The Weakest Link: Legend of Dragoon Celebrity Edition
by DiamondClaw
LEGAL STUFF:
I do not own LoD, Sony, NBC, The Weakest Link, or anything else I forgot to mention. But if it's any consolation, Rob Schneider is funny and the answer to every question is Earl. Thank you!
(The Weakest Link theme music begins. Anne Robinson walks in and takes her place at the evil podium of death.)
Anne: Hello, and welcome to...The Weakest Link! Today, we have six characters from the hit video game, Legend of Dragoon. Why six? Because DiamondClaw is too poor to foot the bill for eight. Anyways, since you're not meant to know their last names, I shall introduce them. We have Dart, Shana, Rose, Albert, Kongol, and a common photorealistic beaver! Now, are you all ready to play...The Weakest Link!
All: No.
AR: Too bad. Put 2:30 on the clock, and let's begin. Dart, what is the three-letter abbreviation for cardiopulminary rescesitation?
Dart: CPR.
AR: Correct. Shana, who did the character designs for the game Chrono Trigger?
Shana: Akira Torayama.
AR: Correct. Rose, according to Fox, who controls the universe?
Rose: Andy Richter.
AR: Damn, you people actually have a brain! Albert, Only who can prevent forest fires?
Albert: You?
AR: Wrong. The correct answer is you.
Albert: But that's what I said!
AR: Shut up. Kongol...
Kongol: Bank.
AR: You cannot bank on zero. Who wants to be a millionaire?
Kongol: Regis?
AR: Correct. Also note that I am richer than he is. Photorealistic beaver, what noise does a mouse make?
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct. Dart...
Dart: Bank. (current bank: 2,500)
AR: Name the two movies in which Anthony Hopkins starred as Hannibal Lecter.
Dart: 'Silence of The Lambs' and 'Hannibal'.
AR: Correct. Shana, what did you have for dinner last night?
Shana: ....Tacos?
AR: Correct.
Shana: Wait, how did you know?
AR: (clears throat angrily) Rose, what is two plus two?
Rose: Five?
AR: Correct. Albert, why am I such a bitch?
Albert: Run in your pantyhose?
AR: Correct. Kongol, what 'superhero' did Lou Ferrigno portray?
Kongol: What?
AR: Wrong. The correct answer is the Incredible Hulk. Photorealistic beaver, what is the nickname of the man who plays the voice of Kenny on South Park?
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct. Dart...(buzzer rings in, signaling the end of the round.) Pitiful. It's idiots like you who are going to put me out of a job someday. You only managed to bank 2,500 GP. Now, who is a few SP short of a Dragoon Level? Contestants, please make your votes...now.
(twenty seconds goes by.)
Dart: Albert.
Shana: Anne.
Rose: Anne.
Albert: Photorealistic Beaver.
Kongol: Anne.
PB: (squeaks)
Anne: With three votes, I am the weakest link! But, since I am the host, and you are all morons, Rose is out. Just for the hell of it. HA! (jumps up on the podium and starts dancing like a Cossack)
(Rose exits the auditorium.)
(backstage)
Rose: I swear, she hates me. But I'll just get Zieg to kill her for me...I have that kind of effect on men, you know....(laughs evilly)
(onstage)
Anne: Well, we have one contestant down, and five to go. Who will go next? Probably Kongol, since I don't like him.
Kongol: HEY!
Anne: We'll find out when we return to...The Weakest Link!!!
(Cut to a commercial.)
(Author's Note: What did you think? I just came up with it on a whim, so it's probably not that good. Please R&R, and round two is coming soon!)
by DiamondClaw
LEGAL STUFF:
I do not own LoD, Sony, NBC, The Weakest Link, or anything else I forgot to mention. But if it's any consolation, Rob Schneider is funny and the answer to every question is Earl. Thank you!
(The Weakest Link theme music begins. Anne Robinson walks in and takes her place at the evil podium of death.)
Anne: Hello, and welcome to...The Weakest Link! Today, we have six characters from the hit video game, Legend of Dragoon. Why six? Because DiamondClaw is too poor to foot the bill for eight. Anyways, since you're not meant to know their last names, I shall introduce them. We have Dart, Shana, Rose, Albert, Kongol, and a common photorealistic beaver! Now, are you all ready to play...The Weakest Link!
All: No.
AR: Too bad. Put 2:30 on the clock, and let's begin. Dart, what is the three-letter abbreviation for cardiopulminary rescesitation?
Dart: CPR.
AR: Correct. Shana, who did the character designs for the game Chrono Trigger?
Shana: Akira Torayama.
AR: Correct. Rose, according to Fox, who controls the universe?
Rose: Andy Richter.
AR: Damn, you people actually have a brain! Albert, Only who can prevent forest fires?
Albert: You?
AR: Wrong. The correct answer is you.
Albert: But that's what I said!
AR: Shut up. Kongol...
Kongol: Bank.
AR: You cannot bank on zero. Who wants to be a millionaire?
Kongol: Regis?
AR: Correct. Also note that I am richer than he is. Photorealistic beaver, what noise does a mouse make?
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct. Dart...
Dart: Bank. (current bank: 2,500)
AR: Name the two movies in which Anthony Hopkins starred as Hannibal Lecter.
Dart: 'Silence of The Lambs' and 'Hannibal'.
AR: Correct. Shana, what did you have for dinner last night?
Shana: ....Tacos?
AR: Correct.
Shana: Wait, how did you know?
AR: (clears throat angrily) Rose, what is two plus two?
Rose: Five?
AR: Correct. Albert, why am I such a bitch?
Albert: Run in your pantyhose?
AR: Correct. Kongol, what 'superhero' did Lou Ferrigno portray?
Kongol: What?
AR: Wrong. The correct answer is the Incredible Hulk. Photorealistic beaver, what is the nickname of the man who plays the voice of Kenny on South Park?
PB: (squeaks)
AR: Correct. Dart...(buzzer rings in, signaling the end of the round.) Pitiful. It's idiots like you who are going to put me out of a job someday. You only managed to bank 2,500 GP. Now, who is a few SP short of a Dragoon Level? Contestants, please make your votes...now.
(twenty seconds goes by.)
Dart: Albert.
Shana: Anne.
Rose: Anne.
Albert: Photorealistic Beaver.
Kongol: Anne.
PB: (squeaks)
Anne: With three votes, I am the weakest link! But, since I am the host, and you are all morons, Rose is out. Just for the hell of it. HA! (jumps up on the podium and starts dancing like a Cossack)
(Rose exits the auditorium.)
(backstage)
Rose: I swear, she hates me. But I'll just get Zieg to kill her for me...I have that kind of effect on men, you know....(laughs evilly)
(onstage)
Anne: Well, we have one contestant down, and five to go. Who will go next? Probably Kongol, since I don't like him.
Kongol: HEY!
Anne: We'll find out when we return to...The Weakest Link!!!
(Cut to a commercial.)
(Author's Note: What did you think? I just came up with it on a whim, so it's probably not that good. Please R&R, and round two is coming soon!)