Annalise was having morning episodes of vomiting and fatigue, she thought it was just a virus, until she missed her period...
Get Rid Of It
Annalise couldn't believe her eyes, staring down at the positive pregnancy test she held in her hand. "No, no, no, no, no...", she cried. "This can't be happening." She peed on another stick, and got the same results...pregnant!
In normal circumstances, usually a woman would be ecstatic to find out she was pregnant, but Annalise's circumstance wasn't normal.
Annalise was in a relationship with her girlfriend Eve, who she'd been with since they met their first year of law school three years ago. Eve was loving, non-judgmental, brilliant, and very beautiful; everything Annalise admired, and felt like she didn't deserved. Lately, things have been getting more serious between them, well on Eve's part anyway. Eve was talking marriage, yet again, and more and more about their future together post graduation; little did she know that kind of talk freaked Annalise out and made her very uncomfortable.
Annalise knew she loved Eve, but marriage? With a woman? She was still struggling with her sexuality, and was still trying to come to terms with her inner feelings. However, she knew she wasn't gay, she just happened to be in love with a woman at this time. These mixed emotions and feelings led her to see a therapist, since she could'nt exactly tell Eve how she felt. To make things less awkward, Annalise told Eve she was going to start therapy to deal with her childhood issues of sexual abuse. That wasn't exactly false, because she felt like her abuse effected the way she received love and gave love, in other words, it ruined her.
Annalise started therapy with Sam Keating six months ago. Sam was handsome, charming, and very attentive; he gave her attention that she wasn't used to getting from a man. Sam was also married, the wedding band he wore on his left hand gave it away, as well as the many phone call interruptions he received from his wife during their sessions. Annalise felt flattered that even though Sam was married, he still chose to flirt with her. He would always make her blush by telling her how beautiful she was; she had to admit it did boost her confidence some.
Sam was also a good listener. She told him about her relationship with Eve, and all of the doubts and anxiety she had from getting too serious. She also told Sam about her fears of settling down with a woman. He knew he had the upper hand, so he would tell Annalise what she wanted to hear, or what he felt would benefit him. Unbeknownst to Annalise, Sam was a manipulator, a serial cheater, and a predator who would prey on his weak, vulnerable clients, like herself. Unfortunately, Annalise mistook his kindness and concern, as love and affection.
Annalise had therapy sessions with Sam three times a weak, so they spent alot of time together. She would go to class, then to her paid internship, then straight to therapy, some days not even checking in with Eve. Annalise loved going to therapy, because she developed a crush on her married therapist. Some days she intentionally wore low cut tops that showed her cleavage, or skirts with high splits that showed her thighs. Sam noticed this routine, so he felt it gave him a signal to make his move. He would subtly rub her shoulders or place his hand on her lower back while talking to her, or give her compliments like "nice legs". Annalise was too naive to see how inappropriate that was coming from her therapist.
Three months into therapy, the compliments and touches soon turned to late night bar visits for drinks, then eventually groping. One day, Annalise came to therapy upset and told Sam about how her and Eve had a fight that morning. Sam used that moment to take advantage of her, so he kissed her. Annalise lit up, her sadness then turned to lust. The man she was crushing on for weeks months actually kissed her; Annalise didn't feel guilty at all. Some nights Eve would call her phone, but Annalise would just hit ignore and later use the excuse that she was in session; Sam did the same with his wife. As the weeks went on, their sessions got more hot and heavy, in no time, the kissing turned to blowjobs, then sex, and sometimes even unprotected sex. Many nights Annalise found herself laying on the couch in Sam's office with her legs spread open with Sam on top of her, fucking her away. She knew it was wrong, but to her it felt so right.
Annalise and Eve still lived together, and still was in a relationship, but things were different now, Annalise became distant, and Eve noticed the change.
Annalise arriving home after session of sex with Sam...
Eve was sitting on the couch watching movies, waiting for her girlfriend to come home. "Hey Babe", she said as Anna walked through the door.
"Hey", Annalise walked right past her and went straight into the bathroom to shower, to wash Sam's scent and "DNA" off her. This was her routine the past couple of weeks, but tonight, Eve wasn't having it. Once Annalise was out the shower, Eve confronted her.
"Annalise, we need to talk."
"Not now Eve, I'm going to bed, I had a long day."
