'I never thought things would turn out like this...

Living a life of lies and misguided trust...

Betraying those who had faith in me...

Betraying myself...

No more. The sorrow ends here and now, even if it kills me...'

Silence of a Shadow

Chapter one

Those who are forgotten

______________________

There are many who think they have me figured out. I'm just a nobody - a faceless youth who isn't worth a second look.

I was young when I started my way of life, ...only at the tender age of thirteen. My mother, who had cared for up until that time, started to realize that I was more like my father's child. Seeing this, she began to remember the hate she had for the person that I barley remembered. Their love was no more that a few months of lust, ending with my arrival. From what my grandfather told me, it was no more that a teenage mistake that was better off ended. It's not that he disliked my father, he just was unsatisfied by his heritage. You see, my father's mother was a Shade - not of this world, or the next. As far as I know, she was the only one of her kind. A true original.

In my last few days as a sweet, innocent twelve year old, my mother began to comprehend that she could no longer keep me, afraid of what I would soon become. I can't say I blamed her. She packed my belongings into my small schoolbag and sat me on a plane heading to my father's country. Although her intentions were good, when the truth be told, she wanted me as far away from her as humanly possible. I bet that is the reason she lived in a large city in the United States, and my father resided in the outskirts of Japan.

When I got there, I looked for any sign of a familiar face...but not one could be seen. Mother hadn't bothered to mention my arrival.

It was then when I discovered the truth. If I wanted to survive, I'd be forced to lookout for myself.

By the end of that long day, I had found an English-speaking family who would let me stay the night. Such generous people they were. In the morning however, I was kicked to the curb with last night's garbage. I was grateful that they at least fed me before letting me loose upon the crowded streets filled with people and signs that I couldn't understand.

The next few nights I took refuge in parks or schoolyards, careful to vanish before any sign of daylight. I had made up my mind. I would not look for my father, nor would I return to my mother. They were both better off without me anyway. I would wander the streets until I could find a place that welcomed me.

It took a while. A long while....but I found a crummy apartment complex who's manager didn't care that I was only twelve. He gave me the smallest room in the building, and said I would have to work to payoff the rent. This of course was no problem, because I had convinced myself that I was no longer a child. My thirteenth birthday was only a few hours away, and there was no way I was going to allow myself to act like a naive nine or ten year old any longer. I was going to be an adult, whether I liked it or not.

***

'Work' has more meanings than I realized. One might think it meant 'cleaning' or 'chores' but the landlord's intentions were very different. He would give me a list of things he needed, groceries and such, then tell me to go get them. He never intended me to 'pay' for any of it. I guess he thought shoplifting was an easy task, because the list was always long and the things he desired were always very expensive.

The 'little and cute' act worked for a while, but people began to ignore me when I was forced to beg for beer or other intoxicating products.

That's when I devised a plan:

"Operation: Don't Get Caught."

I would stand at the entrance of the store and categorize the shoppers as they left. The elderly or bankrupt were not to be touched, ... but the people with one or two kids, nice clothes, and a confident gaze in their eyes were fair game. I figured those were the people who could afford to loose a few of their groceries now and then. I'd wait patiently as my latest victim would stride past me...them I'd move in for the kill.

Today's poor sap walked out incoherently, not noticing me fallowing her. "Can we have hot cocoa when we get home, mommy?" the child stumbling behind her mother asked. The mother smiled kindly. I followed closely; there was no was I was going to let them get away.

Three steps later, I took a deep breath and trampled the middle-aged woman; her bags falling to the ground. "Oh, I'm sorry!" I said quickly, bending down to put her things back into their bags. When I got done, her bags were back in her arms and my pockets were filled with canned goods.

A job well done.

As I got older, the jobs became more difficult.

One night, I was told not to come back until I had over three thousand yen or something of equal value. I wandered aimlessly down the lifeless streets, trying to spot someone caring that kind of money with them.

The dimming streetlamp flickered as I passed beneath it. This was going to be imposable.

I gave up two or three....more like four hours later. My head was pounding, and my vision was not helping. I leaned against a brick wall of a building and closed my eyes. 'Things will be okay, Allie.' I told myself. 'They always are...'

I opened my eyes ...but saw nothing. No streets, cars, deserted shops, or blinking street lamps. What was going on? Were my eyes deceiving me?

A sharp pain filled my mind, causing me to sink to my knees. The faint sounds of life around me soon began to dull until they were no more... and the familiar taste of a natural copper liquid invaded my mouth; making me sick to my stomach. I had never felt such pain before, ...never in my entire life. It grew and grew until my body couldn't take much more....

....and I fell into a state of unconsciousness

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, nor will I ever.

A\N: Ok, I know this first chapter had nothing to do with Yu Yu Hakusho, but I promise that will change with the next chapter. Please forgive any spelling or typing errors, I guess you can say that they are my weakness. I'll fix anything that I missed during the editing stage as soon as they are brought to my attention. Please tell me what you thought, and as always, flames are more than welcomed.