Summary: MWPP. Seventh year - Remus and Sirius have a midnight excursion to the Astronomy Tower. RL/SB - not your ship? Get off and swim.
AN: Hope you all enjoy it! Only my second story - please be kind and read and review!
Rooftops and Screaming
"Sirius," hissed Remus. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" He looked up nervously to check their dorm mates were still sleeping. Sure enough, James took in a great heaving breath and rolled over, and Peter snorted. Remus smiled. Waking them up was not on the list of activities.
"Yes, yes," said Sirius loftily, not looking up. "Of course it is." He continued to rummage through James' trunk as quietly as he could. He sifted through the year's worth of potions supplies, love letters and abandoned essays, until…"Aha!" he exclaimed pulling out a shimmering silver cloak. "Found it! Wish Jamsie would keep his stuff tidier."
"You can't talk," said Remus incredulously, slightly louder than he had intended.
"Sshhh!" hissed Sirius. They were silent for a moment, listening for noises in the dormitory. There was another loud grunting snore from Peter and a moan from James that sounded suspiciously like "Lily." Sirius sniggered. "Dreaming about his little Lilykins, is he? Isn't she good enough now he's got her? Insatiable whore." Remus silenced him with a look and they crept downstairs together.
"Ah, shit!" cried Sirius, when safely down in the common room. "I've forgotten the map."
Remus smiled slightly. "Well, go get it, then!" Shamefaced, Sirius bounded up the stairs.
Remus smiled indulgently. He still hasn't learnt the meaning of quiet. But if he had, he wouldn't be their Sirius. The embers of the fire seemed to flicker for a moment and Remus wrapped his arms around himself slightly. He didn't like being alone. He willed Sirius back downstairs. Sirius always made him feel safe. He always had done, but now Remus understood why…. Loud footsteps announced his arrival. "Sshhh!" cautioned Remus. Sirius pulled a face.
"James is too busy dreaming about Lily, and nothing short of an earthquake would wake Pete." Remus smiled; this much was true. "Now, come on. We've wasted enough time already." Remus ungrudgingly let himself be dragged by Sirius out of the common room.
It was very dark in the hallway. Even after seven years at Hogwarts, Remus had never quite managed to shake off the feeling that there was always something lurking around every dark corner. He wasn't afraid of the dark, far from it; there just seemed to be this presence at Hogwarts that he could never quite place. Under the invisibility cloak, he grasped Sirius' hand, linking their fingers together. Nothing seemed quite as bad with Sirius there.
"You alright there, Remus?" Sirius turned to him slightly, smiling.
"Yeah," replied Remus. Sirius' smile broadened, a twinkle in his eye and (if Remus hadn't already guessed) this told him where they were going.
"Astronomy tower, right?" Remus asked, pretending to be cross, but he couldn't help laughing. "Going for a quick grope?"
"Moony!" Sirius cried; Remus quickly shushed him. "How could you think something of me?" They were both laughing now. "I would never have a 'quick grope' with you. That is reserved merely from one night standers and I assure you, you are much more than that." He stopped walking. "You mean more to me than that."
Remus smiled up at Sirius and said, completely straight-faced, "Then I expect at least a blow job."
"Remus Lupin!" cried Sirius, much too loud in fake shock, causing Moony to try and put a hand over his mouth. Sirius flung it off, almost dislodging the cloak in the process. "Sweet, virginal Remus Lupin, I cannot believe it of you! You are a prefect, Moony, how could you?"
Sirius' voice had been rising with each sentence, and with his final exclamation, they heard footsteps. "Filch!" hissed Remus, dragging Sirius behind a pillar, seeming to forget they were invisible. He clamped a hand over Sirius' mouth to stem the chuckles that seemed determined to escape. Remus peered round the column, gazing through the darkness.
It was Filch. Filch and Mrs Norris. The caretaker's eyes were narrowed. He prowled forwards, staring into the darkness. His eyes raked Remus and he froze automatically, but Filch, of course, saw nothing. "I know we heard something, my sweet," he murmured to the cat, who purred. "There are students out of bed and, mark my words my pet, they will not go unpunished."
He turned and limped (Sirius had set off some fireworks the previous day and Filch had got in the way) away and Remus felt Sirius shaking with suppressed mirth, but couldn't reprimand him as he felt just the same. "Oh my God!" gasped Sirius, when they had ran safely out of earshot. "I think he's-" he broke off for another gasp of air, "-in love with Mrs Norris!" He cracked up again and Remus chuckled. "Seriously – all those times we heard him and the Muggle Studies Teacher up in the Astronomy Tower– now we know the truth!"
Remus scrunched up his face in disgust. "Ew – Padfoot, that's disgusting! Do you even remember what we heard? No one in their right minds would ever… do… those things to a cat!"
"Well," said Sirius, pretending to think hard, "I don't really think Filch is in his right mind, Re."
Remus shook his head, then said, "I think you now have a promise to keep for me, Sirius."
Sirius smiled mischievously. "I know, Remus. Can't wait, can you? I'm that sexy, am I?"
Remus smacked him playfully on the arm. "Prat."
Sirius fell silent and stopped walking. His hand, which was still interlocked with Remus', tightened slightly. Remus looked at him, straight into his deep grey eyes. They were full of a something he couldn't quite place and Remus was almost frightened. "What is it?" he said softly.