Eve got in front of her and blocked her path, "Not until we talk about how we barely see each other anymore. You come home, you shower then go straight to bed, and the nights you're free you hang out in the library, "studying". What's going on with you? On top of that, we haven't had sex in forever, you don't even touch me anymore. Everytime I initiate it, you push me away saying "you're tired". Eve paused, "Are you seeing another woman?"
"Eve, I'm not seeing another woman, it's just that therapy is getting more difficult and getting deeper into my past, its making me very emotional and uncomfortable, I don't like discussing it."
"Thats no reason to push me away, I'm your girlfriend. I love you and I want to be there for you and support you, but I can't do that if you're pushing yourself from me. Can I come to one of your sessions with you? It might help us."
"Absloutely not, its a private matter, you being there wouldn't help me open up."
"You told me all about your past anyway, besides I would love to meet the person who's taking up all of my woman's time. What's his name, Sam right?"
"Eve, Sam is just doing his job, he's helping me through my issues."
"Well, I can't tell."
"Babe, drop it. We both have class in the morning and should get some rest", Annalise walked around Eve, and went to get in the bed.
Eve didn't protest or stop her, she just sighed and went to get in bed beside her love.
Eve woke up the next morning to sounds of Annalise vomiting in the bathroom, she quickly got up to check on her. "Annalise are you okay?", she bent down to rub her back.
"I feel nauseous, I must be caught a virus or something", she puked again. "I can't go to class like this, will you give Dr. Bowers my excuse."
"I'll just stay home and tend to you, I won't go to class either."
"No Eve, go, I'll be fine. I probably just need to rest."
"Fine, I hope you're not going to therapy either."
"Not in this condition, I feel horrible."
Eve helped Annalise back in the bed, then jumped in the shower to get ready for class.
"I'm headed out, call me if you need me. Love You"
"Love you too."
When Eve left, Annalise texted Sam to let him know she wouldn't be coming in today.
Anna: "Hey I won't make it to therapy. I have a sudden virus."
Sam: "That's too bad, I was looking forward to seeing you."
Ann: I miss you already, I know you would make me feel better."
Sam: "I have my ways" *wink emoji* "but get some rest".
Annalise blushed at Sam's text messages, she was in too deep, she knew had no business feeling this way about him. She knew she should probably break things off with him, but the sex was so good, she didn't want to end it.
Annalise's "virus" went on for a whole week. On the days she tried going to class, she only found herself rushing out to puke. She also missed her several of her therapy sessions since she's been sick. She hasn't heard from Sam in a few days, the last time was when she initiated the text conversation to let him know she would be out sick, so she decided to call him.
Sam answered on the fourth ring, "Hey, I'm with my wife, I can't talk right now."
Before Annalise had a chance to say anything, he already hung up the phone. Annallise teared up, her feelings were hurt. She opened up to this man for months, gave her body to this man, and here he was brushing her off. Annalise knew she had no right to be upset because they both were with significant others, and she was only his patient.
A week later...
Annalise haven't been back to therapy in two weeks, and Sam still hasn't reached out to her. On a brighter note, her and Eve have been spending more time together, trying to get back to how things used to be, but that was too good to be true. As soon as they were back in a good place, Annalise got the scare of her life, she realized she missed her period, she was three weeks late.
"Oh my god", she said outloud. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, so she went to the store to pick up a pregnancy test, but the way she's been sick these past few weeks wasn't a good sign.
Annalise couldn't believe her eyes, she stared down at the positive pregnancy test she held in her hand. "No, no, no, no, no...", she cried. "This can not be happening." She peed on another stick, and got the same results...pregnant! "What am I gonna tell Eve!?", she said to herself.
Eve wasn't the only one she would have to break the news to, there is also Sam, her therapist and unborn child's father. How would this affect his marriage?
Annalise texted Sam: "I have to see you, it's urgent". #911
Surprisingly, Sam texted right back: "Okay, meet me at my office at 7 pm"
Annalise worried that whole afternoon, she didn't bother going to her internship or class. Eve had a presentation that day, so she decided to text her, letting her know she wouldn't be home when she came in.
Annalise: "Hey, I have therapy tonight, won't be home until late, see you then."
Eve: "That's fine. Dinner wll be in the microwave when you get home. Love you."
Annalise replied back with a heart emoji.
