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Bella

Up until two years ago, I had my whole life mapped out. I was going to take a year off after high school and marry my childhood sweetheart, Edward Cullen.

Somehow it would all work out.

Oh, and live happily ever after.

Our relationship was different from most of the teenage relationships at school. This wasn't some fly by night thing. We truly loved each other. Besides being girlfriend and boyfriend, we were best friends.

We were two halves of a whole.

My entire life was built around Edward. We had known each other our entire lives. We officially became a couple when I was thirteen. At fifteen I lost my virginity to him and the idea that he was going to be the only man I would ever share my body with had never bothered me.

I was so engrossed in my life with Edward that I didn't see what was going on around me between my mom and dad.

Several months before my sixteenth birthday my parents divorced and my mom moved us to Arizona where she wanted to start over.

Edward and I broke up because we knew it wasn't possible to have a relationship sixteen hundred miles apart. The night we broke up was so hard, telling him goodbye knowing how much I loved him. With the internet and free long distance, I'm sure we could have worked something out but it just seemed easier to split impeccably.

That was the last time I spoke to him.

I tried to call him on three occasions in the last two years: once on my sixteenth birthday when I couldn't hide the fact that I was pregnant any longer. Again when I hit the half waypoint of my pregnancy and the last time being the day I gave birth to our son, Ethan Anthony Cullen.

All three calls went directly to Edward's voicemail where I asked him to please call me.

But he never did.

When my dad Charlie Swan, the Police Chief in Forks Washington, found out I was pregnant I had to beg him not to cause a scene and go to Edward and his parents. He obliged but from what I've been told he made Edward's life a living hell in and around Forks.

So, two years later here I am back in Forks.

I had been back in Forks for two weeks now as a result of my mom Renee's fatal car accident three weeks ago. Having nowhere else to go, Ethan and I moved back to Forks to live with Charlie so that I could finish my senior year of high school.

Charlie had been patient letting me grieve for Renee while I delayed starting my senior year at Forks High School. I had finally agreed to start school next week. Emotionally I needed to get out of the house since everywhere I looked there were reminders of Renee. Charlie hadn't changed a thing since we left two years ago.

Needing someone to watch Ethan while I was in school, Charlie's female friend Sue Clearwater was going to keep him at our house.

Now that everything was settled, I was dreading it.

Besides grieving for Renee I wasn't ready to face Edward. I wasn't for sure how to tell him that he had a son.

With Edward on my mind, I found myself driving through the school parking lot at the end of the school day. Unconsciously I was hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

And boy did I catch a glimpse. Walking hand in hand with him was none other then Tanya Denali. Out of all of the girls we grew up with, I never pictured him with her.

Standing next to what I assumed was his car, I witnessed him kiss her goodbye before she sauntered off in her cheerleading outfit for cheerleading practice and him grabbing something out of the car. I continued to watch as he walked in the opposite direction towards the football field.

Seeing him with her broke my heart.

I decided then and there that he wouldn't find out about Ethan. I know it's cruel keeping them apart but I don't know what else to do.

Luckily Ethan had fallen asleep in his car seat so he didn't witness my breakdown in the school parking lot.

After drying my eyes and face, I made my way to Thriftway. I needed to pick up a few things for our dinner.

Picking up what was needed, I made my way to the cash registers. Ethan was sitting in the shopping cart laughing at a book we had picked up along the way. I was completely in grossed in him that I didn't realize someone was talking to me.

Someone tapped my shoulder as they asked, "Bella, is that you?"

I knew that voice.

Turning around I was face to face with Edward's mother Esme Cullen.

"Mrs. Cullen."

Smiling she said, "Bella, has it been so long that we are on formal terms."

In all of the years that I had known her, I never called her Mrs. Cullen. It was either Esme or occasionally I would slip and call her mom.

Standing in front of Ethan, shielding him from her I replied, "No. It's good to see you, Esme."

Two things happened at that moment. Esme asked who the boy was and the boy peeked his head around my shoulder and said, "Hi."

Hearing Esme gasp I knew without a doubt that she realized she was seeing her grandson for the first time. Ethan was almost an exact replica of Edward. He had Edward's sparkling green eyes, cheekbones and even with Ethan's baby face you could make out the cut of his jaw. Not to mention Edward's hair coloring; an odd reddish-brown hue that appeared almost copper.

The cashier was eyeing us skeptically as Esme asked, "Please tell me he doesn't know."

Smiling at the cashier I turned back to Esme, "Can we discuss this outside?"

Finishing up my purchase I went to stand by the exit. I was only there two or three minutes before Esme walked out.

Sounding heartbroken Esme asked, "Bella, how could you keep him from us?"

"I called Edward but he never returned my calls."

Shaking her head she said, "You should have called Carlisle or me when he didn't call you."

With tears in her eyes, Esme looked at Ethan with such longing. Cupping his cheek she asked him, "What's your name?"

Smiling Edward's trademark crooked grin he replied, "E-fin."

Looking at me for conformation on his name she replied, "Ethan?"

Nodding my head yes I provided, "Ethan Anthony Cullen."

"How old is he?" She asked as she brushed his unruly mop of hair from his face so she could get a good look at him.

"Eighteen months. He was born March 20, 2008."

Not taking her eyes from Ethan she asked me, "How long are you visiting your dad?"

Choking back a sob I replied, "Mmm, we're here permanently." I wasn't sure how to broach the subject of Renee.

"You left your mom in Arizona to come back here?"

That strangled sob I had been trying to contain came out. "Renee passed away three weeks ago."

Esme pulled me into a hug as I broke down for the first time in the presence of someone. I had been keeping up a facade for Ethan and Charlie. Charlie was just as broke as I was.

I couldn't believe how comforting it was to cry on her shoulder.

Forcing me to look at her Esme said, "Bella, you're not alone. We'll get through this."

Continuing she added, "Sweetie, Edward needs to know. He needs to know that he has a son."

"I know he needs to know but I don't want to disrupt his life."

"Finding out he is father isn't is disruption. It's a blessing."

Adding she said, "Why don't you and Ethan come home with me? You can be there when Edward comes home from football practice."

The mention of football reminded me of a certain cheerleader.

"Tonight isn't good. I've got groceries to put away and Charlie is expecting dinner when he gets home from work."

Taking a deep breath she replied, "Okay, but I'm not giving up. Don't be surprised if Carlisle and I stop by the house tonight. I have to tell him about Ethan and once he finds out he will want to meet him."

"Thank you."

I was given a small reprieve for the time being. How long I had I didn't know.

Was I ready to face Edward?

No.

Would I have to?

Yes.

When?

I didn't know.

All I knew was that once Edward made his appearance, whether it was on my terms or his, I had to be ready.

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