Title: Forever Dreaming

Author: Exerides T Fluorite

Characters/ Pairings: Doumeki Shizuka X Watanuki Kimihiro/ Himawari Kunogi/ Yuuko Ichihara

Warnings/ Spoilers: I haven't a clue…Just beware…

Disclaimers: I do not own xxxHolic, but if it were mine it would probably suck….

Distribution: If you put this anywhere else tell me so that I won't think you are stealing it, other than that take it…

On with the story then, ladies and gentlemen!

…

Watanuki Kimihiro is in high school…What high school you ask? Cross Private High… Yes Watanuki is just an ordinary LOOKING student, but he is also a very unorthodox character as well. He is seen in many different ways, but he is seen in the same way, always, by one person.

Doumeki Shizuka.

Doumeki Shizuka also attends Cross Private High and is also seen by all sorts of people, but they see him all in the same way, the wrong way… The way no one else sees him, is the way that Watanuki Kimihiro sees him and the way he sees him is as an unruly jerk…When really it is just the opposite…

He tries his best to convince Watanuki that he is not a jerk, by helping him out of danger and hardly ever asking for anything from Watanuki in return…The truth is, he needs Watanuki just as much as Watanuki needs him…

No one understands Doumeki like Watanuki does, because no one gets to know him for who he is, just who they want him to be…Something like what Watanuki does, but Watanuki hides behind a wall of lies, he is all lies behind those flailing limbs and rude words. But Doumeki knows that Watanuki knows the real him, he gave him his blood and half of his eye…He wanted Watanuki to feel as normal as possible, so he could move on with life and not feel so alone…

This evening, like every other evening mind you, Doumeki walks Watanuki to the shop to protect him from the evil spirits that haunt him and want to eat him like a starving person at thanksgiving dinner…

On the particular evening Watanuki does not speak, he does not flail and he just walks.

Doumeki doesn't even think Watanuki is breathing correctly. But he doesn't speak, he likes the quiet Watanuki at times, even when it is unsettling…

Before Watanuki gets to the shop, he stops in his tracks and looks at Doumeki like he was never seen him before in his life.

Doumeki raises an eyebrow in question.

"You aren't dream Doumeki after all, are you? Heh, you would have been yelling at me by now…" Watanuki turns back to the shop and continues on his way…

Dream Doumeki? Doumeki can't help but ask himself.

That was Watanuki, though. Forever never making sense…But, even so, this time seemed a bit different than most times he starts talking gibberish…

"Doumeki." Watanuki has stopped again.

"Hn." Doumeki replies.

"…are you the real one?"

Doumeki frowns slightly. Well, of course he is the real one…Why wouldn't he be real, can Watanuki not tell the difference.

"Yes…Idiot." Doumeki habitually added the name to see if it riled Watanuki, if it didn't then HE, himself must be dreaming.

Watanuki turned around and frowned at Doumeki, "Can I not have a real conversation with you?"

Doumeki shook his head. Why wasn't it working, normally Watanuki would flip out by now.

"Ugh, I give up! I try to talk to you as a civilized human being but you always manage to screw it up, yes you. Don't give me that satisfied look like you have succeeded something! You should feel ashamed of yourself, making me upset like this, I was fine only minutes ago…"

Watanuki continued ranting and Doumeki just stood and watched as Watanuki's hands started to flail and his voice volume rose.

Ah, life was complete but it would stop in about ten seconds. Watanuki was looking tired and out of breath.

"And you are luck you are so gosh darn good looking or else I would have mangled your face by now!" Watanuki finished then froze. What had he just said…? Out loud?

Doumeki stared at Watanuki for a good twenty seconds before they both started breathing again…

"Disregard that! I did not say that! Got it? Because if you didn't you will forget it permanently when I kick you so hard in the head your brain will fly out!" Watanuki shrieked, red faced.

Doumeki nodded and stared at him. Watanuki would never know how cute he was when in denial…That was the only reason Doumeki put up with his outbursts as if they never happen…

Watanuki had truly and obliviously won his heart…Too bad he would never be able to tell Watanuki…That would be like suicide…Because he knew Watanuki would kill him before he could finish the first sentence.

"I hate you, so don't get any ideas, you got that?"

"No."

