John wasn't going to wait for Sherlock anymore, he knew what he had to do. He had grown close to the consulting detective, he needed him and each day without him was torture to the heart. Some could even say the doctor had feelings towards the detective. Papers that were usually scattered about when Holmes' was around was now tidy, the atmosphere was silent now that Sherlock was not around, people were distant and he honestly was not sure what he had left to live for. John grabbed his P226R from drawer in his room, his room cleaned and neat as well. The laptop no longer sitting on on his desk but on his pillow. Grasping his phone, he sent Sherlock's phone a text. "You didn't come back. So I'm coming to you." -JW it said before he sent it. Placing his cellphone down on the table,he pressed the gun to the side of his temple. "Loud sound, brief pain and darkness. Loud sound, brief pain and darkness. Loud sound, brief pain and darkness..." He repeated to himself as silent tears trickled down both of his cheeks. John's finger was on the trigger, it was so quiet. The only sound coming from him was his steady breath. Any minute now he would be back with the man who he genuinely loved.
The sex noise from Sherlock's phone filled the air, as he clicked on the recently received message, his eyes widened and his heart stopped at the sentence. His fingers moved quickly, "No, John, stop. Do not do it.-SH" he sent it, ignoring the warning text that came through from Mycroft just moments before the message from John. He spent little time in hailing a taxi, telling them to get him to Baker Street as soon as possible. It was a long drive as he had had to stay out of the area to avoid the suspicion of still being alive.
Just as his finger creased to press the trigger, his phone beeped. His light Blue eyes flickered open to look at the newest text. John picked it up, reading the text. Was he going mad? Sherlock was dead...Who exactly was sending him this? "It's been...Two years Sherlock, and I want to see you.-JW" he sent back. As his tear stained cheeks flustered, he pressed the gun back to his temple.
"Then stay where you are and do not move.-SH" Sherlock replied quickly, becoming impatient with the driver's speeds. "Hurry up, I need to be somewhere!" He hissed. "I am going as fast as I-" "Not fast enough." Sherlock cut him off. "If you do not speed up, you will wish that you had never met me."
"Sherlock..I've been waiting and I'm tired.-JW" he answered back. Sherlock was finally coming, when he was going to die. For once his finger began to shake, wanting to see a final glimpse of the consulting detective before he did it, before he pulled the trigger...To end it all soon.
Sherlock slammed the car when they reached 221 Baker street, not even bothering to pay the driver and ignoring his threats as he ran towards the door. "Sherlock?" Mrs. Hudson gasped as he entered, taking to the stairs. "Explain later, Mrs. Hudson, important matter to attend!" He called back, slamming the door to the flat open and frantically looking around the room for John. His eyes landed on him, right in front of that damned smiley face. "John, don't." He commanded, dropping his phone on the floor and moving towards him slowly, hand outstretched. "Give me the gun..."
John stood right where he was, he didn't move the gun still to his temple. His finger still shaking slightly as remained on the trigger, "No-!" he said in a serious yet sad filled tone. "If I do, you'll just disappear again and I'll be alone again.."
"John, it's really me." He said slowly, moving to take a slow step forward. "I can prove it to you. When I...Died...I went to America for a while to hide so that this all looked real. Molly kept an eye on you, yes she knew about this whole scheme." He tried to explain.
"You've written nothing save for one post on your blog since I've been gone though your therapist has urged you to write more."
John searched his face for moment, "Why Sherlock?" he questioned, slowly removing the gun from his temple. "You left for so long and still don't trust me..."
Sherlock took the moment to gently take the gun from John's hand, sliding it across the floor and away from them before he gently took John's wrists. "If you give me the chance to, I will explain." He said and he really did not want to but Mycroft had said that the problem was under control by now, the assassin's captured. "Come, let's sit. Mrs. Hudson deserves answers too." Mrs. Hudson had followed upstairs during the drama and was standing in the doorway, concern writ all over her face.
John nodded but he didn't bother looking at , if Sherlock was another moment late he and would be staring at his lifeless body right about now.
Sherlock steered him to the couch, sitting him down and clearing his throat. "Mrs. Hudson." He said, motioning and the elder woman moved to sit silently by John.
John looked at him, his hands in his lap. His face restoring color as his face was cool from his tears earlier.
"Jim Moriarty was on the roof with me that day." Sherlock began, his eyes deep in thought as he relived it in his mind. "I had asked him to meet me there, sure that I could end this and take him in as the criminal he was." He glances over to John, noting his hurt. "Moriarty wanted me to jump, to end my life as a fake genius but I was sure that I had him pegged. He informed me that he had snipers on you, John and you, Mrs. Hudson and one on Lestrade as well." A small smile crossed over Sherlock's face, sarcastic in nature remembering his foe who had been so smart. "Of course, I was sure that I could convince him to use the fail-safe to stop him from killing all of you but before I could that out of him, Moriarty killed himself."
