A/N: We had to read The Scarlet Letter in English class. A brief summary of the book, it's about a HUGE scandal, a really evil villain and a possessed child, all taking place during Puritan times in Boston. If you're reading the book in school now, don't do your book report off this because you probably will fail, read the spark notes.
--All casting was done by Slade--
"This isn't fair!" Robin said, "how come Slade gets to do the casting?"
"Because I rock," he said, "Ok we all know Chillingworth and Pearl are the only cool people in the book. I'm Chillingworth, Raven's Pearl because she can turn into a three year old. Robin's Dimmesdale, Starfire can be Hester, Beast Boy and Cyborg can narrate."
"Hey!" B.B said, "I don't wanna be the stupid narrator!"
"To bad. Here are your scripts," Slade gave out scripts, "learn your lines by next week or die."
Ye Olde Cast
Starfire - Hester Prynne (lady who committed adultery, Hawthorne has a lot of respect for her I do not)
Raven - Pearl (Hester's possessed child, the coolest character)
Robin - Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale (lame loser, always holding his heart)
Slade - Chillingworth (Hester's husband, the super creepy evil villain, extremely cool. deformed shoulder)
Beast Boy and Cyborg - the narrators
One week later on opening day…
Beast Boy: Ok, a MAD long time ago, WAAAY BACK WHEN!
Cyborg: There were all of these super religious Puritans in Boston, and there was this lady named Hester. She was married to a mad ugly old dude-
"AHEM!" Slade yelled from backstage.
Beast Boy: Ok, so her husband told her to go to Boston and that he would meet her there when he finished up on his business cuz he was some smart business scholar doctor dude. Then Hester bangs some guy, she gets pregnant and then everyone knows that she committed…
DUN DUN DUNNNNN…
B.B and Cyborg: …ADULTRY! ((Lighting and thunder strike))
Starfire walks out of the prison door holding a baby (Raven has shrunken herself down to age one) everyone is staring at her. The baby is covering the scarlet letter she was sentenced to wear for life. Then she realized there was no point in covering it, stepped onto the scaffold public shaming place thingy. And then she sees….
Slade walks in, one of his shoulders is higher than the other, "Who is that woman?" he asked a guy next to him.
"Starfire, her husband is away and she cheated on him." The guy said.
"Hmm…" Slade thought to himself, "I really shouldn't mention that I am her husband for various reasons, the first one being if the dirtbag who slept with her doesn't know who I am, I can easily get my revenge," then he spoke, "So who fathered the child?"
"We don't know she won't tell us."
"Then do a DNA test!"
"Sir, those don't exist yet."
"Damn."
Beast Boy: Later that night… in the prison!
Starfire is sitting there with her baby, when Slade walks in. He has told everyone that his name is well Slade (A/N: Let's just pretend that he has another name. I didn't want to make him take on an alias, it'd make things confusing)
"Hello Starfire," Slade said and he took out some medicine, "for the child-"
"Don't take revenge on an innocent bumgorpf!" Starfire said.
"Me no bumgorf!" Raven said and hit Starfire with her rattle, "Me is little Raven, me has name!"
"The baby… Raven did nothing to me; I want to get the baby's father." Trigon pops outta nowhere.
"You wanted to get who?" Trigon asked.
Pause.
"The actor portraying her father and not you! I mean really, am I the only one here with more brain cells than the volume of a penny?" Trigon glared at him and then walked away. "I should've known this would've happened. I couldn't have kept you happy; I'm what, ten to twenty years older than you are? Promise not to tell anybody who I am."
"I promise." Starfire said, Slade gave the baby some medicine then he left.
Cyborg: Then they sent in one of the ministers to try and get Starfire to tell who fathered he kid, he failed.
Beast Boy: And now we go three years… into the FUTURE! Let's do the time warp again! It's just a jump to the left and then a step-((starts doing the Time Warp, then Cyborg grabs his shirt and throws him off the stage))
Cyborg: Starfire had been making money by embroidering and sewing. She was living in a little isolated cottage with Raven… who's three now by the way.