When she got to Sam's office, she was so nervous she was shaking and in tears. This was one of the hardest moments in her adult life so far.
Sam opened the door to let her in, "Annalise, its been a while, what brings you by? Everything okay?"
"Sam, I have something to tell you."
"Okaayyyy..."
"I'm...I'm pregnant."
Sam was silent, he didn't say anything for a whole minute. He finally spoke. "Congratulations on the baby."
"Sam, it's yours."
"Bullshit!", Sam shouted. He became very angry.
"Sam, you're the only man I've been with."
"Am I supposed to believe you? We used condoms."
"Not all the time, and you know it!"
"Fuck!" He paced the floor.
"I'll be glad to give you a paternity test when the baby gets here."
"Oh that won't be necessary, because you're getting rid of it!"
"Sam_"
"Abort the baby!", he yelled.
Annalise began to cry, "Sam I can't do that"
"I'm married, what am I supposed to tell my wife? Is this some type of plan or scheme to get me to leave her for you, because it wont work!"
"I just want your support. I thought you would understand."
"Why would you think such a thing? Get a damn abortion and don't call me again. You're no longer my patient, please leave my office."
"But Sam, what am I supposed to do?"
"I'm meeting my wife for dinner in an hour, please go." He opened the door for her to leave, Annalise slowly walked to the door. "I wish you the best", Sam then slammed the door in Annalise's face.
Annalise broke down when she got in the car. She was a student, what would she do with a baby? She had goals, it will only derail her plans. Would she be a single mother? (since Sam wasn't claiming it). Would Eve step up? Who is she fooling, Eve will probably leave her. So many thoughts went through her head.
When she got home, she didn't bother touching her food that was in the microwave, because she didn't have an appetite. She got in bed beside Eve, she looked down at her beautiful girlfriend sleeping so peacefully. "How could I be so stupid, she thought. Eve was the best thing that happened to her, she didn't deserve this. She laid down and quietly cried herself to sleep.
The next morning during breakfast Annalise didn't say a word, and Eve knew something wasn't right.
"Everything okay? You haven't touched your food and you haven't said a word. Whats going on?"
"Its just class, Dr. Bowers is giving me a hard time and the workload is getting too heavy." She began to shed tears.
"If its that bad Annalise just drop the class. I never known you to be stressed over a class, it's not like you. Lets say we both take the day off and have some fun, you need to relieve some stress."
"No, go to class Eve, don't you have an exam today. Don't worry about me. "
"Annalise, stop shutting me out."
"Just forget I ever said anything". Annalise got up from the table and ran to the bathroom to throw up. She felt bad that she couldn't reveal the real reason she was upset and sick over these past few weeks.
Later on that day while Annalise was laying on the couch resting and thinking, her phone buzzed, to her surprise it was a text from Sam.
Sam: "Come by office in an hour, we need to talk."
Annalise quickly got up and freshened up. She wondered what Sam wanted to talk about, since he made it very clear he didn't want to see her again and wanted her to have an abortion. She hoped he had second thoughts.
In Sam's office...
"Thanks for coming Annalise. Look, I know I said some horrible things to you, but please forgive me." He stepped close to Annalise and held her face with both hands and kissed her softly.
"So, what are you saying?", Annalise asked cautiously.
"I'm saying I want us to be together, but first you have to abort the baby, that's the only way. And once you do that for me, I'll leave my wife for you." Being the psychologist that he is, he was manipulating Annalise, a desperate, vulnerable Annalise.
"Sam..."
He grabbed her face softly, "Shhh, don't you want us to be together? A baby will only get in our way. Do this for me, for us", he whispered in her ear seductively.
Annalise was hanging on to his every word. "Okay, okay I will."
One more thing, once you do it, I want you to show me the proof. I want to see the documents, okay?"
"Yes Sam"
"Here", he handed her $300. "This should be enough to cover it."
Annalise took the money and looked down at it, "Thanks". She was cringing that he felt comfortable doing this, it was like he did this before.
"Look, I have a meeting in thirty minutes, so if you don't mind excusing yourself." Yet again, he opened the door for her to leave, And Annalise just walked out without another word.
