Title: H is for the humiliation that you must bear

Summary: Spock approaches Pon Farr quickly and can't deny himself the pleasures of his Captain lover. Guys, they f*** in a broom closet.

Characters: James K./ Spock

Tags: Established Relationship, fluff and porn, Porn With Plot, Pon Farr, Vulcans mate forever, Kirk is vulnerable, Kirk is self doubting, terrible attempt at Chekhov's accent, Dick Jokes, Pon Farr fics are harder than they look, Bottom Jim, Top Spock, spirk

Notes: Image Credit goes to: Unknown (If anyone knows, please comment below!)


OPINIONS, REACTIONS & COMMENTS ARE A SUSTAINABLE SOURCE OF ENERGY. EVERY REVIEW FORCES ME TO WRITE MORE. FEED THE BEAST.

In October of '14, I began a collection on Ao3 titled "The Abc's of Kinky Sex" (based upon The Lords of Acid song of the same name) where I took each of the 26 letters (Different ships & fandoms) and made a fic about each line. It took me almost 7 months to finish, but I never posted Z. Doing a little facelift and posting to this website as well. Enjoy!

Original Notes: I tried to post this sooner, I swear. Life got in the way. I also meant just write fluff. then I tried to just write porn. Plot evolved! Whoops. Enjoy. At a certain point in time you'll see words in Italics, that is what Jim is seeing at the time. (You'll know what I'm talking about when you get there.)


"Keptin on zhe bridge!" Chekhov shouts, going back to his controls.

James T. Kirk walks onto the bridge with confidence, eyeing Spock and Uhura on his right on the way in.

He flops down on his chair and runs his hands through his hair.

"Sulu, status report."

"Clear and peaceful skies, Sir."

"Just what I wanted to hear." Kirk says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Two years into the five-year mission, the last 2 weeks have been uneventful. Not the kind of "uneventful" he would report to Starfleet, but boring uneventful.

When Jim looked to his right to peer over at his lover, he was suddenly eyeing Spock's crotch, because Spock was right beside him.

"Captain," the commander stirred, hands tucked neatly behind his back. Posture perfect. "May I see you in the conference room for a moment?"

It was more a demand than a request.

"Sure, Spock." Jim's tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip. "Sulu, you have the Conn."

Spock led and Kirk followed, watching the Vulcan's ass sway in his Starfleet dress code pants. Spock opened the door, opening his arm to let Kirk in first. Kirk walked through and stood at the large 32 seat table but didn't sit. Spock forced his hands in front of him and he didn't seem his normal calm self. His pupils were dilated and his breathing seemed off.

"I foresee a complication." Spock spoke bluntly after he closed the door. "It appears as if I am having an issue focusing on anything but you, Captain."

"Jim." Kirk raised both arms as if it would explain his point, smiling like a mad man. "Jesus, Spock. We've been seeing each other for a year now. When it's just you and I, it's Jim."

"Jim." Spock offered a light smile for a small second. "It appears as if I am entering Pon Farr. We are too far into our mission to return to New Vulcan and I will require constant attention should I succumb. I fear it may interrupt our daily routine."

Kirk let him finish before he stepped forward and pressed a quick kiss to Spock's lips.

"Why would we return to New Vulcan?"

"Vulcans mate for life, as I am not aware that you know. Pon Farr is a very serious matter and if our relationship faltered for any reason, I would fail to do my duties. If we return to New Vulcan, I will be matched with a suitable mate and can return back to the Enterprise when you see fit. Unless you would like to become my companion, -"

Jim wrapped his arm around Spock's neck and rubbed it lightly.
"Are you asking me if I'd like to bond with you for life?" Jim interrupted, shock seeping into his face.

"It is not unlike a human marriage proposal, I am aware."

"Spock..." Jim was drifting. Yes, he loved Spock. In some way, he knew he always had. But James T. Kirk wasn't marriage material. "Are you proposing to me because you have to, or because you want to?"

"I-" Spock lowered his eye sight. "I do not know. I suppose it is because I would like to have you in my life. Our joining is only logical. This past year has been more than I could have hoped for,-" Spock paused. "Captain."

Jim pulled himself back. This was huge. "How long?"

"How long?" Spock repeated.

"How long will you be in Pon Farr?"

"Approximately 5.7 days, by my calculations."

"And how long from now will you not be okay?" Jim sat down at one of the chairs.