"Agh! I should just kill you now!"

"Yeah, you always say that."

"Shut up you."

They arrived at Yuuko's wish shop in less than twenty minutes normally, but today it seemed to take 5 times as long.

"Don't be rude, go in, say hi to Yuuko-san and get out!"

Doumeki entered and said his hello to Yuuko, who in turn offered his a drink and more and more and more, and then Watanuki had some too…Then Watanuki was talking about how Doumeki was Doumeki and that he didn't matter. Yuuko told him that didn't really answer her question.

"What was it, Yuuko-san?" Watanuki asked swaying.

"How do you feel toward Doumeki?" Yuuko asked in that high-pitched school girl voice that he hates.

"He isn't that~ bad. After all, Doumeki is Doumeki…." Watanuki smiled and then started to drink from Mokona's cup.

"Mokona is going to bite you if you steal Mokona's drink!" Mokona said angrily snatching away the empty cup.

Watanuki smiled again, "If you like to get breakfast you better not bite me… If you like your life as well."

Doumeki liked watching drunken Watanuki sputter and slur about nothing.

"I think Doumeki's bestest point is his…um…I don't know…everything…" Watanuki said leaning on his forearms now. "He is nice, too…And strong, and he is pointlessly big. Literally, he is huge!"

Doumeki liked how Watanuki sputtered nonsense about him, or just flattered him.

Oi, he was drunk now, too.

"Watanuki, I think you had too much to drink…" Doumeki said reaching for his glass. If he, himself, was, then Watanuki, who had three times as much, definitely was.

Watanuki grabbed his arm and cuddled against it, "But I want some more to drink…"

Doumeki let Watanuki continue with his arm and gave him another drink.

"Doumeki~! Don't take it away…Please, it tastes so-o-o-o-o good!" Watanuki said climbing up his arm, "You want me to have more, and you want me to be happy…"

Doumeki shrugged and gave him another, "Yuuko will kill you if you have anymore."

"If she kills me I'll be too drunk to care anyway." Watanuki muttered sourly.

"Are you drunk?" Doumeki asked him.

"Yes, I think, anyway…That is when the walls look like they are crawling and the room looks like its spinning right? Oh, don't talk, I just good a dizzy spell…"

Doumeki watched Watanuki massage his head and decided it was time to go.

Watanuki pulled his sleeve. "Please, walk me home…I can't do it alone… Someone might attack me…"

"We are going to my house, its closer."

Watanuki shyly nodded and held Doumeki's hand, "D-Will your parents mind?"

"No."

"Oh, okay…Where will I sleep?"

"The guest room."

"Can I sleep in your room…I am cold and you are warm." Watanuki explained, "If you…"

Doumeki sat him down to slip on his shoes, "No, I don't mind…" Then he put on his own shoes.

"You always make me feel so good, do you know that?"

Doumeki looked at Watanuki, who was blushing.

"Y-you always make me feel special…Like I am the only thing that matters." Watanuki hid his face with his book bag.

Yes, Doumeki he is drunk…

Doumeki walked Watanuki to his house, it was late and cold. Watanuki clung to his arm like a leech. "It is so cold, I hate the heat, but if I could just be warm, like when I am with you, that would be fine."

Doumeki kept silent and continued walking. When they got to the shrine Doumeki led him to his room and gave him spare clothes, before he could say anything, Watanuki was stripping out of his clothes…

Once done he lay on Doumeki's futon…Not that Doumeki minded.

It was strange knowing that this was Watanuki Kimihiro though. The boy he goes to school with and claims to hate Doumeki with every fiber of his being…and now sleeping in his room…on his bed…

Watanuki yawned and turned to look at Doumeki, who was hesitating to go to bed…

"You look tired. Come and lay with me…" Watanuki smiled, "You know it is tempting."

Doumeki almost gave in, but suppressed the urge to lay down beside the small body in his bed…On his bed…They were both drunk...So he could just pretend like he couldn't remember…But that was against all his morals…

He shook his head.

Watanuki looked up at him, "Uh, don't do that. You made me dizzy."

Doumeki knelt down at Watanuki's side and rubbed his head, "Is it better?"