"Mommy," Raven said, "who is my daddy?"
"We are all children of the Heavenly Father." Starfire said.
"He did not bring me! I have no Heavenly Father!"
Starfire gasped, "Thou must not say such things! Who are you?"
"I am your little Raven."
"Thou art not an evil monster imp-child in disguise?"
"I am your little Raven, mommy. Who is my daddy?"
"Come little Raven, let us make journey to the house of the governor so that we may deliver his gloves." They walked outside; some kids saw them and started making fun of them. Then Raven started throwing dirt at them, screaming and chasing them around. Eventually they got to the governors house.
"Hello." Batman said, "You have my gloves?"
"Yes I do." Starfire handed him the gloves.
"Ok, let's cut to why we're really here. Robin, get your arse out here," Robin walked into the room, "do we let her keep the child?"
"You will not take my bumgorf from me!"
"I believe that's for us to decide. I say we take the girl, she'll be better off being raised by a better family."
"Lookie!" Raven said, she pointed at armor. It had magnified the A on Starfire's bosom greatly, Starfire freaked and shot starbolts at it in attempt to destroy it, it was reflected out the window, then it hit Speedy while he was walking down the street. He was knocked unconscious.
"Robin, what say you?"
"Um…" Robin said holding his heart (A/N: The guy has medical problems), "She should keep her as it is a reminder of her sin."
"People think the girl is possessed she'd be better off with someone else."
"She could be a chance for Starfire to redeem herself by raising the child well."
"Ok," Batman agreed, "little Raven, where did you come from?"
Raven stared at him for about a minute. Then she said, "I was plucked from the rosebush outside the prison door!" then she fell on the floor laughing at him while he glared at Starfire.
Beast Boy: If you think Raven's creepy now just wait until you see her in the graveyard!
Cyborg: In the meantime, Slade and Robin have become friends. Slade's a doctor; Robin has medical problems so now they're living together. Slade also has been sensing a disturbance in the force, something is not right.
Slade has just walked inside; he has some weeds with him and is cutting them up to make some medicine.
"Where did you get those weeds?" Robin asked, holding his heart.
"The prop room you arrogant fool! Where else would I get them?"
"Uh… an unmarked grave."
"Yes an unmarked grave," Slade said, "grew straight up from the man's black sinful heart. He maybe oh, even… slept with a man's wife?"
"Well I didn't do anything like that so that has no affect on me."
"Hey look out there," Slade pointed to the grave yard. Starfire and Raven were there. Raven was skipping on the graves, then she found one she liked and stared dancing on it. Then she picked up some burrs and decorated Starfire's "A" with them. Then she went back to doing the moonwalk on a grave, "think Starfire is happier now that she wears the "A" she lives in shame but not guilt."
"Maybe." Glare
Glare.
Glare.
Glare.
"Am I going to get better?"
"It's more of a spiritual disease. I can't help you until you tell me what you did."
"Why do you think I did something?"
"I don't know, did you?"
"Well maybe I didn't do anything."
"I think that you did."
"And I think that I didn't"
"How do you know that I know that I think you did?"
"Maybe I do maybe I don't. Do you know?"
"I don't know that's why I'm asking you!"
"Well maybe I won't give you an answer."
"Well maybe you should."
"And maybe I shouldn't."
"Fine maybe you didn't commit adultery!"
"And maybe I did-" pause, "n't commit adultery."
"You so did."
"I…" Robin falls asleep due to a potion Slade made.
"Finally," Slade opens Robin's shirt and sees something, he then started to laugh evilly. (A/N: Hawthorne doesn't tell us what he saw…. I will assume it was a bunny)
Meanwhile Raven was running away from Starfire waving her arms in the air while Starfire chased after her, "The Black Man has Pastor Robin in his grip and he's going to catch mommy too if she doesn't keep up but he'll never catch little Raven! Hehehehe!"
A/N: That's all for the first chappie, next chapter we get to see why Dimmesdale is truly a loser and some more of Pearl the coolest possessed child ever! Please review, I do not care if you flame, all flames will be used to burn meat on a spit.