"It is not approximate. Judging on past experiences from elders, I have 24 hours until I appear animalistic."

"Okay." Jim wiped his hand across his forehead. "Okay." He whispered again.

"Should I assume that you will need some time?" When Spock looked over at Kirk, he was staring into his lap, dazed.

"What? Uh- ye-yeah. I need some time." Jim looked up and left the room, walking straight to the bridge. He couldn't be alone, he needed a distraction for such big news. He started weighing his pros and cons as he ran into a blur of a red shirt that just so happened to be Ensign Chekhov.

"So-So Sorry, Keptin! I'm vewy sorry!" Chekhov's eyes went wide when he looked at his Captain's face. "Are vu alwight? You look as if vu have 'een a ghost!" Chekhov rested his hand on Kirk's right shoulder.

"Yeah, Chekhov. I'm fine."

10 Hours Later

"Nothing going on, Captain." Sulu repeated for the fifth time that night. Jim sat at the chair, worrying his fingers and looked deep in thought. His shift was over 3 hours ago, but he stayed, along with some of the other crew, worried about their Captain. He needed to seriously think about this.

Spock was amazing. He wouldn't mind being married to him. But this wasn't like a marriage. There was no divorce, no separation, this was for life. Honestly, he wouldn't mind spending the rest of his life with Spock, but could Spock spend the rest of his life with him?

Spock appeared on the bridge again, walking directly up to the chair and folding his hands behind his back.

"Sir, may I have a moment of your time?"

"Yeah." Kirk got up, almost forgetting before he reached the lift. "Sulu has the conn!" He shouted back.

Spock followed him this time while red shirts passed by, watching closely. Kirk was so out of it, he missed it when Spock said, "Go left, Captain."

Jim turned down the hall. Spock laid his hand on his shoulder and made sure no one was coming down the hall. He pushed Jim into the Maintenance Closet and as soon as the door was closed, he pushed his lips into Kirk's.

Kirk was motionless for a second. When his brain registered what was going on, he pushed back, letting his lips open and let Spock in. Spock raised his hands to Kirk's face, avoiding his Psi points.

"I am glad to have your attention. I could not meditate without you."

Kirk briefly laughed. "I don't meditate with you."

"Precisely. However, your presence is comforting."

Spock pressed Kirk up against the wall and mouthed at his neck, causing a shiver up Kirk's spine.

"This-" Kirk huffed a breath. "is new."

"As I have previously mentioned," Spock breathed deeply into Kirk's shoulder and grabbed Kirk's right hand, lacing his fingers into it and pinning it to the wall beside them. "I cannot help myself. I see you and I instantly desire you."

"Welcome to the human race." Kirk leaned up and captured Spock in a frantic kiss, little moans escaping every time they parted for breath. Spock hitched Kirk's leg up on his, grinding his hard cock into Jim's hip. "Fuck, Spock. I kinda like this."

"I am enjoying myself, as well." Spock captured Jim's lips in another searing kiss, letting his free hand roam across Jim's chest and letting his occupied thumb rub over Jim's fingers.

"Aren't you afraid someone will catch us?"

"At this time, I could not possibly see care."

Kirk exhaled. He could. At any point and time one of his underlings could walk in and catch them in the act. His close friends knew, but they didn't announce it because then, they'd have to tell the higher-ups. He loved this, the spontaneous-ness of it, but he also wanted to stay captain. He lost it once, he wasn't losing it again.

"Spock, why don't we go back to my quarters?"

"I'm afraid that is not possible." Spock peered down and stared at the bulge at his crotch. "It appears as if this will have to suffice."

"I suppose." Kirk sighed, a shiver running down his spine as Spock licked a long stripe up his earlobe. Spock worried his fingers into Kirk's side, careful not to hurt, but to prove to Kirk how badly he needed him in that instance.

"Is something wrong?"

Kirk shrugged, trying badly to hide the look of worry on his face. "Not particularly."

Spock nodded sharply.

"Is it my proposition to be my mate, perhaps?" Spock said flatly.

"I'm still thinking on that." Kirk gave a half smile.

"Good. Please remove your undergarments."

"Uh, Spock?"

Spock began to disappear from Kirk's vision, bending at his knees until they hit the floor.

"Yes?"

"I'd prefer not to get naked? That way if someone walks in, we can play it off as something else."

"As you wish."

