Happy Holidays, tweakerwolf! This is for you!

Malia's pov

Derek, Lydia and I had gathered at his loft to train with our powers banded together; taking advantage of this time while the rest of the pack had after school activities or work, in Scott's case. We had been at it for hours, harnessing Lydia's scream and senses to warn us of any danger lurking nearby while the three of us then attacked on three sides; having the enemy backed against a wall or door from the other. Having no way to run.

It was all working well, until I heard some grunting and panting, and asked my cousin

"Derek? You ok?"

That also caused Lydia to gaze at him, concern adorning her features from every angle. At least she wasn't screeching, a sure sign of near death. She spoke to the former alpha as well

"You look exhausted. Rest a bit."

It did not take long for him to comply, leaving me and the strawberry blond girl to idle but enjoyable and refreshing chit chat.

Derek's pov

Ashes. Ashes all around me. I also identified smoke, and the heat of fiery flames dancing about me. I was in my childhood home; with all my family inside; dying slowly one by one; engulfed by the blazes. I was not powerful, fast or strong enough to save them. I could not even move, just scream "NO!"

I bolted upwards, panting heavily, drenched in sweat and tears. I hated when I had nightmares or flashbacks of the fire; even distorted dreams, that altered the reality of the events of that night.

Malia's pov

Derek's scream brought Lydia and I out of our conversation, and we slowly and worriedly made our way to him. The only reason we weren't running to his side was that we were afraid rapid movement would scare him further as he attempted to recover from this nightmare. Finally, we were seated next to him, flanking and propping him up on either side; my heartbeat calming him down, if just a bit.

"Fire..."

Was all the broken wolf could manage to choke out, a few tears still sliding down his cheeks; which Lydia and I quickly dried away. She and I asked, in one accord "What can we do to help you?"

He was still working on evening out his breathing, and panted

"Water... please"

Lydia granted his request as I held my elder cousin, having more and more success in calming him down. Nothing against the redhead, she was doing great; but my cousin and I had a special connection. I could get to places in his mind no other person could; I could calm him down. And Lydia knew how to get information without asking, due to her smarts. She too knew he needed to talk but was unwilling. She smiled sympathetically

"I know you need to talk and you should. Would it be easier if it were just the two of you?"

He smiled softly

"Thank you, but you can stay. You've been such a great friend and help to me too, Lydia. Thank you."

She smiled "Anytime. Just speak when you're ready and don't hold back."

After a while, he had gathered up the courage to start opening up, and told the story of the fire; which I knew; of course. But then he started telling a part that he had kept very well hidden, for no one knew, not even me.

"It's all my fault. I lost so many siblings because I was too afraid to move, to do something; ANYTHING! I lost so much; I thought I should be pitied; but no. I'm the blame for my loss and misery."

We both stood there, speechless if just for a moment, hugging the sobbing werewolf. I had no idea he blamed himself, that he had carried this around, alone for so long! He had the pack, he had ME! WHY did he not come to me? That would have to be the subject of conversation for another time, right now he needed us. We knew words would carry less weight than hugs, (yes, believe it if you want, but the big bad Sourwolf secretly loves being cuddled); but even as we hugged him, I had to set him straight

"Derek, it was not your fault. You were a kid. Your mom just wanted you safe. Please don't carry this around anymore. At least not alone. You are not to blame. I love you."

He reacted to my statement by nodding, his face nuzzled in my shoulder; leaning on both me and Lydia; feeling, smelling and looking a lot better, more at peace. Not long later, he fell into a peaceful slumber, and we soon followed.