When Annalise left Sam's office she immediately made an appointment at the clinic for tomorrow morning; the sooner, the better. She was an emotional wreck at this whole situation, but she knew deep down aborting the baby would be the best decision for her and Sam as well. Annalise wasn't proud of her the decisions and mistakes she made. Her mind kept going back to Eve, she knew this news would destroy her and what they built together. Eve wanted marriage, the baby, white house and picket fence, but Annalise couldn't see that as her life, at least not right now, she felt like she didn't deserve it.
Annalise didn't feel like lying to Eve or looking her in the face right now so she sent her a text instead.
Annalise: "Hey Babe, when you get home, I'll already be asleep. I haven't felt good all day. Don't stay out too late, and drive safely." *Heart emoji*
Eve: "Okay Babe. I'll be home soon to spoon you. Sleep tight, Love you."
Annalise smiled at the text, placed her phone on the night stand, turned off her lamp and went to sleep. Tomorrow will be a big day for her, a life changing day.
Annalise tossed and turned all night, and had nightmares about whats to come. She felt Eve's arms around her waist holding her, and heard her concerns in her ear, asking if she was okay. Annalise reassured her that she was, and then right back to tossing.
The next morning, Annalise woke up to a "just because" love note laying on the pillow for her on Eve's side of the bed, even though she was already up and out of the house, she made sure her girlfriend knew that she loved her, still with no idea of the day Annalise had planned.
Annalise took herself a long hot shower. Her mind was racing, all kinds of thoughts were going through her head. She knew she wasn't ready for a baby, but the idea of having a little one to love and cling on to her was special. After her shower, Annalise went to the kitchen, skipped the coffee and went to pour her a shot of vodka. She needed it more than ever to numb the emotions she was feeling. Her appointment was only 30 minutes away, so her anxiety level was on ten; it took all of her strength to walk out of the door.
Within an hour, Annalise was walking out of the doctor's office with her papers in hand. The procedure was done, she had the abortion, and was no longer withchild. While laying back on the table with her feet in the stirrups, Annalise had a flashback, it was a flashback of Sam on top of her on his desk releasing himself inside of her with no protection on at all; that is what got her in this mess. During the procedure, she cried tears of both physical and emotional pain.
Annalise texted Sam when she got to her car: "It's done".
Sam: "Good, meet me at my office right now."
At the office, Annalise showed Sam the procedural papers. "Are you happy now?", she asked him.
"Yes, I am, this needed to be done." He grabbed her face and kissed her. Annalise turned her head, so that the kiss could land on her cheek instead of her lips. She obviously wasn't happy.
Sam continued, "I have some news to share with you too." He hesistated, "My wife left me this morning."
"What, why?"
"She found out about our affair. She went through my phone and saw all of our text messages to each other, heard our voicemails, and I guess she got tired of smelling your perfume on my clothes when I came home at nights. She served me divorced papers."
"Sam, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen."
"Don't be. It just means that we get to be together now, in peace, without a baby or mate hanging over our heads.
"But Sam, I still have a girlfriend, Eve."
"You're still with that girl? Did you tell her about the pregnancy and abortion?
"No, I didn't tell her anything, she knows nothing, and I want to keep it that way."
"Its for the best. Now, come with me and you can live the life that you want to live, and not be scared, not be ashamed. None of that with me.
"Sam, I_"
"Just do it Annalise. He kissed her before she could say anything else. He tried to distract her, and disrupt her thoughts.
"Okay, okay." Annalise had a tough thing to do, she knew she had to break up with Eve.
Eve was in the living room studying when Annalise came home from Sam's office.
Eve saw that Annalise looked upset, "Hey, have you been crying? Your eyes are all red and swollen."
"I had another tough, intrusive therapy session today, thats all."
"Oh, I didn't even know you had therapy today, you didn't say anything."
"It was a spur of the moment thing. That was my very last session though."
"Do you think it helped you? Do you think now your issues are resolved?", Eve asked concerned.
Annalise hesistated to answer. "I think so", she took a deep sigh, and then started to cry.
"Oh Annalise, come here." Eve laid Annie's head on her shoulder and comforted her. "You will be fine", Eve then kissed her forehead.
Eve had no clue Annalise had plans to leave her, she didn't know what was to come. Remember, this whole time she thought Annie was going to therapy dealing with her childhood past, not her sexuality. The sad thing about is, Eve already had big plans for their future: graduate law school, pass the bar, move to a big city together, become high profile attorneys, get married, adopt a baby, eventually go to Paris, and live a happy life together. She had no idea that her ideal life and her ideal wife would never come to be.