Kirk popped the button and undid the fly and Spock grabbed onto his waist instantly. Spock yanked at the pants and boxers frantically, trying to keep himself together and proper. When it failed, Jim ran his hands through Spock's hair. Shortly, Kirk forgot all about where they were, that he was Captain and the only thing that was on his mind was Spock.

Spock gently pulled Kirk out of his pants, licking the tip and moaning at the taste. He looked like a starved man sitting down to a buffet. Kirk couldn't help but let his head fall back and his eyes close. Spock moved his hand up his chest and used the other to pump at Kirk furiously. Kirk moaned, he didn't care who heard. Fuck them, this was amazing.

"Fuck, Spock."

He licked at the underside of Kirk's cock. "Indeed. That is the idea."

Kirk couldn't help but laugh at Spock's cool demeanor during such a frantic time.

Kirk ran his fingers through the Vulcan's cropped hair, clutching at the roots. Spock took him in his warm wet mouth, sucking at the head before pushing down as much as he could. Vulcan's gag reflexes were practically non-existent and when Jim's cock touched the back of Spock's throat, he let out a groan.

"Spock." Kirk unclenched his hand from Spock's hair and ran it down his face. "I have to say this-" Spock didn't stop sucking and slurping at Kirk's cock. "Say this n-now. No matter what I decide. I love you. I love this. Aw, fuck! I just don't know if you're rea-ready to spend your life with me."

Spock pulled away and stared up into those bright blue eyes that shine in the dark like diamonds in the moon light.

"Jim, you seem to be under the misconception that I do this out of force. But I am capable of understanding what that life entails. I may be Vulcan, but the half human in me bellows and vibrates with love and compassion for you. Do not misinterpret my proposal. I care for you more deeply than any being ever before." Spock stood, taking Kirk's face in his hands and kissed his lips softly. When he pulled back, Kirk could see the tips of his ears turning green. Spock started disappearing again, but instead, he moved onto one knee.

"My father once posed me with a query. Emotions run deep within Vulcans. In many ways, deeper than in humans. He told me I was fully capable to choose my own destiny. He then asked me to pick a path to choose." Spock shifted, taking Jim's palm into his own, running his finger down the length. "I decide that I choose you. For the rest of my life. I am to understand that I am to ask if you'll marry me?"

"Very human of you." Jim blushed. "Spock," tears started to form in the corner of his eye, touched by the proposition. "Are you willing to put up with me for that long? For the rest of your life?"

"Nothing would please be more. Furthermore, I acknowledge your difficulty in making this decision and will not pressure you further in the matter. I have 13.3 hours left until the symptoms manifest."

"Spock, did you happen to notice that you pushed me into a broom closet and proposed impromptu sex? I think your symptoms are kicked in."

"I calculate that you are correct."

Spock smirked and pulled himself up, Jim's deflating cock almost touching his nose.

"Shall I continue?"

"If you want. You're really good at this, you know?"

"My gratitude."

Spock dove back down, taking the leaking member into his mouth, willing it to become hard again. It didn't take long. A Vulcan's mouth was warmer than a human's. And it was fantastic.

The door opened, revealing Uhura and Bones giggling to each other. They turned to the opposing couple and the shock struck their faces.

Kirk looked down at his Vulcan lover and the blush started spreading quickly on his face. He immediately pulled at his pants, trying to pull them up and Spock simply remained squatting.

"Uh-" Uhura shook her head. "Sorry!" Slamming the door shut. Bones' jaw was still on the floor when it closed.

Kirk's head dropped into his hands.

"Crap." Kirk shook his head as Spock stood, taking Kirk into a tight embrace.

"Do not be ashamed, Jim. Nyota and Doctor McCoy previously knew of our romantic affiliation and the statistical likelihood of them telling the rest of the crew is less than 5.1%. I believe that we are safe."

"You weren't the one who was caught with your pants down."

"Affirmative."

"Spock, it's humiliating."

"I do not think so."

They left the broom closet separately, even though they were going the same place. Jim went to get onto the turbo lift when he spotted Uhura and Bones already occupying it.

"Shit." He swore silently, under his breath. but he got on anyway.

"Good Afternoon, guys." Jim nodded curtly.

Uhura and Bones looked at each other, trying hard not to laugh.

"So," Uhura started, turning to Bones. "My friend just started dating this guy, totally mouthwatering. "

"Oh yeah?" Bones played in. "What's his name?"

"Seymour Weiner." Uhura tried so hard not to giggle.