Watanuki smirked. "It would be a whole lot better if you just laid down with me…Please, I am cold…" Watanuki could only think that the giant heater in front of him could do something, like keep him warm, just get closer. If he acted nice to the heater maybe it would come…

Doumeki stared at Watanuki…

"Doumeki…, why do I call you Doumeki?" Watanuki asked.

Doumeki shrugged.

"I don't either~! You know what I do know? I know that we can both lay in this futon here…We can count the tatami mats or the strands of hair on each other's heads." Watanuki said rolling to lie on his back. "Oh~!"

Doumeki didn't have to ask what that noise was for; he could see it from the look on Watanuki's face. Apparently his bodily actions can snap him into reality…

"C-can I use your bathroom?"

Doumeki nodded and made sure not to watch Watanuki as he left…He deserved that much privacy.

Doumeki could hear him throwing up and went to check on him.

He rubbed Watanuki's back and head, pulling strands of hair away from his face. "Let it out."

"I am –Going to kill—Ugh!"

Doumeki was startled when his mother came in.

"Oh, Shizuka…I thought that was you…Who is this?" His mother smiled.

"W-Watanuki Kimihiro. He is a friend…He lives alone and I brought him here because it was closer and…" Doumeki trailed off watching him mothers face turn from happiness to curiosity.

"Did you have something alcoholic Shizuka?" she asked.

"N-Yes mother, but it was just one drink and it was from Watanuki's boss…" Doumeki said slowly. He knew that wouldn't sit well with mother but it was worth a try. "I won't do it again. I would never…"

His mother nodded and frowned. "I'll get something to help him with his dilemma." And she walked away.

"Why did you tell her?" Watanuki asked. His stomach emptied.

"She would smell it on me at some point…And you reek for the both of us…" Doumeki shrugged.

Watanuki blushed, "Did I really drink that much?"

Doumeki nodded, "More than the witch, herself."

Watanuki frowned, "That isn't possible…"

"You would think it was from the way you were downing everything…Including Mokona's."

Watanuki nodded slowly before leaning over the toilet again and ….you get the drill…

"I am so tired…Can I just sleep here…?"

"Mom will be back." Doumeki said pointedly, and then rubbed Watanuki's back.

Watanuki's stomach seemed to be doing summersaults…Just a while ago he was fine! What happened~?

"Why did you drink so much?" Doumeki asked him.

"Because~ it was good…" He trailed off, eyes wide. He leaned over the toilet again. His head was spinning. He looked up at Doumeki and started seeing double. He was on cloud nine…

Doumeki rubbed his stomach, "Is that all?"

"No, I think…but I can't be sure…" Watanuki said still hovering over the toilet.

Doumeki nodded. He put an arm around Watanuki's waist, helping him to his feet. He stood him up and waited for his mother to come back…

"W-Watanuki-kun. Are you alright? Her take this, you should feel better…" She spoon fed him something from a brown-ish colored bottle. "You should not take offered alcohol from anyone under age…You should know better. Did your parent ever teach you that?"

Watanuki bent his head, and suppressed a sigh. "They never had the time…"

"Well they should have devoted more of it to you then." Doumeki's mother said slowly. "You are old enough to know better though…"

"I trust my boss…She is responsible enough to know my limit…and Doumeki's, but she is an unorthodox character…She would never do anything that would permanently put me in harm's way…I was the one who-Doumeki and she-I am-…" He paused, collecting his thoughts, "They wouldn't let me…I'm not as intoxicated as I seem…I have a low tolerance…I spilled some on me. That is way it is so strong on me…"

Watanuki was good at lying, Doumeki concluded. This did scare him, a little… If he could lie like this, then why would did he lie so badly to Doumeki?

Watanuki frowned as he stared at Doumeki's mouth…He was seeing double and it made it harder to focus on her.

She sighed and said good-night…As she left; Watanuki realized how much strain he was putting on Doumeki's family…

What would it have been like for his parents?

Watanuki couldn't help the tears that were welling up in the corner of his eyes or the choked cry that escaped his throat.

"Watanuki?"

"Hm?" Watanuki sniffed.

"You must be tired…Let's get you to bed…"

Watanuki nodded and rubbed the tears away from his face. "D-Doumeki?"

"Hn."