Eve continued comforting Annalise, "How about I fix you a nice bath, give you a nice massage, and then you get some much needed rest and relaxation."
"That sounds nice", Anna sniffled. Hearing that cheered her up some, she loved when Eve pampered her. She might as well enjoy this night, because it could very well be her last night being with Eve.
After the bath and massage, Eve and Annalise made sweet love for half the night. Annalise didn't think one thought about the events from earlier, or Sam. The only thing on her mind was the hot pleasure she was receiving and giving to Eve.
The next morning was a Saturday morning, so the ladies had the whole weekend to catch up and spend quality time as a couple, stress free. They went shopping, dancing, and bar-hopping, something they haven't done in a long time. Sam texted Annalise "to check on her", but she ignored them all. She wasn't trying to think about the reality that would soon be facing her, because she didn't want to ruin a perfect weekend with the only perfect thing in her life. Annalise was having a good time with Eve. She thought to herself, did she really want to leave this? Here she was with someone who made her happy, made her a better person, someone who was the ying to her yang, but Annalise didn't want to ruin Eve, like her past ruined her, so she knew she had to walk away.
Monday morning came, which means back to reality, and back to schedule. As usual, Eve had an early morning class that she went to, and Annalise decided to skip all her classes that day to make her move, literally. Even though she had an amazing weekend with Eve, she had to do what she felt was best for her. Today, she was going to move in with Sam into his house to start a life with him. He was very different than Eve, but different wasn't necessarily a bad thing. She felt like he was the right person for her at this moment in her life.
These past three years with Eve was the best time of her life, she never thought she would meet anybody like Eve, or have anybody that would love her like Eve did. Annalise didn't have the courage to look Eve in the eyes and tell her face to face that she would be ending their relationship and moving out, so she decided to write a letter, a long two page letter telling her how great she is, how she indeed loved her, but just not in the way that Eve deserved. Annalise also wrote how things got real too fast, and she wasn't ready. The hardest part of the letter was when she confessed that she met someone else, which happened to be her male therapist, and that she would be starting over with him (she intentionally excluded the pregnancy and abortion from the letter). The last thing Annalise wrote was letting Eve know that this was a tough decision, and she would probably regret it one day, but has to walk away in order not to ruin her. Through tears, Annalise enclosed the letter with a kiss and left it on the coffee table, a place she knew Eve would see it.
Annalise took one last look around the apartment she called home, she grabbed her three duffle bags, then walked out. "I'll miss you Eve", she said to herself. Annalise was now on her way to Sam's house to start her new life.
Hours later when Eve came home...
"Annalise"...
She called and texted Annalise earlier to meet her for lunch, but she never got an answer or response. Now, here she was with flowers in her hands for Annalise to surprise her with, since she was having a hard time lately.
"Babe, are you home?", she called out.
Eve went walking through the apartment, and she noticed it was dark and very quiet. When she got to the living room, she saw an envelope with her name on it laying on the coffee table. Right then, she knew something wasn't right. She slowly opened the envelope, and read the "breakup letter".
Eve's heart started beating fast, she couldn't believe what she was reading. She began to cry, she started off with tears, but then she quickly got hysterical.
"Oh..My..God...how could she do this to me!?" She threw the flowers across the room and started pacing the floor. "Her therapist? She left me for her therapist!?"
It all made sense to her now: the many late night appointments, the distance that grew between them. The signs of infidelity were there, but she couldn't see it at the time. To say she was hurt or felt betrayed was an understatement. The love of her life blindsided her and just walked out of her life with no clear explanation whatsoever.
Eve felt faint, she couldn't even think straight, she felt a major headache coming on. She found her way to her bed, balled up in a fetal position, hugged a pillow, and cried herself to sleep.
Since that night, Eve hasn't hear from Annalise at all; she called, texted, and sent emails many times, but she never responded. She intentionally avoided her.
Annalise went on to marry Sam, got a job as a law professor at a Philadelphia University, and became a well known and successful criminal Defense Attorney.
Eve Rothlo moved to NYC and became a successful Death Row Attorney. As a single woman, she dated many women, but still none could compare to her first love, Annalise.
The ladies didn't come in contact with each other until many years later. Til this day, twenty plus years later, Eve still doesn't know about Annalise's initial pregnancy or abortion...