Kirk turned.

"Ha ha , guys. You're so funny." Jim said sarcastically.

"Now, now, Jim. Don't get cocky. " Bones chuckled. "We didn't mean to rub you the wrong way!" Bones patted Jim on the shoulder as the lift doors opened. Kirk couldn't hide the blush spreading to his face as he bolted out of the turbo lift. He made it to his quarters the same time Spock made it to his. They nodded to each other and went in at the same time.

Jim immediately went through the door, passed everything and went straight into their shared bathroom, knocking on his side of Spock's adjoining door.

Spock opened, and Kirk rushed at him, taking him into an embrace.

"Today sucks." Jim huffed into Spock's clothed chest.

"I will acknowledge the consistency, yes. However, I believe that I can improve it for you."

Kirk looked up.

"How?"

"Go and shower. I will make you dinner and then, a well-earned massage."

"I don't deserve you."

If Spock could roll his eyes, he would.

"Jim, could you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Please stop with the unfavorable comments about yourself." Spock moved his hand down Kirk's lower back, rubbing small circles. "You are beautiful, kind, unique, and you could be with anyone on this ship. However, you chose me. and I am thankful of that." Spock leaned down and kissed the tip of Jim's nose.

"Spock," Kirk looked up at Spock, eyes threatening to cry, "yes."

"Yes what?"

"I'll marry you. Bond with you, have your babies, whatever. I just-" Jim leaned up and pecked Spock gently on the lips. "Just yes."

"Are you certain?"

"Unconditionally." Jim gave the widest smile possible. Spock leaned down and smiled, kissing his new bond mate as deeply as possible.

The kiss quickly became impassioned, deepening with the pressure of such exciting news. Kirk opened his mouth and let Spock's tongue in, moaning at the taste and the feeling of his warm Vulcan surrounding him.

Jim pulled away.

"Think we can finish what we started earlier?"

"Assuredly. However, it may be different than normal. I am coming into my symptoms and I may seem frantic. There is a ritual I must perform in order for us to become bonded-"

"Wait, we're doing this now?"

"I'm afraid we must." Spock lowered his gaze to Jim's lips, noticing small differences in himself such as a carnal desire for his Captain.

"Okay." Jim quickly accepted. Spock turned him around and grasped his shoulders, pushing him towards the bed. "Will there be a ceremony?"

"If you would like. Doctor McCoy can perform unions. However, Starfleet regulation mandates that we must tell the Federation Council and the Vulcan High Council before we wed." When Jim reached the bed, he turned back towards Spock. "But we will be bonded, T'hy'la."

"T'hy'la? What does that mean?"

Spock ran his hand down Kirk's face.

"Friend. Lover. Soul-mate."

Kirk glanced up with those beautiful blue eyes and smirked, the blush spreading across his face. Spock lightly pushed Kirk back on the bed, rushing to slam his lips into his lover's. Kirk's hands roamed all over Spock's rigid body, feeling his pecs tighten when his arms moved, feeling his shoulders tense, his lower back. Spock leaned down over Kirk and nuzzled his nose into the gap between his neck and shoulder, giving Kirk goose bumps.

"What are some other Vulcan words to describe me?"

"Ashayam." Spock whispered, nipping at Jim's ear.

"Beautiful. What's it mean?"

"Beloved."

Jim could say nothing, but just gasped as Spock mouthed his collarbone, fingers playing at the hem of his shirt.

"W-wait, wait, wait." Jim offered Spock an open palm. "What needs to happen here? I don't know what a Vulcan Bonding Ritual entails. Is there like, a chicken sacrifice and some bloodletting?"

Spock was taken aback. "Certainly not."

Jim lowered his arm.

"It is quite simple. During intercourse, I will place my fingers over your psi points and bond with you. I am going to take you, Ashayam. I apologize beforehand if it is too rough. It seems as if I am unable to control myself."

Jim tilted his head back, letting Spock take control. Spock pulled the shirt off over his head before pulling off his own and Kirk could see the sweat running down his face. Spock's breathing picked up at the anticipation. Kirk swore he could hear him growl as he spoke.

"Mine."

Kirk unbuttoned his pants and folded down the fly, pulling them off hastily. Spock moved, pulling off his own. God, what a sight. Spock pulled at Kirk's boxer briefs, his cock flopping back to lay flat on his stomach. Spock pulled his own off, the green member standing at attention. Spock stroked himself twice, being a Vulcan had its perks. Vulcans had lubrication membranes on the lower part of their shafts. No muss, no fuss.