Sirius gave no verbal answer. The gap between them slowly closed until lips were locked together, not violently, but gently, softly, lovingly. Remus' free hand rose up to grasp Sirius' black hair, and Sirius' to stroke the small of Remus' back. Invisible to the world, they closed their eyes, feeling nothing but each other. And soon, Sirius' hands moved down to slowly undo Remus' buttons. They hardly made it to the Astronomy Tower in time.
When clothes lay in heaps on the icy stone floor, Sirius pulled Remus closer to him, seeking his warmth. Their lips broke apart, and Sirius hungrily licked the nape of Remus' neck.
"I think," Remus said huskily, "that you may have to take back the things you said earlier, Sirius."
"Which things?" murmured Sirius, beyond caring, as Remus' hands moved further down his body.
"You said," Remus breathed, "that I was sweet… and virginal… I think you of all people would know that was a lie, Padfoot."
Sirius would have laughed had he the breath, but Remus did it for the both of them, the joy ringing between and around them. Sirius' fingers pulled hard at Remus' hair and he gasped.
And as he came in a brilliant thrill of ecstasy, a breathy voice murmured in his ear, "I love you."
"That was really quite unfair of you, Moony."
The moon had rose and was now dipped, making way for the sun. The sky already spoke faintly of the coming dawn; a weak rosy tinge blushed the horizon.
"What was unfair?" asked Remus. He was naked, but not cold, not with Sirius' arms around him. He never felt cold with Sirius.
"Saying 'I love you' when I was clearly in no position to answer," replied Sirius, with a small smile.
"I'm sorry," said Remus, in mock solemnity. "I can say it again now if you like." It was funny, really. Remus never tired of saying it, or of hearing it. He never felt fed up of Sirius, or of… 'Us,' thought Remus. He didn't want to be apart from Sirius ever again. These stolen moments in the Astronomy Tower were never enough. James and
Peter had been told now, but it didn't mean they were quite ease with them, so they still met like this in secret. But it wasn't enough… he wanted nothing more than to scream from the rooftops how much he loved Sirius, how much (he thought) Sirius loved him and how happy he was; how Sirius made him feel and how they… how he, Remus Lupin, was the one to tame the sex god. Even with the threat of Voldermort hanging over them, he couldn't help cracking a smile. Out of such darkness, they had arisen. But it wasn't enough…
"Hey," said Sirius. "What's wrong?"
Remus felt tears rise up in his eyes. How could this be bad? How could something that felt so right be wrong? "I love you," he choked, flinging his arms around Sirius' neck; pulling him tighter, closer. He had the feeling he was holding too tight, but Sirius said nothing. He wasn't letting go anyway. "I love you, Sirius!"
Sirius stroked the back of Remus' neck gently. "And I love you, Remus."
"How can this-" Remus choked back a sob "-this… us… how can it be wrong?" The grip he had on Sirius' neck must be painful by now, but Sirius didn't react. He let himself be held and held Remus in return. "I love you, Sirius. I fucking love you! Why is that bad? I'm so happy, Sirius! More happy than I can ever remember being. And I want to tell the world, but we can't! We can't!" He was sobbing truly now, taking in great gasps of air in between racking sobs that shook their bodies together. Together…
"Why can't they just accept us? Why won't the world be kind? I'm tired of the world being cruel!"
Sirius said nothing, merely held Remus gently until the tremors had left his body. Remus eventually fell limp in Sirius' arms, tired, emotionally drained. He was ashamed of his outburst now, but the things he had said were true. James and Peter would accept them, of course they would; they just needed adjusting time. But the world… The wizarding world was more old fashioned than the Muggle one. 'Queers' were still mobbed and hated and… feared. That was the one Remus hated most. He saw enough hatred, enough fear, as a werewolf. He knew what it felt like.
Sirius pushed him back slightly and put a hand under his chin until their eyes caught. "Moony." He spoke softer than Remus had ever heard him speak before. "You love me. And I love you. And that's what really matters." Remus wanted to speak, but Sirius wouldn't let him. "No, wait. I know what you mean: all I want to do is scream from the rooftops about how incredible you are… but I can't. But… we have each other, Moony. And James and Peter will stand by us. We are what matter. Fuck the world!"
"I'd rather fuck you, thanks," Remus replied, but Sirius didn't smile. He rose to his feet suddenly, so Remus almost slipped right over. "What are you doing?" he called laughingly, but Sirius didn't answer. He was crouched over by the wall, staring rather intently. He drew his wand and murmured something Remus couldn't hear. As Remus rose, he could see Sirius doing some kind of movements with his wand. "Sirius?" said Remus softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You alright?"
Sirius stood up beside him, surveying his work. "Yes. Look, Moony."
On the wall, it read Sirius and Remus.
"Let the world know. Or the world that read it at least."
"I think most people who come up here are far too occupied to read writing on walls," said Remus. "But I understand the sentiment, Sirius. Rooftops and screaming are for people like Lily and James. We can't do it."
Sirius put an arm round Remus' shoulder and they stood looking at the words for a while longer. "Well," said Sirius eventually. "I've had great fun tonight, courtesy of Messer Moony and I think it is time for me to return the favour."
"I wouldn't mind that," said Remus.
As they walked back to the transfigured bed, Sirius said, "Remus the world is cruel; there's no denying it. But there's so much beauty here too. I wish you could see it."
And Remus turned Sirius' head towards him, so that deep grey eyes met glistening amber. "I do," he said.
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