"I just wanted to say thank you…For letting me stay over and for saving me and for caring about me and for hanging around me and for …" Watanuki trailed off…He wanted to tell Doumeki how much he meant to him, because he never got to tell his parents…He never did get to…

"You are welcome…" Doumeki said slowly pushed the tears off of Watanuki's cheeks…

Watanuki looked up at him, "I wasn't finished…I wanted to say…that I…"

…..

That I….

"That I love you…" Watanuki whispered slowly…

The light was blinding him and there was an annoying beeping noise coming from beside him…

"Oh…It was just a dream…"

He reached over to hit his alarm clock then laid back down, a sigh escaping his lips.

It had lasted longer this time…It was so real too…

He sighed again as he closed his eyes…

"You shouldn't be so down on yourself…"

Watanuki looked to his right to see Haruka-san, Doumeki's grandfather…

"…I should be…" Watanuki mumbled, "It is almost the same dream every day, mind you…You would think I could take a hint…"

"Shizuka has caught on, I guarantee you. If he has not then he has not learned anything…"

Watanuki looked away from him. "He isn't that slow…I was hoping he was, but he isn't. Which means I have to say something soon…" He stared at the moon… "If only I could have met you in real life, Haruka-san…"

"I would have loved to meet you as well."

Watanuki smiled, "Doumeki isn't as nice as you yet, but he is getting there…"

"Good-night…, Kimihiro-kun."

"Good-night, Haruka-san."

….

After dragging himself out of bed, getting washed, dressed, making lunch, and leaving, Watanuki felt like the only thing he wanted to do was sleep again…

"Oi."

If it weren't for the fact that he was so tired, he would have been fine…Really, but he was also giddy, which made it very hard to yell at Doumeki because he was filled with pure glee.

"Hey, Doumeki." Watanuki smiled…What was wrong with him?

"…" Doumeki looked him over. "Go home and get some sleep."

"No." Watanuki complained whilst holding his head. "I have something to do today and I am not letting this get in the way…"

"What is 'this'?" Doumeki asked.

"'This' is utter exhaustion…Not to mention a blaring headache…" Watanuki frowned.

Doumeki stared at the shorter boy for a good two seconds before pulling him through the shrine gates.

All Watanuki could think was huh?

Doumeki had told him to wait for him at the door and came back in two minutes with a cup of water and two pills. All he could say was "Thank you."

After he took the medicine and Doumeki had put the cup in the house, they were on their way to school.

Strangely enough, silence seemed to follow then all the way there…Causing Watanuki to feel less than pleased…So to break the silence he said, "When is your next tournament?"

"Tomorrow." Doumeki answered slowly. "Why?"

"…I wanted to cheer you on…" Watanuki blushed as he spoke and refused to meet Doumeki's eyes.

"…Is Kunogi coming?"

"I haven't any idea…" He then sucked is teeth, "I am going because I want to…I have to see how my super hero is doing, I can't have him missing his perfect aim, now can I?"

Doumeki felt like Watanuki was teasing him, but not cruelly…It was more like he was joking around with his best friend…

"Oh."

"…I want to…" Watanuki swallowed. "I want to be there for you…"

Doumeki turned his head to look at him.

"Because you are always there to help me…I should at least be there to support you." Watanuki's blush deepened. "I wish you good luck…Not that you need it…" Watanuki blushed as he began his let's-flatter-Doumeki-escapade. "You are good at almost everything that you do…"

Doumeki listened to every word that tumbled its way happily out of Watanuki's mouth…They were at school now and Doumeki thought the compliments would end soon…but, to his surprise, it did not. Watanuki waved his arms talking about how athletic he was and how he was awesome at almost everything that he decided to try…Then, out of nowhere, he smiled a huge, nervous smiled and said he had to go…

…..

"Oi." Doumeki called as he seen him going to his usual spot for lunch.

"Oh, hi Doumeki." Watanuki said smiling. "So you weren't going to practice?"

"No."

"Oh, good. I thought that you would be missing lunch. We wouldn't want that, would we?" Watanuki continued like his less favorite word was not thrown at his back…

"Did you hit your head?"

"…nope…Why?" Watanuki asked turning his head innocently to Doumeki.

Doumeki shook his head and stared at his feet, now what?

"Doumeki, is there something wrong?" Watanuki asked. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face him.

