Title: In Times of Need
By PNS*
Summaty: Just a little X/W rendevous to help get rid of my writer's block.
Willow entered Xander's apartment, which now reeked of beer, stale pizza, and festering male. Xander was lolling on the couch, a stubble grown on his face. He held a remote in one hand, and was staring at an infomercial on the TV.
"Hey Will." He acknowledged her, listlessly.
"How can you live like this?" Willow asked scoldingly, picking up trash as she made her way across the room.
"Does it matter?" His brown eyes looked up at her.
"Yes it matters. To me it matters." Willow sat down next to Xander on the couch. He shifted, so his head was on her shoulder. she didn't have the heart to tell him how bad he smelled.
"Why can't she forgive me? She knows I'm sorry. It's just, no one understands how terrifying it is, to be up there. I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew I couldn't go through with it. It was scarier than anything we've ever faced." Willow smiled at that comment. "I suppose you'll never have to worry about that. you'll never have to propose to Tara. Never have to marry her...I'm sorry Will."
"It's ok. It seemed like we would always be together didn't it?"
"Yeah. Just like me and Anya." Xander took willow's hand. "Have we always been screwed up in relationships?"
"Pretty much. I mean, vampires, demons, werewolves, Cordelia." Xander's lips parted into a smile.
"Life on a hellmouth." He murmured. "But at least I have you. I mean through everything, and Buffy going crazy,I still have you." Xander moved closer, and Willow squrimed.
"Xander." She protested lightly. "You don't want to do this."
"Willow, you're all I have." Willow felt trapped, as he moved closer. It was strangely comforting, she knew him so well. She could just slip into the past, and exist in it for a few moments, but she knew she would have to return.
"Don't leave me Will." How could she push him away? Willow felt Xander's lips press against hers, warm and tinged with the flavor of beer. His tongue moved expertly around her mouth. She shivered.
"No, Xander."
"Do you remember the first time we met? At the park when we were four? You were building things in the sandbox and I kicked down your castle."
"And then you helped me rebuild it."
"It was love at first sight."
"No Xander. Friendship. Which we need to keep in tact right now."
"Do we? Do we have anything to lose by this?" Willow moved her face away, smiling sadly. She tucked a piece of Xander's unruly, greasy hair behind his ear.
"Poor Xander. you're so lost. This won't help you."
"Yes, yes it Will. I love you Willow."
"And I love you too, Xander." Willow stood up. "I'm going to go now."
"Don't."
"I have to." Willow patted him on the head and moved out of his reach. Xander tucked his arms together, and folded up on the couch, maybe worse for the wear. willow left the apartment and stood in the hallway. she sunk down onto the worn carpet, with a choked sob. Where had it all gone so wrong?
It wasn't that she felt anything for Xander, she was fairly sure of it, but it was so easy to sink back into that habit, and it was no good for him. She couldn't let him do that to himself. The door of the apartment opened and she stood up quickly. They looked at each other and all the reasons for not doing anything flew out of Willow's head.
Xander took her hand and pulled her back inside. Willow let him kiss her, giving into his frustration and sorrow, and some of her own. She couldn't figure out why she let him swallow her in fervent kisses until he stopped. He opened his eyes.
"What am I doing?" She opened her eyes and looked into his. Xander wiped his lips. "I'm sorry Will." He winced.
"It's ok." willow wiped her lips. "But you're done now? Got it all out?"
"Yeah." Xander hung his head, ashamed.
"That's what best friends are for you know." He managed to give her a little smile. "Will you promise to try and talk to Anya?"
"Sure."
"That's my Xander." Willow nodded, satisfied. In a backwards, and definitely surprising way she had accomplished what she had come to do. She left the apartment, happier, and just a little wanting, of her best friend.