p class="MsoNormal"1./p
p class="MsoNormal"Dear Future Me,/p
p class="MsoNormal"I presume you'll remember why you did this. Dr Donovan said it "might help me look forward to my future" But to be honest if reading this is all I have to look forward to there's not really much point in living, is there?/p
p class="MsoNormal"She said that some patients do this to release emotions and see it as some kind of release but I don't get it. I just feel like an idiot, I bet I'll feel like an idiot it 10 years or whatever when I read this. If I live that long. I hope I don't./p
p class="MsoNormal"I know I'm supposed to be all optimistic in this but what is the point? I hate my life, I hate waking up every morning and seeing the pity in everyone's eyes. Maman looks at me like she's trying not to cry. Père doesn't know what to do, I see him reach for me, to put a hand on my shoulder or hug me when I'm sad, but he always stops himself. Why does he always stop himself? Why won't he hug me like he did before?/p
p class="MsoNormal"Olivier and Ruby both look at me like I'm broken. I want to talk to them like I used to but they treat me like glass./p
p class="MsoNormal"Maman won't let me go to school yet, but we went into the city yesterday. I could see everyone staring, I could hear them whispering. "Hey look, it's the Smythe kid that was raped". Their eyes follow me everywhere and I'm sick of it. I want it to end./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanBut I made a promise; to Dr Donovan, to Maman. I told them I would try. I told them I would fight. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to feel so empty. That's the only fucking reason I'm sat here in the dark writing this stupid letter. I hope that you don't feel like this in the future. I hope you're happy, and safe./p
p class="MsoNormal"I'll try for you, I'll try to get better, I hope it works./p
p class="MsoNormal"~ Sebastian/p
p class="MsoNormal"Dear Future Me,/p
p class="MsoNormal"I presume you'll remember why you did this. Dr Donovan said it "might help me look forward to my future" But to be honest if reading this is all I have to look forward to there's not really much point in living, is there?/p
p class="MsoNormal"She said that some patients do this to release emotions and see it as some kind of release but I don't get it. I just feel like an idiot, I bet I'll feel like an idiot it 10 years or whatever when I read this. If I live that long. I hope I don't./p
p class="MsoNormal"I know I'm supposed to be all optimistic in this but what is the point? I hate my life, I hate waking up every morning and seeing the pity in everyone's eyes. Maman looks at me like she's trying not to cry. Père doesn't know what to do, I see him reach for me, to put a hand on my shoulder or hug me when I'm sad, but he always stops himself. Why does he always stop himself? Why won't he hug me like he did before?/p
p class="MsoNormal"Olivier and Ruby both look at me like I'm broken. I want to talk to them like I used to but they treat me like glass./p
p class="MsoNormal"Maman won't let me go to school yet, but we went into the city yesterday. I could see everyone staring, I could hear them whispering. "Hey look, it's the Smythe kid that was raped". Their eyes follow me everywhere and I'm sick of it. I want it to end./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanBut I made a promise; to Dr Donovan, to Maman. I told them I would try. I told them I would fight. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to feel so empty. That's the only fucking reason I'm sat here in the dark writing this stupid letter. I hope that you don't feel like this in the future. I hope you're happy, and safe./p
p class="MsoNormal"I'll try for you, I'll try to get better, I hope it works./p
p class="MsoNormal"~ Sebastian/p