Doumeki, who had not seen him stop and never expected Watanuki to say those words, thought Kunogi was there to hear that question and answered, "No, Kunogi…I am fine…"

"Kunogi? You think I am Himawari-chan? Ok~…Anyway, Yuuko-san wants to have a small party tomorrow…Will you join us?" Watanuki continued on.

"Yeah…" he was distracted. The witch, Yuuko, must have done this to Watanuki.

"Yuuko-san has been generally less pushy lately…She says she is proud that I gave in to Hitsuzen…" Watanuki smiled. She has also been treating him like a daughter…but he would leave that out.

"Gave in to Hitsuzen?" Doumeki asked.

"…Yeah…That I …" Watanuki's mistake suddenly caught up with him…Giving in to Hitsuzen was implying his undying want to be with Doumeki… "That I gave up on Himawari-chan…" Well, it wasn't a full lie…That was part of the Hitsuzen…

"Oh."

Watanuki frowned…He was having a hard time revealing his feelings toward Doumeki and it wasn't making it any more easy when Doumeki was pointlessly big and very intimidating…But he would never hurt Watanuki, would he?

"What did you make for lunch?"

Watanuki pulled himself back into reality at the question, "Guess…"

"Uh," Doumeki's uncertainty showing on his face and in his voice.

Watanuki smiled when he wasn't answered…Mr. High and Mighty did not have an answer.

"Onigiri." Watanuki answered smugly, "Just like you asked for…Like I always do."

Doumeki nodded that he heard.

Watanuki sighed and frowned. This was harder than it needed to be…

"I-I-Yuuko-san, the,…I…" he stuttered nervously…Why was this happening? He spoke to Doumeki all the time! "What I am trying to say is that-…"

Doumeki stared at him still, watching intently, like he was waiting for the winning prize.

"…Doumeki…" Watanuki blushed, "I am -."

"Doumeki-kun, Watanuki-kun, nice to see you...What is wrong Watanuki-kun?" Himawari scared Watanuki as she came up behind him.

"N-nothing, Himawari-chan," Watanuki said smiling, "I was just –ah, I don't know…" Watanuki tripped over a tree root and fell on his face. "Ow, who tripped me?"

"The tree." Doumeki pointed to the tree root.

"Ah, hah! I see, that bully of a tree…Oh, I see…Oh…Doumeki…Himawari-chan…I'm just gonna lay here…Ok?" Watanuki let his body relax on the ground.

Doumeki stared at him and frowned. Why was he sleeping on the ground? "Oi…"

"Yeah~!"

"…get up."

"Why~?"

"Because you can't sleep on the ground…"

"Ah hahahahaah~!" Watanuki smiled up at Himawari. "Oh, Himawari-chan, you are shielding me from the light…Contradictory to your name…"

"Ha…Watanuki-kun? Is this a game?" Himawari asked.

"No~! I just -kya! Doumeki~, put me down!" Doumeki swung him over his shoulder, Watanuki hit Doumeki on the head… "Ahh~, if you don't put me down I will bite you so hard you will wish I-!"

"Weren't being so kinky?" Doumeki asked.

"Yes, but-! No! That isn't it!" Watanuki flushed… "I think that you just want to touch me~!" Watanuki squeeze Doumeki's ear lobe. "Aw~, look…You have the perfect ears to get pierced…I could pierce it with my teeth!"

"Watanuki—!" Doumeki fell back when a pair of teeth bit his ear lobe.

"You guys are such good friends."

"Yeah." Watanuki sighed, "Isn't he just the perfectest?" Watanuki was now pulling at his pockets like a little thief. "Doumeki-kun~, where were we going?"

Doumeki shrugged, almost losing the boy on his shoulder in the process. He really had to lose that habit. "To Yuuko-san."

"Eh? Yuuko-san? Why, she'll ruin my fun and I don't need to go. It's only lunch I don't wanna to go to work! Not yet!" Watanuki began beating on Doumeki's chest. "Oh, I know. Doumeki doesn't like this does he?" He began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Oi, stop it."

"Then put me down~!" Watanuki started reaching for his zipper (Having the perfect reach, and all).

"Uh, stop." Doumeki dropped Watanuki on his butt ("OW!").