John listened carefully and said nothing in return. Knowing the reasons why he faked his death, and his departure. He was greatful but that didn't change how he felt nor that cease the hurt. He tried so hard to cope but he failed miserably at it.
"I had had Molly in on the plan days before this meeting had happened, just in case I could not stop him. She arranged the death certificate and the laundry truck...And the plan was set, I only hoped not to use it. With Moriarty dead and the assassins still on, I had no choice and so I committed suicide to save you three."
Mrs. Hudson was silent as well, wrapping her mind around it all, she then hugged Sherlock before nodding over to John and he thanked her before getting up and moving to him. "John..." He said, resting his hand on his shoulder.
John shrugged of his hand, "Its not easy if I haven't text you.."he started to say. "You would be hearing about me from Lestrade"
"Lestrade doesn't know, I'd be hearing about you by Molly." Sherlock corrected, moving to wrap his arms around John
His gaze went out the window, "I loved you so much...And that was killing me from you not here."
"I am sorry..." Sherlock said softly, resting his head on the Army doctor's shoulder.
John finally leaned into him, holding onto his hands. "I can't forgive you just like that..." he whispered.
He squeezed Sherlock's hands lightly, his Blue eyes closing slowly. John knew that wasn't going go unseen. "Alright.."
Sherlock made a note to make sure that the flat was inspected, every item that could pose as dangerous taken away and stored until he knew for sure that John was alright. "Also, I will not be moving back in until you feel you want me to, I understand that your emotions might be too fragile for you to handle me as a flatmate again this soon."
"Even I try to reassure you, that it won't happen again..You'd probably just do it anyway" he said softly, even subconsciously, his hand went to his side. "I only ask you let me safe the flat first... I don't want to have to go through this again, John." He said softly.
He smiled lightly, nodding. "Yes." Sherlock confirms before moving to begin his safing.
John didn't move, he rubbing at his side before rubbing at his side gently. He knew he wouldn't see his gun for awhile or any other sharp objects.
~A few hours later~
Sherlock made sure to remove the knives, sharp things, guns, pills that could prove deadly and anything what would be considered something the other could use to harm himself with. In a matter of hours he had safe-proofed the entire flat...So hopefully John wouldn't do anything stupid to himself.
He spoke nothing about the extra markings on his sides that he had done himself, finally moving to sit on the couch. He didn't like this, being limited to what he could touch. John moving to grab the union jack plush pillow and holding it close to him.
Finding himself done with the safe-ing, Sherlock sat in his old chair. "I've rented a small flat at this address." He handed John a card. "You have my number."
John took the card and glanced at before holding it and continuing to hold the pillow. "Yes-..Thank you." he muttered.
"John... I'm here now, alright?" He said, standing once more. "You may come to me with anything...I will not leave you again."
He followed Sherlock with his gaze, "I know you are and I am just now grasping that fully" he said honestly. He'd studied him carefully, "..I believe you."
Sherlock pulled John into an embrace, closing his own eyes. "I did miss you." He said, placing a light yet rather warm and comforting kiss to John's forehead.
John sniffed lightly, his eyes becoming half-lidded at the kiss. He could feel those tears he rarely shed until pool, making his vision blurry. "I missed you everyday and every waking moment..." he whispered back.
"I'm sorry that I had to go...You must understand that I had to rid of Moriarty's assassins." He said softly.
"I know, I do understand..." he said softly. John moving to press his lips to Sherlock's as he closed his eyes. Even then the tears that formed and slipped down his cheeks.
Sherlock kissed him back softly, hands cupping John's cheeks and wiping the tears from his cheeks.
John leaned into the touch, trying to calm himself. His eyes opening to look up at him, "I am sure, will be up here a little more" he muttered. "I can visit you if you would like."
"I was going to ask her to" Sherlock said, smiling softly. "If you wish to. Will you be wanting to accompany me on cases?"
John sighed softly, "Fair enough" he said smiling softly in return. He straighten at that and nodded, "Oh god, yes."
"Then you shall." Sherlock promised, fingers stroking gently over his cheeks.
"I look for it to them." he said softly, a sigh of content leaving John's lips.
Sherlock pressed his lips against the other male's lips, giving him a slow and passion filled kiss. Underneath all the bluntness, he truly did love John Hamish Watson, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the ex army doctor, he wanted to have a child with him...And basically live happily ever after.