Spock towered over Kirk, kissing and nipping his way up to his neck before latching on with his teeth. Kirk cried out, more of surprise than of pain. and Spock pushed in. Spock knew he should have prepared him. Knew he should have been gentle, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There was always next time. He could feel his human half slipping, wanting nothing more than to fuck into this pliant body and make him scream his name. He settled for pushing deeper, inch by inch by inch.

Kirk was so focused on relaxing and breathing, fuck, did that hurt.

"It'll feel better soon." Jim told himself in his mind.

Spock slipped deeper and deeper into the abyss that was Pon Farr, his caramel hazel eyes losing their color to the black of his pupils and his hips making wider, sharper thrusts. He wrapped his arms under Kirk, clenching his fingers into a fist in Kirk's skin, trying to hold on. Trying to fight the urge to give in to his animalistic side.

"Spock-" Kirk gasped on a particularly hard thrust. "Just stop. Give in. Get it over and do-done w-with. You won't hurt me."

Spock pulled himself back, looking into the crystal pool blue of Kirk's eyes incredulously.

"Okay, m-maybe you will. It'll be okay-" Jim nodded "If you do, I mean. I-I can take it."

Spock nodded sharply and let go. He unclenched his hands and pushed the rest of the way in immediately, making Jim cry out. Spock pulled right back in and started thrusting furiously. Spock pulled almost all the way out and rubbed the shaft of his cock, producing more lube and making it easier for him to fuck his lover faster. Spock slammed back in hitting his prostate, and Kirk's eyes rolled to the back of his head. Kirk reached down, taking his own cock into his hand and jacked it slowly. As Spock fucked in, he slowly raised his fingers up to Kirk's face at his Psi Points.

"Ready, T'hy'la?" Spock barked.

"As I'll e-ever be." Kirk panted as Spock laid his warm fingers on his face, feeling his prostate being probed at high velocity. He let out a moan, before his vision went black.

Blue. Navy Blue waving with the breeze and he could see himself on the bridge with Spock.
He suddenly saw Spock in front of him. A distant memory.
"Hey you're the genius, you figure it out." Kirk spoke, knowing that this was the beginning to their relationship and Spock was seeing this, too.

Then, "What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak? Or the need, to stop at nothing, to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?"

"You never loved her!"

Kirk inhaled and he could hear Spock growling, and a warmth in his body ignited, watching the flashbacks of their relationship.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
"Spock, we're talking about your life!" He saw the volcano bubbling up, what he thought were the Vulcan's last thoughts, all of James Kirk. His smile, his eyes, his lips. As Spock accepted death, the last thing he wanted to think about was Kirk.

Kirk snapped out of it, suddenly, moaning when Spock jabbed his prostate again. He felt angry. He felt upset and he wanted revenge. He also felt aroused. These were the emotional transferences from the mind meld.

"The bond is complete." Spock grunted, thrusting in and holding Kirk's face, still. A tear slipped down Kirk's face and for once in his life, he felt whole. He felt safe and complete. and he could feel everything. His toes tingled and his cock throbbed, his fingertips felt like pins and needles and he also felt like he was on fire. This must be how Spock was feeling at the moment. No wonder he couldn't control himself.
Kirk moaned, reaching out and extending his arms at Spock's neck, pulling him in sharply and fast, unable to control the urge to growl as Spock fucked deeper and faster, trying not to come just yet.

"Close.." Kirk whispered, jacking his cock.

"Me too." Spock spoke harshly. Speeding up, Kirk couldn't hold on any longer. He bellowed, white spurts across his belly and across his knuckles, Spock pushing inside the tensing muscle, on the verge of coming himself.

Spock opened his eyes as wide as they would go and just let go. He pounded into Jim, fucking hard into the pliant body under him and finally.. Finally came. Huffing breath from the work out, Spock collapsed.

"So, we're like-" Jim took time to breathe. "Married now?"

"Affirmative."

"I fucking love you, Spock." Jim huffed, kissing the top of the Vulcan's head.

"I love you too, T'hy'la."

They fell into a passionate kiss and Jim teased Spock for making a big thing out of nothing.

"My Pon Farr is not yet complete. I must copulate multiple times a day for the next 5 days."
This was gonna be a long and wonderful week.