love you. . .one that can actually give you what you want how you want it. . .But I - I wouldn't be able to bear losing you. . .The thought's too much. . .Oh, Joker - I can't stand it. . ." He sobbed harder.

"Ssh. . ." Joker murmured soothingly, kissing away the pearlescent tears that shone on Jonathan's cheeks. He made sure Jonathan was staring directly into his eyes before he continued, "I'll tell you something right now, Jonathan: truth is, there probably wouldn't be anyone else for me. I, I mean, look at me - I'm just too damn good-looking for everyone else to stand." Jonathan giggled, and the Clown Prince of Crime finished, "No one understands me like you do."

"Oh, oh Joker. . ." Tears flowed down over Jonathan's cheeks again; then he smiled. "You're just trying to butter me up for when we have sex later tonight."

"It's true," Joker insisted, kissing his lover long and slow to prove it. Jonathan immediately went limp, melting into the kiss as Joker held him tight.

END

I just realized: I do make Jonathan cry a lot, don't I? For those of you who don't like that, tough luck - this is my version of the character and I will do with him as I please. Oooh, I just had a really dirty thought right there. . .Oh, wow. . .