"You two look like you need some privacy. I'll see you later." Himawari said standing and turning to leave while waving.

"See you, Himawari-chan!" Watanuki smiled as she began walking away. "Doumeki…Are you mad?"

"No…Just don't do it again."

"Why? Please, don't tell me it turned you on…" Watanuki suddenly smiled mischievously and started crawling over to Doumeki and reaching out for his legs, causing Doumeki to slid away from him.

"Watanuki." Doumeki said in his usual monotone voice, yet there was some warning in his voice as well.

"Aw, I won't give you any problems…" Watanuki whispered. "Are you okay with that?"

"Stop it, idiot." Doumeki warned again to stop Watanuki from doing anything drastic.

"Doumeki, my head hurts and you aren't making it any better…So just shut up and…" Watanuki trailed off and pulled Doumeki toward him by the collar, "Kiss me…"

Doumeki didn't protest or encourage, but stared at Watanuki as their lips touched and Watanuki tried to awkwardly keep it going, "Doumeki?" He stopped and looked up at Doumeki. "D-did I do something wrong?"

"…what did you just do?" Doumeki asked. He was feeling light headed and couldn't figure out if he was imagining it…

"…want a repeat?" Watanuki asked, leaning forward.

"…no." Doumeki stopped him. Pressing a hand to his chest. "You aren't…"

Watanuki slumped, "I'm fine…I just wanted to show you that I care, Doumeki…" He stood and turned his back on Doumeki… "I guess you DON'T like me back, huh?"

Doumeki realized that Watanuki was in his right mind by the way he just hesitated. "I do…"

Watanuki turned to face Doumeki, "Yeah? You really do?"

Doumeki shrugged, "For a while."

Watanuki dropped down next to him, "I love you, and do you love me?"

"Yeah…" Doumeki answered pulling Watanuki closer.

Watanuki kissed Doumeki and pressed his knee into his thigh. "…Doumeki?"

…

"Doumeki?" Watanuki asked angrily.

Just another dream…Figures, he would never have…

Watanuki smiled… "You were sleeping…I guess you should get some sleep…" Watanuki frowned… "Himawari-chan left some time ago…She said that she had to go talk to her teacher…What d-!"

Doumeki had a hand on his shoulder.

"What…?" Watanuki lost all ability to make words…

Doumeki couldn't take the strain to hold himself in front of Watanuki. It was like a heavy burden, a weight on his chest that he needed to be relieved of…

He leaned forward to Watanuki.

"D-Doumeki?" The words were more mouthed than spoken, he lost his voice.

Doumeki captured Watanuki's lips in his own…

Watanuki couldn't help but feel his eyes filling up with held back tears…He reached up to wipe them away, but his wrist was caught by Doumeki's.

Doumeki thought Watanuki was pull away or push him away if he had the chance for either…He pulled himself away.

Watanuki was crying… "I…I-um, what does this mean?"

"It means what it always did…"

Watanuki nodded, blushing. "…oh." He leaned over and slowly kissed Doumeki on the mouth. He pulled away, awkwardly. "So now we are even…And it means the same…as yours…" Watanuki stood and stared at the school. "…the bell just rang…"

Doumeki, who was too busy staring at Watanuki, hadn't heard the bell. "Oh." He began shoveling the remains of the forgotten bento box into his mouth. When finished, he stood up and said, "I'll walk you to class…"

"I'd like that…" Watanuki said smiling, and turning to Doumeki.

They walked in silence and when they reached the class room, whether Doumeki knew or not, Watanuki watched him until he lost sight of him.

Watanuki made it to his seat before the bell rang. But he didn't pay any attention to anyone or anything the whole time…

He was too busy thinking about Doumeki and what he should make for lunch tomorrow…And what little thing he could put in Doumeki's lunch as not to tip Himawari off before he was ready to let her know…Not that she couldn't probably tell on her own.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Weell~! That was just a fluffy filled story, I think. I had to , I suck at writing…I have TOO much imagination/ I can't contain it and write it in an organized story…It all comes out jumbled…So here you are! I hope I can become as good as Flakedice! I won't though…sadly.

My Microsoft word sucks and misses mistakes and I cannot see them for my life, so please excuse them, authors and publishers do it, don't they?